Return To Gravity Falls (Patreon)

I’ve been working on this one for a long while now. I’d poked at it the tiniest bit in the past but it took me a while to really get the pace and tone I was looking for. Writing it as journal felt best, especially since I’m a big fan of the series and while I didn’t want it to feel completely like fanfiction, my last exposure to the show was reading the comic and journal. Then it was how much would Dipper skim over in his journal and how far would I lean into things being lewd vs true to the original setting. I touch it real briefly, but I wanted it to sort of be its own thing; in the spirit of the show’s humor, but can get much more sexual by aging up the characters and the world. Most of all I think it came out pretty hilarious with some interesting spins on wrestling action. I could see doing more sometime with this setting with getting into more overtly sexual  scenarios.

This is the journal of Dipper Pines. I won't bore you with the details, but we pretty much saved the world once. By "we," I mean me, my twin sister Mabel, my great-uncles Stanley and Stanford among a bunch of other people... and things. Again, details aside, it included a few clones, a giant robot, and a multi-bear taking on an otherworldly thing made of nightmares. Thankfully, that's in the past.

It's been seven years since that (very) fateful Summer in Gravity Falls. It's an Oregon mountain town where for reasons we don't understand, everything that is strange is drawn there. The woods and lakes and even some of the local stores have hidden creatures and relics laying around. It's no wonder the wifi's so crappy out there.

It was our first summer break since we went to college and Mabel insisted we go back. We made a load of friends and memories there so I was onboard. Plus I've kind of got a thing for the paranormal now. Not like... a THING thing! It's just really interesting. Like the stuff on Ghost Harassers and Mysterious Mysteries, except in my experience it's usually way grosser.

We took the bus up to Gravity Falls and Mabel immediately starts catching up with people. Grunkle Stan had made The Mystery Shack, a cabin turned tourist trap where we spent our last summer sleeping in the attic. The gruncles left the place behind to go travel the world looking for even bigger mysteries, leaving it to our buddy Soos. He's this big dopey guy who loves the crap out of that place. It's a little goofier than I remember (though the Sas-Crotch is still there; stay classy, Mystery Shack) but everything that counts is still in the same place. It's all hugs and warm welcomes when we get inside; Soos hugs me. Soos hugs Mabel. Soos goes for a double on both of us. Mabel gets too into it and hugs me again. Awkward sibling hugs definitely got more awkward in the more recent years. Mabel's lost her braces but kept her skirts and sweaters. She also grew in a pair of double-D's and put on some surprising muscle. We share a lot of the same pretty face, but Mabel was the one who never sat still. She ran everywhere and wrestled everything she could, especially when she was excited about something. Which was all the time. I'm kind of the brains of the pair while she got the brawn... and the body. And the butt you know what I'm gonna move on!

We didn't waste any time catching up with our old friends; and enemies. I wanted to check in on some former threats but a lot of them have cleaned up their act. Friendly monsters and reformed maniacs are still in check and even with the Gruncles gone, there's still that lingering strangeness that everyone's just okay with in town. The town's basically the same as it was except now they put up gnome repellent around their trash cans. As far as actual, old-fashioned human friends, they seem to be doing great and are equally psyched to see us.

There's Candy Chiu and Grenda Grendinator, Mabel's bffs. Candy's a cute and skinny Asian dork and uh... well, let's say Grenda's engaged and I'm surprised. Huge and wide chick who's voice is still deeper than mine. Heart of gold but she once swung around my sofa like a baseball bat. Then there's Wendy. If you imagined a tall and lanky redhead lumberjack chick, that's her. She part-times at The Shack, pretending to work rather than go to college.

Then there's Pacifica. She was the richest bitch in town until some supernatural stuff happened and she became the third or fourth richest person in town. Heartbreaking, right? But she got over it. She's a lot less spoiled and more down to earth, so while she still has something bitchy to say she seems to say it with good intentions. She's also like... way hotter than I remember. And I remember her being pretty hot. Kind of like cheerleader with a little less bimbo and some fashion taste from the late 90s and she's a little taller than me which is really nice because her tits are a little pushed up. Oof... is it hot in here? I feel like it's hot in this journal right now. Stepping back! Not the point, Dipper!

So we spent a couple days catching up. We figured we had plenty of time (and not because we're friends with a time traveler), so me and Mabel just took a lot of walks around town or the woods. Mabel even knocked out a were-squirrel that got the jump on us! It's good to know she can still keep up with those cryptid punks. Especially once we ran into what we did...

