Chapter 88: Cell Attributes (Patreon)

“Wait, you were actually working on that?” Edwin found himself taken aback slightly by Cope’s declaration. He had mildly assumed that Cope wasn’t actually keeping up any part of his deal, but apparently he was?

To his credit, the man looked slightly taken aback, “But of course! You’ve done a remarkable amount of work, it is only fair that I uphold my side of our bargain. Did you truly think so little of me?”

Edwin shrugged, “I mean, it’s been some two months, and I still don’t know how much I’m being paid. I was hanging around because I like the chance to learn more about alchemy.”

Cope frowned, “You haven’t been paid? I’ll have to look into that.”

Edwin vaguely shrugged, “So... tomorrow morning, you said? Okay. I can do that. Where’s it at?”

“Medicinal Workshop. I’ll have Thoril show you where it is as you head out today.”

The corners of Edwin’s mouth twitched up slightly at Thoril’s groan, as yet another task shepherding him was assigned to the unfortunate guy.

-----

“So explain to me why this matters again?” Inion asked, “Dontya already know how to heal people or whatever? Plus, it’s not like you’ll get any more First Aid levels.”

“I want to get licensed,” Edwin sighed, reclining against his pillow, “And yes, I don’t think I’ll learn much on the medical side, though I am curious about the alchemical aspects of medicine, but that’s not the main point anyway. I just want to be legally permitted to heal people.”

“What is that for, anyway? Seems stupid.”

Edwin shrugged, his eyes closed as he leaned back, “I thought so too, at first. But we had something similar back home. Of course, it was also way harder to heal people back there, without magic to use as a cheat, but I can mostly understand why a culture that controls the distribution of Skills would want to be careful with who gets Skills pertaining to life and death, and ensure they actually know the basics of what they’re doing.”

“Mmh. Well, I think it’s stupid. You can heal people just fine, but they won’t let you. What if you do it anyway?” she dropped onto the bed next to Edwin, causing the mattress to shift slightly.

“I’m… not sure, actually. Not that it really makes a difference. I wouldn’t just let someone die if I could help it.”

Shut up, brain. I don’t need counterexamples right now.

“The license just means I’m playing the game, and I don’t need to sneak around the law. Besides, Cope’s paying for it. All I need to do is show up to the classes and lessons. How hard could it be?”

They were both silent for a moment, then spoke at the same time.

“Shoot, I just screwed myself over, didn’t I?”

“You realize you just jinxed it, right?”

Edwin sighed and groaned, “Great. Well… I mean, how bad-”

“You probably don’t want to finish that, do you.”

“You’re… you’re probably right, yeah.”

-----

The sights of Panastalis never truly got old. The utterly ridiculous size of the tree the town was built around made Edwin feel tiny no matter how many times he climbed it. If anything, the endless flights of stairs he’d had to climb oh so very many times had just further reinforced the scale of the titan in his mind. Meanwhile, the buildings built into its side did nothing to diminish the imposing scale, and really only served to remind him of the power of the alchemy guild locally.

From what he’d seen of Panastalis’ layout, non-alchemy related buildings were on the forest floor, away from the tree, then various offices and halls were built into the trunk of the tree, with more important individuals and subgroups of the guild near the base. Then, built into and atop the branches of the tree were all the workshops.

So, that the Medicinal Workshop, where Edwin’s lessons were to be held, was at the very base of the tree was unusual to say the very least. Upon further reflection, it made sense that they might not want to have to cart people to the top of the tree for treatment, though that did raise the question of how they got people down from the top, if they were injured in the workshop. Surely, that had to be a semi-common occurrence? There hadn’t been too many incidents in his work group, but they still had their fair share of cuts and burns that came alongside working with inadequate safety equipment.

Like everything else visible from the ground, the Medicinal Workshop was grandiose. Carved and stained wood elegantly framed the entry archway, and the door was covered with relief carvings, painted and glimmering. Even the animated, glowing, and colored depiction of a flickering flame only distracted him for a minute.

The interior was less grandiose yet no less impressive. There was a sizeable waiting room of sorts, with a desk set to the side. Behind the desk, an entire wall of bottles, all shapes and sizes and organized in a manner which belied Edwin’s momentary assessment, stood tall and imposing. You’d outright need a- ah, there was the ladder, set on rails to allow for easy access to the medicines on every shelf. Off to one side, an open archway covered by hanging curtains led further into the back, though there was nobody present.

