Mariopocalypse Part 2 (Patreon)

Had it mostly done so wrapped this one up today. Not much to say, apart from my brother and I loved to shriek "chance time!" like old Mario Party games. I'm also submitting my first Winterfang story for publishers soon, so hard editing that for a while





Peach and Andrew rested up until the next day before packing up for Rose Town. Andy figured it was closest and sounded like the least risky, but Peach didn't seem so sure. She still left the chunk of shell behind and under its tarp, but took a few scales in a pouch for samples and rigged a few Bob-ombs underneath it. It would kill anybody going for the stuff without doing more than lightly scorch the shell.

The place was fairly visible from a distance. Walls of old brick stood irregularly around the collection of wood and steel shacks. Weary and dust-painted figures leaned over the rails of watchtowers, manning cannons or packing some sort of crude firearm. Old and withered trees formed a small forest off to one side before it vanished up into some mountains. "Used to be called the Rose Woods," Peach called back over the engine, somehow picking up his staring. "One of Smithy's boys took it over, and whatever he's doing, he just seems to open fire on anyone who comes close."

"Smithy's around?" Andy pried, and Peach pointed out towards the mountains beyond the woods. He followed her finger and saw that looming higher than the mountains, so high that it touched the clouds, there was a colossal sword. It sloped at an angle, as if some kind of god had wielded it before sharply but lazily jamming it into the earth like a sheathe. A battered and lifeless face, vaguely monstrous, was visible even from so far away, scarred over and blasted from some ancient force.

"His return was why there's almost no stars in the sky. Just remember; you can't be big in this world and not expect someone to come after you," Peach sighed as she wheeled into the broad gates, a wooden rose mounted on top of its archway. "The Game Over hit everything, and some of us took it better than others." She unstraddled her kart and gestured at the blade. "The sun moves around like it's got a mind of its own these days. You ever get lost, the Godsword's corpse makes a good landmark. The blade's angle points towards the old castle, and a little to its left and over the hills is the hideout."

Peach hefted their sack of supplies over her shoulder and led the way. Andy looked around as he saw Rose Town was a messy mix up of retro monsters of all sorts. Toads, Koopa Troopas, Shy Guys, Goombas, even some Cheep Cheeps and Bloopers trudged around, haggling and grumbling with each other. A scar-faced Pidgit sold Chain Chomps in a pen, the savage and frothing metal beasts lunging and snapping at Andrew when he walked by. A fat Toad walked among them, cursing and whacking their heads with an iron rod that created dense clanging noises that drove them back.

Shy Guys spoke in loud whispers, the ragged figures showing only masks and their robes so that Andy couldn't tell if they were staring at him when they passed. Various booths were set up, trading goods or serving food and drink. A shouting match broke out between a drunk Goomba and a scrawny blue Pianta, which ended when the Goomba leapt up and buried his fangs into the tropical creature's throat. People hardly looked up at the sight.

"The guards don't worry about trouble inside the walls," Peach explained. "There's worse and bigger things out there. Admiral Bobbery runs the troops, but he's too busy keeping them in line and the dangerous ones out to handle the little stuff."

"So who are we seeing about-" Peach gave him a hushing gesture and met his eye. "About this stuff?"

"Old friend. Smart guy. He'll either know what to do with it or who to go to. Just keep your head down and act natural. None of that..." she gestured as she tried to find the word. "Game talk, okay?" At least the kid was sprayed in sand from all the driving around so he didn't stand out that badly. He was still in his casual clothes, but she'd given him a spare jacket and a pouch of his own share of food and water (he'd had to hang onto it tightly when a mousey creature tried to run off with it).

She reached one of the larger shacks by the end of town. A few large tanks that reminded him of steam pumps or septic tanks stuck out from the back, and a strange white slime spread across the top of the doorframe. When they drew close, it stretched to either side, a fanged, demonic face appearing on either end.

"Busssssinesss," one of them hissed wetly.

"It's me, Stretch," Pink said firmly. "I need the professor's advice."

The twisted faces squinted at her as if confused by her words. One grunted dismissively while the other nodded. "Yesss. And the boy?"

"I'm Player," he offered, waving uneasily at the mutation of a Boo. When their natural disasters were magical, he supposed even the Mushroom Kingdom's ghosts didn't take them well. He was just proud to remember his code name.

