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We drived 40 minutes yesterday and visited Nico in his isolated house in the country side. To our pleasant surprise, he prepared us a nice meal and he actually cleaned his house before we arrived. We had a great time at table. After the meal, we went on a walk, and we went to the nearest town which is one mile away from Nico's house.

Despite of the great time we had chatting and making jokes, I'm getting more and more worried about Nico's health. If he only looked tired the last time we saw him, this time he looks... sick. He told me he didn't sleep well and he was very worried about the court process. Because of the stress, he doubled his medecine dose.

Nico is kind of a doctor himself, so I can't give my two cents on how he should treat himself medically. All I saw is that he is not doing well, aside from being very sensitive to the noises, he got emotional very quickly.

I actually took the advice from the comments and treated him like a nomal person, which means I did't talk about his depression and insisted on the fact that it's normal to be depressed. But the conversion didn't go the positive direction I wanted it to go. At a certain point, he told me that he was thinking about suicide every day and he would've probably done it if it wasn't for his mother.

We left Nico's place with a heavy heart.

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Comments

Jecofish

I know it sounds weird, but the fact that he's telling you about his suicidal thoughts is a good thing. In nearly all cases of suicides, the family and friends had no idea the person was suffering inside. You're a good friend, Song. Just keep talking to him, and letting him talk to you. Find a kind way to suggest therapy.

Danny Provencio

Oh dear this has escalated to crisis. For him to be so flippant in talking about suicide means he is in grave danger. He needs to get help right away and stop self medicating.

Danny Provencio

Ask him to describe in detail how he would commit suicide. That sometimes scares them into not doing it.

Jecofish

I disagree with Daniel only in that his is a common reaction to hearing about this (suicidal thoughts) 2nd hand. You cannot force a person to get help. You can only give your time and energy as a friend and suggest he seek professional help. What Daniel read as flippant is really a reflection of the trust Nico has in you in Joe. Otherwise, he wouldn't have felt vulnerable enough to share it with you.

song

Thank you very much. I will keep on communicating with him and make him feel less lonely, and maybe on the weekend we can drive to his place and spend time with him. But that's pretty much all what we can do right now. He doesn't seem to have the will to get himself a therapy. Me and Joe can't force him to do that, either. Things would have been easier if he didn't live so far away.

song

Thank you, Danny. I do wish things will get better from now on, but he really has to change the place. He's living in the middle of nowhere. Things could be better if he's surrounded by people.

song

Thank you, Danny. But it's very hard to ask him to do that. Only talking about suicide, he was already having teary eyes, it's very hard for me to continue that topic.

song

Thank you very much. And I agree with you, it's not easy to ask him to talk more about his suicidal thoughts. He was in tears, and I have been silent after I saw him crying in front of us (which is not normal in my opinion).

Danny Provencio

I know it's very hard to get someone to seek professional help. Been there myself. And he can't help himself till he wants to. Tough for freinds to watch freind fall apart. Suicidle thoughts means he is having a nervous breakdown. Used to be a person could be be forced into hospital for this. Not that I'm suggesting that. Just keep in touch with him if you can. He needs support even when it seems he doesn't want it.

CuddleMonster

I have to agree with Daniel here. Nico needs professional help NOW. But you can't force him. You would need a court order for that... oh guys ... I'm so sad. Try to keep in touch with him as much as possible.