Beefers 5: Linda and Eddie's Good Morning (Patreon)

This whole thing was done in like 2 hours today from plan to finish. Y’all remember Beefers? When I took a shot at making my own little horny restaurant, mostly as a character study thing to see if I could do it without knocking off Pizza Thot’s cast. I like to think I did a pretty good job, but there were definitely some personal highlights among them. Not sure what got me back to working on them today while I was bouncing around between a few ideas to peck at, figuring I’d write what I felt like today for my birthday.

Belinda and Eddie were two very early picks to put in the cast, even if they mostly come off as support characters. I honestly didn’t know if I’d end up using the male cast at all, even if Billy ended up starring in a few and Ed had some good dumbass commentary. I liked the idea of Linda being kind of an ice queen in behavior but really just being super low energy and unexpressive. Not tsundere but she’s just not as into the fuck job as everyone else. She was always planned to be dating Eddie as part of the gag, but I somehow ended up exploring that relationship more and more as the stories went on. I took a deep dive into that this chapter.

I honestly went in figuring on some comfy couple stuff leading into some hardcore pounding. It wasn’t until I started getting into their dynamic that I remembered learning about morosexual/the kink of loving someone who’s dumber than you. The idea that Linda is this overachiever with probably a pretty strict upbringing sounds like she’d find Eddie’s dumb and happy puppy dog nature bizarre and fascinating to the point of getting a little horny off his raw himbo energy. It lets me keep Eddie’s happy support bro persona up while she’s comically frustrated/horny with him for a fun dynamic.

“Pat, your triple order of Anal Angus is waiting,” Linda pointed out with her usual businesslike tone.

“Oh shit! Right!” The busty country blonde came rushing up to the dropoff counter, quickly gathering her dishes onto her serving tray. Patty still had her top unbuttoned completely, blotting cum from her mouth and cleavage to avoid leaving a trail behind her. Her mom/manager had chewed her out enough to at least get the slacking farmgirl waitress to do that.

“This doesn’t count as you gettin’ the lead on me. I’m still ahead of you!” Patty insisted before running off with her tray.

“Didn’t say I wasn’t” Linda sighed. Patty had put together some sort of fantasy where Belinda was her rival, which seemed to be the only way to get her to work consistently. She was just doing her job, and thankfully, she was back in the kitchen this time.

It wasn’t that Linda didn’t like working at Beefers. The horny steakhouse/sex shop paid nicely on top of the generous tips, but some days Linda was glad to be working the grills and friers. It usually beat getting her ass slapped every chance Jackie got and Patty bragging about every customer or trying to compare tips. She liked it in the kitchen. Xyla was on her headphones by the dishwasher all day and was perfectly happy not talking to anybody short of a special request, and Janine was up front picking through her bottomless fries or talking some customer’s ear off.

She finally finished up her late shift, tuning out through her cooking and the mixed music playing overhead. As the only cook on the shift, Linda cleaned off the grills and tidied up the kitchen. She gave a casual wave to her coworkers before she drove home to shower off. She was a stone-faced, dark-skinned girl with a massive chest, curvy figure and long, dark brown braids and curls to near her waist, so while she couldn’t wait to clean up she’d rather do it at home than stay in the restaurant any longer.

She lived in a small house with her boyfriend. He was one of the perks of the place; she had met Eddie there. He was a huge jock who spent any time he wasn’t at his job or with her working out, and she adored his dumb ass. The overly sweet meathead was sitting on their recliner, snoring softly with his short black hair still slicked back into place. His phone and one of his free weights were dropped beside the chair beneath his limply hanging guns of arms.

Linda shook her head wearily. He’d stayed up waiting for her again. She knew Ed slept like a stone, and a lot of his brain and willpower went towards his workout routine to stay that ripped. Sometimes it felt like she was keeping a dog more than a boyfriend, but he was her meathead. As cold and soft-spoken as she was, she adored him.

Belinda went about cleaning up for him. He kept the house in decent order and her meticulous nature took care of the rest, but she took and plugged in his phone for him. She grunted heavily as she managed to drag his weight off by one of the walls where they wouldn’t bump into it and came back with a blanket for him. She kissed him on the cheek before draping it over his massive pecs and abs that showed their outline through his t-shirt.

