Magicians Catfight (Patreon)

I had to go in for a root canal this morning, which wasn’t that bad actually. Somewhere in the middle of that I was thinking of new catfight scenarios and I ended up on two rival stage magicians getting into a catfight. You know. Using top hats and those multicolored scarves and all to wail on each other’s boobs. Within a few hours, I had it done. Random catfights can be a bit formulaic to me by now, so it was nice to get back to something with a little twist.

The Amazing Melina was the best stage magician in the country… at least, if you asked her. Some fans and magazines would agree as well, of course, but stage magic was such a particular skill set that it was hard to judge. Nobody would say she was bad at it, considering her sold out shows filling halls wherever she performed. Her pretty face and chesty figure may have contributed to that, of course, and she knew how to flaunt it.

Her mood was easily soured whenever she heard more news about Olivia the Magnificent. They had their own tricks and specialties, but it was close enough to Melina for her to get territorial. The famous and popular magician had the same playfully flirty attire and look to her that stepped on Melina’s toes, even if they had both started around the same time. Too close to imagine that either had directly copied the other, but it made them both intensely jealous about the other’s success. To think how popular they would be without the copycat around…

So it came as a shock when they were offered a team-up show: Amazing Melina and Olivia The Magnificent on the same stage, performing magic side by side. One of the biggest stages in Vegas made the offer as what seemed like easy money for them, and the pay was too impressive to turn down.

“And as a bonus,” Melina and Olivia both thought to themselves. “I can finally show up that no-talent slut.”

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The night of the big show, the seats were filled to the brim. Even scalpers had trouble getting tickets as fans of both mistresses of illusion and sleight of hand bought them out in droves. The magicians were already making catty comments behind the scenes, starting with subtle jabs when they first met face to face and soon becoming mild threats and insults. They stepped out of the dressing room to ensure their various tricks and props were already on stages, giving each other dirty looks despite their show smiles. Both wore high heels in an attempt to maximize their curves and steal fans from the other.

“Break a leg out there tonight,” Olivia greeted. “Otherwise, I could always break it for you.”

The busty blonde had curls hanging just past her shoulders. She wore a glittery leotard from hip to chest, sticking tightly to her large breasts. An open suit-vest gave her some pretense of modesty while giving the rowdier fans what they wanted.

“I don’t need your help or your luck,” Melina scoffed. “You’ll be making such an ass of yourself I won’t even need to try and humiliate you.”

The lightly tanned woman had shorter black hair, though her hourglass figure was similarly sexy compared to Olivia’s. She wore fishnets and a black leather piece somewhere between a tuxedo and a dominatrix outfit, boosting up her already ample bosom. She wore cufflinks and a short cloak to her middle back, making sure people could still see her curvy ass while having some places to conceal her more compact props.

The women gave each other one last death glare before turning towards the stage, putting on their stunning stage smiles.

“Then may the better woman and the best magician win,” Olivia noted brightly. The show was pitched as a team-up more than a competition, but they two had clearly decided this was going to be the latter.

The ladies came out to the booming voice and their thrumming hype music, almost drown out completely by the cheers. They had tables set up on stage lined with their tricks of the trade; cards, rings, top hats, wands, and a few large, people-sized boxes behind them for the more elaborate magic tricks.

The catty performers went about strutting around the stage, going through a few warm-up acts. Their twists on classics were easy ways to win over the crowd, and they were going to cash in on all their sex appeal and talent alike. Melina produced playing cards seemingly out of nowhere before flicking her wrist, repeatedly changing their suits and numbers in a countdown. The audience counted along in the final 4, just for her to reach the “1” and flipping a busty bra out into her hand. She feigned surprise and smiled as she hastily kicked it away with a comical roll of her eyes. Olivia twirled a top hat around, producing larger props from its seemingly shallow depths. She bent far over, pretending to dig in deep while she really just shook her cleavage for the cheering crowd. She finally pulled back out with nothing as a pair of fake rabbit ears and a fluffy tail popped out of her costume instead. She feigned confusion as she inspected her hat, shaking her new accessories before grinning and plucking them off.

The ladies pretended to barely acknowledge each other while thinking all sorts of cruel commentary towards their rival, as much as they could while still performing at their best. Deciding to turn things up, the music finally gave out after a few tricks. The audience applauded and Melina spoke up, her voice picked up by her personal microphone clipped to her hair.

