Clowns In the Funhouse: Cupcake and Beefcake (Patreon)

Finally getting to the voted stories! I’d had these two in mind for a while but I took forever deciding on names. Originally I had Smallfry and Tallfry, but the cake ideas fit too perfectly and got me to commit to the idea.

I had the idea that they’d always be sisters with real different looks. One big, one small, because clowns don’t give a fuck about DNA. They’re probably different because whatever logic dictates their bloodline thought it would be funny. I had to ask myself partway through if clowns even have kids or if they just form as adults, but decided seeing a clown baby would be pretty funny. Originally Beefcake was the tan one but I decided that Bullseye has dark skin already so I’d play with expectations with the tall pale buff one and the short curvy tan one.

I had no plans for Cupcake to have a Joisy accent until I started writing for her. It happened instantaneously.

Inevitably, I went back to The Funhouse for more. The siren call of fucking a girl with a honking nose and cartoon sound effects drew me back to the surprisingly roomy waiting room in the colorful building. I had slept with Tada and Bullseye as my regular go-tos but I kept an eye out for some new flavors of clown fuckery.

I had only seen the mismatched clowns with identical facepaint once before in the waiting room. When they showed up again, they immediately caught my eye. It may have had something with me spending a vacation day swinging by for an especially long stay at The Funhouse, getting me there earlier than usual.

They both had faintly purple facepaint with some bolder pink streaks from the corners of their mouths and eyes. The similarities ended there, because the bigger clowngirl was tall, pale and incredibly muscular. She was lean and cut like a bodybuilder, wearing an undersized tie-dye shirt and some booty shorts that showed off her abs and tight round booty. Some very short blue hair added to her tomboyish appearance, but some small and strangely bouncy boobs still pushed out her top.

The short one was tan-skinned besides her makeup. Her bright pink hair was thick and poofy, kept in a neatly rounded and curly afro that still came up a few inches short of 4 feet tall. She had pouty pink lips and unlike the first, she was especially curvy. Her tits were the size of her head and bounced up and down constantly. Even when she was sitting perfectly still, her jugs could be seen bobbing out of sync with the other like they were dancing to some unheard beat. She wore a tight sleeveless shirt and a frilly-skirt that left the bottom of her caramel-colored buns exposed, flashing the rest of her chubby thighs and cheeks with the slightest bend over.

“Hey, girls,” I greeted, stepping over with a smile. Nothing warmed up a clowngirl like a smile.

“I haven’t seen you two around much.”

“Yea, well the Cake sisters is a two-girl act. Hard to get both our schedules in order,” the short clown said in what sounded like a nasally Boston accent.

“Sisters?” I asked, looking between the mismatched pair. I immediately had to wonder if it was more of a nickname or a symbolic sisterhood.

“Yea. I’m Cupcake. This’ my little sister Beefcake. What of it?”

The moody little clown bobbed her puffy head up at her brawny sister. The pale amazon clown gave me a tiny wave.

“Hey,” she said simply. Her clear and calm voice had none of the aggressive accent of her sister.

It raised all sorts of questions, but by now I’d figured that was basically why clowns did half the things they did.

“Well it sounds like a hell of a show,” I said, deciding to just keep going with it.

“You girls free for a session?”

“Yo! Bullseye!” Cupcake barked over at the thick brown clown lounging nearby.

“He good for it?!”

“This feller? Oh, he’s nothin’ but sugar,” the rodeo clown assured her.

“Alright, good. Don’t wanna have to sic my baby sis on ya if ya tried to dine and dash.”

Beefcake waved at me with a polite nod. “That’s me,” she reminded me.

I didn’t get the vibe that Beefcake was dopey at all, but she definitely seemed wildly more laid back than her sister. She must have been used to her taking charge and mouthing off, probably giving up on talking over her long ago.