“Hello?” Edwin asked the empty room, “I have an appointment?”

The walls didn’t respond, unsurprisingly. It didn’t take long for the curtains to part, though, and allow a new individual entry. A purple-haired, green-skinned gnome hopped onto some unseen ledge behind the counter, and greeted Edwin.

“Heya! Sorry about the wait. What can I do forya?”

Experienced Managerial Shopkeep

“I’m one of Cope’s assistants,” Edwin explained, “and I was told to come here to get a healer’s license?”

“Hm? Ah yeah, the Alchemist-Errant,” she pointed behind Edwin to one of the closed doors on the far wall, “Down that hall, first door on the right.”

He nodded his thanks to the gnome and departed. ‘First door on the right’ wasn’t exactly tricky to find, so when he arrived, he knocked twice and waited for a “come in!” before entering.

Inside, Edwin found a relatively cozy office. In one corner, a blazing fire (thankfully burning wood, not arycal) raged, and all that defended the room from massively overheating was a massive yet solitary open window overlooking Panastalis’ native river where it flowed below.

Most of the office space was, reminiscent of Cope’s, lined with all manner of clutter. Unlike the arrogant alchemist, however, this room was filled predominantly with bottles, though bowls of herbs, berries, tree bark, and other natural-looking ingredients presented a strong front.

Presumably, Edwin thought, they were actually useful potions and potion ingredients, despite not having any particular basis for that hypothesis. That said, the stock wasn't unanimously medicinal. In one corner, a taxidermied raven perched, surveying its domain as though all who came in were but more shiny trinkets to collect. Despite its apparent nature, Edwin kept a wary eye on the bird as to ensure it wasn’t some unusually still familiar or something.

His teacher, imposing in authority if not build, filled the desk with the outfit and hair which belonged to some mighty wizard or scholar. Long white hair and a sizable beard stretched beyond what Edwin could properly see, obscured by the desk at its tip. The man assessed Edwin with bright eyes, and his arms moved with the easy grace of youth as he worked to clear some papers from his desk.

Alchemist Vital

Oh, cool! Did that mean he’d gotten and completed the Alchemy Vitae path? Had he created life of some sort? He might want to ask about that at the end of this. He finished entering the room and-

“Close the door! You’re disrupting the heat!” his teacher snapped, as Edwin was doing just that. While annoyed, he wasn’t petty enough to abort his action just to spite the man.

…Okay, Edwin might be that petty on occasion, but he wasn’t going to do so this time.

“And now who are… Ah, Alchemist-Errant? You would be Maxlin, then.” his voice wasn’t too scratchy, but it still rubbed Edwin the wrong way.

“That’s me,” Edwin agreed as he took a seat opposite the man, “Though you can call me Edwin. And you are?” he prompted.

“Alchemist Galen,” the man snapped, “And don’t you forget it, Maxlin!”

Edwin hadn’t done anything to warrant that sort of hostility, had he? He figured he was probably just being overly sensitive, and dialed back his threshold for ‘actively hostile’ from the elderly alchemist in front of him.

“Certainly, Alchemist Galen.”

“Hm. Well, you learn quick, if nothing else. Good!”

“So… you’re some fool who wants the First Aid skill when you’re at tier four already? Or didya get a medical Skill from an upgrade. Why didn’t your hometown medic get ya licensed, boy?”

“There were… extenuating circumstances. I didn’t get my medical Skill until after I had left home, and once I did, I tried to apply for the license when I was in Vinstead, but that didn’t go well. So, here I am.”

“Hmm. It’s a disgrace you were able to get the Skill prior to completion of the course. Though I must ask,” the man stood up, “What medical Skills do you possess?”

Edwin hesitated. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to share. But then again, it had been fine when he had talked with Rizzali. Though that was extenuating circumstances. Would it be safe if he told Galen?

“Well, come on! We don’t got all day for this!” the alchemist snapped, as he paced back and forth. Or was his hostility sensitivity too high still?

“Primarily First Aid and Anatomy.”

“Eh? You got First Aid? Howzat work for ya?”

“That’s a... long story, but one that I’d rather not go into at the moment.”

