Invasion of the Diaper Elves: The Librarian (Patreon)

Rain beat gently against the roof. Lucy set her steaming cup of tea down on the coffee table to steep. It had been a long day, and she was thrilled to be able to curl up on the couch with a good book after spending most of the day manning the help desk at the library. Some would consider reading after working at the library to be a little redundant, but curling up and reading a Discworld novel is very different than helping people sign in to the computers or getting the printer working. When she had gotten her degree in Library Science, she had expected books to play a bigger role in her work, but modern libraries were being forced to phase out the whole 'book' paradigm in favor of being free cyber cafes. Her job didn't involve baking scones or pouring coffee, but she knew that couldn't be far behind. Lucy had become a librarian due to her love of reading, and it seemed a cruel irony that her job now left her so little time in which to do so.

She shook her head to clear out the thoughts of work. It was a lovely evening, and she wanted to savor it. She took a sip of chamomile and opened “Going Postal” to the page she had bookmarked the previous evening. Her bookmark had Legolas on one side and Gimli on the other, both pockmarked and faded from long use. She stopped for a moment to savor the gentle rhythm of the rain against the roof. She had always loved the rain, although she preferred to love it from indoors. She had a window open a crack in her bedroom, to allow a hint of the ozone scent to waft into the house. She breathed in sharply as she began to read.

The book absorbed her quickly, despite the fact that she had already read it twice. Pratchett was one of her favorite authors. She was so focused on the conversation between Moist von Lipwig and Lord Vetinari, she didn't notice the sound of her bedroom window sliding gently open. Her revery wasn't broken until she was forced to shift positions to get her fleece comforter around herself more tightly. She frowned and set the book down on the coffee table, replacing her bookmark without consciously choosing to do so. The room was cold all of the sudden, and the smell of the rain in the small house was stronger. She wondered if the door had blown open, as it sometimes did, giving her an awful start each time. But it was closed tight. She heard a drawer slide open in her bedroom. Someone was in there.

To her own surprise, she found that she wasn't frightened. The neighborhood she lived in was safe, bordering on dull. The idea that someone might slip into her bedroom looking to steal from her or harm her seemed remote, even with the sounds she heard clearly indicating that.

Faced with an uncanny and unanticipated situation, Lucy considered what to do. She considered calling the police, but that usually ended in disappointment in all the stories she had ever read. In most stories, the police would arrive, see that whatever had prompted the call had mysteriously vanished, mock the terrified protagonist, then leave. She chided herself for trying to apply the logic of stories to her actual life, but the trouble was, she knew well that people who called the police in real life often ended up regretting it as well. She thought that perhaps she would at least make sure it wasn't just a raccoon or something before resorting to anything drastic.

She lay aside her comforter and crept to her bedroom door. Holding her breath, she pressed her ear against it. It was nothing more than two thin sheets of particle board, so it barely impeded sound at all. She heard voices whispering to each other in the darkness.

“...sure this is okay? I feel like I'm a...burglar or something.” whispered a faint voice. It sounded like a shy woman a little younger than Lucy herself.

“That is technically what you are. You'll have to learn to overcome those feelings. This is just how we survive now. If we can find some without bothering the resident, we get the most efficient harvest.” The second voice was pleasant, but stern. It made Lucy think of some of her more likable teachers from college. The voice was that of a woman in her mid-twenties, but the tone was that of an instructor addressing a student. Lucy pressed herself harder against the door. Efficient harvest? That didn't sound like something a burglar would say. It didn't like something anyone would say, at least not in a stranger's bedroom at night.

“Yeah, but that's only happened, like, twice in my whole career. Personally, I think it'd be more 'efficient' to just skip this part and make our presence known right away.” said a third voice. Again, the voice was that of a fairly young woman, but the tone was one of boredom and impatience. She sounded like a spoiled child complaining from the back seat of her parent's car.

“You can make that determination during your own excursions.” said the teacherly voice. “But I'm in charge of this one, and she'll learn to do things by the book if I have anything to say about it.”

“Honestly, I'm with her. Couldn't we just knock on the front door and ask if they have any licorice?” asked the shy voice.

“You read the contract, so I'm sure you already know the answer to that.” said the teacherly voice. “Besides, we aren't trick-or-treaters.”