Cupcake strode ahead of us and led the way back to their room. Each of the ladies had their own designated spot to take customers with their own little personal touches. Stepping into the next room, it was clearly shared between the Cake Sisters. In fact, it was split exactly across the middle. One part was a colorful polkadot of pastels with a mess of magazines and food wrappers laying around. The other side was a duller brown and black. Bodybuilding calenders and racks of weights were hung up all along one row of the walls, as well as a small rack of anime dvds.

“Is that anime?” I had to ask.

“I have hobbies,” Beefcake answered matter of factly.

“I doubt you’re just here for a tour,” Cupcake griped as she hopped onto the foot of the bed. “Show our guest a good time, sis.”

Beefcake grabbed me by the shoulders and lifted me off my feet. She hooked a hand on my belt and yanked it off with one quick pull before her hand aggressively grabbed onto my balls. I had a split second of shock but it definitely got my cock the rest of the way erect in a second. The big and blunt clown slid her hand more gently up my shaft and assured me of the good things to come.

She held me up in the air by the scruff of my shirt before giving me a firm yank upward. I was lightly tossed higher up before she grabbed me by the hips and held me up like I was a pillow. Looking back on it, it’s one more weird reminder that we ended up lucky that clowns just want to make people laugh and smile (and sometimes cum), because we would have no idea what to do to stop them if they had appeared looking for a fight.

With my hard cock right at eye level, Beefcake had no trouble pulling my hips in her strong hands and wolfing down my dick. Her painted lips smacked against my lower belly and balls as she bobbed her head, honking her nose with each gulping mouthful of his dick. She started to purse her lips and moan, dragging a few sticky pale streaks of her lipstick along my cock. She parted them at last to show the thick strings of saliva loosely connecting my cock to her mouth as she glanced up at me.

“Damn, that’s good,” she sighed lowly, her breath blowing across my wet dick. It twitched right in front of her face, leaking a bit of precum out with it. She stuck out her tongue to catch it with a slow, warm lick that got me moaning hard myself.

“Mmf! Can’t wait,” she muttered as I felt her grip loosen up on me.

Beef firmly shoved me back on the bed, its blankets another even split of pink and black down the middle. Cupcake had made it clear this was a show to some degree so I’d given up on trying or wanting to take control of things. Beefcake pulled the last of my clothes off and hurled them away with her impressive strength before she wiggled out of her own shorts. She didn’t bother with her top before she eagerly grabbed me by my lower legs. She tipped them up over my head, pinning them there with her muscular thighs as she sat on the back of my legs. She gripped and redirected my cock to point straight up before she mounted me in an extreme of the amazon position, burying me inside her.

The buff clown moaned and shut her eyes, clearly enjoying herself at least as much as I was. She started to hump more firmly, creating the distinct sound of a clashing cymbal that grew louder with every slam of her hips. She gasped and panted in arousal, since the effort was clearly nothing for her with her thick abs and bulging thigh muscles at work. She bit her painted lip and ran her hands up her toned body before squeezing her breasts, popping them out from under her colorful little top. I just struggled to keep my breath as I thrust back up into her as best I could, but her heavy body combined with gravity made sure I could only do so much in return.

I was getting real fired up when Beefcake squeezed her breasts especially hard, making them honk and squeak with a high noise like a chewtoy. Her body shuddered and she let out a shaky moan as her hips arched, letting loose the usual clown orgasm all over my lower body and chest. The spray of slightly damp confetti and the celebratory noisemaker sound was a welcome sign of our mutual enjoyment by now.

“Ohhhh dang,” Beef moaned as her densely muscled body leaned into me. She slumped over limply before mashing her lips into mine for a quick but firm kiss.

“Oh that was great. It’s been too long,” she sighed in one of the longer sentences I’d heard out of the big and quiet woman.

“See?! This’ why you’re the warmup act!” Cupcake suddenly interrupted.

I glanced up to notice she was leaning on her elbows, laying on her stomach to watch our fucking up close. Her massive melons were squashed out from under her, too big for her chest and trapped between her bracing arms holding up her chin.

