Demesne 194 - Lori Officiates Marriages (Patreon)

"Rian, tell everyone we're doing the marriages after breakfast," Lori told him as she sat down for breakfast.

Outside, the snowstorm still howled, burying her demesne even more. From what she could discern from the wisps outside her Dungeon, the surface of the river had frozen, trapping the Coldhold, and the snow had gotten even deeper. Fortunately, the entryway into her Dungeon had been kept clear in the night, no doubt from Rian assigning people to the job, so air continued to circulate.

Rian stared at her, paused halfway in the act of getting seated. He looked like he hadn't taken a bath yet, which was probably where the three were. "What, now?"

Lori gave him a flat look. "Are people perhaps busy for some reason?"

"Well, no… It's just that…" Rian said hesitantly, before frowning.

"Just what? And sit down."

He sat. "Wait, I'm thinking…" His fingers tapped rapidly on the table, every extremity tapping seemingly at random, or at least to no tune Lori could recognize. Who taps their fingers like that? Well, Rian obviously but why? "Actually, this could be good," he said thoughtfully. "If we make it properly celebratory after you finish conducting the marriages—not a full holiday, but if we make honey-sweetened bread and stick some meat in the ovens so they cook differently than normal—then it would be a nice boost of morale from the storm and make it less likely for people to get into trouble."

"I thought I said no more holidays," Lori said sternly.

"It's not a holiday! We'd still be working, those of us who have something to work on. And speaking of work, I should tell you this before we have food in front of us."

That… was never a good sign. "What is it?"

"The latrines aren't full yet, but they might need to be desiccated," Rian said. "That should let it last longer. We've been dumping the latrine stuff into a pit, but given the storm outside, even if it stops right now we'd have to dig through a lot of snow before we hit dirt, and the dirt is likely frozen, so digging it to make a new waste pit might take two days, maybe more. The alternative is taking the desiccated waste down to the dungeon farm and using it as fertilizer directly, or start filling making new tuber planters and adding more to the ones that aren't very full."

Lori made a face at the subject matter, but sighed at the necessity. "I'll desiccate the latrines after breakfast, while you're getting the applicants organized."

"How do you want to do it?"

"Just have the applicants come up to me and sit there," she said, gesturing at Rian's side of the table. "You'll be next to me to explain anything they don't understand. I will explain to them their obligations and benefits under a marriage agreement, they sign on the tablet, I give them one as a receipt and keep on for the demesne records."

"The demesne has records?"

"It will soon."

"If we have records, I should probably put together a proper list of everyone's names, ages, relations and professions—"

"That sounds like a waste of time—"

"—for tax reasons. You know, so we can do the calculations for taxes properly when you get around to implementing it."

"… fine. Put it together." Didn't they used to have such a list? Written on the wall or something?

"Yes, your Bindership. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and get everything ready for you after breakfast while I can, get the honey opened up so we can use it…"

Lori glared at him, but sighed and decided to allow it. it wasn't like she wouldn't enjoy having some meet cooked a different way. "Fine, fine…" she said, then frowned as she remembered something. "Rian, where are the sweetbugs?"

"In the second level," Rian said. "I talked to the sweetbugkeepers weeks ago, apparently Riz asked them for the dimensions of where the sweetbugs needed to be kept but I think one of you forgot because it never got built, so when it started getting cold I just had them move the things into some of the alcoves. They're there now, covered with tent cloths. We'll bring them out again when it gets warm, since we can't really keep them in the dungeon all year long. We don't have enough plants in the dungeon farm for them to feed on."

Lori felt the sudden panicked clenching in her chest relax. Stupid memory! Why hadn't it reminded her about the sweetbugs weeks ago, instead of now when there could have been nothing she could do about it? "I see," she said. "Excellent, then."

"You're welcome," Rian said dryly.

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After breakfast, Lori did as she said and desiccated the contents of the latrines, searating the waterwisps from… well, everything else, and using firewisps to heat what was left until she was reasonably certain it was dry. Then she bathed the waste and the latrine itself in unseen light for good measure. The latrines in the dungeons were regularly cleaned, the seats and floors scrubbed as well as emptied, but a childish part of her couldn't help but feel she needed to be sure.

By the time she finished, there was a nervous-looking couple sitting on Rian's side of her usual table. More people were seated at the table behind them, and Rian was speaking to them in a low voice, the couple on the table looking back at him to listen. Other people were seated in groups in nearby tables. While some were playing board games or talking in low voices, they looked like they were spectating, and Lori saw at least two older women who had an air of 'meddling parent' about them speaking sternly to different waiting pairs.

Lori didn't go straight the table, instead heading to her room. When she came back down, she was carrying a stack of thin wooden sheets about the size of her palm and fingers, a stylus made from a beast tooth and a slim branch, a bone from a beast that she'd retrieved from the bone pile before the storm had begun, and a more ordinary stone tablet on which she had written some notes for reference. Lori had water-cut the sheets into squares herself, though she had asked the carpenters to smooth the edges on the grinding wheel. One side of each wooden sheet had been covered with a layer of dark stone she had found, making a small tablet.