“Yeah, we all read the contract.” said the impatient voice. Lucy had no clue what contract they were talking about, but she immediately suspected that at least one person in there had not, in fact, read it. “so there's no need for you to come along! We're all perfectly informed and in no need of your interference.”

“Even assuming, generously I might add, that that is the case, you and your usual compatriot are too careless. She needs practical instruction. Reading the procedure is not equivalent to executed it correctly. For instance, I believe you were instructed to maintain an open consciousness channel during the initial search phase?”

“Stretch out with your feeelings!” said the impatient voice. Lucy didn't actually hear her waggle her fingers to accompany her quotation, but she had a good imagination for such things.

“I heard her. Anyway, she's just reading in the nex...oh...Oh!” the shy voice was sounding less shy and more surprised now, as though she had just noticed something that should have been obvious. Lucy was trying to categorize what she was hearing in some reasonable way, so much so that she missed the implications.

“Yes. You allowed your mind to focus too heavily on the search. It is essential to stay mentally relaxed while on assignment, so that you do not miss important developments.”

“Such as the person listening to us through the door.” finished the impatient voice.

Lucy jumped. She didn't know whether to scream or run away, and her attempt to combine the two approaches only resulted in her falling backward onto her ass and emitting a sound that was somewhere between a squeal and a shriek.

The door slid open, despite the fact that the knob had not turned. What emerged was so surprising that Lucy completely forgot the part about being afraid.

The woman was indeed just a little younger than Lucy herself. She had pointed ears and eyes of a very extreme shade of blue. On her head was a yellow top hat with a pink ribbon. She wore a yellow dinner jacket with a pink bowtie and two tails trailing behind her. Her feet hovered above the ground. Despite all this, two details immediately made the visitor seem utterly non-threatening. One was the look of confusion and embarrassment on her face, as though she were genuinely sorry for intruding and was just about leave. The other was the thick disposable diaper that the visitor wore in leau of pants. Suddenly, Lucy was more tempted to laugh out loud than try to flee.

“Oh! Sorry, should have said something when I arrived...um, hello?”

She turned to her companions, who were crowding into the doorway behind her. All three of them were alike, in that they were beautiful, hovering, and diapered. One was blonde and dressed in a crisp parade uniform of brilliant white with gold buttons and epaulets. The other was brunette and wore a pink cowgirl costume, like something a five-year-old might wear for Halloween. The look of bored indifference on her face suggested that she was the source of the impatient voice The one with the yellow top hat was looking to the one in the white jacket, seemingly at a loss for words.

The one in the white jacket crossed her arms. The serious look in her eyes suggested that she was the source of the teacherly voice, even before she confirmed the same by speaking. “this is your show now, dear. I shall merely observe and instruct only as needed.”

“..meh meh meh obserb an intwuckt as meh meh.” said the one with cowgirl hat, imitating her companion. Lucy got the impression that she was annoyed at the other figure's presence.

The one with the yellow top hat turned back to Lucy and drew in air sharply through her nose.

“Hello.” she said with forced pleasantness, as though answering the phone at work. “By any chance, would you happen to have some black licorice we could borrow? I mean, not literally borrow. More...sort of just have, I guess.”

Lucy slowly stood up and dusted herself off, never taking her eyes off the strange apparitions. “...cool, cool...could I just ask a few questions?”

“I, uh, guess you would have a few at this point. Go ahead.” said the one with the yellow top hat. The one with the cowgirl hat rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath. The one in the white jack elbowed her pointedly.

“You guys came in through the window, right?” she asked.

The one with the yellow top hat looked surprised. “Uh huh.”

“Why aren't you wet?”

The one with the cowgirl hat snorted.

The one in the yellow top hat giggled. “Really? That's the part you're curious about? Not the floating, or the ears, or the licorice?”

“Or the diapers?” said Lucy. “I was gonna get to that! One thing at a time. Just start by explaining why you're not wet.”

The one with the yellow top hat had to think about it for a second. She obviously hadn't given the matter any thought before. “Because we're supernatural beings! We're not bound by the laws of the physical universe! I can float through the air, I can sense your thoughts, I can move things with my will! Basically, nothing works on us unless we want it to. The rain just moves out of our way.”

