Weekly Digest 14 - (#42 - #44) (Patreon)

The Binder of River's Fork

Lori had a wonderful breakfast, only occasionally marred by the doctor's impolitely unconcealed hostility and his insistence at arguing with his Binder and niece. The former was crass, the latter was suicidal, but this wasn't her demesne. The life expectancy of the people in it were not her problem.

It was clearly making his daughter uncomfortable, although his son endured with the complete and utter apathy of someone who wanted to go back to sleep. The Vyshke woman did not interfere beyond the occasional warnings, but Lori knew mothers. She wasn't supporting him or letting him have his way. She was practicing what she was trying to preach and saving her violent incandescence for when the guest was gone.

As a thoughtful guest, Lori ate cleanly and politely, filled her conversation with compliments as to the quality of the cooking the way her mothers had taught her, and politely tried to excuse herself at the earliest possible juncture with the pretext on checking up on her men. The Vyshke woman kindly gave her the remaining pastries and bread in a bowl with a polite request for the bowl's return, which Lori politely thanked her for.

When she made to leave, Binder Shanalorre stood with her, rushing to her room to her get shoes. "We have to things to talk about," the young Binger– the younger Binder– said. "I will walk with you."

"Shana, you stay right here," her uncle said sharply.

"No," Shana said simply as she sat to put on her shoes. Lori stood patiently, waiting for her to finish, the bowl in one arm, staff in one hand.

"I am your uncle, and I'm telling you to stay!"

"I am your Binder. Obey," Shana said, standing as she finished securing her shoes. Her face was placid as she nodded to Lori, who nodded back and gestured for her to lead, as this was her demesne.

Muttering a vile oath– which got him a very displeased look from his wife, since his daughter was in hearing range– the doctor stood, brushing past Lori, who had to step back lest she drop the bowl, and grabbed Shana by one small bicep. "Shana–" he began sternly.

There was a blur of movement as Shana stepped hard on his toes, slammed a kick into the side of his knee, drove a fist into his groin, slammed an elbow into his stomach, and thrust the heel of her hand up into his jaw. She was just barely able to reach the last, which was probably why the strike was only disorienting instead of stunning. It made the doctor release her arm though as he stumbled back in pain, collapsing back to sit on one of the guest benches, wheezing as Lori stared in surprise.

"Shanalorre!" her aunt exclaimed, thunderous.

"I apologize, my aunt, but I will not be intimidated," Shana said. She turned to her uncle, who was staring at her as if he'd never seen her before. "I will return to heal you once I have finished my conversation with Binder Lolilyuri. In the meantime, take a moment to consider what you did wrong. You are excused from any medical duties for the day."

Nodding to herself, Binder Shanalorre turned and began to descend the stairs, Lori following after her. Her descent was careful, as she had the bowl to mind, which Shanalorre seemed to appreciate, as she made no attempt at conversation until they reached ground level.

"I have considered the matter of n– of Grem's attempt on my life," she said evenly as they began to walk to where Rian and the others were sleeping, "and his attempt to manipulate you and Lord Rian into it on his behalf. I have decided you two were genuinely ignorant as to his intentions, and so only he will be punished. I also wish to commend Lord Rian for the actions he took on my behalf, and to thank Lorian Demesne for the meat you delivered to us."

"I am sure he would be glad to know that," Lori said. "Do you wish me to convey your words to him, or would you do so himself?"

"I shall do so," Binder Shanalorre said. "On the matter of Grem, I have decided that though he is guilty of attempting to take my life, understandable reasons. As such, I have chosen to not have him executed."

"That is… merciful of you," Lori commented.

"This place has seen enough death," Shanalorre said. "However, he is to be exiled from this place and never return. In addition, my residents will be informed as to his actions and will receive permission to do with him as they will should he ever be found in or near the demesne of River's Fork, even unto death. I request that Lorian Demesne accept his death in these circumstances as stemming from either natural causes or suicide. Beyond that, I leave the matter in your hands, Binder Lolilyuri. He will be detained until it is time for you to leave, at which point I will release him to your custody. Do with him as you will."

"I accept these terms," Lori said, "with the addendum that, in the course of future trade and contact, I request that the residents of River's Fork do not disclose to residents of Lorian, or potential residents of Lorian, the reason for his exile. I would not have my own residents be motivated to harm him."

