Danni Ditchwater the Horny Hillbilly (Patreon)

southern cousin from TV shows. Horny, rowdy, messy, busty and strong as hell.

She’s a super fun character, but I always have a good time writing with accents. Honeybunny and the girls of Goblin Swamp were definitely big examples. I just love a gal who’s sweet, strong and dumb. I fought back a lot of urges to give her blind bangs but massively curly hair can fall into that shape here and there.

I actually had some relatives in Louisiana I visited in my teens. Nothing too exciting beyond my learning that I really can’t stand heavy heat and spent a lot of time sitting directly in front of an industrial fan. And of course, nothing as crazy or sexy as anything that happened here. Though we did meet some young relatives who my mom had to explain what snow was.

I had always heard from my parents that she had relatives in the deep south, but I had never really looked into it. Mom didn’t have an accent or anything but talked fondly of times visiting her sisters down there when she was younger. It was just some of her nostalgia and old photos so it didn’t feel like something that would affect me.

I was on a break from college with a couple weeks of summer vacation left when mom sent me that fateful text. She needed me to do a favor and pick up some heirlooms from her great aunt and she couldn’t get off work. She paid me for the gas and everything, so I figured why not. All I had to do was meet up with some cousin named Dan and pick them up.

It was a dull couple of days driving down to Mississippi. Honestly, it was a nice part of the country for a while. As I closed in on my relative’s place, I seemed to cross some subtle and unmarked line. I started to see more trailers and houses that were little more than overgrown shacks. Grass grew wilder and thicker until I could barely tell where their lawns began.

I double checked my destination before heading down the progressively dirt road.

I finally reached a small farm, and even that felt generous . It was just a large field with some rundown barns, broken fences, and animals too lazy to leave the easy meal behind. My phone struggled to hold onto a signal as I pulled up the dirt driveway.

“Well howwwwdy, cuz! How y’all doin’!?”

Cousin Danni was not what I expected, but I still felt dumb for being surprised. She was a tall tomboy, standing around 6’4” barefoot with big, always excited eyes. She wore a bandana around her neck with a mess of curly blonde hair that frizzed out as it may in the humid weather. She had many dark freckles across her button nose and unevenly tanned skin, and her smile was wide with an easily visible gap between her front teeth. She had a skinny kind of muscle to her; defined and athletic but nothing especially bulky. The real mass was around her hips and chest; perky bowling ball tits and a round set of hips over her thick thighs were packed tightly into some daisy duke cutoffs and a barely buttoned flannel shirt tied off above her toned waist.

Danni came striding off the porch, waving high over her head with a dopey grin on her face. I waved back, but as soon as she reached me she grabbed me by the shoulders. It was kind of concerning how easily she tilted me around to get a better look at me.

“Lookit you! Pa was talkin’ ‘bout you comin’ down ta visit! Ain’t you the cutest little city cousin?!”

Danni got me in a bear hug. It lifted me off the ground and into her freckled cleavage. I felt a few vertebrae pop as her slim but strong arms squeezed me tight. She obviously didn’t spend all her time lazing around the farm. The taller girl nuzzled my hair and took a sniff.

“Even got that clean city boy smell. Whatya use fer that?”

“Uh… shampoo?” I guessed, never one to check the labels too closely.

“Really? Fannnnncy!”

It did highlight my messy cousin’s overly earthy aroma. She smelled like dirt and dry sweat with a dash of something that could be the farm animals or some worrying musk of her own emanating from her warm tits. I could only reposition myself so that my awkward erection didn’t rub up against my big lanky cousin.

“Well welcome to Ditchwater farms! One of the nicest places you’ll ever see! Lemme show ya around!”

I decided to go along with the tour. I drove days to get down here, and I never turned down a chance to stretch my legs along the way. Plus showing up and just leaving seemed rude as hell to a family member, even if she was a distant relative that I’d never met in my life. Besides, her confident strides and swaying hips made for a tempting sight. It was distracting enough that I didn’t notice what I was stepping in until my shoe sank in a few centimeters. I let out a concerned little groan at what I hoped was mud.

“You get used to spottin’ those,” Danni explained without even looking back past her tangled mass of hair.

“‘Course, daddy just got used to stompin’ through ‘em, so it’s one or th’other I ‘spose.”

There wasn’t a lot to see on the farm. Just a lot of walking. She pointed out the straying cows, horses, chickens and pigs and the small section of potato and pumpkin crops. They had a moonshine still that looked leaky if not prone to explode, and my uncle “pa” was snoring loudly in an afternoon nap back in the house. Some swampy woods covered the back of their land, which she assured kept most of their livestock in check. She finally circled back to the rundown, two-story red barn.

