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Applying Assisstant Writers (Patreon)

Published:
2022-09-20 22:28:05
Edited:
2022-09-20 22:37:47
Imported:
2022-09

Content

Continuing the investment poll, I have today received the test scene from the second applicant. Now it's time for you to check them out and give me your opinion. Below I will post both the brief that I gave both of them and also repost their application infos. For the brief, the scene is a planned scene that is plot-wise still a bit in the future and it happens after Alicia has corrupted the blue value orbs to (some) degree.

Test Scene Brief:

  • (1) The  scenario is that Aura and Laura run into the bullies again,  but at a later stage where Aura has built-up lots of lewd experiences in the Isekai and gained mental changes that makes her hot for well-built muscular, hot men.
  • (2) The bully group (lead by the character Rowdy Student) is out for revenge for last time and threatens Aura to have her suck their dicks after beating her up. 
  • (3) Aura gets ready to kick their asses, but scanning them and noticing that they have worked out to beat her, she starts to feel attraction towards them. 
  • (4) Aura gets conflicted about her sense of justice that tells her she should beat them up and her desire to find out how their dicks taste like. 
  • (5) She ends up giving in and doing a blowjob for Rowdy Student.
  • (6) Eventually she commands Laura to join her and insults her for not being a better girlfriend to Rowdy Student and throwing away the opportunity for a high quality dick. 
  • (7) After making him cum, the scene ends with Aura telling Laura that she should properly become Rowdy Student's girlfriend. (Contrasting her initial attitude.)

Applicants:

  • (1) elizzyviolet: Among other projects, I was the lead writer on the hit visual novel/match 3 hybrid game Furry Shades of Gay, have written for several games made by CyberScherzo Studios, and am currently a writer for The Company, a text-based game with around 1300 patrons at time of writing.  I also have a huge backlog of stories on Literotica, and made the well-received text-based RPGs Slime Girl Caverns and Succubus Draining Maze.
    Test scene: Google Doc
    Price: 0.1 USD per word.
  • (2) Alberto Pizzaolla: I'm interested in the position, especially since you mentioned "mind effect" content is something you're looking for. I'm pretty big on that stuff and I believe I can do a great job writing those kinds of scenarios. English is my first and only language, and I'm familiar with various isekai and anime tropes.  I've worked as the lead writer for Rosa's are Red, and am currently working as the lead writer for Our Apartment.
    Test scene: Google Doc
    Price: 0.06 eurocent per word. (Same price as previous assisstant writer)

Although, she does have some nice humorous lines going for her, I would say that elizzyviolet has not proven to provide better quality for her high price (0.1 USD per word is pretty much the top of the bar in adult writing, which gave me quite some high expectations). However, neither candidates managed to fulfill a certain point where the previous assisstant writer also had troubles:

(4) Aura gets conflicted about her sense of justice

Neither of them manage to capture the moral corruption part to a degree I find satisfactory. If I were to integrate this scene, I would quite heavily, in both cases, edit this part and focus more on the conflicting feelings of her attraction vs her feelings of hate against people who abuse their power against the weak. I'm not sure if this is really even a problem with these candidates since it was also kind of a weak-point with the previous assisstant writer, maybe it's just natural that when I put out a job ad towards erotic writers, I will mostly get ones that are good at sexual corruption, but not so skilled at writing moral corruption :'D

So here comes now the big question. I'm personally currently torn between offering the position to Alberto or continuing the search. Although I don't have any remaining good candidates... The requirement of "playing the game" has drastically reduced the number of applicants (ok there were a lot of cheap, unskilled and most importantly desperate applicants who would do anything for a job, but I'm not counting them^^'). So I'm not sure if further search would yield better results and maybe just by working together, my concerns can be fixed.

Well, anyways, enough from my blurb, let me know what you think. Is there some pro I missed for Elizzyviolet? Or maybe any big pro/con argument I missed for Alberto? Let me know! 

