Sexy Space Babes: Chapter Fifty Nine (Patreon)

There was a correct way to  wear a uniform and an incorrect way to wear a uniform. The Shil’vati whose office he’d just been bustled into was definitely an example of the latter.

“My assistant tells me you’re here on an errand from the colonel?” the diminutive male asked, before taking a drag of his cigarette. Or at least, the Shil’vati equivalent to a cigarette, given the smell that hung heavily in the air of the room was most assuredly not that of tobacco. “I assume she finally read my report?”

“Report, sir?” Jason asked, caught just a little wrong footed by the sight of the alien across from him.

In his experiences, Shil’vati males tended towards the prudish end of the spectrum, where clothing was concerned. A move he could well understand, given his experiences with the alien’s opposite gender over the last year or so.

They did not, as a rule of thumb, wander around with their uniforms unzipped to the point where a large swathe of their chest was exposed. In a Human dude, that kind of behavior would be the kind of thing you’d expect to see in a gym jock or a Don Juan-esque character. For a Shil’vati guy though, it created more of an image of a sexy nurse or doctor.

Though, given how jaded the guy looks and all this smoke in the air, maybe this is more of a jaded sexy doctor thing?

“The report I sent to our dear colonel a month ago? The one she…” The other male started to say, before his eyes widened as he realized who he was talking to. “Oh, you’re the Champion.”

“That I am, sir.”

The change in demeanour was as sudden as it was unexpected, as the medical officer stood up and moved around the desk, pulling out a seat for Jason. He even zipped his jumpsuit all the way up, as if suddenly conscious of it.

“Please, please, take a seat.” They said, gesturing to the chair. “Captain Klefd at your service.”

Jason did so, a little bemused by the actions of the officer. Part of him wanted to ask about the sudden personality shift, but eventually he decided against it. The guy obviously had his reasons – and more to the point, enlisted didn’t ask those sorts of questions of officers.

“Thank you sir,” he said once he was situated.

“Not a problem,” the other male said, stubbing out his cigarette as he did so. “Now what can I do for you?”

“Well, I’m actually here on an errand from Captain Friska,” he said, leaning forward. “She’s asked me to investigate if there are any possible… issues with our large female complement?”

The medical officer’s smile, which had been quite genuine, turned decidedly plastic at that. “So she still hasn’t read my report then?”

Jason froze, unable to think of an adequate response to that, before the other male raised his hand to stop him.

“No need to answer that. That last comment was mostly to myself,” Klefd muttered before he sighed. “I’ve half a mind to send you back to Friska with orders to inform her to get the good colonel to check her data-mail list.”

Jason shifted uncomfortably in his seat, not liking the idea of being caught in some kind of pissing contest between two officers.

Fortunately, Klefd was quick to pick up on that. “You can relax. Annoyed as I am at our colonel, I’m not in the habit of burning the messenger.” He pulled out his data-pad. “Instead, since you’re already here, I might as well repeat what I said in that message to you. The colonel might be a bit more willing to listen if her captain hears them from the Champion.”

To be honest, Jason had no idea why his words would carry more weight than a captain’s, but if it meant he could fulfill his orders with a minimum of trouble, he was more than willing to shut up and listen.

Still, it never hurt to grease the wheels a bit. “I’ll be sure to convey that whatever you say here is of utmost importance.”

The alien shot him a thankful look, before passing the data-pad to him.

What a nice guy.

---------------

Klefd, you’re a bastard.

“So, as you can see, your current plans, unless changed, represent a possibility for catastrophe,” Jason read from the data-pad, inwardly cringing as Colonel Cleff idly drummed her taloned fingers against the wood of her desk.

Situated around the woman’s office in various positions were the other members of the senior command staff. The Rakiri captain, who’s name he had still yet to catch, stood imposingly behind the colonel. Friska sat in a nearby chair, looking far more amused than she had any right to be, while her fellow Shil’vati paced back and forth in irritation.

Having finished reading out the chief medical officer’s report, Jason lowered the data-pad.

At which point, the pacing Shil’vati exploded.

Figuratively.

“Where does an upjumped medicine man get off on telling us how to run a regiment!?” The exo-piloted scowled, sending him furious glances, as if the words were Jason’s own.

Which wasn’t strictly untrue. While he might like to think he’d have worded it a bit more softly, he didn’t really see any issue with Klefd’s conclusions.

Something he apparently wasn’t alone in.

“Calm down, Gremp.” Friska chuckled. “The male’s got a sharp tongue, but if his report is to be believed, he might have saved us a world of trouble down the line. That’s kind of his job.”

Gremp shot her contemporary a betrayed look. “The male’s job is to get real soldiers back on their feet when the fighting is done, not dictate strategy to them.”