Lucy nodded. She had more or less guessed all of this, but it was nice to have it confirmed. Even more, the woman seemed to be opening up as she spoke, losing some of the hesitation and awkwardness that had been evident in her voice fro the start. Lucy could tell that this woman was unaccustomed to her current position. She recognized the dynamic of experienced workers looking over the shoulder of a newbie. She had been in both positions more than once.

Now that her fear of these strange beings was dissipating, Lucy was left with a fierce, burning excitement. She was actually getting the chance to encounter people with supernatural powers. Here was proof of the existence of magic, of a higher order of existence bleeding into the human realm! She had to force herself not to try asking every question she had at once. She peppered the top-hatted apparition with question after question. The one with the yellow top hat did her best to answer the questions, but it was clear that she was out of her depth.

“What are you guys called?”

“Y'know, I haven't been able to get a straight answer on that. We're just...us.”

“Where do your powers come from?

“Again, I really don't know. I think they just exist because they can.”

“Huh. So like everything else, then. I don't want to sound mean, but I get the impression that you're kinda new at this. Am I right?”

The one with the yellow top hat signed. Her two companions nodded enthusiastically. “Is it that obvious?”

“Only kinda. Did you used to be human?”

“Yeah. I think I still am, mostly. I signed up for this a few weeks ago. This is my first field assignment.”

“Well, what were you before?”

She shrugged. “A regular person, like you. Unemployed. Speech difficulties. I'd really rather not talk about it.”

“Okay, no problem. Why do you want licorice?

“It's basically the only food that actually sustains us. Plus, eating it is, like, a religious experience for us! Although we have to get it in this really specific way, or it doesn't do anything.”

“That's...kinda random.” pointed out Lucy. Her three visitors nodded as though to say: “Yeah. Whacha gonna do?”

“Sooo...what's with the diapers?”

“I'm not sure what the whole deal is on that, but they're awesome! Seriously, I am orgasming as we speak here! It took me a couple weeks just to be able to think through all the constant pleasure! It's really kinda crazy, but I can't exactly complain.”

Lucy eyebrows shot up. “Wow. Okay. That doesn't sound too bad. Are you...incontinent?”

Again, the one with the yellow top hat seemed thrown off by the question. “I never really thought about that. I'm just...in diapers now. I pretty much just go whenever. I still  have control. I think.”

Lucy nodded. As she spoke, the one with the yellow top hat seemed to grow in confidence. Lucy noticed that the two more experienced women behind her seemed pleased with her progress. Although her answers were mostly vague, Lucy was beginning to piece together a picture of what she was dealing with. She felt confident enough to ask a slightly more meaty question.

“Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but...are you guys good, or evil, or what?”

The one with the yellow top hat seemed to consider the question seriously. “Ehhh...I'd have to go with 'or what'. I mean, most of us try not to be jerks about it, but it's pretty clear that whatever set all this up wasn't that interested in helping people. We're basically just trying to do the best we can with the hand we've been dealt.”

“Well, that sounds basically like 'good'.” said Lucy.

“Sweet of you to say, but you don't know the whole story yet.” said Lucy. She seemed bothered by something, but Lucy decided not to pursue that line of inquiry.

“How about your name? What should I call you?” she asked.

The one with the yellow top hat winced a little. “I...don't actually know. None of us actually have names. It's one of the things you have to give up to become what we are.”

Lucy's forehead knitted together with concern. “What? That's terrible! Names are really important! They're like...mystical.”

The one with the yellow top hat nodded. “Yeah, I think that's why we lose them. To fuel the transition. Don't feel too sorry for me, though. I am immortal, after all.”

Lucy was impressed by the “immortal” part, but she was still not willing to let it go. “Well, you ought to have a name, anyway. I'll just make one up. You can be...uh...hmm...you could be...damn! Why isn't this working?”

“Yeah, don't bother.” said the one with the cowgirl hat.

“We would have done that long ago if we could.” said the one in the white jacket.

The one with the yellow top hat smiled. “Well, it was nice of you to try. You seem like a good person. I hope you have some black licorice, so I can give you some nice gifts!”