On day three, Grenda burst into the shack during breakfast. She threw a flier at us, and I've never known a girl who could bean me in the face with a paper ball hard enough to knock me out of my seat. I'm surprised it didn't bruise… Mabel reads it while I get some ice and she flips out too much to explain. Lots of running around and screaming “Hell yea! Wrestle! Wrestle! Wrestle!” I'd seen her do the same thing while reading a cereal box, so I had to gather the note to see for myself while Mabel was shadow-boxing and making "punch noises."

Valhallan Wrestling presents: Wrestlevania! All wrestling! All ladies! All all! See the title fight of the millenium that'll rock your world's patoot off! *We were going to write "ass" on the flier but we weren't allowed to AH SHIT! Anyway! Coming to Gravity Falls this weekend only!

"So just a women's wrestling league," I asked, already regretting the words.

"JUST wrestling? Dip, this could be my big chance! You know I always wanted to wrestle! I've even kept a bunch of wrestler names in my diary! The Mabillionaire, Mabe In Japan, Princess Sparklepocalypse..."

"It's not your big chance. They're doing a show. You saw it. It's one weekend only. They're just passing through, so I don't think they're recruiting unless you want to cruise Oregon in a bus full of sweaty strangers."

"Sounds like a dream come true!" Grenda blurted.

"So you're saying you don't want to go?" Mabel asked, finally calming down a little.

"Whoa, I didn't say that!" I might have been underselling it a little. Mabel's the one with a laundry list of crushes, but I definitely got one of my first boners from a female wrestler on tv. Annnnd now that's in my journale forever. I'm starting to think this is going to be one of those private journals rather than one with a mysterious symbol that I leave in the woods. But what's not to like? They're usually gorgeous. They're confident and strong and fit and are full of confidence. Y'know. Everything I'm not. So kind of a soft spot. It didn’t take a lot of nagging from Mabel to convince me… not that it stopped her.

Mabel's quick to rally the troops and gets most of the girls to come along. Me and her, Grenda, Candy, Wendy and Pacifica meet up in the parking lot outside the newly built arena. Gravity Falls doesn't have any sports teams or anything like that, so they didn't go nuts on the budget. It's honestly more of a real big gymnasium. It's not like there's a huge showing for the event, but Gravity Falls has more than its share of gawkers and yokels that will pay to see just about anything more exciting than a cow that got loose. Valhallan Wrestling drew out a good 50 to 100 people that for their one-night show, so I hoped it was worth it for them.

It was sure worth it for me. Once you learned to shut out the roaring audience (Mabel in particular) and the rambling announcers, it was a really good show. The girls were gimmicky but hot and they knew how to make that fight look pretty real. Pacifica acted like she was too highbrow for this kind of thing at first but she started getting into it when Patricia Twoface betrayed Turnbuckle Turnbull.

"What?! Boooo! Why would she do that!?" Pacifica blurted out.

"Pacifica, they named her 'Twoface.' It's not because her father passed on the last name of Twoface through generations like Northwest. It's because wrestling is dumb and shallow and that's why it's great."

"Wait! Here comes Florence Von FoldingChair, the folding chair vampire!" Mabel shouted as she jumped to her feet. "What's she gonna do!? ...IS THAT A FREAKIN' FOLDING CHAIR!? HOLY SHIT! These writers are geniuses! Dipper! Use your dumb book to write some wrestling scripts for us!"

I explained to Mabel that my journal wasn't for that. It was for keeping track of our adventures and visit to Gravity Falls for this summer. I doubted that a passing indy wrestling troupe on tour was the wildest thing we'd see all summer break. But Mabel's Mabel. She's always hyped for everything and she kept talking about how much she wanted to be a wrestler or an MMA fighter or a grizzly bear someday, and trying to get our friends onboard.

It was a few matches into the evening show when the sun went down. Everything got that neat red glow outside the windows... which suddenly went black. Pitch black. Supernatural oh shit black. I saw people around us turning gray and slowing down until they were this faded color, almost a frozen painting of themselves. Out of the audience, me and the five girls were all that seemed to be moving normally. Out of the wrestlers... none of them were normal.

The moonlight peeked in from the skylight and as it hit the ring, the fighters changed. Brianne Shi and Valkyrie Valdera were just about to lock up when the moonbeam hit them. Valkyrie was a big buff redhead (hot), but in the light she let out this furious warcry. Bloodless wounds appeared on her skin and some leather armor and a horned helmet grew over her wrestling tights. Brianne's eyes went all white, her dark hair flowing in the air like it was whipped by the wind as she let out this piercing shriek. It shattered the glass around her, killing the spotlights as the girls finally caught on something was really wrong.