Ignoring the applicants, Lori sat down at her usual place and neatly stacked up the little tablets in front of her into two piles. Each had the words 'Certificate of Marriage' written on it, but one pile had the words 'recipient's copy' in one corner and the other pile 'records copy' on it. The shallow, careful lines she'd written had been filled in with bone to make stark white lines on the background of the dark stone.

"All right," she said, and the people all seated in front of her all stiffened and sat up straight, looking nervous. The onlookers—for that's what they were—quieted down. "Before we begin, how many of the applicants can write their own name? Raise your hand." She waited a moment. "Raise your hand overyour head," Lori clarified. The hands rose higher tentatively, and she did a quick count. Huh, that was better than she had expected. More than half could write their own name. "Very well, put those down. For those who can't write, would you be able to read your name written down if you saw it? Raise your hand if you can."

Lori watched as more hands were raised. To her relief, the numbers made up the difference. "Good. Those who can't write their name, your spouse-to-be will assist you." Two people in the back looked alarmed. "If they can't, Rian will."

At some point, Rian had moved to stand off to the side of her, and he gave them his theatrically big smile and waved at them for some reason. "Don't worry, I'll be right here if you need any help," he said. People actually did look relieved when he said that.

"Before we begin, I shall clarify some points of what marriage will entail in my demesne," she said. "You probably have some idea from where you came from. I don't care. This is my demesne. If what you think you know does not go against anything I am about to tell you now. Then it doesn't matter. If it does, cast it aside. If you wanted to be married according the however it's done in the demesne you came from, you should have stayed there." People began to look nervous again.

"On that note, I will recognize any marriages that were conducted outside of this demesne, provided the people involved follow the laws regarding marriage that I am going to set forth. All that is needed is for the people involved to proclaim that they are already married, and to bring out proofs of this marriage. I will accept the presence of existing children and the testimony of relatives and the children in question as proofs. Present and proclaim yourselves to Rian and he will make note of you for when we implement the collection of taxes."

There were more nervous looks.

"Which will not be implemented right now, but we will eventually. I did say that land distribution would only occur after taxation was implemented." Lori swept her gaze around, wondering if anyone was going to try and force the issue of land again. Surrpsingly, people stayed silent. "Very well. Applicants." She directed her gaze towards the people sitting opposite her, huddled together and from their stance were holding hands other the table. Her gaze passed them, going on towards the people behind them. "All of you. Before I register your marriages, I will require you to listen to the terms and conditions of marriage as defined in this demesne. If you have any complaints, direct then towards Rian, they were all his ideas."

Next to her, Rian's head snapped in her direction, a comically betrayed look on his face. "Me?" he protested. "They're your laws!"

"I asked for ideas, you gave them to me. Therefore, they're your ideas."

The look became betrayed and resigned. "I take no responsibility for how my ideas were interpreted and codified into law," he said to everyone in general. "Everyone knows you make up your own mind."

"Of course. I'm the Dungeon Binder." She turned back to the applicants. "Before we begin, I will inform you all that obligations you will be required to uphold once you are married, providing sexual gratification to your spouse is not one of them." There was a sound like Rian's hand had just forcefully slapped into his face. Lori didn't bother to look. "Under the terms of marriage in my demesne, being married does not require you to commit any such acts, nor does your spouse have the right to demand or force those acts upon you. If you say no and they persist, any subsequent actions will be legally interpreted as rape and will be dealt with accordingly. It can also be used as grounds for a divorce."

"How are they supposed to have children if they don't tumble?" someone at the very back called out.

"Rian, find out who that was and see if she is married, and whether they are in violation of the law," Lori said.

"No need your Bindership, that's just Riona," Rian said. "She's unmarried and unattached, for obvious reasons."

"She's ugly?" For some reason, people laughed at the perfectly reasonable question.

"No, she's crass, pushy and hard to live with for long periods of time. Which is a shame, because she's a pretty good hunter."

"Ah. Well, to answer the crass question, one would think the applicants would do so because they both want to do such things to each other," Lori said. "In relative privacy, if they know what's good for them."

"Just nod, all of you," Rian said, and the applicants all nodded hurriedly.

"To continue," Lori said, "marriage also does not immediately or obligatorily require that all current and future possessions and assets be jointly owned by both spouses. You may if you wish to, but it is not assumed or required."

"'Possessions and assets' means 'stuff you own'," Rian informed the applicants, who nodded in comprehension. "Why would that be something you bring up? I'm asking for both myself and for the benefit of everyone present, who are probably as confused as I am." There were a few more nods at this.

"In case of divorce, to reduce the ambiguity when it comes to division of assets."

"While I'm sure everyone's glad to have such a hardworking and thorough Binder, I don't think talk about divorce is what people really want to hear on their wedding day," Rian said, sounding tired for some reason.

"Marriage, not wedding."

"Given the circumstances, it's currently the same thing."

"A marriage is an agreement, a wedding is the pointlessly expensive festivities leading up to and after the officiation of that agreement."

"Again, given the current circumstances, it's the same thing."