"Company. He's got questions too. We can pay," Peach said. "You going to keep me waiting, Stretch?"

The twisted Boo gave another gurgle and retracted back into its meaningly white stain writhing above the door. Peach gestured for Andrew to follow. Inside, the shack was a brilliant mess. Junk and machine parts were all over, and there was a whirring of old engines or power tools here and there. Several more Boos were there, mostly in their normal state but with a few in similar misshapen stages of melted, disfigured, or bloated. They floated around carrying tools or papers, avoiding his and Peach's eyes as they went along their subdued grunt work.

There was an old bald man, or mostly bald beyond a single shock of white hair in the middle of his head. His fat nose was buried in some blueprint paper, scrawling rapidly through his thick glasses wrapped in a filthy lab coat. One of the female Boos floated over to him and whispered in his ear, getting a delighted "AHAHA!" from the man before he spun around in his chair.

"Pink! My girl!" he laughed in a thick, slightly nasally tone. He had most of his teeth missing, which combined with his dirty face and unusual hair looked as if explosions had gone off in his face periodically throughout his life. "Wonderful to see you well! Wonderful!" It was perhaps the first happy-looking person Andrew had seen since he'd come here, unless you counted the blood-thirsty monsters about to kill him.

"Well is a strong word," Peach noted dryly, but she shook the short, wiry man's hand. "How's work, professor?"

"Oh, busy! Busy busy busy," he grinned, as if that were the best news he could have. "Everyone wants something known, something built. The ghosts here do excellent work. They're always in such good spirits!" Andrew snickered at that while Peach remained stone-faced. The professor grinned and gestured at him. "Ahaha! Your new friend! I like him! Has a sense of humor, unlike everyone around here."

"He's new," Peach said grimly. "Part of why we're here. I have something I wanted you to look at. In private."

"Certainly, certainly," the professor jabbered, hopping off his stool and standing about half of Peach's height. "Into my office, then." He started to waddle off when Andrew saw something familiar; a large red container with a dim bulb on its base, and a long tube on the side...

"Hey... isn't that the Poltergust?" Andrew asked, pointing at the elaborately scifi vacuum. There was a crash as the professor ran back towards Andrew, throwing himself in the way of the invention so hard he nearly fell over in the process.

"HAHAHA! What!? No! My boy, that's a simple vacuum cleaner! So dusty in here! Dusty dusty dusty! Why, who couldn't use a vacuum cleaner in this day and age!? Very dirty, all this sand! Dirty dirty dirty!" He laughed enthusiastically as he shoved Andrew away from the famous ghost-busting vacuum, his old limbs barely budging the boy but taking the message. "Bootholomew! Hold all my callers!"

They entered the small wooden office, an old dirty glass window across the top of the door. It was taped together after being broken at least once, but the stenciled letters of "Professor E. Gadd" were still legible.


"What is the meaning of this?" Professor Gadd snapped, the first clear drop in his jolly attitude.

"Who is this!? What is he doing here?! I'm doing valuable research into... all sorts of things! And he's coming in here digging up the dead!"

"You work with ghosts," Andrew added in his defense. Peach smirked at the flustered old man, but when he started again the former princess smacked him in the arm. It almost knocked him over again, but it snapped him out of his outrage.

"Two things, professor," Peach said. "Then I'll be out of your hair. I can pay for both. First: have you ever heard of kids falling out of the sky in a beam of light?"

Professor Gad adjusted his glasses, so thick that they could have survived the Game Over and that Andrew couldn't even make out his actual eyes beneath them, just smudged and blurred colors. "Legends," he muttered. "Stories. People of magic importance from above. Usually involving the stars or the Rainbow Road. Nothing for certain. Something of interest to others, I'd imagine."

Peach looked over at Andrew, the old scientist seeming to get her meaning but shrugging. "Then one more thing." She reached into her pouch and pulled out one of the smaller scales, still the size of a dinner plate. "What would you say if I told you I had koopa scales... in bulk."

Professor Gadd adjusted his glasses at the first part, then nearly dropped them at the second. He looked around him wildly, as if making sure nobody else was in his cramped and messy office.

"I... I would say, if you did... that you would want to get out of here quickly. I certainly wouldn't have more than my allotted amount of property from the Koopa Kings..."