"Is that not your problem?" Shanalorre said.

"It is," Lori asked, "but there's no point in exiling him to live only to give the people at his destination reason to kill him. If you wish him dead, do so yourself."

The younger Binder took a moment to ponder this. "Agreed," Shanalorre said. "I will have my people agree to not disclose his crime, and allow him the possibility of a new life." She looked at Lori. "He will be your responsibility after that."

"That is acceptable," Lori said. "I should disclose that he is a probationary lord of my demesne, as I needed someone whom the new arrivals would respect to act as an intermediary for me. If this revelation causes you to rethink any of your decisions, I am willing to wait on going forward with this proposal."

Another moment to ponder. "Is that why you have been vocal in your defense and insistence that I judge him?"

"He is one of mine now," Lori said. "I have made… declarations. To allow him to come to harm with no attempt to avert it would set a precedent that could be used against me."

Shanalorre considered her words. Lori wondered if she had the vocabulary for it.

"Explain the word 'precedent'," Shanalorre said.

"It means I did it before, so people will expect that I do it again, even if the situations and circumstances are dissimilar, merely because it's a simpler than actually thinking of the new circumstance," Lori said. "People can be idiots that way."

Shanalorre nodded slowly. "Thank you. I will be summoning my residents this afternoon to make an announcement clarifying my position as Dungeon Binder of this Demesne. If you and yours still plan to arrange passage for those once wounded who wish to be reunited with their families…"

Silence.

The wind blew and leaves fell.

Silence.

Lori blinked at the lengthy pause. "Binder Shanalorre?"

The younger Binder shook her head. "If you and yours still wish to offer passage, I will announce your intention and availability later, and they may make arrangements with you. I give them my blessing to become residents of your demesne." There was a pause. "Please take care of them."

"Of course, Binder Shanalorre," Lori said. After all, it was hard to get work out someone not cared for. Some effort needed to be put into worker maintenance for them to perform adequately. A thought occurred to her. "I should warn you that some people may not be satisfied with my rule for their own irrational reasons. With the availability of your demesne, some might decide to make the journey to try and live here to instead. I ask that you reciprocate their care."

"I see," Shanalorre said. "Very well then. Should they wish to come, they would be welcome in River's Fork."

Lori nodded. Well, that got the idiot with the barrel and the delusions about not needing to live in a binderarchy off her dungeon. "Thank you, Binder Shanalorre."

They walked in silence, passing the hut where Grem was incarcerated. The two on watch started in surprise, getting to their feet, but Shanalorre gestured for them to sit, continuing on with Lori. The two looked at each other in confusion, and one of them headed for the central tree while the other remained at watch, his gaze intent on Shanalorre, and especially on Lori.

Eventually, they arrived at the hut Rian and the others were staying. From the sounds inside, people were still sleeping.

"Could I leave with you?" Shanalorre said, a mild quaver in her voice. "Just leave this place, live in your demesne?"

"You could," Lori said. "But your uncle would likely follow, and I'd rather not meet him every day. Still, if that's what you want, I'm sure we can arrange something."

Silence.

"You need not make your decision right now," she said gently.

Shanalorre blinked, then nodded. "I… see. Thank you, Binder Lolilyuri. I will… consider."

"Please leave a note explaining why when you leave, so your demesne does not assume I simply had you abducted, despite not having the resources to do so," Lori said.

"I will remember."

They stood in silence in front of the hut.

"You're doing very well," Lori said quietly. "But why start now? Why not before?"

Silence.

Eventually, Shanalorre turned to Lori. "I'm tired," she said, her face completely impassive even as tears slowly slid down from her eyes, "of not being able to do anything."

Lori nodded in understanding.

"You think I'm going to die," Shanalorre continued. "That… that Grem was right. That a dragon will… will… " She shuddered. Her little fists clenched. And then she straightened. Her face was impassive again, even as more tears slid down it. "If I die… please take care of my home. Please save my people."

"I will," Lori said. She remembered that time in the dark, of staying awake through pure indignation and outrage. "If I fall, I ask you to do the same."

"Agreed," Shanalorre said. She held out a hand.

