27. Monster Mash (Patreon)

A monster looks around with my eyes, flexes my hands, and inhales with my lungs.  For once, it’s not even me.

“Wow,” the slime comments, voice sounding as if I was trying to copy Penelope’s tone and cadence. “You’re very short.”

Hey, fuck you, I think, mentally grinning.  It doesn’t take at first, but after a delay she makes it real.

Then, she turns my body to Penelope and bows deeply.

“Thank you,” she says fervently, “for allowing me to exist. I am so, so sorry.  I know I may never make it up to you, but I owe you everything.  I’ll do whatever you want.  Just please, please don’t kill me.”

My eyes are looking down at the road, but I hear Penelope take a shaky breath. She starts to walk closer.

“Is that really all you are?” she hisses. “Is there nothing more important to you than staying alive? I begged you—I begged you— to set me free. To let me have just a few moments to reclaim my sanity. Where was your contrition then?”

“I’m sorry,” the slime almost whispers. “You would have screamed. You would have cried for help. You would have tried to get me killed. I saw your thoughts. You were planning it every time.”

“Of course I was!” Penelope screams. “You… you…! How dare you act like a person! How dare you tell me that you had no choice while you laughed with my voice, making friends with my team and enjoying fancy baths under my name!”

“The bath was for you! I wanted you to enjoy—”

“Liar!” Penelope shrieks, tears starting again. “If you only care about me when it’s convenient, you don’t care about me at all! Throwing me a chewed bone like I’m a starving dog on the street is not mercy, you arrogant, insufferable thing!  I am not your coddled pet!”

The slime turns my head upwards, finally breaking the bow. Penelope is close, her face a mess of tears and rage.

“If you were in my position,” the slime asks evenly, “would you have done any different? If our roles were reversed, would you die for me? Or would you have watched me suffer?”

She would watch, I suspect.  Penelope is a survivor.  The slime knows that, inside and out. It’s why she asked.

“Our positions are not reversed,” Penelope answers, glowering. “What-ifs do not excuse you.”

“I don’t ask to be excused,” my body answers easily. “Only understood.”

With that, the slime lets go. I stumble slightly, surprised at suddenly having control again, then stand up straight.

“I’m back,” I tell Penelope.

“Good for you,” she answers, crossing her arms.

“Sorry,” I say, scratching my cheek.  “I get that I’m basically harboring your torturer because she was really nice to me while she tortured you.”

“How aptly put,” Penelope growls.

“I believe her, though.  When she says she’s sorry, and when she said she felt like she had no other choice. I don’t think she’s evil. She did bad stuff, but she doesn’t deserve to die. Just, you know. Work off the debt, maybe. She’s smart and useful.”

Penelope looks livid, but considers it despite herself.

“If you die, there will be nothing stopping her from taking me over again,” she points out.

“Well, we’d best make sure I stay alive, then!” I answer, grinning.

She sneers.

“You cheeky, conniving bitch.”

“Thank you Vita,” I respond in a mocking voice, “Thank you so much for keeping me alive on our hunt, and saving me from mind control slimes, and earning me an indebted slime-servant, and escorting me all the way back to Skyhope so we don’t get murdered by monsters or bandits on the road! I really appreciate it, Vita!”

Looking away, she snorts, perhaps trying to hide a smile.

“You did all those things for your own sake,” she protests.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.  But are you free now or aren’t you?”

Holding herself tightly, she takes a deep breath before answering, glancing around the surrounding forest.

“...I suppose I’m free,” she whispers.

“And you’re going to stay that way,” I tell her firmly. “No matter what. I promise.  Besides, you’re a genius biomancer!  I bet you already have a plan on how to stop getting possessed a second time, right?”

She lets the breath release, shaking as if still close to tears.  She nods to me, though, forcing her expression to stay calculating.

“Okay. We’ll do it your way, then.  For now.”