“I take it you’re not familiar with the notion of preventive medicine then?” Friska asked.

Gremp looked fit to respond, before a gruff voice interrupted the both of them.

“Bite your tongues, both of you,” the Rakiri captain growled in a manner that sent more than just a tingle of primordial fear shooting up Jason’s spine. “You shame us all by squabbling like kittens in our battlemaster’s presence.”

Evidently Humans weren’t the only ones whose lizard brain went into overdrive in the cat woman’s presence, given the way the both Shil’vati instantly went silent.

“Thank you, Puta,” Cleff said into the silence that followed. “It is gratifying to see at least one of my captain’s is capable of retaining their professionalism in the face of unfavourable news.”

Both Shil’vati shifted uncomfortably, but took the rebuke in stride.

Satisfied, the colonel continued. “Lieutenant Avilla, please summarize Captain Klefd’s report for us.”

The plant woman, whom Jason had honestly forgotten was even present, flushed as all eyes turned to her. And he did mean flushed, as the leaves scattered across her body shifted to a deep purple.

Part of her body language or a camouflage mechanism, Jason wondered as the plant-woman stood up unsteadily.

“Me, ma’am?” the alien’s lyrical voice asked, the dryad-esque being asked.

“I said your name didn’t I?” Cleff leaned back in her seat, a hint of heat in her tone.

“R-right,” the plant-woman said, visibly summoning up her courage. “As I understand it, Captain Klefd has found through his own investigations into technical data from Earth, Human females suffer a larger number of injuries than their male counterparts in both active duty and training. Specifically, at a rate two point five times that of a male.”

“An exaggeration, I’m sure,” Gremp opined from her position leaning against the window. “Klefd sourced his data from pre-imperial documents. Given that the societies of Earth favoured males above females, it is obvious that they would attempt to paint female soldiers as inferior.”

“Shut up Gremp,” Cleff said, not even glancing at the woman in question. Instead her gaze remained fixed on Avilla. “Please lieutenant, explain why this is a large concern for us and our burgeoning regiment.”

The plant woman nodded slowly, before continuing. “It is an issue for us, because Captain Gremp was not entirely incorrect. The militaries of pre-imperial Earth did prefer male recruits over females ones. To the extent where female soldiers usually made up less than nine percent of human militaries, and within those roles, less commonly occupied direct combat positions.” She paused, glancing down at her own data-slate. “By contrast, Human females make up nearly thirty percent of the soldiers in our regiment,with many more occupying direct combat roles. The only exception to this is Captain Friska’s company, which is almost universally male.”

“Apparently they didn’t do female tankers back on Earth,” Friska pointed out lackadaisically. “Too physically intensive.”

“Physically intensive?” Puta growled. “Clarify?”

“Well, ignoring that most tankers perform repairs on their own vehicles,” Friska shrugged. “You’ve got to remember that they were still using kinetic weapons before we showed up. Hell, I can remember going up against them. Now, I don’t know exactly how heavy the shells were for those tanks me and my sisters went up against during the invasion, but I’m willing to bet my left tit they weren’t light.

Gremp acknowledged grudgingly. “They certainly produced a big enough boom when they missed.”

“Right, so asking a Human female to act as the loader for one of those beasts would be like asking one of our males to change a fusion cell single handed.” Friska waved a hand in a so-so gesture. “Sure, he could do it, but we all know that a woman would do it much faster.”

Cleff nodded slowly before looking back to Avilla. “Continue, lieutenant.”

“Given the aforementioned facts.” Avilla coughed lightly. “Klefd would like to raise concerns concerning the long term viability of the colonel’s intended battle plan for the regiment’s deployment on Raknos-Three.”

“Raised concerns? I suppose that’s a better way of putting it than the good captain’s own words. Which I believe were ‘ignorantly rushing headlong into a defeat in detail’?”

Cleff might have laughed at the words, but there was no missing the undertone of heat in her tone. Which had Jason wondering if the polite, if oddly dressed, male he’d met was either stupid or just stupidly brave. Either way, he was glad he wasn’t in the doctor’s shoes, because he had a feeling Cleff would be making a trip down to medical sometime in the near future.

And hopefully Jason would be nowhere near the place when she did.

“Well, either way, our plans for a rapid advance may have to be altered rapidly,” Cleff grunted. “Or outright scrapped in favor of something more in line with traditional Imperial tactics.”

Friska leaned back in her seat. “Which is what we were hoping to avoid, because that’s exactly what the Roaches will be expecting.”

The colonel shrugged. “The initial plan was always going to be a risk and I clearly banked too much on Humanity’s reputation and training numbers without going deeper into its long term viability.”

“It is a shame,” Gremp opined. “I had been looking forward to being the ones to catch the Roaches off guard for a change.”