“You always cum too fast. It leaves me cleaning up your mess as usual. Baby sis is always a little too excited to put on a show,” Cupcake explained as she hopped up to her feet.

She bent over and wiggled her hips to pull her rainbow-colored thong out from between her big brown buns.

“Step aside, Beefy, and lemme show you how it’s done. I got this one.”

Cupcake stepped in front of me and gave Beefcake a firm shove. The bigger clown didn’t even budge, but she got the point and scooted off my cock a moment later. I was left with my erection soaking wet and with a few bits of colored paper stuck to it. Cupcake stepped between my legs and plopped her thick ass onto it, hitting with the sound of a bass drum being thumped to go with the soft but heavy weight. My dick immediately twitched as it settled into place between her fat ass cheeks and drooled more precum onto her.

“I know, right?” Cup boasted proudly.

She smirked over her shoulder with her pink-lined lips. She clearly had all the confidence of the two sisters as she started to bounce and twerk it in place, grinding against my cock. She leaned forward as Beefcake sat on the edge of the bed and watched as she flipped up her skirt. Cupcake started to bob her butt slightly up and down, hotdogging my cock between her browned buns. Even with her back to me, I could see her constantly swaying tits swinging along in front of her.

“Don’t get a name like Cupcake without havin’ some cake, after all!” she laughed.

I had to doubt she was born with an ass like that, but I didn’t know enough about clown biology to properly question it. I also didn’t stop her from climbing around, planting her hands on my stomach as she lifted her hips up high. She flashed me a toothy grin with a large gap in between her front teeth, wiggling her booty as she slipped out of her top like it was ready to pop off at a moment’s notice anyway.

“Now here comes that good shit,” she purred confidently before slamming her pussy down on me.

It slipped in so smoothly and perfectly that I almost didn’t notice the splash of whipped cream that splatted out from her pussy and onto my shaft. It was a weird little eyecatch but it sure didn’t keep me from thrusting up into her. Her sister had gotten me fired up and I was glad to fuck the bouncing shortstack, sending her tits flopping around even more uncontrollably than before. She squealed with playful delight as she rode my dick with her wetly slapping pussy.

“You littlefeet sure know how to use your gigglesticks,” she snickered happily. “Not like it’s enough to pop my balloons, though, so don’t get such a big head about it. Well, maybe a little bigger head…”

Cupcake squeezed her thighs together, rubbing the edge of my cock until I moaned and thrust hard, gushing a spray of semen into her womanhood. Her tightly gripping legs buried me deep, squirting all around inside her like a pent up hose letting loose.

“See? Can’t compete with clown pussy,” Cupcake gloated as she plapped her ass into my thighs again with another deep drumbeat.

I was reeling but I’d gone through enough clown fuckery to come ready for more than just one orgasm. My cock rested and pulsed inside her, but I caught sight of Beefcake behind her sister. She rolled her eyes with a smirk at me, making it quietly clear that she wasn’t buying any of her sister’s big talk. I cracked a smile while Cupcake went on bragging about her body and sexual prowess, wiggling in place.

“Biggest top in town, huh? Bet you can’t wait til next time to get your mitts on my squeakers. I might even let you blast my whoopee cushion if you ask real nice!”

I saw the naked Beefcake reach for a colorful box by a nearby wall, fishing out a long and deflated blue balloon. She gave it a couple stretches before she gave a quick blow, puffing it up into something you’d make a balloon animal out of. She gave it a few dexterous twists that shaped it into a balloon version of a cock and balls. She held it up and raised her eyebrows at me in a silent request to put it to good use.

“Yea. Go ahead,” I agreed. “Join the fun.”

It was priceless to see the smug shortstack’s expression drop in confusion.

“Huh? What fun you talkin’ about now?”

I saw Beefcake tie the edges of the balloon around her hips, turning the balloon animal cock into a strapon. She reached around and grabbed Cupcake by her big gropable tits, using them as handles to pull herself closer. The look of hilarious shock on Cup’s face made it clear she’d thrust it right up her juicy ass.