“Bah! You youth and your secrets. I swear, you better not go Adventurer on me now?” he waved a finger, “Far too lenient on those kids these days, I swear. Back in my day, I’ll have you know, we didn’t play into the ‘oh I’m so special’ mentality they allow these days. If you wanted to play with the Empire, you played by the Empire’s rules, you contributed to society properly. None of this nonsense.”

Edwin very carefully stayed silent.

“Buncha blind fools, who think they know better than centuries of Imperial crafting. Makes me sick! I barely even recognize some of the kids these days, with their new classes and all…”

He continued his rant for a while, and Edwin steadily grew more and more impatient until he finally broke. Unlike previous times, he did have something he wanted to get done today, and he was worried he might give away something about his status as an Adventurer if he wasn’t careful, “I don’t suppose we could actually stay on topic?”

He immediately stopped his rant, “I don’t suppose we could stay on topic, Alchemist Galen,” he corrected.

Edwin sighed, “I don’t suppose we could stay on topic, Alchemist Galen?”

“Much better. Now, where were we?”

“My medicine Skills?” he prompted.

“Right! You had First Aid and…”

“Anatomy,” Edwin sighed.

“Anatomy! Whazzat do?”

Edwin lamely shrugged, “So far as I can tell, it helps me figure out the internals of myself or of others. Mainly useful on humans, though I think that’s just because that’s where my primary experience with it is.”

“Hmmm. Doesn’t seem too useful.”

“Is it?”

“Well, it’s not Vivification, Medicine, Vital Rebalance, or even Elixir Infusion! Now those are proper Skills for a medic-alchemist. Not that Anatomy nonsense. Did they really change up the Alchemy set so soon?”

“What is it with people not liking my Skills?” Edwin muttered, “They work just fine for me.”

“Bah. Take it up with your Registrar. They clearly failed by not telling you what you coulda gotten. That’s not what we’re here for today though, is it?”

Edwin sat up straight. He idly wondered what sorts of development they’d managed to accomplish with magical assistance, and what kinds of alchemical medicine they had. He still remembered how his healing potions Cope had only called ‘elixirs of rapid recovery,’ which were apparently different from normal healing potions. How did that work?

He realized his teacher was waiting for him with an expectant look on his face, “Uh, yes, Alchemist Galen. I want to get my healer’s license.”

He nodded, “Good. So, tell me. What are the Essential Attributes?”

“Wait, in a medical sense?” Edwin cast his mind back. Where had he… Ah! Right, the Zosiman Grimoire. He tapped his knee and quickly used a series of Identify to get to his ‘index’ page, then jumped to the relevant part of his ‘digitized’ tome, “The three Essential Attributes are Health, Stamina, and Mana. Health is-”

“Wrong.”

“What? Wait, is that not what you wanted?”

“I want you to tell me reality! Not that archaic model!”

“But you asked… Okay. So, the body works through a complex interaction of internal organs. It’s organized by nerve clusters primarily originating from the brain, though the heart and intestines also have some nerve nets. The brain operates most bodily functions autonomously, feeding signals to the heart and lungs for-”

“What the ruddy stone are you prattling on about?”

“How the body works?” Edwin hazarded, “I was getting to the way Attributes interact, but I needed to establish some baseline.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong. I ought to track down whoever your teacher was and give them a firm scolding. You even had a Skill which helps you determine bodily function?”

Edwin hesitantly nodded.

“Bah! That you could be so led astray that even your own Skill tells you falsehoods!”

“That’s… possible? I’d never heard of such a thing.”

Then again, Edwin realized with a bit of consideration, Given I know my knowledge is right, they must have that sort of thing happen with their knowledge Skills. Huh. Can the System be outright wrong?

“Neither had I, yet your Skill is worse than useless! What’s your First Aid level, boy? If it’s not at least fifty, this isn’t worth my time.”

“It’s, ah… eighty two.”

“Eh?” Edwin felt a bit of satisfaction as the information caught the crotchety old man off-guard, “It’s what?”

“Eighty two.”

“How’d you go about managing that? Ah, no. You must have had it for years tryin to get it to compensate for such utter nonsense you fed it, didn’t you?”

“Well… not exactly, but…”

“Exactly! Put it through the wringer, you did, boy. You’d best apologize to it!”