"Dude, these special effects are sick," Wendy chuckled in the low light.

"It's like I can really feel the broken glass in my hair," Grenda agreed cheerily.

"I don't think those are special effects," Pacifica said, cringing as she flicked some glass off Grenda's head.

"And I don't think those names are crappy puns!" I pointed out the other wrestlers who were turning into their own sorts of monsters; a minotaur, a witch, a classic example of a chupacabra, some... I dunno. Whatever you call a generic monster lady with two heads. Point is, shit got freaky real fast and my boner didn't go away so much as it just got confused.

Once the transforming performers were done entering monster mode, there was a glow around the announcer's table. The announcer herself fell onto it and a blue-tinted ghost floated out of her body. She was a slightly exaggerated replica of the same person; short build, shoulder-length curls, an excited smile on her semi-translucent face, wide hips, and a big chest in a small top. She raised a phantasmal microphone to her grinning mouth.

"Champions of Gravity Falls! Welcome to Wrestlevania, the eternal tournament of torment! I'll be your ghostess hostess, Boolabelle, and you..." She cast out a hand and her blue glow appeared around us, floating us over the other fans towards the ring. "Are the latest additions to we accursed gladiators!"

"Oh my gosh!" Mabel gasped as we were set down at the edge of the ring. "Dipper, we actually get to wrestle!"

"THAT was your takeaway here?!" I said more firmly. "What are you talking about, spooky tits?! We're not champions of anything."

"Many victories," she mused, her eyes glowing bright. It showed the various things and people we'd fought when we were in a tight spot: cults, demons, literal photocopies of myself... I guess we'd won some fights when you thought about it. "Guardians of your realm. Seekers of battle." I glared at Mabel as I knew where to pin that one. "So were our fated here before their lust for battle and victory overcame them. Thus we are cursed to battle forevermore by a wrestle witch."

"I cannot believe those exist," I cut in. "Also, I don't wrestle. I even called your show stupid and badly written." Boolabelle scowled at that comment. Maybe I was a little harsh on the "I don't want to" play.

"Then you may go first. All of you shall compete against our gathered warriors. And if you fail, you shall join our troupe of the immortal gladiators."

"Eh. I've been threatened by worse curses," Wendy said with a shrug. "So let's shut up and do this."

"Excellent! Then let the sexy wrestling contest begin!" the ghost declared.

"Alright, I think if we... wait, the what?" I didn't get my question answered until I was poofed into the ring. The ghost floated down in a referee shirt that did almost nothing to cover her giant spectral boobs. I was up against Turnbuckle Turnbull, and while the lady was pretty big and burly before, she was not a full blown minotaur. Her huge rack hung halfway out of her stretched out spandex and broad shoulders and thick muscles didn't distract me from the large cow head that had replaced her human one. She huffed some steam out through her nostrils as I backed away a few steps.

"Okay, look. I know you girls are cursed and everything, but we can figure out some way to free you. If you just surrender now we can get out and-" The bell rang and it was clear Turnbull wasn't backing down. Luckily I'd been in enough adventures that I'm not the helpless wimp I appear to be. Training with a bunch of Manotaurs really pays off quick. The big busty cowgirl rushed at me and I baseball slid between her legs. She rammed head-first into the turnbuckle with a ring-shaking slam, dazing her for a second. Not as much as I'd hoped, but at least these immortal wrestlers could still be hurt.

I dove at her leg and tripped her to the mats, hurrying to try and pin her after the reckless charge. Of course I barely got a "One!" from the referee ghost before her thick leg kicked me away. I caught myself on the ropes just for her to grab and slam me back onto the mats, clearly and wildly stronger than me. I was winded seconds into the match as she lifted me back up and locked me in a suspended chokehold. I kicked and grabbed at anything I could until I heard her gasp.

"Watch the udders, little man," she growled in my ear, clearly annoyed by something. Of course, if she was a cow... I quickly grabbed onto both her breasts, squeezing her nipples with all I had. She let out this bellowing moo as her grip got weaker and I felt my fingers growing wet. It wasn't the proudest way to get out of it, but it was working! I squirmed out and landed on my feet as the blushing, mooing monster was putty in my hands.

"That's it, Dipper! Work those titties!" Mabel encouraged.