“And this here’s the farmhouse! Ain’t much but it’ll keep the rain off ya and ain’t a bad place ta catch a nap.”

I nodded politely.

“I see. Though the animals don’t seem to care for it.”

“Oh they use it sometimes. I’m in there more than they are anyway. The hay’s all dry and nice up there in the loft. I must sleep up there more than I done dang did in my own bed!”

So she wasn’t talking about the animals using it after all…

“That’s… great. Is this where you have those heirlooms mom wanted?” I asked, trying to steer the conversation towards the reason I’d come over in the first place.

“Ohhh them thingies? We had a little mixup on that part. Somebody told her Danny with a Y had ‘em, but then somebody thought she meant Danni me. That’s with an I… I think,” she trailed off, tonguing the gap in her teeth.

“Anyhow, you’ll get to stay with us for a couple nights ‘til he can come over! Your ma said it wouldn’t be no trouble since you got yer vacation and all.

C’mon! Lemme show ya the inside!”

I was a little annoyed to hear it but I followed her anyway. It was about as empty and crummy on the inside as the outside. A few farming tools and supplies were recklessly stashed in one corner. The bales of hay were at least fresh enough to be less moldy than the wood. In the open air just beyond, there was a muddy pen fenced in with some sloppily constructed posts. She waved me over as she leaned over the posts, making her cutoffs hug her juicy ass and ride up her freckled thighs. Her intense curves and boundless, puppy-like glee interested me enough to follow.

“And that there’s the mudhole,” she explained, gesturing proudly at the empty patch of ground about an inch deep.

“Impressive. Is that where you keep the pigs then?”

“Naw! They figured out how to get outta there long time’go. I just use it fer fun.”

I didn’t have time to ask before she clapped me on the back. She pushed with the same gesture, sending me toppling over the fence I was leaning up against. I crashed through it and went head over heels into the mud, splashed up around me and sticking to my skin and clothes. Danni gave a goofy, chesty laugh at my confused spitting and thrashing as she stepped over and sat on part of the fence.

“What was that for!?” I sputtered as I pushed myself up to a sitting position.

“Thought you’d want a dip. Hard to imagine somebody who don’t like a good mud wrassle.”

Danni once again acted faster than I could think, since she didn’t seem like the type who thought at all in the first place. She braced her feet on the fence and jumped off, tackling me back into the mud as her body came splashing down on mine. My redneck cousin’s husky giggling was unimpeded while I struggled to escape. It was entirely fruitless between the slowing mud and the ridiculous strength of my cousin tossing me around like a gorilla with a ragdoll for a few minutes.

It was tough to even tell when I was upright. Her lifting me up by the underarms was finally a good hint as she got me in a full nelson. With her height advantage and my slouching posture, it had my head stuck between her muddy tits. They jiggled around me as her dopey laugh rang out, accented with a delighted snort.

“Pretty dern fun, huh?! I ain’t got ta wrestle anybody in a whiles now! All o’ the other boys got too old fer it or got whiny whenever I broke somethin’ o’ theirs.”

She swung me around with a quick shove, whipping me back into the mud. I landed with a choked grunt as I splashed down on my back. I looked up as she came flying down after me with an elbow drop, her weight and strength combined into one breathtaking landing. I could only cough as she flopped on top of me. Her breasts squashed into my chest as I saw under her bushy hair. Her face was oddly cute for the freckly, dirty mess it was, to say nothing of her sweaty smell washing over me and overpowering the mud. Her worn old flannel shirt was barely attached as it was, so one of her boobs had popped out in all her gleeful wrestling. She climbed and laid flat on top of me, grabbing my wrists and pinning me down with ease.

“Gotcha, cuz! Don’t they teach ya wrasslin’ at your fancy cityboy schoolin’?” she teased.

Danni bobbed back and forth in a giddy little victory dance at having me pinned down. She clearly didn’t mind the mud in her hair and on her clothes like I did, and she definitely didn’t care how her teasing made her half-exposed tits sway around in my face. The especially round udders bobbed around without so much as her shirt to keep them in check and clearly not one to bother with a bra. The dancing pattern of freckled and tanlined flesh had me staring up at her and realizing exactly how hard I was as her swaying hips rubbed against me. Whatever I felt personally about my dopey cousin, it was hard to argue with my erection when I was face to tits with the girl I’d only met today grinding up against me.