Lori stared at it. Wizards didn't shake hands among themselves, as a rule. Magic required contact, especially for Deadspeakers.

Gingerly, she raised her own hand. Palms met, fingers closed.

They shook on it.

"Why is your hand sticky?"

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Shanalorre Rising

One of the waterskins in the hut still had a little water, and the two of them used it to wash their hands. Lori set down the bowl and, deciding they'd had enough sleep, began to clap her hands noisily. "All right, all of you, wake up," she said. "Get that dust off and wash out, or the colors will take root in your brains! It's the afternoon, and the food's cold!"

She was really sounding like one of her mothers at this point.

"I'm on vacation, leave me alone," Rian muttered.

"The bread will get hard," Lori said.

"What the bread does on vacation is its business," Rian muttered and turned over, rolling off his sleeping roll and face first into the wooden floor. "Sleep is divine and I'm worshipping."

"You're making that up," Lori said. "There are no sleep-based religions."

"I'm starting one. Go away," Rian muttered.

"Is that any way to talk to your Binder?"

"Pleasego away, your Bindership," Rian groaned, grabbing his pillow and pulling it over his head, still facedown on the wooden floor.

Lori shrugged, turning to the three who were at least sitting up. "Fine. The three of you can have his bread and stuffed meat pastries."

Rian was suddenly upright like a seel leaping out of the water. "All right fellows, get up, get up, it's a new day, time is wasting!" he said with manic cheer. "Where are these pastries and…" he blinked. "Why is Binder Shanalorre here? Who found her?"

"No one. She was never lost," Lori said.

Rian gave her a look, then knelt down to meet Binder Shanalorre's eyes. "Blink twice if you're being held against your will," he said in a mock whisper.

"You realize I can hear you, right?" Lori said flatly.

"Lori, please, we're having a private conversation," Rian said.

Binder Shanalorre gave a small smile. "I am not being held against my will, Lord Rian," she said, "but thank you for asking."

Rian blinked at that, but nodded. "Well… nice to see you're fine and not hurt. Have you let your aunt and uncle know you're back?"

"They have been informed," Shanalorre said. "Lord Rian, I thank you for acting as you did and moving to protect me yesterday. Without you, the attempt on my life might have succeeded."

Rian blinked, and for some reason glanced at Lori. "Um, you're welcome," he said. "It was the right thing to do. I'm just glad you weren't hurt."

"I am physically unhurt," Binder Shanalorre said. "It was nice to meet you, Lord Rian. I hope our future meetings are more pleasant." She turned to Lori and nodded. "I will see you later, Binder Lolilyuri. I must make arrangements for my announcement. I hope you have a good day. "

"And you as well, Binder Shanalorre," Lori aid.

The younger Binder left.

"Is she all right?" Rian said, sounding concerned.

"Yes," Lori said, frowning down at him.

He noticed her gaze. "What?" he said as he stood up.

"You never kneel for me," she said. She wasn't petulant. Not at all.

"We have the same eye level, I don't need to kneel to talk to you face to face," Rian said.

She supposed that made sense… and really, ritualized kneeling sounded like a pointless waste of time anyway.

"Did anything about her struck you as… strange?" Rian said, still looking towards where the little Binder had gone.

Lori shrugged. "She seemed like a perfect reasonable, level-headed, sensible person."

"And… you don't see anything strange about that?" Rian said.

"Well, yes, but it was probably about time I met someone else who was reasonable, level-headed and sensible," Lori said.

Rian didn't reply, still staring after Binder Shanalorre with a slight frown.

"I brought fruit," she said, gesturing towards the hairy blueballs.

He gave her an intent look that was mildly disconcerting. "So the pastries were a lie?"

"They're in the bowl," she pointed.

"You're the best Binder ever," he shamelessly flattered. "Hey, you three save some for me!"

Landoor was summarily dispatched to get more drinking water as the other three sat down for the very late breakfast– alternately, lunch– of bread, meat and vegetable pastries, and hairy blueballs. While Deil and Tackir were perplexed at the fruit's appearance and how to open it, Lori wasn't even surprised when, after taking a moment to marvel at its appearance, Rian squeezed it in the middle with both hands, splitting the skin open and revealing the yellow flesh inside.

She was a little concerned when he popped it into his mouth, gently chewed once, and his eyes went wide.