"Helping or hurting, Mabel!?" I shouted back. They certainly were the biggest boobs I'd handled in all my life (there aren't many) but I was doing my best. I stretched them out as I popped them out of her top, gushing out a fresh glass' worth of milk onto the mats. I might have overextended myself on that one because her eyes started to roll back and her mouth hung open. With a wild shudder, she fell forward and landed right on top of me. I could feel a warm stream of her cum running down my leg as well as the milk as she smothered my face underneath he, kicking and flailing. She was dead weight now, but that weight was a great way to pin me.

"One! Two! Three! Turnbull wins!" Boolabelle declared, ringing the bell once again. "That's one for the Valhallans!" She summoned up a corresponding scoreboard, complete with Valhallans vs Mortals."

"No fair! Wrestling doesn't have scoreboards!" Mabel shouted  as Turnbull floated off of me, glowing with the ghostly ref's power. I coughed out a mouthful of milk and tit sweat as I was poofed back to my "team." Nice first impression, Dipper. Real inspiring.

While the other girls just sort of avoided eye contact, the ghost teleported Mabel in next. She was up against Valkyrie Valdera, the butchered-looking viking snarling and ready across from her. The bell rang and while the warrior monster ran right for Mabel, my smaller sis surprised her with an uppercut. Valkyrie staggered and nearly went down in one lucky shot. One thing that Mabel had definitely picked up from Grunkle Stan was an interest in boxing.

"Woo! Princess Sparklepocalypse, baby!" Mabel gloated as she socked the warrior woman in the stomach. Despite her old leather armor, it was impractically skimpy enough that it basically gave her zero protection. Mabel boxed the taller amazon back into the ropes before she snarled again and hit Mabel with a slap across the face.

"Ha! You hit like a dried up zombie! Let me show ya how to hit like a GIRL!" Mabel took another swing but the cursed wrestler managed to dodge around this one. She speared into Mabel's middle, pinning my twin to the mat with their busts mashed together (yes I noticed; so what?). Mabel shoved and elbowed at her but couldn't get her off of her as the ghost started to count. She got to "Two!" when I caught Mabel's eye and pointed towards the eternally wounded Valkyrie... and her very obvious weak spots. Mabel's eyes lit up and she reached for one of the bloodless wounds in Valkyrie's chest... and tickled them.

I guess the exposed muscle tissue would be really sensitive to that as the monster woman pulled back in a hurry. She cackled as she broke the pin, but Mabel kept up the tickle attack to keep her on the run. "Stop it!" Valkyrie pleaded through her laughter. "These are the wounds I gained in my dying day of battle that shall never heal!"

"Well they're not the slits you should be worrying about, sister!" Mabel suddenly switched tactics, field goal kicking the viking chick in the pussy. With a huge gasp she fell to the mats, clutching her crotch and eyes crossed with pain. Mabel quickly hopped on the stunned woman's stomach and got an easy pinfall from there.

"Now that's what I call a heel turn!" Mabel boasted, flexing for her cheering friends. The score tied up as they were summoned back out of the ring.

Pacifica was warped in next. Even if she looked annoyed to be there, at least she looked good in her tight top and leggings. On the other hand, she was going up against Florence Von FoldingChair. The woman had gone from wearing some makeup and a back leotard to a full on vampire: skinny build, big chest, but giant ravenous fangs to go with her blood red eyes. I didn't like her odds as Florence went shooting across the ring at ridiculous speed. She nailed Pacifica with a clothesline that knocked her back into her corner, but when she ran in for another blow Pacifica actually ducked out of her way. The speeding vampire just ran tits-first into the turnbuckle, knocking the wind out of her.

"You should watch where you're going! This' what you get rushing around like that, bitch!" Pacifica ranted, clearly pissed after that first cheap shot. She grabbed Florence's dark hair and started bouncing her face off the ringpost, knocking her silly as she really brought the catfighting into wrestling. I think that threw Florence off for a while but she finally elbowed Pacifica in the stomach. Von FoldingChair used the moment to zip around behind her, grabbing Pacifica and biting into her neck. The blonde girl screamed before she pulled on her attacker's hair, shoving them apart before she got in too deep.

"A real blue blood, I see," Florence purred, licking her reddened lips. Pacifica scowled back at her as she held the lightly bleeding bite.

"Don't think it doesn't mean I can't kick a skank's ass!" Pacifica warned, going to slap Florence across the face. She caught the arm and flipped Pacifica over, landing her on her tailbone. The blonde winced as Florence vanished in another burst of speed, reappearing a moment later with a weapon in hand.

"Pacifica! Watch out!" Mabel yelled. "Von FoldingChair's got some kind of sitting device!"