Andrew looked between him and the scales, sorting things out. "He's working for the koopas!?" he asked, looking to Peach. She seemed entirely unfazed.

"I am a man of SCIENCE, child!" Gadd insisted. "And do you see any science out here in this... this pit of a world!? If anyone's going to fix it, we need resources. The kings have all the resources! I'd be fixing toilets in Monstro Town or chained up in one of Boomboom's tanks if I didn't work for someone! The machines they have, the things that let Bowser live on his airship without hardly ever touching down, they're magnificent! I'm degreasing their engines and calibrating their cannons so that I can bring fresh water and medicines to these... these powerless people and monsters!"

Peach looked at Andrew meaningfully when he mentioned Bowser. He felt like she was looking to him for another judgement call. The world seemed to hold still while Gadd rambled on, excusing his working for evil to pinch their technology for the people. Working for a king he didn't know was dead...

"Bowser's dead," Andrew finally spoke up. "We saw a chunk of him fall off the airship when they went through some rough wind. Pink said it was practically half of his body."

The professor stared at him through his glasses, picking up a used cloth and wiping sweat from his brow, leaving patches of oil on his head instead. "Oh dear. Ohhhh my my my. This is... this changes so much and so little. The peak of their empire is gone, but his little hellspawn... they'll do anything to keep it quiet. The riots, the tightening of their iron fists if people found out..."

"Unless we stay quiet and pawn the shell," Peach insisted.

Andrew gave her a wincing look. "Or... we can fix things." Peach groaned and rubbed her forehead. "The Koopa Kids aren't going to fix anything, just make it worse. Professor's trying, but it sounds like everyone in power right now is crooked, selfish, or afraid of everyone else. There's no one else to follow but people dragging them down!"

"You're right," Peach agreed, but she kept up a frown. She wasn't liking it, but she agreed with his point. Professor Gadd looked between them like he was missing something, but the door was thrown open by a panting Boo.

"Professor! Professor! Someone's at the gates!" the ghost babbled.

“Not now,” Gadd hissed and made a shooing motion. “I think I’m about to witness something rather climactic here.”

There was the sound of gunfire and explosions from outside the makeshift lab. “Raiders, professor!”

Peach's hand went to her boomerang and looked to Andrew. He smiled a bit weakly. "At least it's not the Koopas..."

"Yea, because THEM we might reason with," Peach hissed. There was an explosion from outside and one of the watchtowers crashed to the ground, the guard's empty and smoking shell bouncing away from the wreckage. "Get moving!"

Professor Gadd quickly started gathering up his notes while the boos were variously floating for their lives through the walls or covering their eyes to vanish from sight. Drew peeked outside, seeing several karts speeding around with squat, round figures with stubby limbs behind the wheels. Each of them wore dirty bandanas, and Drew could also see strange yellow dots floating over their heads. “What even are those?” he asked.

“Pirate gooms. Ancestral enemies of the goombas, and all around scum for hire by anybody. Most of them fell in with Syrup’s sand pirates after the Game Over. Calls them the Black Sugar Gang.”

“Why are they enemies?”

“Because they have arms and Goombas don’t.”

“Really?”

“Fuck if I know!” Peach grabbed his arm and kicked open the door to the outside, sending it flying open and into the path of an incoming goom and his kart. The wood shattered and the thug fell over as his kart sped out of control and into the far wall. Peach stopped long enough to drive her boot into its face until it crunched, then ran through the crude streets with Andrew in tow. He saw more of the gooms and assorted other monsters brawling in the streets, knocking over the stands and attacking the vendors he’d passed by to get at the goods beyond. What looked to be a huge pirate ship, sails and all, was driven through the front gates with its canons firing off periodically.

“What are we gonna do!?” Drew yelped.

“We’re doing it now,” Peach snapped. “We’re getting to the kart and heading out. Gadd’s no help if he’s that far under the koopas’ thumbs. We’ll try Wario. The star cultists. Even Fry Guy and Mouser if we have to.”

“What?!” Drew looked around at the various fires, wreckage, and panicked but resisting citizens, travelers, and traders. “They’re gonna die, Pink!”