“…Apologize? Also, aren’t we getting off-track, Alchemist Galen?”

“Fine! Apologize on your own time then. Since you’re clearly so lost, allow me to enlighten you on the proper methods of wound treatment.The body is made of three Attributes- Health, Stamina, and Perception.

“Health is the dominant Attribute, as it provides life and blood to the rest of the body. Blood, naturally, is heat and composed primarily of fire. It is how we digest and burn food, and gives us our body temperature. It, and the heart, are naturally responsible for intelligence, understanding and courage. This is why the heart is the most important organ in the body, as it is through it that blood is controlled and direction is given to the creature.

“Stamina is the supporting Attribute, and it is what grants motion to the heart itself. Thanks to it, we may move, blood reaches its destination, we breathe, and may utilize our limbs for the multitude of tasks we depend upon it. It is, naturally, made of the wind. This is why we must breathe, to restore our Stamina. It is released in the form of sweat when used, and subsequently returns to the world around us. However, it is treacherous and is similarly responsible for nervousness, stress, pain, and fear, among others.

“Lastly, there is Perception. Perception is the Attribute associated with water and which connects us to the world around us, lets us see and lets us hear. It is in the subordinate brain, and why those without heads cannot sense, though they may still act and may yet live.”

Edwin raised an eyebrow at the assertion that someone might ‘still live’ while headless, but he’d held his tongue this far, he could keep quiet a bit longer.

“As it is the gateway between the self and the outside, it is thanks to it that we have compassion, grow tired, feel anger, and more besides. It likewise is responsible for digestion and speech.”

“That’s… how did you come to any of those conclusions?” Edwin couldn’t help but ask.

“Indeed,” Galen agreed, misunderstanding Edwin’s reaction, “It required a true genius to determine such massive revelations. It was, in fact, a Panastalis native from nigh a thousand years ago, who made the Alchemedical Manuscripts. His name has been mostly lost to time, and is now known only as ‘the Healer.’ Truly inspiring, no?”

Edwin was speechless for a minute, though not for the reasons the alchemist seemed to think.

“So…” he eventually sighed, “What about the other Attributes? The Attribute theory I was exposed to suggested Mana, not Perception, was the third Attribute.”

“Bah! Zosiman knows not what he speaks of. Mana is far too rare to be an essential Attribute. Beyond the infinitesimal appearance of the Attribute itself, so few actually have mana of any amount. It is exactly as it seems, no more and no less. It is magic, not something that is an integral part of the body.”

“And the other Attributes?”

“Much the same. Charisma is merely another form of Perception, hence the name, though one which pertains to the interaction of the self out into the world. Constitution is a rough, mocking combination of Stamina and Health, which separates the body from the ravages of the world. Dexterity is akin to Stamina, and more besides. Do you need me ton continue?”

Edwin shook his head. He had a pretty decent sense of the sorts of stuff they believed, “So… how does this help when trying to give someone medical attention?”

“That depends on their ailment, naturally. In the purely physical Fever and chills are associated with Health, a cough or mobility issues with Stamina, digestive issues and pains with Perception. Similarly, more emotional ailments can be cured in similar manners, though with slight alterations. Once the required treatment is determined, it is merely a simple matter of returning the Attributes into their proper balance.”

“And how do you do that?” Edwin asked, feeling defeated. He felt like he already knew the answer, but…

“Well, one’s Perception is overactive, they require far more sleep than usual, or ensuring they don’t sleep if they are short upon the Attribute. If they are short upon Stamina, a potion restoring such is in order, whereas in the event they have too much, they are to stay as active as possible, or at the very least stay upright. Health is unusual in that it is more difficult in the event they do not have sufficient blood, as usually only alchemical means can regenerate it. In the event they have too much Health, the cure is simple.”

“Bleeding?” Edwin guessed

“You do know some medicine! I thought you were hopeless.”

He sighed, “Have you ever tested the effectiveness of bleeding people?”

“But of course! It is the standard response to any with a fever.”

“And does bleeding dramatically improve recovery rates, Alchemist Galen?” he asked skeptically.

“Of course! Fever is nothing more than the excess of fire, and bleeding is the way to reduce the amount of blood within a person, obviously. Surely you can understand that?”