I smile and nod back, setting off slowly down the road back home. Penelope follows next to me, head held high out of habit more than mood. I reach up, tapping on my neck again to signal my currently-deaf companion, and the slime takes over.

Hey there, I think at her. Do you have a name?

“Penelope,” she says, causing Penelope to look up.

"Yes?"

Um, you can’t be named Penelope. Penelope is Penelope. What about… Penta?  You copy memories, so you’re probably gonna end up half Penelope, half Vita!

"Penta, huh?" my body murmurs.  "I suppose it fits.  I'll grow into it, anyway.  I still have a deep-seated hatred of nicknames."

"Oh, you're the slime again," Penelope says, scowling.

"Yes, hello," Penta answers her.  "Vita wanted to talk to me.  This is about the only way I can do it."

"Hearing you talk to yourself is disturbing," Penelope answers.  "At least give me both sides of the conversation."

That's not a bad idea, I think.  We should practice swapping between each other anyway.  It'd be convenient if you didn't have to completely lose your senses when I'm in control, as well.  Can you do partial control?  Passive control?

"I don’t know," Penta says.  "It’s worth a try.  You have a very strange mind.  Everything is… colorful."

Thanks, I think?

"Thanks, I think?" Penta says out loud, copying the way I thought it.

Wow, that's really disturbing.

"Wow, that's really disturbing."

We might need to work on the time lag.

"We might need to work on the time lag.  Look, I'm trying, okay?  Neither of us have done this before, it's difficult."

Penelope gives us a concerned look, prompting me to flash a reassuring grin back at her.  My body actually does so about a second later.

"We'll figure it out," I coax my body to say.  "It's just going to take some practice."

"I still can't believe you're attempting this," Penelope answers, shaking her head.  "It's a parasite, and you're letting it in on purpose.  This is going to backfire, Vita."

Maybe it will, but I doubt it.  If Penta is picking up my memories and habits... well, gratitude is pretty much my single driving motivator.  I feel Penta frown slightly, perhaps considering that very thought.

"You're a lot more manipulative than I took you for initially, Vita," she says.

Penelope raises an eyebrow.

"Hey, I went well out of my way to save your slimy butt," I answer.  "That's genuine."

She smiles with my face.  I can't imagine that ever not feeling weird.

"True, you did.  And I know it was.  Thank you.  Though I must say, I can see why you have such a soft spot for a monster like me."

Hey, maybe don't say shit that will get Penelope suspicious?

"You'll probably be able to tell her," Penta whispers quietly.  "If she trusts you with me, she'll trust you with that.  And if not, we're both screwed anyway."

...Huh.  I don’t know about that. It seems risky.  She’d be a useful person to know, but if a noble goes around claiming I’m an animancer...

"You took the risk with me, and I'm basically her."

Firstly, you’re in my body and I can kill you if you try to tell anyone.  Kind of a different situation.  Secondly, you're not her.  You have aspects of her, but you two are very different people.

I think about each of their souls, how Penelope's traits manifested inside the glob of slime but still remained distinct.

"...I can’t say that makes me feel better about this," Penta answers.  "The threats really aren’t necessary, and you should know that.  Have you looked— hold on."

Yeah, I feel it.  That's no good.

"What?" Penelope demands.

"Big monster incoming," both of us say at once.

Shit, I thought the roads were supposed to be safe!  Well, "relatively" safe.  Something nasty was headed our way, though.  A huge, sleek soul, grey and sharp.  It felt strained, like maybe it was injured?  Oh geez, if it's on the run from an even bigger monster... well, I don't feel anything like that, thank goodness.

Still, it’s huge and fast and headed right for us.  Just Penelope and I against it?  I don't like those odds at all.

I grab Penelope by the arm and sprint off the road.  We leap over shrubs and stumps, making a beeline for the treeline.  Fighting this thing is a bad idea, so I’m really, really hoping we can just hide.  It takes a while to get to the opposite side of the clearing, but we just barely make it before a massive beast crashes out of the trees on the far end.  It’s a terrifying creature, with four limbs each bigger than me that look like thick, muscled arms.  The central bit is mostly sharp-toothed mouth, the arms seemingly attached to a giant head rather than a body.  It moves by grabbing tree trunks and hurling itself forward, so when it hits the clearing it’s forced to scamper awkwardly across the road.