"Folding chair!" I shouted over her. "How do you not get that by now?!"

The vampire went in for the chair shot, but Pacifica heard our warning. She rolled over and threw up her legs, catching Florence in the stomach. With a lean back and a firm kick, she launched the vampire over her head. She got some real hangtime, because the vampire flew high enough that she was impaled on the turnbuckle. She landed crotch-first on the turnbuckle and let out a miserable howl as the metal rammed her in the snatch.

"Well it's no wooden stake, but good enough for me!" Pacifica laughed as she scaled the ropes and grabbed her by the neck. What can I say? I've got a thing for a busty blonde wrestling for my soul who can make folklore references. She jumped off and slammed the vampire's back across the mats before sealing things up with a chest-sitting pin.

"Now THAT'S why you don't mess with a Northwest!" Pacifica boasted. "You get sued or you get beat the fuck up!"

Despite the winning streak, our next couple matches didn't go so great. Grenda should have been a shoe-in, but she was up against Fran Kinsteen. The green woman was almost twice as big as our team's muscle, and while she tossed Fran around a few times it wasn't enough to put down the undead beast of a green-skinned wrestler (who looked more like She Hulk than a Frankenstein's monster if you asked me).

Candy went against the snake-haired woman with a lucha mask, Medusuplex. Candy was a slippery little fighter but she couldn't out slippery her serpentine style. Candy also went to pull her hair and that didn't work out so great. That left us as 2 to 3 with the monsters in the lead. It came down to Wendy and Brianne Shi to make the tie... I guess.

"So what happens if we tie?" I asked the floating referee as she summoned the last fighters.

"Well, MOST parties of warriors have the decency to arrive in odd numbers," Boolabelle grumbled. "I suppose we'd compromise. What if you live in immortal torment with us for a hundred years or so? That's reasonable, right?"

Definitely wouldn't work for me. I had plans for this summer. My mind started to race about where we were and what she was and I think I had an idea. "What about a tiebreaker? You're an immortal wrestling troupe. You've got to have some kind of champion or something, right?"

Boolabelle tapped her chin. "Perhaps... but let's see if you can get that far to begin with."

"I'm not too worried." I'd seen Wendy out-fight a doppelganger and rangle a flying eyeball. Easily one of our heavy hitters. Sure enough as the chalky fighter came for my childhood crush all fangs and claws, Wendy just kneed her in the gut and dragged her down with an arm bar. Lot of old feelings stirred up as they rolled around on the mats, pulling hair and punching at each other. It was extra impressive when Wendy actually caught her around the waist and slammed Brianne with a perfect German suplex. She got out of the pin just to wail at Wendy, making her wince and cover her ears like the rest of us at the banshee's scream. It stunned her, but not as much as she'd hoped when Wendy slammed her with a headbutt that put Brianne out cold on the mats. We were all tied up!

"Very well," Boolabelle sighed as she floated her last fighter out of the ring. "A tie's a tie, so you have your final opponent..." The short little ghost suddenly twitched and spasmed as her little wisp of a tail stretched out into two monstrously huge legs. An extra set of arms burst out of her sides, ripping open her upper body to reveal a massive, muscular body about nine feet tall with four beefy arms and huge tusks. She went on speaking in a booming, gruffer voice. "ME! The true champion and keeper of the curse of Valkyrie Wrestling!"

"Called it!" I shouted out. "No such thing as a wrestle witch!"

"Now who among you puny mortals shall face me?!" I glanced over our group. Even Mabel looked pretty uncertain about this one.

"Wellllp. Guess I'm gonna wrestle for eternity," Wendy mused. "I always figured I'd end up doing something for eternity."

"We're not beat yet," Candy encouraged as she rubbed her snakebit hand. "There has to be a way to win this!"

"Well I don't think we can beat her like that," I admitted. "And we can't outthink her because she's wrestling. It's all brute force and gimmicks... which means..."

You might notice a few pages missing from this journal. I needed the spare paper to write things down and pass them off to the girls to execute the plan. I approached the ring and raised a hand. "Ahem. Hey, uh, wrestle ghost? Since you're like the champion of centuries, is it allowed if we let two of us fight in this one?"

Boolabelle rubbed her chin with her her two right hands. "Very well. But no more than that."

"Perfect. Then our fighters will be Pacifica Northwest and Mabel Pines!"

"Actually I'm going by Mabel 'The Grizzly Teddy Bear' Pines now..."

