Caption Pic: Bessie-Mae's Ranch (Patreon)

Literally just thought I haven't done one of these in ages. I went scrounging through my recent saved pics and found one that stuck. Big slab of a sloppy farm gal welcoming a duped new employee and laying her flirting on thick. I just love a big dumb happy gal in general!

The text alone's below as usual.

“Sheeit. Y’all’re that city boy, aintcha? Figured as much. You’re lookin’ cleaner’n a preacherman’s whistle. What with yer combed hair and fancy britches and shoes an’ all.

Anyhoo, welcome to the ranch! I’m Bessie-Mae. Don’t mind me. Tryin’ not ta wake up Penelope here. Papa’s away on business ‘er somethin’ so me and mah sis’ got a little wild on the moonshine last night. Woke up with a headache like I went tradin’ headbutts with a bull all day. You must be here for tha job daddy was talkin’ about.

Agrica-what? Boy, we ain’t got magic out’n these parts. This here’s clean country livin’. Don’t kow what pa told ya but we been needin’ another ranch hand out here to help us with the milkin’. Me an’ the rest of the girls been handlin’ all the heavy liftin’ around the farm but we need kind of a… whatcha call. A gentler touch for the milkin’ and math and all that. So if you’re all signed up, welcome to the farm! Get on in here, ya little stringbean! You’re good as family once you start workin’ here, and we’re a huggin’ sort out here!

Ahh quit your squirmin’. A bit a’ mud ain’t hurt nobody and most of that slop’s stuff we were gonna eat anyways before we gave it to the hogs. ‘Course some of that smell might just be me… or the moonshine. Ya work up a real sweat doin’ hard work, after all. It’ll make a real man outta you in no time, cityboy!

I can show ya around right quick ‘ere. That there’s the barn, the chicken coops… I suppose you found the pigsty easy enough. That’s the field where Abby-Sue’s gettin’ the corn. You ever plowed a field, city boy? Hard work, I tell ya. You’ll learn a thing or two about plowin’ real quick around here. Dottie there works the truck and herds the cows around. Milly keeps the house over there, usually busy in the kitchen all day…

Loggin’s? Oh, lodgin’! Yea, we set you up a spot up in the hayloft. Nicest view in the place, you lucky son of a sow! All the fresh air and summer breezes you could want. Used to call it the ‘stud farm’ before the bull up and died, so guess that makes you our new stud!

Of course, if you were interested, I’ve always got room in my bed. I don’t snore too bad, but y’know… I’m real big on southern hospitality. I don’t mind sharin’ if you’re willin’ to put that little city stringbean body to work. Ain’t had a gentleman caller ‘round here since Jezebelle sent that boy to the doctor with a broken pecker, but I think you’re man enough for the job. Ain’tcha, city boy? Even if ya hol’ up in your loft, me an’ the girls… well, like I said. We ain’t got a lot of fellers out here, and you ARE bunkin’ in the stud farm.

I could see ya shapin' up alright. Bit of hard workin, get a nice sweaty country stink on ya', a few good, hearty country dinners in ya... might even make for a marryin' sort. As long as I get to ya before the others do. Cuz you're lookin' 'bout as tasty as granny's biscuits about now. Ain't shy to say it! You got me wetter'n a fish in a rainstorm about now just lookin' at that prettyboy face o' yours. Most folks ya ask’d say Trixie-Ann’s the real pick of the litter; got an ass like a pickup truck and a punch to boot but lemme tell ya! She can’t crack a walnut between her thighs like I can, AND I got the best sheep-shearin’ time for three years runnin’.

So whatcha think? You lookin’ to hook up with a real… *hic* REAL woman, little feller?”