Edwin glared at the ‘medic,’ “Yes, I understand that bleeding a person reduces the amount of blood they have. That’s obvious.”

“Excellent! Now, the next thing-”

“Hang on, hang on. I wasn’t finished. How do you know that removing blood from a person actually helps them recover?”

“Many who come to myself or my apprentices recover admirably from their fevers.”

“And some die?”

“That is simply the assurance of life.”

Edwin groaned. He hadn’t felt this frustrated in… well, about two months, when he found out what arycal was made of, “But how do you know they wouldn’t have recovered just as good if not better without the bleeding? Have you ever tested the idea of whether or not bleeding a person actually helps them with a  fever?”

“What, you would have me experiment upon my patients? Bah! I will only seek to provide the best medical care I am capable of. Why would I ever desire to not treat an individual when I would be capable of curing them?”

“Well… what about making sure that whatever cure you gave them was the best you could? Like, what if it turned out you were wrong? How would you find out?”

“Ah! I comprehend your reticence more now. Rest assured, we only use the knowledge passed down for us from generations ago, which has been in use for generations. We would never dare to countermand the wisdom of those who have put in the difficulty of realizing how the body works and how best to cure it.”

“And what if they were wrong?”

The man looked at Edwin like he’d grown a second head, “You doubt the wisdom of your elders?”

Edwin resisted the urge to massage his temples, “Well, where I come from, bleeding used to be common practice, until someone actually took the time to compare how patients fared without being bled and with being bled, and bleeding them did worse than nothing. Centuries of people died at the hands of doctors who never questioned whether or not bleeding someone, reducing their health, would really be good when suffering from a fever.”

“Nonsense. This is not a discussion, this is a lesson.”

“No! You’re killing people by bleeding them.” Edwin started to lose his temper, “That’s not how the body works!”

“Be quiet! I will not be gainsaid by the likes of you!”

“You’ve never even tried another method, though! You don’t know the results of anything you do!”

“What, you would have me… experiment upon my patients, like they were some kind of test subject?”

“Yes! That’s the only way to improve!”

“Then tell me, oh wise one. How does one go about treating a fever?”

Edwin was momentarily caught off-guard, “Huh. I was expecting you to ask me how a fever came about. As for the fever, you don’t treat it, it’s just a symptom. You need to treat the base ailment rather than just trying to reduce the fever. In some cases, that can actually be harmful by itself.”

“Very well. How do you propose reducing one’s health if not by bleeding them? It’s right in the name, after all.”

“But… that’s not what causes the problem. It has nothing to do with an ‘overabundance of blood’ or whatever. So far as I know, that’s not even possible. Fevers are how the body tries to fight off infections.”

“In…infection? Bah! If you wish to try and spout such nonsense, at least do not deign to making up words!”

“What? No. Infection isn’t made up. Well, I suppose all words are made up, but that’s besides the point. Let me think how to describe this… You know about parasites, I hope?”

“Naturally. They can be created when drinking tainted water.”

“That’s… I’ll get back to that. Anyway, an infection is kind of like that, but instead of there being one big creature living in the host, there’s thousands, millions, or even billions that get in and start to divide, and the body trying to fight them off can raise the temperature to try and kill them.”

“Divide? They kill themselves?”

“What? Oh, no. Think of them like… you have slimes, right?” He’d yet to see one in person, but Niall had mentioned them so they were likely real here. An Alchemist Vital, who had presumably created life in some form or another, probably had lots of experience with them.

“Yes, what of them?”

“Well, a bacteria is kind of like a really, really small slime. So small and so simple that they can reproduce just by cutting themselves in half, more or less. There’s more to it than that, but that’s not relevant right now. Anyway, they’re so small that they’re basically invisible and live everywhere, but some kinds are harmful to humans- or other creatures- and the body tries to fight them off. That’s what a fever comes from.”

“So you claim that fever is caused by the body trying to fight off an attack by thousands of invisible slimes?”

“Ye- well, kind of. They’re really, really small, not invisible. You’d probably need a really powerful Skill to see them, or use a special tool.”

“So thousands of tiny slimes cause fever? Bah! Utterly ludicrous. You seem so genuine, too. You poor fool, being filled with all of these absurd lies. Worry not, I’ll ensure you get a proper education by the time I’m through with you.”

“Well, Alchemist Galen, if you don’t believe me, how do diseases work?”