Danni leaned in closer, starting to whisper in my ear. My erection did its best to spring out through my pants without really caring what she was saying.

“1, 2, 3,” she hissed, whistling a bit through her tooth gap.

She crawled up higher on me, letting me breathe a little better as she got off my ribs and groin. My cock throbbed, missing her attention even as she sat with her crotch right in my face. Her strong country musk pushed through the smell of mud and animals, overpowering the rest and hijacking my brain into enjoying it. She stretched her arms out over her head with a stupidly content smile on her face. She made some minoreffort to tug up the shoulder of her top, which just slid back down uselessly to expose her tit again when she wiped some sweat from her brow with one powerful forearm.

“Hot daym! Reckon there’s nothin’ like a good roll in the hay to get yer blood pumpin’, huh?” Danni sighed contentedly.

“More like a roll in the mud,” I squeaked out beneath her.

She laughed another of her dopey laughs, squeezing her strong thighs around my cheeks and making it even harder to talk. Danni gave another gap-toothed grin as she stood back up. She grabbed my hand and pulled me up to my feet with her, staggering after her despite feeling completely beat thanks to her mighty tug.

“WELP! Let’s get you outta them dirty clothes, huh?”

“Gladly,” I sighed, grateful for my stocky cousin’s support.

She squeezed me by the shoulder and guided me back into the barn without tripping over the mud and fencing. Danni climbed onto a haystack and hoisted herself onto the upper hayloft with all the grace of a monkey. She squatted down holding out a hand for me. I still had no idea what was going on, but I reached for my shaggy-haired cousin. She easily grabbed a big hand around my forearm, hoisting me off the ground and up there with her.

It was all a bit of a blur over the last few minutes, getting used to being upright and not being crushed or squeezed at some angle by my brawny cousin. My head just started to clear and concede to the inevitable bruising when it actually hit me where we were. There was nothing up here to clean up with. There was a thick, dirty, beat up old blanket tossed out on the floor like bedding for a large dog.

“Danni… what were we doing again?”

“Just what I said! Gettin’ outta them dang dirty clothes.”

She pulled off and threw her muddy top away with a thick slapping sound as it hit the wood. She whistled through her gap as she did the same with her shorts, surprising me by wearing any underwear at all (even if they were a beat-up pair of panties with a few holes in them). She turned back and approached me, giving me a good look at her lean but heavily toned country muscle and the shaggy blonde bush that grew thick enough to poke out over the top of her panties.

“I keep a change’a clothes or two up here for shit like this. Never know when yer gonna hafta put some mouthy sucker or rowdy pig or a surprise visit from your prettyboy cityboy cousin!”

She made no move to get dressed. She just took my shirt and pulled it up over my head while I was blown away by the whole situation. I wasn’t here for half an hour before I saw my powerhouse country cousin nearly naked after she kicked my ass like it was nothing. She planted one of her big hands around my junk, squeezing it through my dirtied pants. It felt like I could cum right there from her strong grip just bluntly commanding it to leave my body. I just gulped and couldn’t bring myself to interrupt her.

“Don’t think I didn’t catch that back in the mess. You’re right purdy yerself… reckon you’ll be needin’ a milkin’, huh, stud?”

I nodded before I even fully registered what I wanted. Not that I disagreed afterward anyway.

“Attaboy!” she praised cheerfully.

She took me by the waist of my pants and lifted me off my feet by the armpit. She popped the button off rather than undoing it and forced them down to reveal my hard and ready dick. Danni’s freckled cheeks swelled in an eager grin as she moved me over and tossed me onto the overstuffed quilt. It was a rough landing but surprisingly soft on the beat up thing. It also clearly had plenty of years of use judging from the immediate wave of her sweat and other fluids I quickly smelled on it.

Danni mounted me on all fours, her palms sinking deep into the fabric. She licked her lips as she eyed me up so hungrily that her drool trickled down into my face. I gulped hard as my horny, secluded hillbilly cousin stirred up all kinds of fear and arousal in me like I’d never felt before.

I sided with arousal in the end because I leaned up and kissed her. She gave another husky giggle into my mouth before she leaned in herself, immediately overpowering and pinning me to the bedding. I ran my hands over her curves, drawing out more thirsty moans and making her writhe at the touch. She was clearly horny and desperate for this kind of attention, even if I was completely at the mercy of my mighty country cousin. Her dense body mashed down into me as she grabbed and ripped her beat-up old underwear off her hips. I could immediately feel the heat and sweaty fur of her pubic hair against my cock. The tickling friction was worth it as she devoured my mouth, forcing her tongue into my mouth and pulling on my hair to angle me to reach exactly how she wanted inside me. I squeezed her tits tightly from the sides, testing and confirming that she was completely uncaring about how rough I got. Considering she flirted by mud wrestling me, it was just how she liked it.