“Thank you, everyone! I’m so glad you showed up to see me and humor my not-so-lovely assistant here,” Melina joked, getting a cheap laugh from the crowd. Olivia wasn’t about to take that sitting down, hiding her angry blush.

“Such a lovely audience we have tonight! You know, I hear Melina the Miserable over here is going to pull her implants out of a hat tonight,” she said in a mock-conspiratorial tone. Melina’s outrage flashed past her performer’s grin as she scowled at her rival.

“How dare you, you Harry Whoredini! This is MY show!” the paler performer snapped.

“YOUR show? I don’t want to imagine what you did to get on stage with me, David Cop-A-Feel!” Olivia shot back. The audience laughed along, unsure how much of this was part of the act but loving it either way.

“I don’t care what you imagine, because you imagine you’ve got any talent and we know that’s wrong!” Melina stepped up to the brunette and produced a classic magician’s wand. She smacked the black and white stick against her breast, getting them to jiggle in her leotard. Olivia gawked in shock at her.

“Now stay out of my way. I have a show to-”

Olivia flicked her wrist, producing a playing card into her palm. With a fuming look on her face, she whipped her hand out and flung it with surprising force at her rival. It created an audible snap as the talent card-thrower caught her right on her left tit, leaving a red welt in its wake. Melina yelped and jumped in shock, locking eyes with Olivia as soon as she touched down. From there, any playful pretenses were gone and they lunged right at each other.

The ladies latched onto each other’s hair, hissing curses under their breath that were amplified by their microphones. They pulled at the carefully styled locks, yanking out strands while shaking the rival magician’s head around. Melina pulled a hand free to brandish her wand and smack it against Olivia’s thighs, leaving red welts in its wake. The brunette gave a short cry from the stinging pain before she shoved Melina into the nearby table. Their assorted tricks rattled around on top of it as Olivia mashed her body into her, squashing their breasts together to pin Melina to the table and slam a few punches into her face.

The blonde’s head bounced in place from the blows before she grabbed at the table full of tricks. She grabbed onto a wide brass ring and pulled it in front of her, holding it out like a shield without a middle. When Olivia’s next punch came at her, she pulled at the sides, spreading it apart into three interlocked rings instead. They pulled apart at an angle where they caught the brunette’s punch in between them, confusing her long enough for Melina to slide out from under her.

“Abracadabra, bitch!” Melina snarled as she rammed her knee into Olivia’s stomach. She huffed loudly and doubled over, her tits nearly spilling out of her costume. Melina grabbed her by her short hair and spun her in a circle around her before letting go, sending her crashing into the table and sending the assortment of props spilling over the stage. Both women eyed their options as the depths of their throwdown dawned on them.

Melina grabbed another wand as a quick weapon as she stormed after Olivia. She stomped her high heel down on the brunette’s stomach as she raised her small club.

“I’m going to make this sucker disappear up your ass!” Melina threatened as she grabbed the front of Olivia’s outfit. She pulled at the bustline, tearing it open so that her tits spilled out of her corseted costume. As soon as they did, a small flock of doves came flying out as well, blinding Melina in a flurry of feathers.

“ACK! FUCK! You had birds hiding in your tits!?” the blonde ranted.

“Better than silicone, you dumb bimbo!” Olivia snapped. She swung her high-heeled foot up into her rival’s twat, getting Melina to groan and double over. She clutched her pussy as the brunette reached behind her ear and came back with not just a quarter, but a whole roll of them.

“Sometimes grandpa magic does the trick,” Olivia noted before palming the coins and punching Melina in the face. This one dropped her flat out on the stage as the loaded punch hammered her hard. Melina groaned on the floor, not used to fighting as much as performing. Olivia was too caught up in the fight to fix her top, letting her jugs jiggle as she crawled over to her downed foe.

“Time for you to disappear,” Olivia snarled. Melina was trying to crawl away when the brunette caught the back of her costume, dragging her up and back so that it tore open from behind. Her tits spilled out before the cheering fans. Melina tried to cover up in surprise, but Oliva beat her to it. She reached around and dug her claws into her pale tits, squeezing them and digging her thumbnails into the screaming magician’s tits.

“How are those crystal balls feeling now?!” Olivia taunted as she tortured her foe’s rack. She left burning scratch marks with her painted nails until Melina grabbed a top hat leaning on the edge of the tipped table. She twirled it around and held it over her shoulder just for a stuffed rabbit to come shooting out of its dark depths. The brunette screamed as it hit her like a lightweight boxing glove at the momentum behind it.