Eddie mumbled something like a thank you as he shifted in the recliner. Linda sniffed the tiniest of laughs as she smiled down at him, just taking a moment to admire the big lug. It made her realize she’d been in the back the whole day, and nobody quite did it for her like Eddie did. They certainly understood they both enjoyed fucking customers at their job, but they always came back to their familiar bodies. The busty mixed girl’s wandering and tired mind was settled when Eddie’s repositioning left the thick and lengthy outline of his hardon poking up through the blanket.

Linda’s mouth watered. If you didn’t count his brain, everything on Eddie was huge. She had seen the lug sleep through a part of their ceiling collapsing during an especially bad storm, so she didn’t worry about disturbing him. She couldn’t if she tried, so she may as well help herself. She was sure he wouldn’t mind as she knelt in front of him and lifted the blanket while she tugged down his shorts.

When it came to her customers, Linda preferred to do whatever was easiest; handjobs or doggy style usually let her mind wander or busy herself with something else. Something about Eddie’s huge hardon got her unable to look at it for long before wrapping her hand and mouth around it, relishing the constant air of sweat and attractive musk that followed the gym bro around. The sex-worker waitress moaned audibly as she slid his thick head and veiny shaft into her mouth, resting her big brown breasts on his muscular tanned legs. She took her time savoring it, sliding her lips and tongue over it as she pleased and breathing in the familiar and soothing scent of her boyfriend. As much as she was sure he’d enjoy it, she did it for herself more than anything. Running her hands over his pecs and abs that slowly shifted while he slept as she sucked his cock was just something comforting to her in a strange way. Just like she enjoyed his spooning hugs in bed or the smell of his body wash in the shower, just knowing she had the biggest dick she’d ever seen inside her was always a pleasure.

Linda slowly traced her lips and tongue over Ed’s dick until she felt him shiver. She knew when his muscles twitched in an orgasmic way and drew her head back enough to take his load into her mouth. She sucked it down as she finished delivering her wet dream for her still sleeping boyfriend, holding his twitching cock in her mouth until it eased back into its only semi-colossal size.

She yanked his shorts back up as best she could before going back to his phone. She unlocked it with his password; he’d told her before when he needed her to check his messages, and 1234 was not the best kept secret to begin with. She pulled up his notepad and typed out “Worked late. Helped myself to a late night snack. Thanks for waiting. Love you.” She left it for him to find when he opened his phone before hastily showering and collapsing into bed.

---

The sound of a juicer running woke Linda up from her deep sleep. She groaned and slumped out of bed in her pair of shorts stolen off Eddie and her tight college t-shirt from Queen’s Beach University before lurching out to the living room.

“Hey, bae!” Eddie greeted cheerily. He was always up early and smiling for a guy who hated coffee. He stuck another dose of protein powder and some juice into his half-done smoothie before firing it back up.

“You want some shake for breakfast?”

“No. Thanks, babe,” she mumbled as she went to the fridge. Her already curly hair was a mess as she took out some milk. The busty waitress/cook liked to take her time fixing and braiding her hair in the morning, a nice centering time she reserved for herself, and maybe Eddie or a good podcast while she worked on it.

“Hey, you alright? Saw your thingy about staying late last night,” Eddie mentioned loudly over the running juicer.

“Fine. Just tired,” Belinda summed up as she got out some cereal.

“Ah shit, dude. You ok? Need me to knock off the juicin’ stuff?”

“No, ‘dude,” she muttered. “I’m up. I may as well stay up.”

Eddie furrowed his brow as he processed this and let his mixer die down. “Yea, but today’s your day…”

He paused and looked at the calendar for a few seconds. “Today IS your day off. You gotta take a break. Cheat day and all that, bro.”

“It’s fine. Really,” Linda muttered. She gasped as Eddie caught her around the waist and lifted her over his shoulder. Her huge breasts flopped and slapped against his back.

“Nah, dude. You need your beauty sleep cuz you’re beauty-ful as fuck, bro. Let’s get your ass back to bed.”

“Eddie!” Linda yelped, rarely raising her voice at all. “I told you I’m already up!”

“Don’t worry. I can fix that in a jiff. I got you, bro.”

He clapped a broad hand on her round ass, getting her to shudder. “Oh! Oh like that…” she muttered as she let her voice die down.

She tapped his muscular back a few times. “At least turn me around so I can put the milk away first.”

Her hair swept around as he turned and aimed her back at the counter. She snorted as he easily lifted her thick curves and turned her again to the fridge, letting her set it back inside before he patted her ass again.

“Alright! Last stop before the Ed Train stops off at sleep station, and I’m your Ed-gineer.”