She broke away from my mouth with a dopey chuckle, grinning and licking her drooling lips again as her tongue flicked between her tooth gap. She battered her lashes at me beneath her curls that fell sloppily over her face, brushing them away to keep her gaze fixated on me.

“Y’all kiss real purdy,” she praised breathlessly before she saddled up on my shaft.

Danni’s knees planted on either side of my hips, latching on with her death gripping thighs. Her hips practically punched into mine as she popped my cock inside her like she was slamming a clip into a gun. The initial shock quickly faded as her tight pussy flexed around me. Danni bit her lip and shut her eyes for a moment, savoring it just as much as I was as she sat up. She looked so perfect riding me like a cowgirl with her arms folded together to rest on my chest. It made her biceps squeeze around her bowling ball boobs, making them bob up and down individually between them as she squirmed in delight. Her hard nipples stuck out, firmly erect and cutely small for her big tits like two especially large and pink freckles.

“Hoo doggy… more’a that, cuz!” she purred.

I couldn’t do much beneath her heavy and horny hips, but I thrust up as best as I could. I ran my hands up her solid arms and started massaging her breasts, rolling and pressing them around in my hands. We both obsessed with playing with their softness and tender tips, which made Danni start to bounce in place on top of me. Her tight pussy pulled on my cock with the same tight grip and power as the rest of her, but her intense wetness made it go smoother than her hands that were squeezing my sides. Her thick pubes tickled my crotch every time she pulled back, just to prep me for her next firm thrust down to swallow up my cock inside her.

Watching her muscles work and big tits bounce around in my hands more than made up for the powerful sweat she was working up and leaking over me. It even covered for her goofy grin the entire time she rode me dick, along with her nasally huffing and bouncing mass of curls. Even when she’d snort or grunt crudely like some kind of animal in heat. It was all starting to grow on me as my dopey country cousin was clearly dead-set on my finishing inside her.

“Mmm yea. Right there, cuz. Y’all’re strikin’ gold right there,” she groaned as if I had any control over what she was doing to me.

She just angled her hips as she pleased, doing anything to smash her clit into my cock rather than the other way around. It still felt incredible to feel all the power in her body centered around getting off on my dick. I watched as her jaw dropped in her quickly building ecstasy.

“Oh gawsh. Aw heck, stud… yes~! YES! YeeeeHAW!”

She arched her back, thrusting her tits into my hands until the big orbs spilled right out past them. They jiggled on their own as they flopped into my face following her collapse. I blindly sucked and kissed at the warm and sweaty flesh as her hips pumped like a piledriver. I could hear the wet slapping and sucking sounds as she squirted over me, cumming hard and messy as she humped me like a jackrabbit. Her eyes squeezed shut and she bit her lip, grunting hard with every vigorous pump of her hips. She slowed for one long, gyrating grind to rub around her pussy as a whole like she was wiping her mouth on me. Or perhaps grinding her scent into me as she rose up to a sitting position again like a hard-riding lapdance. It was such a shockingly hot sight I couldn’t help but shake, pushing back deep into her one more time and cumming hard myself.

Danni had gotten over the worst of her own orgasm by then, beaming down at me as she kept slowly rolling her hips. She pushed some her drooping, sweaty curls from her face as she winked down at me.

“Dang, son. You plugged me up better’n a squirrel inna storm drain. Betcha them scrawny city girls don’t do it like that, now do they, cuz?”

“Nuh uh,” I babbled with a shake of my head.

Danni ran a finger over her pussy while I was still inside her. She swept up some of my cum (mixed with her own at this point) and sucked it off her finger with that cutely dumb grin on her face.

“Well us family gotta treat each other right, after all. And I’ma teach’a how’da ride by the time yer outta here, I tell ya what.”

I remembered what she’d said about staying for a few days. Danni was a lot in the first hour I’d met her. The lax farm didn’t seem to keep her very busy, considering she dropped all of it to grab, wrestle and fuck me. Her dad seemed just as lazy in letting her do as she pleased, though I was feeling pretty exhausted myself after some rough country lovin’ in this southern heat. And that was all to say nothing of if Danni had a mom or sister around who were half as thirsty as she was. I could tell it was going to be a rough and very busy visit…

“Sounds perfect,” I sighed listlessly, surrendering to my country cousin’s whims at this point.