“Simple! Thanks to the elemental nature of Attributes, a misbalanced Attribute can disrupt the surroundings of the individual, and cause a cascade of Attribute unbalance in their surroundings. When in an unbalanced situation, the body will mimic their surroundings, causing their own Attributes to unbalance and further spreading the disease”

“That…” Edwin sighed, “Well, it’s better than ‘miasma.’ Well, no. So what happens is that bacteria- the tiny slimes- will breed in their hosts, and then spread on contact, or when they cough, or go to the bathroom, or somehow. Fortunately, most diseases can’t jump species, so… huh. How does the Attribute theory account for different species not crossing diseases?”

“Avior, humans, gnomes, and more all have different balances for their Attributes, naturally. What would affect one might be completely normal for another.”

“So then, why doesn’t proximity with someone possessing a different Attribute balance cause them to get sick?” Edwin prodded.

“For the same reason that merely being in proximity with another will not spread disease, despite every individual having a slightly unique balance of Attributes. Unless the body is ailing, it will not taint its surroundings. However, tainted surroundings can still exist separate from an ailing individual, and that is where the disease first comes from.”

“That’s… that’s not how it works, though. And by that logic, what about individuals with really high Attributes? Shouldn’t someone with the Health attribute but not Stamina or Perception then always have a fever?”

“It is the gift of the System that such bestowals strengthen, but do not disrupt, the balance of Attributes within us.”

“So what, your explanation for how come the one time you can actually measure the supposed ‘balance of Attributes’ within someone doesn’t correlate to the afflictions which supposedly come from those Attributes is just ‘a wizard did it?’ That’s not how science works!”

“What do you mean by ‘an adventurer-mage did it?’ I do not understand the phrase.”

“Adventurer-mage? Oh, right. Wizard. Basically, you just wave your hands and say it’s magic when your theory doesn’t hold up.”

“The System would not irrevocably harm an individual. This is simply common knowledge.”

Edwin rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Look, I know that you have tremendous respect for whoever came up with this theory, but surely you can see it’s complete nonsense?”

“I am the one speaking nonsense? Bah! You are the one who comes in and start to speak of invisible slimes living within us. Indeed, what is your explanation for why not all diseases affect avior and humans alike, if not for the Attribute difference between them?”

“Simple. Not all bacteria- slimes- are equally harmful to all kinds of life.”

“So what? These things simply live within us and do no harm?”

“Yeah, actually,” Edwin shrugged.

“Preposterous! You’re lucky I don’t throw you out right here and now!”

“What for?” Edwin protested.

“For flagrantly disrespecting me, my predecessors, and my entire profession!”

“What, for daring to question it?”

“Yes!”

“But how else are you supposed to learn?”

“You ask questions, you do not question!”

“I’ll pretend that made more sense pre-Polyglot,” Edwin muttered, “Then how are you supposed to learn, if not by being asked questions you don’t know the answer to?”

“I do know the answer! You simply refuse to accept it!”

“Yeah, because it’s not the right answer!”

“Oh, so you know more than I and all of those who came before? A thousand years of knowledge?”

“Yes!” Edwin shouted, successfully shutting up the alchemist.

“I will not be spoken to in such a manner!” Galen shouted back over him.

Edwin paused to catch his breath and continued with a more sedate tone, “Besides, you don’t have a thousand years of learning that you’re falling back on. You just have one guy from a thousand years ago who came up with an idea and a thousand years of people then copying him. If anything, your healing is a thousand years behind where it should be.”

“Get out of my room.”

“What, because you refuse to listen?”

“Because you refuse to listen! Such impertinent youth. Know your place!”

“I do!”

“Yet you continue to challenge your elders!”

“That is my place!”

Both lapsed back into silence for a moment, staring the other down.

Edwin thought for a moment, “What if I prove it for you?”

“Prove what? The existence of these tiny slimes?”

Edwin’s resolve set, “Yeah. I bet you that I can prove they exist.”

“And how do you intend to do that? Are they not invisible?”

“Individually, sure. But I can either make something that would let you see that small, or get so many of them in one place you can see them yourself.”

“And how” Galen scoffed, mind racing, “Do you intend to do that?”

“You’ll see,” Edwin replied, mind racing, “You’ll see.”