Lucy smiled nervously. “So...let's say...hypothetically speaking...that I don't have any licorice. Like, any whatsoever. Would that be bad?”

The one with the yellow top hat winced a little. “...only sorta. Remember what I said about 'the whole story'? See, we aren't allowed to just leave empty-handed. If you don't have any black licorice, we have to sustain ourselves...the other way.”

The way she had said this, Lucy knew she ought to terrified, but she was just too curious. “Wh-what other way?”

The diaper the one with the yellow top hat wore began to shine with a fierce blue light. Lucy felt the light slide into her thoughts, freezing everything in place. She couldn't run away. She couldn't even think about running away. She was completely under her strange visitor's power. All she felt was a sense of utter calm.

“It would probably be easier to show than to tell. I've actually thought a lot about what to do in this situation. See, we have some leeway with how we deal with people who don't have licorice. There's a lot of restrictions, but I really like you, so I think I can work out a good compromise. Sort of a...funishment, if you will.”

Lucy felt her head nod up and down. Her visitor's voice was no longer the least bit shy or faint. It was still friendly, but it reverberated with unshakable confidence and power. It was a voice made for issuing commands, for making proclamations. Lucy didn't really understand what was happening. She only knew that she was powerless to fight it.

“Ooh, ohh! I've always wanted to try this!” the one with the yellow top hat cleared her throat. Then she raised her hands and waggled her fingers. “You are getting sleeeeepy. Veeerrry sleeepy!”

Lucy felt her mind fuzz over. Her shoulders slumped, and her eyelids drooped. She was suddenly very sleepy, too sleepy even to groan.

The one with the yellow top hat took her by the wrist. “Come on, let's get you ready for bed, and I'll tell you all about how things are going to be from now on.”

With her eyes at half-mast, Lucy felt herself being led through her own home. The one with the yellow top hat look her to the bathroom to brush her teeth, all the while telling her about the wonderful things that awaited her.

“Well, first of all, you're gonna be a Bedwetter now. Sorry, but I just couldn't find a way around it. You'll have to wear something a little thicker during the day, too, just in case. It'll pass after a while, but I had to stretch it out to make it count. Lower the severity, increase the duration, total remains the same. It was either this or dealing with poopy diapers, which would have been fun, but really disruptive to your daily life. C'mon, let me show you your room.”

Lucy felt herself being led back to her bedroom. She would have been shocked if she were still capable of shock. Her forest-green bedspread with little pine trees was now pastel blue, and decorated with the characters from Disney's Frozen. Above her bed was a large landscape from the film “The Fellowship of the Ring”, although for some reason, the mountains around the mines of Moria had a lot more waterfalls now than they had before. Her pillows were noticeably larger and pinker, and a stuffed orangutan had joined them. The one with the yellow top hat directed her attention to the wall, where her replica Arwen sword was now joined by a small calendar. It was labeled “Lucy's Bedwetting Chart”. All the days so far were marked with little yellow faces with upside-down smiles.

“See? You've been dry all month so far, but I think you're about to turn that losing streak around! Be sure to keep your chart updated!” she said. The words stamped themselves indelibly into Lucy's mind. She could not argue even if she wished to. She was simply being told the absolute truth.

She sat Lucy down on the bed and began undressing her, telling her to lift her legs or her butt as needed. Lucy complied calmly as her panties were gently pulled down her legs. The one in the white jacket opened the top drawer of her dresser and handed something large and square to the one with the yellow top hat. It was a thick, glossy adult diaper, decorated with little decals of rainclouds. She continued to speak in a gentle voice as she unfurled the large diaper.

“These are your Bedwetter Pants. These are what you'll wear for bedtime from now on. They're nice and thick, so you won't have to worry about your mattress. Lift up now.”

Lucy lifted her bare butt to allow the diaper to slide under her. She settled into the fluffy padding..

“You'll love your Bedwetter Pants. Just the thing to collapse into after a hard day. Once these are on, you don't need to worry about anything. You can just relax and sleep soundly, knowing that when  you pee yourself, your Bedwetter Pants will be ready to absorb it all.”

Lucy heard the crinkle of tapes as her diaper was secured around her waist. Unconsciously, she squeezed her legs together, feeling how the thick diaper forced her thighs apart.