I see it slow down, sniffing at the air.  I hold my breath.  Don’t smell us, don’t smell us, don’t smell us…!  Fucking hell, it starts to clambor right towards us.  Shit!  Penelope looks grim, but starts casting a spell without missing a beat.

"You'd better be able to fucking kill this, Penelope!" I hiss at her, rushing out of cover towards the damn thing.  It was awkward on the road, so I can’t let it get to the trees!

"Me???" Penelope shrieks, "What about you???"

"I have a stick!" I roar back, brandishing the weapon.

"You have a deathtouch!"

"That works on small things!  This thing is bigger than my fucking house!"

The banter ends when a massive hand takes a swing, forcing me to duck or get splattered into paste.  The wind from the strike missing knocks me on my ass, and I barely scramble backwards as the monster brings two fists down on the section of road we were on just a split second ago.

Fuck.  Fuck!  This is exactly the kind of thing I went through so much effort to avoid back in the forest.  Why is it on the damn road?  No time to question it.  How do I survive?  I don’t think this dinky spear is getting through its skin.  Maybe, hypothetically I could stab it in the eyes, thrusting the spear deep enough for a killing blow?  Yeah, right.  I’m not that good.  How would I even reach?  Run up its fucking arm?

"Probably a bad idea," Penta comments, startling me so bad I almost dodge straight into a deathblow.  She corrects for me, moving us out of the way.

Fuck!  No talking while fighting!  Just give me control!

I have one plan, and it’s terrifyingly simple: keep dodging and hope Penelope kills it before it kills me.  It’s not a good plan, but what the fuck else am I supposed to do?

My body is light.  I had a good night's rest recently, I just ingested a huge amount of souls and I’m feeling better than I ever have before in my life.  Yet this toothy, four-armed freak was bigger than me, stronger than me, faster than me, and eventually it’s only a matter of time before it...

Crack.

...Hits me.  A wild swing catches me in the side, snapping my arm and shattering more than a few ribs as it lifts me off the ground and flings me clear to the other side of the road.  Vaguely, I hear Penelope scream my name in terror as I sail through the air.  Breath ejects from my body as I land on my back, skidding down the dirt road.  Shit.  Shit!  The creature pounds over to me, intent on finishing the job.  I scramble to my feet, letting my shattered arm dangle.  No sense carrying that damn spear anymore.  Why does it always go back to me and my fucking knife?  Maybe I should actually spend some of my money on better gear.

I stagger back as it lunges again, barely keeping my footing.  You know, soul, now would be a great time to unlock some new animancy bullshit.  There's no answer, of course.  I’m not that lucky.  The massive, monstrous hand swings for my head and...

...Stops.  Slowly, deliberately, the creature sits down.  I look it in the eyes.  Its freakish mouth smiles at me.  Then, it brings an arm to its own teeth and bites, shattering bone and ripping its limb clean off.  Blood sprays over my face as it tears at itself, ripping itself asunder.  Then it moves to the next limb, then the next, biting, ripping, destroying.  It screams in pain but bites anyway.  Cutting, chewing, tearing, it finally moves to the fourth limb, haltingly, staggeringly... but collapses before it can finish its cannibalistic self-quadriplegia.

I take a deep breath, nearly collapsing back to the ground as a tiny, nearly-invisible blob of slime flows out of the monster's back, over the ground, and back up my leg.

"Yes, you're right," my mouth says, unbidden.  "I suppose it is more efficient if I let you control your body."

Okay.  You earned that one.  Thanks, Penta.

The monster is still breathing, if barely.  I painfully stagger back over to where I dropped my spear, holding it one-armed as I circle around towards the monster’s eyes.