“That’s why we’re running!” Peach stopped short as another goom screamed and hurled himself out from one of the damaged booths wielding a rusty spear. Peach whirled and parried it with her boomerang, but it knocked the throwing blade from her hand. The pint-sized pirate gave a triumphant cackle, but Peach swiftly drew a claw hammer from her belt and smashed him over the head. A quick spray of blood stained her hammer as he collapsed into a heap, Peach quickly reclaiming the boomerang and nodding back at Drew along. “The longer we’re here, the more likely they find us.”

Drew stared at the dying Goom, but noticed the orange orb disappear from over his head. It flashed a quick 6 over his head that swiftly turned into a 5 before it vanished. “Pink… I think we were meant to be here.”

“Player, don’t play with me right now. You see the size of their-”

Drew pulled his arm out of her grip. “Why don’t we fight them? We’ve been fighting them so far! The people here are dangerous. We saw that. But they’re scared! If someone stands up for them…”

Peach reached out to one of the stands, suddenly thrusting a small iron statue in Drew’s face. It showed a jolly, solidly-built man in overalls, a subdued smile on his moustached face. “You see this?!” Peach barked at him. “THIS is what heroes get these days! They don’t live! They get remembered! People make little statues of you and hope that somehow, it’ll protect them. But they DON’T! All the statues in the world won’t stop a fireball, and they won’t stop raiders, and the sure as fuck will not stop a koopa with an army of monsters! That’s because Mario is DEAD, kid! Our best hope is NOT saving us! So do NOT...” she snapped, throwing the idol into the sand and pushing Drew in the chest. “Fuck with me right now!”

She glared him in the eyes. She could do crazy. She could do scary. It was half of what kept her alive. Kept her from acting a hero. But Drew stared back at her. He wasn’t budging.


Peach glared at him until she stuffed her hammer back into her belt. "Dammit, kid. HEY!" The blonde pointed her boomerang over at the pen full of Chain Chomps, the Hammer Bro that was tending them caught between keeping the bound monsters from tearing each other apart and fending off any would-be thieves. "Get out of there!"

She gave the turtle about a full second before she threw her boomerang at the Chomps, snapping through two of their chains before circling its way back to her. With even more ravenous barking, the two flew out of their pens. The horse-sized, fang-filled iron mouths started not so much mauling as they were devouring the pirates. One swallowed up a pair of Pidgits in one go while the other bit a Goom and his entire kart in half without so much slowing down. They weren't exactly turning the tide, but they were adding a layer of chaos that was throwing off the one caused by the Black Sugars.

"Here." Peach grabbed the crusty spear that was in the clutches of the dead Goom. "Take these." She shoved it into Drew's hand along with a slightly larger mushroom than she had before. It looked back at him with weary eyes. "Things get ugly, use this. Things get REAL ugly, eat that. Now get scarce!"

Peach took off running, but Drew called after her. "Go for the Gooms! They mean something! Like... game talk!"

Peach didn't seem to hear him, but she skidded to a stop in the middle of the open path. She grabbed and pushed a pair of Toads out towards an empty hovel for cover before turning towards the next Goom roaring after her with his kart. She charged at him and jumped, nimbly kicking him in the face and sending him flying out of his kart. The vehicle hit the nearest fence post, stopping sharply but otherwise intact. Peach landed and tumbled across the dust, and once the Goom looked dead she pointed at the Toad family. "Take the kart and drive out to the horizon! Don't come back until you see Rose Town's safe!" she barked at them. The short fungi hurried to comply.

Peach turned and leapt, grabbing the piping that formed the frame of one of the vendors' booths. She swung herself up there before digging into her sack. She drew out a fire flower, looking over the chaos and squeezing the withered red bloom to fire scorching shots into the head of the bandana-clad raiders. She ducked as one bigger Goom fired a red koopa shell out of a slingshot at her, narrowly missing her head before she shot the tentpole beside him. The flaming tarp fell onto his head, making him run around and scream as it fused to his skin before falling over dead.

Drew had found a heap of crates by the Chomp pen to hide behind with his shroom and spear. He watched the aftermath of Peach's attacks, and a 3 turn into a 2 over the Goom's charred and covered body. "Two more!" he reported. "Then they should-"

"There he is!" A Goom with a sword stepped into view, grabbing Drew by his arm. He was even shorter than Peach, it was still awkward for the stubby monster to try to drag him anywhere. "The captain said there was another couple humans around here! Your kind's always causing trouble..."