“There. You should feel proud, knowing that you're wearing your Bedwetter Pants like a good girl. Now, its time for your jammies.”

Lucy had never seen the footie pajamas before, but she could do nothing but step into them when ordered. They were of light purple fleece, and had a picture of Mulan across the belly. The one in the yellow top hat ran the zip from the base of her spine up to the back of her neck, then gave her butt an affectionate pat.

“Beddie-bye time now.”

The one with the cowgirl hat pulled aside the thick fleece blankets and patted the mattress with a mischievous smile, while the one in the white jacket looked on approvingly. The one with the yellow top hat guided Lucy over and tucked her snugly into bed.

“Good night. Now, I haven't even told you the best part about your new life. Every night, while you're tucked away in your soft blankets and your Bedwetter Pants, you're going top have dreams. Long, intense, vivid dreams. Diaper Dreams. Dreams all about diapers. Seeing them, and wearing them, and being seen wearing them. All your dreams are going to chock full off diapers. Just like this one.”

The one with the yellow top hot floated over Lucy, and turned around in mid-air, displaying her thickly padded rear. Lucy could do nothing as the eerie bluish glow intensified. She felt herself sink into the warm blankets as her visitor's padded rear pressed against her face.

“Lucy Strauss, please step forward!”

Lucy smiled, adjusted the tassel on her cap, and approached the podium. After so many years of hard work and study, she was finally going to get her degree. From this day forward, she could officially call herself a Librarian. The crowd cheered as she stepped up to accept her diploma. Their cheers sound like rain beating against a roof. She wasn't bothered at all to see that the woman handing the little scroll to her was wearing a pink cowgirl hat.

“Here you go sweetheart! You've earned it!” she said as she handed Lucy the scroll. She took the scroll daintily, held it above her head, and beamed a big smile. Her mother, seated in the front row, was taking pictures, and Lucy wanted her to get a good shot. She noticed two women seated next to her mother, chatting to each other as they clapped.

“This is hardly the most efficient collection method. We'll barely get anything for this.” said a blonde woman in a neatly-pressed white jacket. Despite her words, she didn't sound disapproving.

“I know, but c'mon, there are plenty of jerks out there we can squeeze for everything they have.” said another woman in a yellow top hat. “Besides, this does have advantages.”

The woman in the the pink cowgirl hat sniffed the air. “What is that smell?” she asked, affecting great disgust. Lucy stopped smiling and looked around, suddenly worried.

Without warning, the woman grabbed Lucy's robe, which fell away with a single smooth motion. Underneath, Lucy was wearing nothing but a ludicrously oversized pair of huggies. They sagged from the heavy load in the rear. Lucy's face turned bright red.

“Oh my gawd! You pooped in your diapers! You were trying to graduate and you're not even a big girl!”

Lucy turned and tried to flee, but her enormous diaper wouldn't allow her to run. She felt her feet sink into the floor as she struggled desperately to escape the laughing, jeering crowd.

“Oh no you don't! Get back here! You are getting a diaper change little missy!” said the woman in the pink cowgirl hat. She dragged Lucy back to the podium, which now bore an uncanny resemblance to a giant changing table.

“Excuse me!” said her mother, rising from her seat. “If anyone is going to change that diaper, it's going to be me!”

She hefted a diaper bag over her shoulder. It was labeled “Baby Lucy's Diaper Bag” in big multi-colored letters. Lucy felt her face blaze as she struggled to escape, but she soon found herself lying helplessly on the changing table. Her mother stood over her, and began fishing through her diaper bag.

“Hold still sweetheart! We've got powder! We have lotion...hmm...where are the wipes?”

Instantly, the woman with the pink cowgirl hat was above her, sporting a wide grin. She handed her diploma to her mother. “Here, just use this! Only girls who are potty-trained get diplomas anyway!”

“Oh, thank you!” said her mother, taking the scroll gratefully. “You're right, it was silly of little Lucy to think she could go to college with the big girls, wasn't it?”

Lucy tried to scream as her mother prepared to crack open the tapes on her diaper, but no sound came out.

Lucy sat at the Library help desk, feeling bored, as usual. She looked out the massive bay windows that illuminated the second floor of the library. It was raining now, and she could see the clouds drift past from her place behind the desk. She wondered how long it would be before another patron came by asking where the bathrooms were or complaining that the printer wasn't working...yet again.