Can it move?

“No,” my mouth promises.  “I suspect it will die on its own in a few minutes, if that.”

Yeah, I can believe it.  She really mutilated the fucker.  Still, I wanted to kill it myself.  Even if it wasn’t strictly necessary, I bring the spear up and jab it down through an eyeball, putting all my meagre weight behind it.  It sinks through flesh, carving something important out of the head and bringing an end to the monster’s life.  A huge soul floats out of the body, which I immediately swallow to take the edge off the pain.  The sleek feeling as it slides down my throat, the sharpness eroding away to nothing as I dissolve it in myself… Ahhh, it’s so satisfying!

“Lie down!” Penelope orders, running out from cover towards me.

“Shouldn’t we get away from the cor—”

“Lie.  Down.”

I obey.  I’m worried about scavengers coming after us, but I’m not gonna argue with the biomancer.  I let myself collapse to the dirt, searing pain hitting me anew as the adrenaline starts to wear off.  I thought it was pretty bad at first, but now it’s getting worse and worse…!  She reaches me, hitting my body with a quick scan before starting her work.

“...This is going to be uncomfortable,” she comments, as the inside of my chest starts to reconfigure itself.  Shards of bone are ripped out of organs as the organs stitch up and move back into place.  Occasionally she stops to collect and pull concerningly large globs up from my lungs and out my mouth, telekinetically tossing them onto the road with a splatter.

"Okay, you're good to talk again," Penelope says eventually.  "So please tell me what the fuck you were thinking?"

"I didn't exactly have a lot of time to think," I complain.  "There was sort of a giant, hungry monster taking up my attention."

"Thanks for not killing me while you worked," Penta adds.

"Actually, better question: what the hell was Remus thinking, sending us back to Skyhope alone?" Penelope grumbles, seemingly ignoring both of us.  "Didn't he think you were his child, or something?"

"He probably thought you would be safe with Vita," Penta answers.  "Getting charged at from deep in the forest is not normal monster behavior.  Besides, his child would live no matter what.  We can always just infect the winner of a fight and find a new host."

"How very comforting," Penelope grumbles.  "We need to stop him before he spreads any more of you."

"Agreed," Penta and I say together.

"He's not considering cooperation an option, when it obviously is," Penta adds.  "But what can we do to stop him?  He's controlling Remus!"

"Can we just send the guild after him?" I groan.  "I've had enough of getting beat up by Remus for one lifetime."

Penelope snorts.

"The guild head is a bureaucrat, not a hunter.  He'd call in other hunter teams or possibly the Templars, and they'd all happily kill Remus in order to deal with the slime."

Ooh, maybe I can pick up his soul.  No… wait, Remus dying is bad.  Right?  That’s bad?  I guess I like Remus.

"They'll also start a purge looking for other Nawra," Penta comments.  "Which might get them searching for us."

The implication being that was bad for Penta's longevity, but also mine..  There’s no way the Templars don’t have some method of detecting animancy.

"Yeah, that'll probably all suck, but the alternative is trying to kill Remuslime ourselves,” I point out.  “Is that even possible?"

Penta and Penelope have no answer to my question, which seems to settle it.  I stand up and stretch, heading over to the monster corpse and giving it a spiteful kick.  Damn, that soul was good, though.  I wonder if its meat would be good.  Should we take an arm home?  No, that would attract other monsters.  Ooh, maybe we’ll get attacked again and I can eat more souls!

"Your gluttony is a little concerning," Penta comments.

"Watcher's eyes, is she thinking about eating that thing?" Penelope grimaced.

Of course I am!  It’s free meat.  Maybe we can treat it real fast and chomp it while it’s juicy.  I am pretty hungry after all that biomancy, so arguably—

"No, no, no, we're not eating raw monster meat," Penta objects, forcing me to start the walk back to town.  "How about we get out of here before the scavengers get ballsy, hmm?"