Lori frowned, tilting her head thoughtfully. Huh. He was right. Well, regardless. "Well, regardless. One final point before we proceed, I am announcing the requirement of a mandatory apprenticeship for all applicants here, as well as those already married but do not yet have any children, and those pregnant and unmarried." She saw people exchanging confused looks and murmuring to each other. "The people in question are required to apprentice themselves to married individuals who already have children above five years of age, for the purpose of learning how to tend, raise, discipline, and properly care for children." The volume of the murmurs rose, though he heard on or two laughs for some reason. "This is mandatory and required. I can't stop you from breeding, but I don't have to tolerate people being stupid about it. You will learn, and you will do it sooner rather than later so you don't raise your children incorrectly."

There were actually nods and more laughs at that.

"If you have any objections to any of these requirements, you know where to go," Lori finished.

"Notme," Rian said. "I'm for when you have complaints. If you have objections, she means leave and try your luck at River's Fork. Just to be clear."

A hand was raised. "Uh, Lord Rian…" A young man Lori vaguely recognized for some reason. "What about for those that can't have children?" He waved to the other young man next to him.

Rian turned to her. "Your Bindership?"

"It's still required," Lori said sternly. "No exceptions. If you can't take this seriously, withdraw your application and stop wasting my time. Failure to comply will render your marriage null and void."

Surprisingly, that was met with an exchange of looks and a nod. Huh. A reasonable person. How rare.

"Anything else? No? Then we proceed. Rian, take note. First applicants." She directed her gaze towards the two in front to her, who straightened up on their bench again. "I will speak to you, you will answer. Understood?"

"Y-yes, your Bindership," they both said eventually.

Lori nodded. "Now, do either of you have a profession? A trade, a craft? Training in anything?"

They looked at each other in confusion, then glanced at Rian.

"It's all right, just answer her," he said, and she could hear his reassuring smile.

Nonetheless, it seemed to work as the applicant on the left, a young man with pale blue hair said, "Um, I was a beastherder, your Bindership," he said. "Was pretty good at it."

"What kinds of beasts?" Lori pressed.

"Short-tailed tsokows, your Bindership." While she'd never seen one she was vaguely familiar with the type from theater, novels and the occasional illustration, bringing to mind images of a short, stubby-legged, fat, and docile kind of beast, bred for food, eggs, leather, possibly other things that weren't coming to kind. "We bred long-tails too, but not very many." Why not? Tail meat was delicious.

"We don't have many beasts here," Lori said. "What have you been doing?"

"I've been trying to raise the chokers we have, your Bindership, if they managed to survive the snow." For a moment he looked worried, the face of a man concerned for his livelihood such, as it was. "And I've been helping at the tannery, getting the skins of what's caught. And I do my time on the cutting rota, of course."

Lori nodded, then turned to the one beside him. "And you?"

The woman with the long pink hair held in a braid running down her back swallowed and said, "I'm a weaver, y-your Bindership," she said, glancing sideways between the man next to her and Rian. "And I knit as well."

"Noted. And you want to marry?"

The two glanced at each other. "Yes, your Bindership," they both said eventually, though not at the same time.

"Is there anyone present who objects or has any reason to object?" Lori said in a loud, carrying voice. "Someone already married to one of them and was not consulted on this marriage, perhaps?" She looked around. "There seem to be no objections. Very well then. Your application is approved."

Lori reached for two of the small wood and stone tablets, one from each pile, and carefully bound the stone on top of both. Not too soft, the consistency of hard wax, and only on a thin layer… "You, sign your name here and here, and then you, sign your name here and here. Use this and don't press down too hard. Use your full name, this is a legal document." She handed them the stylus.

The two wrote their names where indicated, albeit a little clumsily in the beastherder's case. Still, it was legible. Lori put down both tablets in front of her, removing the binding. To her relief, the names were both legible. She nodded and consulted her tablet of notes, reading the theatrically worded thing Rian had given back to her. "Very well. Do you, Leiyanami, wish to marry this woman with you? To love her, to protect and succor her, to honor and adore her, to support her and her children with your love, your time and your efforts, until time and death parts you?"

For some reason, the man glanced towards Rian. "I do," he said.

Lori nodded, countersigning the man's signatures. She turned to the woman. "And do you, Astolp Weaver, wish to marry this man with you? To love him, to protect and succor him, to honor and adore him, to support him and his children with your love, your time and your efforts, until time and death parts you?"

The response was more immediate, the woman nodding decisively as she said, "I do."

Lori nodded, countersigned on the woman's signature, removed the bindings on the stone, then took the bone and, binding it soft, lightly rubbed it over the signatures. The pale white bone, soft as wax, scraped off and accumulated on the grooves left by the stylus, contrasting them against the dark stone. She set aside her copy and handed them theirs. "Your marriage has been recognized and recorded. Here is your copy of the record. Please find someone to apprentice yourselves to as soon as possible and check the list for the exact laws covering marriage obligations beyond those already discussed. If you find you cannot or do not wish to comply with any of them, inform Rian within the next week so that your marriage may be annulled. NEXT!"

As the pair hurriedly vacated Rian's bench and the next applicants moved to take their place, Lori hoped that this all finished before lunch so that she'd be able to expand her demesne in the afternoon. One set of applicants down, eleven more to go…