“God dammit, Ed,” she laughed as she beat her fists weakly on his back. Belinda had studied her ass off in college to get her exceptional grades, even if the job market left her still working at a sexy steakhouse. She was smart and serious, and still did some casual research and reading just out of habit. Somewhere in her browsing online, she had found the word “morosexual.” Someone who was attracted to someone much dumber than they were. She had quickly found herself squirming at just how accurate it sounded when it came to her and Ed.

---

Eddie tossed Linda back into the bed and peeled off his old jersey. The busty waitress’ thighs rubbed together excitedly just from watching him strip down.

“Alright! First thing, we gotta get you relaxed,” Ed decided as he cracked his knuckles.

“You are failing right now,” Linda said in her usual dry tone, even as she cracked a smile at him.

“Oh, sorry, dude. Lemme fix that.” The meathead boyfriend lifted her off the bed around the waist, setting her back down on her stomach. He set to work rubbing and pressing with his strong fingers into her back and sides, and soon the uptight mixed brunette was moaning at his touch.

“I gotta figure lifting those big boobs around’s a real chore. Even I gotta pass on the occasional workout if I pull something, but you don’t have a choice. No wonder your lats and pecs are always gettin’ such a workout.”

“That’s not how those work… mmf! That is good though...” Belinda grunted, too relaxed to properly protest his theory.

He certainly knew how to rub down a muscle, considering how many he had himself. He got to her power back, cupping and lifting her hips until her round ass pressed against his bulge. She was very familiar with the feeling, whether spooning or riding him on their more passionate nights together. Not that many people would use Belinda and “passion” in the same sentence.

“Mmm! That’s the spot, babe,” Linda moaned as she arched her back, grinding his dick between her cheeks.

“Thanks, dude. Sorry I haven’t got you a good massage in a while,” Eddie replied happily.

Linda’s mouth opened to correct him but found herself stopping. She just gripped the bedsheets a little tighter as she tolerated their shorts being between her and his dick right now. The teasing must have been exciting her… or maybe it was the charming idiocy of her man. The articles had really planted themselves in her sexual psyche by now.

“There. You all chilled out?” Ed asked as he ran his hands down her smooth legs.

“Yea…” Linda mewled, her voice cracking a bit.

“Awesome. Now that we got you warmed up, let’s actually warm you up!”

Ed grabbed the blanket and wrapped it tightly around his girlfriend. She found it hard to move with her arms bound up close to her chest, which also left her nipples rubbing against her arms and the fabric of the blanket.

“Eddie, I don’t need you to tuck me in,” Linda sighed. “I can get some coffee or just go back to bed if you’re that stubborn about it.”

“Hey now. There’s nothin’ wrong for askin for help from your bro-friend,” Ed assured her as he patted her on the back.

She groaned a little as he used another of his self-imposed titles for himself, just to gasp as his hands went beneath the blankets. She moaned as they cupped her heavy breasts, squeezing the firm orbs tightly in his powerful hands and his brainless biceps hugged around her. She sighed and shuddered as it hugged her big tits tighter against her chest while holding her against his meaty pecs. Her pussy was dripping as Eddie’s smell and muscle surrounded her while his natural hardon pulsed against the back of her hips.

“Oh my god,” she mumbled softly, squirming helplessly in the binds of his rear embrace and her tangled blanket. It was like he’d put her into bondage and teased her without even realizing it and it was hot as hell. She let out a shrill moan when he kissed her on the side of the neck like she loved and all but melted as he lightly massaged her tits and teased her hard nipples.

“There ya go, bro. I can feel you getting’ sleepy. Anything else I can get ya?” Ed offered happily.

“Oh my god. Please fuck me, you fucking idiot!” Belinda blurted. She had figured any woman would have trouble keeping her sex drive under control around a hung and handsome lug like Eddie, and even a bright and level-headed girl like her had her limits.

“Oh hell yea. No prob.”

Eddie lifted her by the hips and drew her into his lap. He slid out of his boxers and moved the blanket around to slip himself inside. Linda bit her lip and gave a stifled grunt as his hammer of a dick slipped into her, balancing her full body weight on top of it. Her lips parted persistently with a quivering cry. She tried to pump against him but the tangle of blanket’s he’d left her in made her movement limited. She was at the mercy of his dick, unable to get herself off without entirely relying on her big beautiful meathead.

“How’s that doin’ for ya, babe?” Ed offered helpfully as he squeezed her tightly, bearhugged into his lap.