Peach started to go after him when a fireball shot past her, grazing her arm but with enough heat to burn through her bodysuit and redden the flesh. She threw herself down on top of the stall with a curse, shooting back but the flower withering into ash in her hands. They never lasted as long as they used to these days. The Goom had some kind of fire cannon strapped to the front of his kart, which he was pivoting to aim at Peach's sniping post.

She dug around for another power-up when she heard the thug give out a pained cry. Peach peeked over to see a Monty Mole had leapt out from a hiding spot near some pots, and was beating the Goom about the head with a wrench. They wrestled for control of the vehicle with one hand while the other fought each other, but a Shy Guy threw himself against a nearby barrel, knocking it into their way and crashing the kart to a stop. Two more Shy Guys and a Paratroopa swarmed the raider and tore him from his kart, proceeding to beat the everloving shit out of him. Peach gave a small laugh to herself as she held her stinging arm. They were done being afraid. They weren't really an army so much as a mob, but they were standing up for themselves.


Drew kicked and pulled back, making the Goom grabbing at him stumble from his surprising strength. He certainly wasn't the strongest boy around, but just by virtue of being a human, he was almost twice the size of his attacker. The pirate seemed to get the point and swung the flat of his blade to send a stinging pain right up his leg. "Knock it off, too-tall!" he snapped, but Andrew seemed to only then remember he had the spear. He jabbed it out at the Goom, but the squat figure had far more experience with weapons. His sword easy smacked it out of his hands and he kicked the back of Andrew's foot, knocking him onto his back in the sand. "You feisty little smartass! I bet Syrup can still use you if you're missing a few fingers!"

He raised the sword and Andrew panicked, but before he could shove the mushroom into his mouth there was a loud, grating barking. The Goom looked up too late as a Chain Chomp sideswiped him, taking him in one bite before noisily clanking and chewing him up to vanish into whatever black void of a throat it had. Andrew tried to hold his breath and stay still, but the Chomp pivoted to face him. Its spike-filled mouth hung open as its rusty chain lashed behind it like a tail.


Peach tore some filthy fabric from the tarp she was laying on, hastily wrapping up her burn wound and rolling back to ground level, rejoining the fight as she drew her boomerang and whipped it at a Cheepcheep that was shouting down from the edge of the Black Sugar Gang ship.

The weapon struck down the fish monster and she was ready to catch it again when the stand she was on suddenly collapsed. The boomerang embedded itself into one of the posts as she tumbled through the sand below before she was stopped by a boot driving into her ribs. Peach grunted hard as she coughed from the cheap shot, still recovering when the bandit captain straddled her stomach and pinned her hand.

“Hey there, blondie. Where’ve you been all my life?”

Captain Syrup had a level of natural beauty rather than a well-kept one. She had bushy red hair full of dust that ran down to her middle-back. The pirate wore boots and a bandana, a partial jumpsuit covering most of her lower body. She had a tube top around her thick breasts, but was otherwise bare above the waist. She held a thick cutlass that was smoother and finger than most blades you saw on bandits and scavengers, which Peach realized was due to it being half of a small propeller embedded into a hilt.

Peach didn't answer her attacker, throwing a punch at her face instead. Syrup's head snapped from the blow to the jaw, but she raised her leg to pin Peach's arm under her knee and aimed her cutlass at her face instead. "You caused a lot of folks a lot of trouble, Pinky," Syrup purred at her. "Fortunately, that means a big bounty for me. You're worth twice your weight in water and items to the Koopa Kings. You're just lucky that you're only worth half of that dead."

Peach glared back at the bandit. She stopped thrashing with the sword an inch from her face, but it didn't keep her from being defiant. "Bowser is dead. He's a corpse on a throne we never see. His little hellspawns just don't want to lose their power as Bosses and pretend everything's normal. I've seen it."

Captain Syrup whistled and a filthy, twitchy-looking Birdo came towards her dragging some heavy chains. "So what?"

"So how long do you think they'll last like that?"