“A-AHHHH~! Whatya think you’re doin’ back there?!”

“Nothin’,” Beefcake said, flashing me a wink and a shrug.

“So that’s nothin’ I’m feeling in my caker right now!? EEP!”

I join in on the fun as my cock finishes regrouping. I hump up into her pussy, boosting Cupcake up and back into her sister. She let out a startled squeal as we doubleteam her with the balloon strapon, sandwiching her thick curves between us. She bit her lip as her face clearly twisted in unexpected arousal, showing off her tooth gap as she struggled not to shout in delight.

“NNNNNG! No fair, ya dick-for-brains numbskulls!” Cupcake managed to whine before her eyes rolled back.

Her mouth flew open in a wild gasp as we fucked her from both sides. Clowns were always a little bit soft and stretchy to accommodate their constant contortions and acrobatics, but her breasts and ass kept squashing in and bouncing back out again. I could feel the surprisingly solid balloon cock pushing into her ass with Beefcake’s strong hips behind it, adding an extra little tingle to the tip of my dick while sandwiching the howling Cupcake’s clit between us. She panted and drooled on me while her big tits squashed and dragged on my chest. The drastic size difference between the sisters meant that Beefcake towered over her, resting her smaller breasts on Cupcake’s head and right in front of my face. I leaned up and thanked her with some passionate licking and sucking on her hard, thick nips while we both put the mouthy shortstack in her place.

“I’m… ugh… wha... “ Cupcake panted in between us as we pingponged her pussy back and forth using both of her holes.

“I… ah… n-not gonna… AH! Youse fuckin’... AHHAAH~!”

Cupcake clearly lost control, dethroned by my cooperation with her sister. I pumped against her clit right as I felt her hips shake, or as best they could when pinned between my penetration and the pinning pressure of Beefcake’s burly body. Her strong hands squeezed Cup’s boobs to hold her in place, honking/squeaking them loudly as her drumming butt kept clapping. I felt her pussy clench around my dick like her ass must have been around the strapon balloon, proving its durability again by how it didn’t pop judging by that tight a pussy.

Cupcake’s eyes bugged out and she bit her painted lip before breaking into a passionately gasping scream. She let loose the matching spray of confetti and noisemakers gushing out with her orgasm as she flopped into me. Their combined weight was more than enough to make me cum inside Cupcake, getting her to shake and eyes to widen even more. Her boobs squashed against my chest and tilted upward, and unlike her sister came an additional result. More fluids gushed from her as her pudgy nipples swelled and suddenly squirted out over my chest and face, drenching me in…

“Is that seltzer?” I asked as I licked my lips curiously.

“You got a problem with that!?” Cupcake blurted indignantly, her blush shining across her cheeks in rosy orbs even through her makeup.

“You humans go squirting your sticky stuff all over and you don’t hear me complainin’, do ya!? You seriously gonna complain after it took two of ya to get me off!”

“Not at all!”

I leaned in and caught one of her juicy tits in my mouth, sucking on one of her hard nipples like a faucet. She tensed up and shivered again, clearly sensitive after the orgasm as she squirmed between us.

“Alright! Alright! I forgive yer ass! Now lemme go, you chowdaheads!”

Beefcake and I giggled at her as we pulled back out and let her flop limply onto the bed, only her wobbling butt and boobs left in motion as she panted.

“Gotta do this again, man,” Beefcake told me with a wink.  “It’s not often somebody gets her to squirt.”

“It wasn’t the squirt I was expecting,” I admitted. “But glad to. Lucky I like seltzer water anyway.”

“Lucky I let you stick it in me again after the prank you just pulled,” Cupcake grumbled as she blushed. She squeaked again as Beefcake spanked a hand across one of her tits to get them jiggling more than ever.

“Yea, but you love pranks!” Beef laughed. “Don’t let sourpuss get to ya.”

“Razn frazn… yea, fine! Stop by anytime you’re around our neck of the sideshow, strongman.”