“Musta been the wrong hat! Oldest trick in the book,” Melina panted as her rival finally let her go in the distraction. She spun around and slugged Olivia in the belly before grabbing her in a headlock, dragging her towards the front of the stage. She let herself fall backward like she’d seen on wrestling and action movies, smashing Olivia’s head into the nearest stage light. It happened to be turned off so it wasn’t searing hot, but her head still bounced off with a metallic clang. The brunette was knocked silly as Melina grabbed a pair of handcuffs that had fallen loose.

“Hope you’re enjoying the show. For my next trick, watch me turn this skank red!” Milena gloated to the crowd. She had to keep up the act and win this fight. Whether they thought it was a show or real, she had her pride on the line now and refused to let this bitch off easy.

The blonde grabbed a pair of handcuffs and slapped them around Olivia’s wrists. The chain linked between the stage lights to keep her stuck there, her breasts hanging just off the stage as her ass was thrust up and back towards Melina. The dominating performer reached into her cufflinks and produced a colorful cloth, just to keep pulling for a different colored one. Soon she had a three-foot length of cloth, the cheap trick followed by her straddling Olivia’s back.

“Not the first time you choked before a crowd,” Melina hissed as she wrapped the scarf around her neck. She pulled up and back until she heard the rewarding sound of her rival gagging. Her face turned red as she struggled in place, her hands stuck and unable to let herself breathe. Melina grit her teeth, viciously trying to choke out Olivia until suddenly both her hands were free! She reached up and grabbed the scarf, tearing it away. Any self-respecting magician knew their way out of a pair of cuffs, of course.

Melina was shocked by her bit of escape artistry, letting Olivia elbow her in the stomach. She huffed and fell back off as Olivia turned and grabbed her by the ankle. Melina kicked at her frantically, still trying to get some distance and grab another of her painful tricks. The kicks of her high heels slammed into the brunette’s tits and face until she finally tore herself free. It came at a small price as her high heel and one of her fishnets were yanked off her shapely leg.

“You’re not getting away from me, you sleazy little escape artist,” Olivia fumed. She moved after Melina who was trying to get to her feet, but missing one of her heels threw her off too much. She kicked her last shoe away as Olivia grabbed the interlocked rings and shoved them into her, the tight circles forcefully squeezing around her tits. The tight fit made Melina’s breasts swell up and she screamed, trying to pull them off from her sitting position.

“Looks like you dropped this, you glorified birthday clown!” Olivia the Magnificent snapped as she stepped behind the struggling Melina. She pulled out the fishnet legging and wrapped it around the blonde’s face, holding both ends and pulling back and forth. Melina screamed as her own sexy attire was dragged across her face, lightly scratching her lovely features all over like an especially dull cheese grater.

Olivia grinned at her handiwork, but Melina showed she had one more literal trick up her lack of sleeves. She focused enough to flick her wrist and summon a deck of cards into her palm. She held up her hand and gave a precise tense of her fingers to send them spraying into Olivia’s face. She sputtered and swatted at the offending 52-pickup, letting Melina slip out from the fishnet trap. She grabbed one of her discarded heels and turned around to swing it, slamming the hard heel into Olivia’s ribs. The brunette gave a husky groan as it bruised up her side.

“The only stage you belong on is a strip club’s!” Melina snarled as she thrust a foot out, catching Olivia in the crotch for payback from earlier. The brunette huffed noisily and rolled onto her side, but she grabbed another wand from the ground. She turned back just enough to aim it and hit the hidden switch, making it extend to twice the size and ramming Melina in her crotch as well. Both ladies gasped and fell to the stage clutching their pussies, trying to overcome the pain first.

As the first to fall, Olivia was the one to rise a few moments later. The audience cheered and clapped at the prospect of more from the topless magicians as the brunette grabbed her rival by the hair, dragging her unceremoniously towards a long, suspended vertical crate.

“Time for your finale, skank!” Olivia threatened as she threw open the top of the box. She grunted as she lifted the listless blonde like a corpse. Milena weakly struggled back but Olivia slammed a quick punch into her kidney and body slammed her into the box. She quickly slammed the lid shut, leaving only Milena’s lower legs and head sticking out of it.

“You all know this one,” Olivia gloated as she produced a shiny metal saw from behind the box. Milena’s eyes went wide in horror. “Let’s see if we can’t pull off a more painful version.”