Syrup frowned to think for a moment. "Long enough to pay me!" she decided brightly, grabbing one of Peach's arms to lift it up. The Birdo clamped one of the shackled onto her wrist, and while Syrup watched to make sure that it sealed on properly, Peach swung the chained fist across to hit the metal cuff against her face and knock her off. The Birdo honked in surprise, but Peach rolled back over and kicked her in the snout to let her crash into a stand and be buried in the rubble.

Andrew stayed perfectly still, but the Chomp gnashed its metallic teeth and skidded forward a few inches. He couldn't help but flinch, and as if smelling his fear, it gave another rough bark and lunged at him. Deciding that this was definitely bad enough, Drew bit into the meaty mushroom's top and watched the ground get further away. It was the Chomp's turn to jump and look startled, backing away as Drew was suddenly twice the size of the vendor stalls. The Chomp gave a confused whine and tried to run for it with its bouncing bounds. Drew was busy staring at his hands when he felt a pebble bounce off his shoulder. He looked back quizzically to see that the pirate ship had a smoking cannon on the front, and that most of its crew were staring at him blankly. He had just taken a cannonball and barely felt it. He grinned and reached for the ship, stepping over an entire road of the city and grabbing the front of their ship. They pelted him with fireballs, but they were merely tingling senses of heat as he twisted his grip and turned their entire sand-boat onto its side with a booming crash.

Peach stood back up, one arm still bound to the chains. She grabbed one end of them and turned in time to pull them out tight, blocking the swing of Captain Syrup's incoming sword. "Don't make me work for it, bitch," the bandit grinned madly and kicked into the side of Peach's knee. The former princess lost her footing and went to one knee, but punched her in the stomach with her chain-wrapped fist. The pirate grunted and bent over while Peach hit her in the chin again with an uppercut as she rose. Syrup staggered from the hit, allowing Peach to tackle into her like a Chargin' Chuck and smash her one of the stalls.

Syrup was dazed as she was propped against a shelf full of junk, Peach leaning into her and stretching her binding chain across the captain's throat. Syrup's face turned red as she gagged, clawing and shoving at the blonde who grit her teeth to hold onto the choke. The captain managed to grab the bandages on Peach's arm, digging her fingers into the fresh burn wound and drawing an agonized scream from the blonde. She rapidly turned the pain into rage as she doubled down on the strangling chain, bracing her legs further apart. Syrup finally braced a thick boot between Peach's legs and smashed it up into her groin. "AAWWWW!" the blonde blurted in pain as Syrup got enough breath and freedom of movement to grab a nearby pot and smash it into the side of Peach's face. Shards of painted clain stuck to her clothes and hair as Pink staggered back, clutching her cheek where a few of the shards had left shallow, bleeding cuts.

Syrup went after her after a brief stop at the neighboring stall. It was one of the gambling dens, offering a "chance time" with a trio of chests (usually rigged) in a grab bag for a chance at a better item than what you actually paid for. Syrup lifting one of the old wooden treasure chests in her strong arms and smashed it across Peach's back. The fallen princess shouted in pain and fell to all fours, but when Syrup raised her awkward weapon again Peach whipped her hand up, lashing the sandy chain across her attacker's face. Syrup cried out and dropped the box, grabbing her face instead and rubbing her stinging eyes. Peach lunged for her, but a sudden turn made Syrup's knee crash right into her eye. Peach went down clutching her quickly blackening eye as Syrup rubbed her own scratched face clear.

"You know what?" she hissed, pulling a dagger from one of her deep pockets. "Maybe getting half price off your corpse isn't so bad after all." She started towards her when a huge humming noise sounded behind her. Syrup paused a moment, which was enough for her to suddenly scream and stumble backward. A few yards behind her, Professor Gadd wore a large backpack with a vaccuum-like tube attached. It had caught around Syrup's hair and was giving off noisy sucking sounds as it pulled her back by her curls.

"Sorry for the delays! This old things takes a while to fire up!" the professor shouted over the awful noise. Syrup managed to turn enough to fling her knife at the doctor, though it instead penetrated the tubing on the Poltergust. It started to hiss and blow air in all directions, and more importantly breaking any air pressure he might have had on his suction. The shriveled old man shouted in surprise as he tried to wrangle his invention in, but it was rapidly turning into a rodeo.