"What? What is it?" she said.

Rian gestured vaguely and took another, slower chew, before spitting the seed into his hand and quickly chewing the rest. "I've found a reason to live again," he said, staring at the seed like it contained endless wonders. "Lori, we need to grow these on Lorian. We need to! Otherwise I don't know how I'll keep on living!"

"It's only a fruit, Rian," Lori said, wondering if her lord was losing his sanity. Was he having some sort of allergic reaction? Some kind of strange mind-altering substance that formed from leaving the fruit unattended?

"Blasphemy!"

"There aren't any fruit-based religions."

"I'll start one!"

"I thought you were starting a sleep-based religion?"

"We need something to worship during the day, don't we?"

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"I shall begin by apologizing for causing you all undue worry," Binder Shanalorra began, addressing the assembled people of River's Fork Demesne. There were much fewer than the number of people Lori had in her demesne, which was… well, mildly satisfying. "I had not considered how you would all react to by sudden disappearance, and for that I'm sorry…"

She spoke on, while the people of her demesne kept glancing at each other in confusion and paying insufficient attention. Really, their Binder was speaking! They should mind her words. Granted, they weren't words Lori herself would have ever bothered to use, but to each their own, she supposed.

"– is no excuse. I will no longer be lax in my duties as this Demesne's Binder," Shanalorre continued as Lori leaned back on one of the wooden huts. "I know I am not the Binder you wish for, but I am the one you have. If you are dissatisfied with my leadership, then there are two options before you." She pointed, and Lori realized she was pointing in their direction. "Binder Lolilyuri and Lord Rian are here as representatives of their demesne, who were kind enough to take in our people who left. If you feel you do not find the idea of my rule palatable, then the first option is that you make arrangements with them to transfer and reside in their demesne. They have limited space on their vessel, but Binder Lolilyuri has assured me that she will accept anyone who wishes to do so."

There were murmurs and glances towards Lori, who remained impassive and leaning against the hut at her back.

Finally, someone called out, "What's the second option?"

Binder Shanalorre looked impassively over her people. "The second option is for one of you to kill me, here and now, and have Binder Lolilyuri replace me."

There was a much louder eruption of voices at this. In the front, Binder Shanalorre's aunt and uncle looked very upset, and even the militiamen around her looked uncomfortable.

"Did you put her up to this?" Rian said, his voice low and very, very flat.

"It would be convenient for me, but no," Lori said. "Stop Landoor."

Rian glanced at the idiot, but apparently Lori's concern was unwarranted. The fool simply looked as stunned as everyone else. She's been worried he'd take her up on her offer in some misguided delusion that he could claim this place's core for himself.

"You! What have you been telling my niece?!"

The violent exclamation drew both of their attention, Rian letting his left hand drop but not actually touching his sword. The Binder's uncle, Lasponin, was pointing dramatically at Lori like this was some sort of climactic moment in a theatrical play, his face full of outraged indignation.

"Uncle, stand down," Shanalorre said. "You are being rude to our guests."

"They've done something to her!" her uncle cried, ignoring her. "Ever since they–"

Shanalorre took off her shoe and threw it with unerring accuracy, interrupting her uncle in mid-exclamation by slamming into his throat. "Do not ignore me, doctor," she said. "I am no one's puppet, and certainly not Binder Lolilyuri's. I give my people this choice because they deserve the option of choosing it." She faced the people. "Choose, people of River's Fork. Choose now and be done with it. Either I am your Binder and command your trust and obedience, or I am not. In which case, strike me down, here and now, and follow someone else."

In more theatrical circumstances, that announcement would have been made in eerie, dramatic silence, letting the audience take in the full dramatic import. Instead, it was by undercut the people speaking to each other in confused, upset tones. Her uncle tried to speak, but seemed to be unable to, only making strangled sounds of his throat while his wife examined him and apparently tried to keep him from choking.

"No one? Will no one end me?" Shanalorre said, looking out over the crowd. "Will no one have the courage to make their objection known? Will you truly obey a child?"

She stood there until the murmurs lessened, growing quieter until they vanished, the only sound the wind and her uncle trying to breath.