The details were left out of sight, but the brunette star started to saw the box in half. It was an old trick, but the right twists could make the dull prop’s teeth still sting the trapped Milena’s belly awfully badly. Her legs kicked and her head thrashed, tossing her blonde hair around until the slowly grating saw went out the bottom. With a proud grin, the topless Olivia shoved the two halves apart as Melina had tears running down her cheeks.

“Tadaa! Two whores for the price of one! Can’t beat that deal!” Olivia laughed. The audience cheered wildly as she blew kisses to them before turning to flip off Melina.

“Looks like show’s over for you,” she boasted as she strut up to her captured rival. Melina still sniffled from the pain to her stomach as Olivia stood in front of her face. She gripped the box and wheeled the blonde towards her until her face was shoved into her groin. Melina’s eyes went wide as Olivia peeled aside the crotch of her outfit, forcing her to eat out her pussy as she struggled.

“I always knew you weren’t good for anything but head. Now how about you let the audience know who’s the real magician here and who’s just a stripper with a top hat?”

Melina felt humiliated but refused to give in. As her head thrashed in place, she felt her feet catch on something. It kicked off of the thick curtain, sending her lower half wheeling behind the distracted Olivia. The blonde’s disembodied legs kicked her hard in the side, sending Olivia staggering away from her top half. She stumbled awkwardly on her heels until she unexpectedly landed right on a trap door, falling a few feet beneath the stage.

Unfortunately, she didn’t even fit all the way. She got halfway down when her huge, naked tits caught on the edge, leaving her suspended and stuck in the trap.

“HEY! Who measured this thing!?” she objected, pushing and pulling in an attempt to wriggle free. Melina quickly caught her other half with her foot, turning them around and shifting her weight to snap her halves back together. She shoved the box back open and stormed after the stuck Olivia.

“Let me give you a hand. Or FOOT!” she snapped as she kicked the brunette in the face. The charging soccer kick was enough to knock Olivia silly, slumping against the ill-fitting hole in the stage. The audience cheered the simple brutality as Melina ran her hands through her sweaty hair, thinking on what to do with her dumbstruck opponent.

With a final flash of inspiration, she grabbed the brunette and dragged her behind the fallen table. She had a large box set up much like Olivia’s saw trick, only hers was set up vertically. Melina opened it like a miniature closet and stuffed the witless rival inside, leaving just enough space for her head to stick out of the top.

“Time for your show-stopper!” Milena threatened as she reached behind the box. She came back with several long swords, getting the audience to ooh and gasp in surprise. She flashed them a quick winning smile, even if her makeup was streaked with sweat and tears.

“Don’t worry! They’re just plastic. Just part of the show,” she assured, smacking one against her leg with a rather dull thumping. It got a few relieved sighs and chuckles.

“Doesn’t mean it can’t hurt like a bitch!”

She stabbed one into the slot on the box, usually reserved for a volunteer for the audience. There was a specific spot one could stand in that would avoid all the fake blades, but the limply slumping Olivia had no such benefit. She screamed as the dull plastic point rammed into her side, sending a stinging pain through her belly. Milena went to work drawing and ramming in more of the fake blades. They wouldn’t go all the way in, but she took special pride in jabbing some of them into the nearly nude Olivia’s tits on the upper half. The bruising jabs were enough to leave Olivia trapped and in tears like she had with Milena.

“As for this last one… I usually go below the belt on this.” Milena took out her big finale; the last weapon behind the box was a comically phallic shaft; effectively a dildo on a sword hilt. It got some more laughs as Milena glared at Olivia.

“But I think you deserve some more facetime with it.”

Olivia shook her head weakly, barely conscious as it was when Milena shoved it into her mouth. She gagged as the huge dildo rammed down her throat, getting her to choke and drool until her eyes rolled back. Her head hung limply on the top of the box, falling unconscious to the audience going wild. Milena turned back, folding an arm over her bare breasts and bowing to the crowd with a grin.

“Thank you! Sorry if we’re cutting it a bit short, but I’m sure you all got your money’s worth! Special thanks to my slutty assistant here!” Milena gestured to the drooling, skewered Olivia who was being wheeled out by some stage hands. She took one more bow before the curtain fell, sore but smug about her victory.

It was no surprise when it was all over the local papers. Some called it a scandal while most praised the show completely. It was no surprise when other theaters started calling Milena non-stop after the shocking performance. What did come as a surprise was when they all started asking for The Amazing Melina to perform with Olivia the Magnificent again after fans demanded more after their amazing show.