"I'll add you to the pile in a second, you old coot!" Syrup barked at him, turning back towards Peach... right as she smashed her in the stomach with a spare hammer. Syrup grunted and doubled up, Peach stepping past her and giving her a shove to the back of the head that sent the pirate captain stumbling back into the stall. Peach was breathing heavily as sweat stuck her hair to her face, but she grabbed one of the tent pole as she ducked out of the stall. The tarp fell onto the startled pirate, but it left enough of an outline of her that Peach raised and drove the sharpened post into her chest. A red stain spread across the tarp where she'd hit, but Pink gave it one more twist and thrust before she let herself fall backward against some barrels She was panting and sweating, alive but exhausted.

Drew heard a familiar noise as he started to shrink back down; just like when Mario got hit by a Goomba and shrank back to normal. The pirates were mostly killed or captured by the townsfolk, and they were able to turn their attention to assessing the damage rather than fighting. He set off to find his partner when he heard another grating bark. Drew paused and looked to where between two stalls, the rust-tailed Chain Chomp from before was recoiling from him. He realized it had just seen him quadruple in size, and with its simple beastly mindset, it didn't want to mess with any creature that could do that.

Drew looked around a moment before grabbing some loose scrap of bread. "Hey, I'm not gonna hurt you," he insisted, tossing the morsel towards the spherical beast. It loudly sniffed at the bread before munching it up (including a fair amount of sand, though it didn't seem to mind). It shuffled closer to him, but it kept a fair distance, and he thought he saw the chain behind it wagging back and forth. If it was suddenly convinced that Andrew was a force of nature, perhaps following him around for mutual protection wouldn't be so bad.

"Pink!" Drew came running after her, waving at the weary and beaten princess as she was being bandaged up by Professor Gadd. He cringed a bit at the obvious covered corpse across from her, much like she winced at the Chain Chomp following him. "Oh, he's cool. This is Rusty." Drew stepped aside and patted it on the side, creating a hollow, metallic clunking sound from the staring beast.

"Lot of good those Gooms did," Peach scoffed lightly, a slight smirk on her face. "It just got my ass kicked."

"You should see the other guy, though, eh?" the scientist offered with a chortle.

"I think that's what made her appear, though. Why else wouldn't she have shown up until we beat a bunch of her men?"

"Because she's smart," Peach offered, but it was suspiciously timed out. The kart had crashed, and then Syrup appeared. The kid clearly knew more about the world than she'd originally given him credit for, and he saw mysterious numbers and signs. "Or there's something more going on here."

"I wouldn't sweat it," Drew offered, stepping up in case Peach had any objections to working with Gadd again. The old man seemed genuinely helpful though, whoever he was allied with.

"So what do we do with the not-so-good captain's ship?" Gadd offered. His dirty spectacles glanced over in the direction of the wreck, where people were starting to consider poking around.

"We might be able to fix it," Drew offered.

"Too conspicuous. The kart's smaller and faster," Peach cut in. She sighed and forced herself back up. "We'll look over what they've got. Refresh some of out gear, get some food and water. Whatever's left, leave it to the village. They'll scrap the thing and fix up their walls, at least."

"They're sure to be very grateful!" Gadd insisted. "I'll oversee it myself. You'll be welcomed as a hero for all you've done!"

"Not for long. If we stay here, more bounty hunters and then the koops themselves will come after us." She nodded towards the boat. "Get moving, Player. We're gone in twenty." The Chain Chomp barked, drawing her attention. "Seriously?"

"I think he likes me. I kind of scared the crap out of him before, but then I gave him some bread."

Peach chuckled. "They can pull a cart pretty well. It'll save on gas. If you think he'll listen, you know what you're doing, Player." She looked him over briefly. "Used the super mushroom, did you?"

"Yea. Did you see?"

"No, it's just missing. I was kind of busy choking a bitch." She hesitated, knowing that the super mushrooms gave you a burst of strength and stamina along with some bulk before they either burned out or you took enough damage to distract you. "What'd it do?"

"I turned into a giant and lifted a boat."

Peach stared at him blankly before sighing. "Twenty minutes!" she repeated, pulling her goggles back on. Sure enough, they were given a hero's farewell (a few rags and scraps of food) before Peach finished wrapping Rusty's chain arond the front of their kart, letting him pull them back out into the Mushroom Wastelands.