“More, bitch,” she blurted out. “Fuck me hard. I need it so MMMF! Fucking god, yesss~!”

Eddie started to pump harder inside her, his thick rod filling her as far as she could take it. A seasoned pro like her took him up to the hilt after a few thrusts, her body shaking as she sat balls-deep on his dick. Her head leaned back on his shoulder, her messy hair strewn out over his chest as she felt paralyzed by the satisfying pleasure of finally having him all the way inside her with his clit-crushing dick.

Eddie’s chest bobbed as he chuckled and brushed some strands of hair from her face. He kissed her lightly on the lips.

“Did y’know you look ever hotter when you look happy?” he said with a smile.

“Oh would you shut…” Linda winced a bit at the lovey dovey comment, but that made her shiver as her pussy clenched around his cock.

“Nevermind,” she mumbled instead. “You do you, bro.”

“Thanks, bro. Can do.” Eddie smiled back as he pulled down the blanket, just enough that Linda’s tits bounced out freely while still keeping her arms entangled. He squeezed them tightly, wrapping around as high as he could and drawing slowly down to her nipples. The tease building up to the inevitable peak had her twitch and moan, humping back on him as best she could as his pumping dick bounced her on top of it. Pulling on her breasts worked as even more leverage as he kept pulling her down onto his cock, squishing loudly as he pumped her soaking pussy. All she could do was let him use her, teasing her lips and throat with kisses while he squeezed her big dark tits out of shape and fuck her like a living onahole in her blanket burrito.

“Oh fuck… oh fuck, yes,” Linda rambled. “Tell me you had this planned the whole time.”

Deep down she knew the answer. Ed was all sunshine and good intentions, even if he loved plowing her senseless. It just was never the first thing on his mind. But she had to know…

“Dude, I’m just helpin’ my bae get to sleep. Get your mind outta the cum gutters.”

“That’s…!” Belinda gasped, her eyelids fluttering. “That’s not what that means… ohhhh god, you dumb fucking stud! Don’t stop!”

“Don’t stop what? Dicking your brains out or being dumb?”

“That’s… nngh! N- niiii…” Linda started to mutter. Eddie smiled and gave her an encouraging kiss on her sweet spot on the neck. She knew what he liked to hear, no matter how stupid she thought it sounded. He still appreciated it and it acted as a double-edged sword that made her feel so hot and humiliated.

“N-nice dick, bro… OHHHH FUCK~!” Linda howled in pleasure. Between knowing his way around her clit and just the level of intimacy they had between them… and no small amount of his charming stupidity, Linda realized, he got her to cum like nobody else. Her eyes rolled back as she shook in place, bouncing her breasts wildly as they slapped together and against her upper stomach. She gave a quivering mewl as she fell forward, bucking too hard for Eddie to keep his grip as she fell face and tits first into the bed with her ass raised towards him. Her hot cum drooled all over his dick, her thick hips bobbing and spasming on their own accord. The sight and feeling of his overly satisfied girlfriend triggered her proud boyfriend into promptly nutting inside her, filling in any gaps his giant cock left with his warming seed.

“Mmm, hell yea,” Eddie sighed. “I might be able to skip the morning jog after that one. Even got ya your morning protein.”

He patted Belinda on the ass like a sporting teammate. She moaned softly as her ass jiggled and her pussy squeezed fondly around his cock.

“What’d I tell ya? Knew I could tire you out again,” Eddie said with a big proud grin.

“Nuh huh…” Linda mumbled as she drooled over the bedspread. Ed smirked and lifted her back up, straightening her out to lay her head back on the pillow rightside up and away from their drying cumstain. He smoothed out her messy hand with a stroke of his hand and kissed her exposed forehead.

“Night, babe. I’ll save some shake for ya.”

“Mmhm,” she mumbled, smiling feebly in her happily satisfied haze. She wondered if this was how Eddie felt 24/7, but with more energy to him.

Eddie sat back up to go back to his liquid breakfast when Belinda spoke up in her fading voice.

“Hey, Eddie?”

“Sup, bro?”

“When we fool around again later… can we maybe try something?” she muttered as her eyes started lowering themselves closed.

“Totally. What’s up?” the himbo asked brightly.

“Can we do some naughty student and tutor roleplay? Like you’re failing classes or something…?”

“Oh man. I dunno if I’m smart enough to pull off something like that, but yea! I’ll give it a shot. You can count on me, bro.”

“God bless your dumb ass,” she mumbled as she finally passed out from all the exhausting pleasure.