"So be it, then," Shanalorre said. "In that case, a few announcements. As of now, the only one authorized to speak in my name is retired captain Yllian, on matters of internal discipline, with punishments subject to ratification. Others will be announced as I ascertain their trustworthiness. Be informed that Doctor Lasponin is NOT authorized to speak in my name and is only to be considered an authority on matters of medical care. We are also beginning recruitment for the local militia, on a purely volunteer basis. Please speak to Captain Yllian if you wish to volunteer. As of now, the mines cannot resume operation, due to a shortage of labor. Instead, we will be redirecting out efforts towards securing food…"

Lori listened as Shanalorre went from establishing her authority to using that authority to set the necessary tasks to keep her demesne alive. Her people didn't seem very cowed, but neither did anyone take her up on her offer, so far. Perhaps someone would come later, to cowardly to do it with so many people watching. Was it a little hypocritical to make that offer, and keep the man most likely to take it imprisoned? Possibly, but Grem had clearly erred by trying to do it before the offer had been made. Really, if he'd just waited a day…

Ah, well…

"I'll be at the boat, imbuing the water jet," Lori told Rian. "Stay here and make arrangements for those who want to come with us. We'll leave tomorrow morning, bright and early so we can be back in my demesne before nightfall. Prioritize those with few belongings."

"Uh, right…" Rian said, who was watching Shanalorre with a vaguely disturbed look. "Are you sure you didn't put her up to anything? Even accidentally, or by implication? The way she's acting…"

"No, I didn't," Lori said, rolling her eyes in exasperation. "I don't harm children. And don't forget to bring those fruit seeds with us, all right?"

"Uh, sure…" Rian said, still watching Shanalorre. "As if I'd forget."

Shrugging, Lori headed for Lori's Boat, to spend the afternoon imbuing the water jet… as soon as she'd rigged up some sort of sun shade…

Behind her, Shanalorre continued to speak, her voice calm and reasoned, and her words perfectly sensible.

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You're Wrong

Lolilyuri retired back to Lori's Boat, keeping it anchored but pushing it into the water so as not to damage it when she climbed on. She sat next to the water jet and began imbuing more magic into it for the trip back. Her raincoat's hood had been draped on the end of an oar and the oar in held front of her while she leaned back on the hem, using that as an improvised shade. Her staff law across her knee, the ash catch of her coalcharm pointed down to keep the boat from accidentally catching fire. It sufficed, and there was enough wind that she didn't feel hot. So she just sat there, imbued, and thought.

She closed her eyes and felt for her demesne. It was there, in the back of her mind, an awareness of distant wisps like a part of herself. She traced the feeling, of the long stream of waterwisps that was the river, the enormous half sphere of earthwisps that was the land, the complementing half-sphere of airwisps that was the sky above. She was even aware, to some degree, of the waterwisps on the waterjet, which had come from her demesne and had been imbued there, maintaining her claim. Now that her business was done here, she really wanted to get back and return to properly building things. She still needed to expand her dungeon for the next time a dragon appeared, get proper shelters up for all her new people– hopefully no one broke any laws while she was gone– get food stores ready for winter…

Lori wanted to go home.

She just sat there, falling into the state of mindlessness she'd perfected while working many, many, many wisp-imbuing jobs to pay for school and school supplies, and the occasional silence bribe when she'd been caught clubbing people for reference books in the library. Breathing in magic, passing it through her, imbuing. Over and over and over as the world and the light changed around her…

"Lori, are you asleep or are you ignoring me?"

Lori blinked, her imbuing tapering off as she turned towards the voice. Rian was standing next to the boat, which had been pulled closer to shore, looking a little tired. "Are you done?" she said.

"Mostly," he sighed. "I think one of us has to stay here to keep making arrangements while you ferry the first group back to Lorian, and then come back."

Lori stiffened. "Come back?" she said.

"Well, yeah," Rian said. "It's not like you can put some kind of switch on the water jet to make it shut off, right?" He frowned. "Can you? Because otherwise the thing would be on all night and we'd have to row back upriver. So you'll need to come back with the boat when we pick up the rest of them…"

Rian cut off, staring at her. "Are you all right?" he said.

"Of course I am," Lori said, expertly hiding her feelings about needing to leave her demesne again just for some stupid, pointless people.