"Yea. Fine. She's dumb name instead. Just get in there!"

Pacifica and Mabel were clearly outmatched but they went in as bravely as they could. They split up to go on either side as soon as the bell rang, but Boolabelle's eyes rolled in opposite directions to follow them. Her extra arms grabbed out and punched each of them in the stomach as the upper arms caught them by the hair. Boo banged their heads together, but the girls both struck out. Mabel punched her in one of her hefty boobs and Pacifica kicked her in the crotch, the double hit getting her to let them go. Mabel cupped her hands together and Pacifica jumped off her palms, launching her high enough to knee Boo in the chin. Her head reeled but Pacifica just grabbed her by her flowing blue hair and pulled her head back down. Mabel was down there waiting with a headbutt to the giant ghost's nose, even if it made them both go staggering. Even Mabel's thick skull has its limits.

Their teamwork kept paying off in saving their skins, but they were fighting an uphill battle all the way. They were taking a lot of hits to pull off anything heavy-hitting enough to actually stun Boolabelle, and they didn't have the same supernatural stamina that the champion of monsters did. That was why Wendy and Candy came sliding into the ring behind Mabel and Pacifica. Wendy had even grabbed a two-by-four from the props under the ring.

"You! I said two and no more!" Boo bellowed. Wendy ignored her completely as Mabel looked confused.

"What are you talking about?" she managed right before Wendy swung the board that snapped in half across Mabel's back. Mabel let out a big scream as she went falling to the mats.

"Dipper should have picked me to fight, you bitch!" Wendy yelled, a furious look on her face. "I'd have already won this match by now!"

"And I am jealous of your outgoing personality!" Candy added huffily. "It is why we have formed the Anti-Mabel Stable!"

"Noooo!" Mabel moaned as she rolled in pain. "It even rhyyyymes!" Candy and Wendy started stomping on her while she was down and Pacifica backed away from the sudden treachery. Boolabelle stared at the action as Candy even started to tear off Mabel's clothes, stripping her in the middle of the ring.

"Oh..." Boo muttered. "Oh... what a turn of events! I can't believe it! Where's security!" she gushed excitedly. "I can hear the audience booing through the barrier in time and space! What an absolute travesty folks!" Boo even started to shrink as he monstrous face smiled with glee. She couldn't help but go along with one of the gimmickiest things in wrestling: betraying your best friends for no real reason and interrupting a big important match. The girls were following the script perfectly. Boo was turning more into her smaller announcer/referee form just as Pacifica finished climbing the top rope. She'd been the only one to really use them before, presumably from some cheerleading practice in high school.

While Mabel was hamming up her beatdown, she had the ghost's full attention when the busty blonde jumped off the ropes and caught Boo around the neck. She slammed her face and tits first into the mats, bouncing her off with a miserable little flop. Mabel was quick to roll out from under Wendy and Candy as they stopped their fake attack, sitting on Boo's face while Pacifica mounted her stomach. "One! Two! Three!" they counted together. With a thrilled cheer, they hugged each other as the bell rang over their heads. It echoed like an ancient churchbell rather than a ring bell as the curse was presumably lifted. I whistled and waved for them to hurry back out of the ring, seeing that the darkened sky was starting to light up again. Mabel ran back out in her underwear with the others as we ducked backstage, letting reality slowly seep back into the arena.

I did my best to not watch Mabel getting dressed while things came back to normal. The monster wrestlers turned back into humans, looking a little confused but relieved. The announcer was randomly knocked out in the middle of the ring, so every wrestler just dogpiled her and beat the crap out of her before tossing her naked into the audience. They appreciated that as the wrestlers went backstage and spotted us. We had their gratitude for lifting the curse and offered us free tickets to their shows, not that we'd likely be where they were. They offered us to join, since they still felt like wrestling for fun for a few more years, but even Mabel had enough for now.

We left the show a little early to beat the traffic and escape the cursed battlefield. We all went back to Candy's place for snacks and ice packs for our assorted bruises. I uh... also might have gotten a kiss from Pacifica. For the plan and from missing me and... just because. I wouldn't have thought so a few years ago, but we do make a pretty good couple. I mean team.

So between that and not having to hear about The Grizzly Teddy Bear Pines, it sounds like a pretty good adventure. It's nice to know that Gravity Falls is still as weird as ever, if a little bit sexier. Like it's grown up with the rest of us. As long as I'm not having to sleep with some female gnomes or live with a dryad like some bad session of Dungeons, Dungeons, And More Dungeons, I could get used to this kind of strangeness.