“Yes, well there’s no point in trying to blitz the pirates if we end up losing nearly a third of the regiment to injuries just trying to reach them,” Friska said.

There were a few commiserating grunts around the room, but Jason barely heard them.

“Uh, actually, your plan might not be as dead in the water as you thought.”

He barely realized he’d said the words aloud, focused as he was on the data-pad in front of him. It was only when he glanced up to find every eye in the room on him that he realized he’d spoken. Which made him wonder if he’d just committed some kind of social faux pax by speaking up. Because, prior to him speaking, he had a feeling just about everyone present had forgotten he was even in the room.

“Oh?” Cleff said finally. “Do tell… Champion.”

He had to resist the urge to swallow at the hint of danger that had entered the woman’s tone when she’d referenced his rank. Still, he wasn’t about to allow himself to be cowed so easily. Otherwise there was no point in him being present, and his pride couldn’t take that.

“Well, I actually looked over Captain Klefd’s report on my way up.” He’d actually been looking for ways to somehow mitigate the amount of offense he would cause by reading the blasted thing aloud. “And while the Captain’s report seems to be true in the broad strokes, I think he might have missed a key detail in the data.”

Cleff still looked skeptical - and Gremp looked like she was moments from cussing him out - but she waved for him to continue.

Encouraged, he moved on. “Well, while it’s true that human women tend to suffer more injuries on average than men - specifically two point five times, according to this data – Klefd didn’t pay too much attention to the type.”

Friska glanced down at her slate, finger skittering across the surface. “According to him, it was mostly musculoskeletal. Bones, muscles, tendons and the like. Though that is apparently true for both men and women. Human women just happened to suffer from it disproportionately.”

“It seems even human endurance has limits,” Gremp mused.

Jason shrugged at what he felt was a subtle dig. “Well, unlike Shil’vati our bodies don’t automatically shut down if we try and push them beyond their limits. Which is useful, but we pay for it later. Usually in the form of soft tissue damage.”

“Fascinating a subject as xenobiology is,” Cleff interjected dryly. “I assume the Champion will eventually get to the point.”

Jason nodded, stifling his irritation. “My point is that, from what I can see, the studies that Klefd was pulling from weren’t formed in a vacuum. They came from Earth prior to the invasion. And those studies were performed on soldiers wearing what a soldier would have been expected to wear at the time.”

He could practically feel everyone in the room perking up at that detail.

“And according to this report, the rate of injury for soldiers of both genders is much closer to equal when both sides have no weight. Sure, it’s not exactly perfectly even, but it’s closer.” Jason flitted through his pad to find the appropriate section. “But the number of injuries amongst women increases by nearly ten times with just thirty pounds of weight. And what Klefd likely didn’t realize when he measured median injury rates amongst both genders, was that the average weight of a soldier’s kit at the time these studies was done was nearly sixty two pounds.”

Avilla frowned, the leaves around her head shifting to a bright yellow. “…but we don’t carry nearly that-”

“Exactly!” Jason pointed out excitedly, completely missing the fact that he’d just accidentally cut off an officer. “The armor and weapons worn by Imperial troops are space age compared to what we used to use.”

Advanced alloys, synthetics and plastics that were essentially lightweight. Hell, he’d be surprised if the kit he wore as a ship-based Marine equated to even just eight pounds. Sure, that was as a ship-based Marine, but the Imperium had tools for ground deployments too.

“Plus, the Imperium has access to those robot things…” he finished.

Sure, he’d never exactly interacted with one in his time as a Marine, but he’d seen plenty of the things hanging around at checkpoints back on Earth.

“Auto-Turox,” Gremp said absently. “We use them at a triple-pod level.”

Jason nodded, thinking of the donkey sized four legged robots. A pod could load all their packs onto the machine, so that when they were patrolling on foot they only had to personally carry their armour and weapon systems.

Cleff leaned back in her seat consideringly. "I’ll have to look into all this, but if what the Champion is saying pans out…”

Friska grinned. “Maybe the plan isn’t quite so fucked after all.”

The colonel shot the captain a look. “Quite.”

Then she turned back to him – and for the first time Jason felt like the woman was genuinely looking at him. Not his rank or anything like that, but him.

He wasn’t sure if he liked that. Not with the considering gaze she had.

“Not bad, Human,” she said finally. “Not bad at all.”

With that, the moth-woman turned to her officers and began firing off orders. Apparently dismissed, Jason released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

Part of him should have felt proud of what he’d just done.

So why then, did it feel like a mistake?

AN: Hello all, sorry that this is a bit shorter than usual. I've got an impacted wisdom tooth that flared up a few days ago and has been... distracting.

...Painfully distracting.

I'm going to the dentist tomorrow and should hopefully be getting it removed in short order. 

I figured I should at least get this posted up before then.