Rian gave her an intent look. "How about I tell them we'll come back in seven days?" he said. "Since you probably have lots of responsibilities and things to build, and will need time to recover from the trip."

"I have no objections to that," Lori said, expertly hiding her relief. "But why seven days? Why not just a week?"

"Long enough to rest, short enough to feel reasonable," Rian said. "And it gives you time to recover from this little misadventure. We won't be able to bring too many people with us anyway, since right now the barge–"

"Lori's Boat," Lori corrected graciously.

Rian rolled his eyes. "The egotistical boat will be full of supplies and isn't very stable. This way I can have our carpenters make a stabilizer outrigger, and on the next trip we'll go with less people so we can carry more passengers. I made sure to tell them they can't bring any furniture and any big, heavy things, but I have a feeling they'll try to get them on anyway, so tomorrow we'll be going back with a formerly-injured child and his mother, get them back with us since they don't have a lot of stuff."

Lori made an apathetic sound. "Noted. Is that all?"

"It's also almost time for dinner," Rian said. "Shana said she'd be sending us food for tonight's dinner, then tomorrow we need to start helping with the work around the demesne or leave."

"Shanalorre," Lori corrected. "Grem will be coming with us tomorrow. Binder Shanalorre exiled him from River's Fork and passed him to us."

"What are you going to do with him, then?" Rian asked.

"Keep him away from this place, of course. That was the agreement," Lori said.

"And… anything else?" Rian sounded like he was probing for something.

"Why would there be?" Lori tilted her head.

"He didtry to kill a child. That’s against at least two of your laws," Rian pointed out.

"It wasn't one of my children," Lori shrugged. "Besides, he's still acting director of the Golden Sweetwood Company. If we want their next group of settlers to come to my demesne, we need him to direct them there instead of here." She waved her hand vaguely around at River's Fork.

"You can't be serious," Rian said flatly.

"As you yourself said, I'm always serious," Lori said.

"He tried to kill a child!" Rian, to his credit, said this in a hiss, obviously not wanting to draw attention.

"Given the circumstances, it's unlikely to be the precedent for future child murder," Lori said. "So the children of my demesne are probably not in danger."

"Why are you making excuses for him? He tried to manipulate you," Rian reminded her, as if she needed it. "Lied to you. Use you to murder someone. Doesn't that at least make you mad? Peeved? Annoyed? Mildly insulted at thinking he could use you for his own ends?"

"Of course." Obviously.

"So why are you just letting him get away with it?" Rian said, sounding exasperated. "You've looked more annoyed at Landoor being stupid than Grem trying to use and manipulate you. You were angrier about Missus Naineb challenging your authority in public. Why aren't you angrier? He tried to use you to hurt someone."

Lori was silent.

"Lori?" Rian pressed.

What could she say? That she'd been thinking of doing exactly as Grem has been suggesting? To kill the Binder and take this place for herself? That she'd been actively looking for who the Binder might be and had planned to kill them as soon as she saw an opportunity?

There was a thud as Rian threw his boots on board, and the boat rocked as he scrambled in after them. Lori blinked in confusion as Rian, the bottom of his trousers wet with river water, sat down in front of her, causing the boat to list from their combined weight.

"Lori, talk to me," he said. "Why aren't you angrier at Grem for trying to use you?"

"I amangry at him," she said.

"If you were, you're being very strange about it," Rian said. "You're usually a lot more vindictive and petty when you're angry. You're treating Landoorworse than Grem, and he's just believed too many stories. Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she snapped.

"I figured," Rian said. "But I think you need to."

"What are you, my parents? I said I don't want to talk about it, so stop asking! That's an order!"

Rian was silent, for which Lori was glad. Finally, she could just tell someone to leave a matter a lone and they would.

"Why are you equating me with your parents?" he said.

Lori glared at him, but she supposed that was a fair question. "You were nagging. Pressing. Trying to get me to talk when I didn't want to. Just like them."

Rian nodded. "But you didn't want them to."

"No," she nodded curtly.

"Because they wouldn't understand, they weren't you."

Lori nodded again, no longer glaring at him, but merely glaring in his general direction.

