NES League Wrestler Rankings (Patreon)

Something suggested to me for my ongoing NES League. Working on a story or two for it in the near future and thought about rankings for the fighters with some real basic stats. I've tossed this together with about as much info as I'd like to commit to for it. Never cared much for win-loss numbers, and they don't really have finishers in this league. It's all too weird and wild when you've got robots and aliens and people from the past or future around anyway.

Just a little snack of a story til I can post more solid stuff soon.

1. Peach

Game: Super Mario Bros

Style: classic pro, never afraid to cheat or play dirty.

History: obtained the overall championship way at the early start of the league. She’s done anything she can to keep it, from cheating to in-league politics. Considers herself the best and that she deserves the title.

2. Lady Dimitrescu

Game: Resident Evil

Style: dominating power and attitude

History: very new to the league but hugely popular and successful. Her supernatural strength and endurance makes her a monster in more ways than one in the ring. An early win over Samus launched her up the ranks and she never stopped.

3. Tifa Lockheart

Game: Final Fantasy

Style: brawling/wrestling

History: another ancient vet of the league and long-time rival with Peach. They’ve had back and forth wins but has yet to actually hold the title. Consistently among the top 10 of the league throughout her career.

4. Rainbow Mika

Game: Street Fighter

Style: powerhouse grappler, fond of smothers and high risk moves

History: practically born into the ring and a natural showman. Loves a close match as much as a win, and was the inventor of several gimmick matches popularized in the league. Her famously round and thick booty has ended plenty of matches.

5. Urbosa

Game: Legend of Zelda

Style: muscle wrestler, chokehold specialist

History: a gerudo warrior not afraid to get sexual while overpowering her foes. Among the strongest women in the league, and loves to partner with Zelda or other girls of her game on the side.

6. Zarya

Game: Overwatch

Style: olympic wrestler, lifting power moves

History: another natural athlete, her incredible endurance has outlasted some of the best. A former weightlifter who loves to show off her might and stamina. Flirty trash talker. Particular rivalries with Urbosa, and their spots on the rankings are usually very close and called “The Wall of Muscle” for newcomers to overcome.

7. Ayla

Game: Chrono Trigger

Style: savage high flyer

History: barely seeming to know what wrestling is, Ayla is a cavewoman through and through. Some wrestlers have refused to get in the ring with her and her ridiculous strength, agility, animalistic techniques, and trusty club. Has had her share of DQ’s and has turned down more complicated matches that hinder her rank.

8. Marina

Game: Splatoon

Style: sexual submission holds

History: a surprisingly high competitor, the inklin pop star uses her boneless flexibility and slippery nature to elude and choke out or tap out opponents. Often accompanied by her partner Pearl to the ring, but the loudmouth is more often a distraction than actually interfering as she has the utmost confidence in her girl Mary.

9. 2B

Game: Nier

Style: slow and steady

History: a serious and sometimes stiff fighter, the robotic babe’s surprising strength and weight is devastating to the unprepared. She maintains a cool exterior but can be shy around fans, which just makes them adore her more. A fan favorite who has even had a shot at the title before.

10. Bayonetta

Game: Bayonetta

Style: acrobatic and sexualized striker

History: a major showboat and fan favorite for it. Incredibly flexible and dangerous even without her magic in the ring. Butts heads with Palutena on occasion and will readily flirt with almost anyone. Has a history of hooking up with fanboys, tag partners, and even past opponents, and isn’t afraid to put on a show in the ring as a treat for the fans or distraction for her foe.

11. Amara

Game: Borderlands

Style: showboat brawling

History: psychically-powered brawler, Amara maintains a part superhero, part star wrestler persona that makes her very popular. The tattoos and abs help too. She’s hovered around the upper ranks for a long time, consistently crushing lower fighters but struggling to break the top fighters.

12. Sheva

Game: Resident Evil

Style: striker martial arts

History: one of the more serious and practically capable fighters, but it doesn’t translate the best in the ring. Her straightforward and practical mma style makes her easily surprised by the raunchier or stranger fighters.

13. Melony

Game: Pokemon

Style: crush and smother

History: got a huge boost after winning the gym leader royal rumble, and popular as a busty milf fighter. Seems happy and comfortable at her new ranking, showing rookies the ropes while not quite breaching into the title shot areas. Very chummy with the other pokemon trainer characters all the same.

14. Lulu

Game: Final Fantasy

Style: tactical grappler

History: gothy black mage, and while she can’t use her magic she comes prepared with tricks, foreign objects like her moogle doll, or simply vicious methods of smothering or tearing her opponent apart. Her level head and foresight remain her strongest weapon (right behind her crushing tits)

15. Juliet “Lollipop” Starling

Game: Lollipop Chainsaw

Style: acrobatic striker

History: always pepper and perky, the zombie-slaying cheerleader still comes prepared for any opponent in the ring. A nearly unmatched athlete and acrobat, her modified chainsaw-style vibrator is feared as one of the most unstoppable finishers/weapons in the league. Her bubbly and happy nature are assumed to be the main causes of her not taking the title. Has landed the handcore title on several occasions.

16: Dixie Clemets

Game: Rumble Roses

Style: power grappler

History: technically one of the most experienced sexy wrestlers and built like an ox, but not the brightest. She tends to either crush her foes or rely on her opponents to tire themselves out before landing a powerful comeback, but it’s backfired on her when they proved stronger than she expected. Originally a common target by her fellow Rumble Roses, but they have more or less backed off apart from Aigle who occasionally forces her way into the upper ranks. Repeatedly calls out Rainbow Mika but has always lost to her.

17. Chun-Li

Game: Street Fighter

Style: striker, favors legs and leg holds

History: a stiff and serious fighter. Often competing among her fellow Street Fighters, but even more frequently calls out the sluttier and less professional fighters that outrank her (and often kick her ass).

18. Daisy

Game: Super Mario Bros

Style: all around brawler

History: reckless tomboy. Has a bitter grudge with Peach for staying at the top while she struggles to keep up. A more athletic version of Peach but her throwing around her status or tricks/schemes tend to outdo Daisy when they face off. Gives her a reputation as much more temperamental than she really is.

19. Gruntilda

Game: Banjo Kazooie

Style: sexualized submission wrestler

History: originally a low-ranking fighter before she worked her magic to steal the youth, strength and beauty from other competitors, spending most of her time as her sexier “game over” form. A shamelessly cruel and mocking fighter, she prefers to see her foes ruined before finishing them. This often costs her fights

20. Raven

Game: Twisted Metal Black

Style: hardcore brawler

History: a surprisingly high-ranking fighter for a relatively powerless girl. The psycho goth’s bursts of rage and intense endurance surprise plenty of fighters.