Since I opened up the topic in the investment poll accessible for all patrons and as I wrote, that the decision on who we hire, impacts that other poll as well, I will also be giving access to this poll to all patrons.

Comments

Anonymous

Honestly, it's your game, and it's your vision. If what they're doing isn't up to your expectations, hold out as long as you can to find one that does. Personally, of the two in the poll, as much as I like "the company"... I'd have to side with Albert at the moment. His writing seemed to flow a little better.

Anonymous

hey there, i didn't know there was an opening! if it's not too late, here's my take on this scene: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lezVYCFWmerAp9jSGvmp6_geOLrWfNUdUiS3jUXBfbU/edit?usp=sharing

Anonymous

Between the two, I think Alberto has touched the moral corruption part, though not that much as I would like to have it done. But yea, he got my vote on this one. The wording and flow got me "going" better than elizzy.

Altriese

I like albertos but maybe instead of rowdy student over powering aura have aura realize that while she can protect herself she cant be sure she could protect Laura as well and bargains with rowdy to supply him with a blow job right in front of his friends (and maybe recall doing something like this to get past some bandits in roha) and while that is happening notice what looks like revulsion in Laura's face that starts to upset aura. "Like what's the big deal I am just sucking a cock!! And not a bad one at that. This is all for her sake anyway. Maybe if she actually was his girlfriend I would not have to be doing this and she would have a hot boyfriend. He is a better choice for a boyfriend then the boys in the literature club that struggle just to lift their backpacks."

Anonymous

The premise of the scene is pretty unreal to begin with. I guess it mirrors the bandit bridge scene in Roya, but taking place IRL... yeah, the suspension of disbelief is already strained beyond its limit. I could buy it if Aura fought them again and won, but did develop an attraction, took some time to rethink her approach and then made a private deal with the ringleader in a more discreet way, but the way it plays out here feels rushed. As for how it's executed by the writers, I much prefer Elizzy's version: her Aura isn't quite as much of a braindead bimbo; more of an effort is made to show her thought process and it's more in line with what we've seen of Aura so far outside of her being drugged/cursed out her mind; I like how Aura is a little more active in initiating the sex after making her mind up; the dialogue just seems more clever to me, for lack of a better word, both between the characters and Aura's thoughts; and while suddenly coaxing Laura into an arrangement she's clearly not comfortable with again feels very rushed and implausible, Elizzy handles it more creatively. I don't know what parts of these submissions would be edited by Auradev, but on their own merit, I'd 110% go with Elizzy if she were the same price. I honestly don't see what people prefer in Alberto's submission, but maybe they're more able to separate the sex from the corruption and the characters. Because the Aura we see in that one seems 95% gone to Bimboland instead of "only" 80%, and it makes me a little worried about the corruption going forward.

aa

I like Elizzyviolet more because Aura tries to resist more and is more similar to the very determined initial Aura ... in Alberto from my point of view it is already too corrupt and therefore the charm of the attempted resistance is also lost ...

Anonymous
>>92024115

Much better grasp of Aura's corruption here! Feels a little rushed between the start of her internal conflict and her capitulation, but still very workable. You "get" her "voice", I feel. My neither vote would have gone to this, instead, if it was in the poll. How many hours would you say you've put into playing the game?

Anonymous
>>92024115

Thank you for your comment! I don't know how many hours entirely, but I've basically done the entire thing twice, and I really love the characters, so, had I known earlier there was an opening, I would have applied for sure. I think as well that I have a better grasp on Aura than the two applicants because they don't seem to put any "struggle", instead, they both went to a "bimbo" brainwashed Aura who stops thinking and goes blank whenever sex appears, whereas I think Aura has a very deeply rooted need to make sense of everything, so whenever mental changes and corruption make her act a certain way, she has some sort of internal monologue about how she believes what she's doing is the right thing, and that's what I was trying to do here.