“Excuse me?” said a pretty blonde woman a little older than herself. She was wearing a pristine white parade uniform. Lucy forced herself to adopt her 'customer service' demeanor.

“How can I help you?”

“I've looked all over and I can't seem to find something. Could you help me?”

Lucy's smile subtly shifted from performative to genuine. Helping people find books was much closer to her actual job than she usually came. “Well, we don't have everything here, but I can certainly try. What are you looking for?”

“Well, I really like these one's with spaceships, but my butt is getting too big for them.” Lucy's face reddened as the woman undid the fly of her jeans, revealing a diaper that was clearly too big to be concealed by them. Sure enough, it was decorated with little space-ship decals. “Do they come in a larger size?”

Lucy was flustered. “I...I uh...huh?”

Lucy reexamined her surroundings. The shelves that surrounded her were not full of books. They were full of diapers. Thousands upon thousands of diapers, in all sizes, colors, thicknesses, and designs.

And she knew exactly where they all were. She smiled. She was the Diaper Librarian.

She grabbed the woman's arm and led her toward the correct aisle. “Space-ships you say? No problem! Just got a fresh shipment in last week. Do you know what size you wear?”

“I...I'm not sure.” said the woman nervously.

“Not a problem. We have a butt-measuring device right over here!” said Lucy proudly.

For the rest of the night, Lucy walked up and down the aisles, eagerly serving each patron who entered.

“Excuse me, do you have any dinosaur diapers that don't have any T-rexes on them?” asked a middle-aged woman with pearls around her neck.

“Of course! Right this way, ma'am!”

“Do you have anything with Batman?” asked a man in his late twenties.

“Silver Age or Bronze Age?”

“I'm looking for something peach-colored with extra-large ruffles.” said a woman with a yellow top hat.

“Third Floor, all the way in the back.”

“Pardon me, could you tell me where the bathroom is?” asked a woman with brown hair and a pink cowgirl hat.

Lucy giggled and pointed to her thickly padded rear. “Well, mine is right here!”

Lucy felt herself crumble to the earth. It was just impossible to go on. They were so close to Mount Doom now. Even with the rain pouring down around them, the air was warm and smelt of sulfur.

“Come on, Miss Lucy!” said her companion. Lucy couldn't recall the short, barefoot woman's name. “It's right there! Just a few more steps, and we can be rid of it forever!”

“I can't!” wept Lucy bitterly. “It's too much for me! It's too wet, and too full! I'll never be able to get it up the slope!”

She companion smiled bravely. “I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you! Come on!”

She hefted Lucy onto her shoulders. With slow, agonizing steps, she began climbing up the long slope toward the crack of doom. Lucy's soggy diaper pressed down around her companion's shoulders. With each step, she felt the pressure against her vagina.

“We're getting there! We're gonna make it!” she shouted over the rumble of the volcano and the sound of the rain. The yellow top hat she had been wearing blew away in the breeze. She began to run faster. Lucy felt herself heat up as the pace accelerated. She began grinding against her companion's shoulders as the pleasure began to build. She felt the heat of the mountain wash over her as the hot, mushy feeling grew more and more intense, until...

Lucy shook herself awake. It was morning, and through her window, she could see light streaming down through the remains of the clouds. She stretched contentedly and rose from her comfy bed. Her fleece-covered feet sank into the carpet. She felt her crotch, knowing full well that her Bedwetter Pants were soaked. Still, no leaks. The one with the yellow top hat had spoken the truth. She went to her dresser and opened her underwear drawer. On the right-hand side were her Bedwetter Pants, ready for many more nights like the last one. On the right, were a collection of her new daytime underwear: thick pull-ups with little suns on them. This reminded her of her Bedwetting Chart. She dutifully took a sticker from the sticker book and placed it on today's date. The sticker was a little raincloud, with a beaming smile on its little cartoon face. The sticker book had only those stickers, enough to last her many months. She knew that she wouldn't have a dry morning for quite some time.

She got dressed in her usual outfit, made breakfast, and got ready to take the bus to work, all the while wondering what her dreams would be like tomorrow night.