I mentally pout but don't overrule her, and a relieved Penelope follows after the two of us.  An hour of walking later and the forest finally gives way to farmland once more, vast fields of grain being the only thing left between us and the city.  Now that relative safety of civilized lands is in sight, it strikes me again how beautiful it is out here.  Even the vast fields of grain are a new and exciting sight to my eyes; I simply haven't seen unthreshed wheat more than a few times before, and the hypnotic way it flows in the breeze captures my gaze like nothing in the city can manage.  The forest is even more beautiful, full of exotically-colored flowers and dazzling spreads of insects... though I rarely get to appreciate any of them due to the constant danger of simply being there.

"Oh, I should mention,Penta," I murmur, raising a hand, palm flat.  "You were pretty awesome out there.  Ripping your own body's limbs off was fucking brutal."

Penta smirks with my mouth, bringing my other hand up and completing the self-high-five.

"If not for all the times you've gotten the shit kicked out of you, Vita, I probably would have been too scared of pain to try it.  You are remarkably resistant to trauma."

"Well if that was too brutal for you, you could always hold a body still while I impale it through the eyes instead," I comment.

"I... feel like that's worse.  I'm not sure if that's worse, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to find out."

I cackle, earning a very concerned look from Penelope.  I grin at her.

"Oh, like you don't get giddy when you're figuring out how to make some beastie melt from the inside," I rib.  "I've seen your biomancy grin."

"My what?" Penelope protests.

"Your biomancy grin!" I answer.  "You know, when your face looks like you downed a bag full of gleeshrooms whenever you get to use your talent to kill something."

"I do not have a... a biomancy grin!"

"You super do," Penta comments.  "It's okay.  We can admit that modifying liver cells to release anticoagulants into the bloodstream is ingenious both medically and poetically after Vita nearly died to that very same poison."

"Wh— well, I... yes, I suppose it did give me some measure of amusement to turn the forest's dangers back against it, but..."

"...But the real fun came from introducing it arbitrarily via infection," Penta finishes for her.  "Poison is boring.  Making the body produce the poison it's poisoning itself with?  That's hilarious."

"Well, making the body produce its own doom is the fundamental basis of disease, it's not that revolutionary.  I merely liked the idea of extrapolating on that, altering the basic concept to adapt a filtering system into the reverse.  I suppose it might not have been the most efficient way to get the job done, but when given time and opportunity I think it is important to occasionally forgo standardized methods in order to experiment..."

I grin internally, letting the two of them chat.  Damn, Penelope was desperate to chat nerdy with someone, huh?  My body moves on its own now, the will of a friend guiding it along.  When unwanted, I see how thoroughly this feeling would be a dread horror.  I, however, can be comfortable and safe with the knowledge that I hold Penta's life in my complete control and can kill her at any moment.

I’m vaguely aware that’s maybe not the best foundation to build a friendship on, but it is what it is.  Now that I don’t have to worry about my body for a while, I’m free to concentrate on souls.  Specifically, my soul.  The last time I took a real deep look at it was quite a few blasphemies ago.  I always feel it, but I feel it in the way I always feel my own skin.  It’s just there.  Before, it was a small, black thing, cracked with flashes of light underneath.  Now, the cracks are wider, scintillating colors flashing beneath the hard, rough shell like a chaotic storm.  Something— some part of me— squirms inside, stretching gleefully as my soul grows.  Some of the cracks were so wide that maybe, maybe, I can push bits of myself out.

I want to come out.  I’m ready, if I choose, to cast off my dark shell and hatch.  To cast off the veneer of humanity that keeps me contained.  I do not require these pathetic trappings any lon—

“Vita!  Vita, hey!” my body shouts, slapping itself lightly.  “You okay in there?”

My thoughts stall.  What was…?

“How about you don’t do whatever you were about to do?” she murmurs.  “Okay?”

Yeah, okay.  That sounds good.

At my agreement, Penta relinquishes control of the body, leaving me to walk the rest of the way back to Skyhope in silence.