"And besides, in the past, when you'd tried to explain your reasoning, to tell them why you did what you did, they ignored what you said, ignored your perfectly reasonable arguments, and tell you how you were wrong. They'd say things like how they understood, but obviously they didn't understand because then they'd tell you what or why you did something was wrong, and you should have done something else, except what they told you was something stupid or irrational or didn't benefit you or had to do with someone else's feelings," Rian continued.

Her head jerked up, glaring at him.

"What? I had parents too, you know," he said. He was looking up at the sky, at something over her head. "You know they only do that because they want what's best for you, right? It never seems like it at the time, when they're telling you all the wrong things you did and how they'd have done something else and you can't help thinking they're saying how much better they are than you, but when you let yourself calm down, some part of you knows they just want you to not get hurt, or not get in trouble, or fall into bad habits or bad company."

He brought his gaze down, his expression…tired, for some reason. "You don't want to talk about it. Okay. I'll leave. But I think you can't properly decide what to do with Grem until you think about whatever it is you don't want to talk about and come to some sort of conclusion. It doesn't have to be a conclusion you explain to me, doesn't have to be one I agree with. But it has to be a conclusion you reach. And until you do, I don't think we should bring Grem with us, because I don't trust him, I don't want him in our demesne doing who knows what, I don't want to waste resources on him by putting him in some kind of prison, and I don't want to let him be some sort of wandering danger by letting him loose out in the Iridescence."

They sat in silence at those words. Rian waited expectantly. She said nothing.

He sighed, picked up his boots, and got to his feet.

"I would have killed her."

Rian paused and sat down again.

Lori's head was bowed, and she was staring down at her staff on her lap. "I would have killed her, if she'd been older," she said quietly. "If I'd realized who she was sooner. I was looking for her. I was looking for someone with pale hair, someone related to the doctor." She let out a bitter laugh. "It's ironic. If Grem hadn't attacked as soon as he saw her, if he'd merely confirmed she was the Binder, she might have died like he wanted. I'd have killed her myself."

"Why didn't you?"

She continued to stare at her staff. "I don't know. I suppose I was surprised. By the time I realized who she was, it was too late. We were surrounded, and it was too big a risk to attack."

She had wanted to kill this place's Binder, sight unseen. Back when they'd been an abstract, unknown person, Lolilyuri had wanted to kill them and take this place for her own.

Grem hadn't been manipulating her. Nothing he said had made her want to kill the binder of this place. That desire had been born in her own heart. He'd simply been helping her reach what she already wanted. The path he'd been leading her through was one she'd walked willingly, and only ignorance of who to kill had kept it from being a run.

Rian nodded. "Are you glad you didn’t?"

She glanced at him, but he didn't have that look of smug self-righteousness that sort of question usually came with, like of course the answer would be yes. He seemed to genuinely be asking her.

"I don't know," she said, looking down at her staff again. She still felt that frustration, the want to make this place hers… a part of her wished for another dragon, just so this place would fail as she and Grem believed…

Rian nodded again. "Correct me if I'm wrong," he began, "but it sounds like you don't want to punish Grem severely because you feel it would be somehow hypocritical, that he's being punished for something you wanted to do anyway."

Did she?

"I don't know…" Lori said, her eyes following the wire wrapping.

Rian nodded a third time. "You know what you need?" he said, his voice surprisingly gentle.

She looked up tentatively.

"You need a nice dinner and a good night's sleep," he said. "This is probably not the sort of thing you should force yourself through on an empty stomach."

As if in response to her words, her stomach twinged. She became conscious of how dry her mouth was as she swallowed.

"Come on," Rian said, a little bit of his usual enthusiasm in his voice. "Let's get this box back on land and go back for dinner."

Tentatively, Lori looked up. She nodded.

Food. Yes, food sounded good. And afterwards…

"If it helps, I think you're wrong," Rian said as he pulled at the anchor rope to tug them back closer to land.

A twinge, a feeling of betrayal. She was wrong, he said. He was telling her how she should have done it…

"I don't think you'd have had it in you to kill Shana even if she'd been older," Rian said as the bottom of the boat began to scrape on the short. "You're not like Grem. You both thought about it, but you didn't do it, and you didn't try to make anyone else do it when you found out you didn't have it in you to do it. You're a good person, and you did the right thing, even if you think you just hesitated."

Lori stared at him.

Rian grabbed his boots leapt over the side and pulled the boat the rest of the way.

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