Weekly Digest 131 - (#413 - #415) (Patreon)

In Complete Opposition

The rest of the day, as well as the next, were without incident, barring the occasional additional episodes of ‘… … …’. No one noticed, as such episodes were common enough to not be noteworthy, like Binder Lori not remembering people's names.

Binder Lori had sequestered herself in her rooms again during those days, expanding the boundaries of Lori Demesne again. It was a process Shana was naturally curious about, but Binder Lori's orders had been clear. She was not to learn more about Deadspeaking, and asking about the methodology of expanding one's demesne surely violated that order. Well, it was only an idle curiosity. Besides, as she was not capable of Whispering, she would no doubt be unable to utilize whatever methodology Binder Lori was utilizing.

According to Lord Rian, the demesne had grown a little under 17 paces as a result. Combined with all previous growth, the demesne had nearly reached 5 taums in width, or it would after another day or two of Binder Lori expanding the demesne.

The day after, the Coldholdfinally returned from the sea. Shana felt the boat enter the boundaries of River's Fork Demesne from downriver at about late morning. Once she was certain it was the vessel and not the arrival of the next batch of people from the golden Sweetwood Company, Shana dutifully informed Uncle Kolinh so that the demesne would be prepared for its arrival. Lord Rian and Binder Lori were both absent, having gone to River's Fork so that the latter could work on some improvements to the dragon shelter there, and Lord Rian had left him in charge.

Once she had done so, Shana went to gather the children under her care. With the Coldhold now confirmed to arrive later that day, she set them to preparing to leave. This involved returning borrowed clothes, borrowed toys—or in some cases, getting those toys back—and getting them to put their clothes in their packs properly instead of just pilling them on top of each other. The soonest they would be leaving was the next day, and it was likely when they would be, so she needed to get everyone ready.

Fortunately, aside from getting toys back—most of which were either little carved wooden beasts, dolls made from straw and bits of wood, or game boards made from plank scraps—most of the older children knew how to pack, and could help the rest. Shana helped Yoshka put her clothes in her leather pack, and managed to find the little wooden beast she had carved for her cousin, which had been very difficult to make given the restriction on her regarding sharp objects.

Shana had to mediate a few times, as there were disagreements about whether something had been lent or given, and if any of the adults were forced to become involved in the matter they wouldn’t care about the validity of arguments. Fortunately, reminding the arguing children that such involvement would result in the adult in question deciding to take the toy or piece of clothing away from both was usually enough to get them to calm down.

Most of it was due to issues of forgetfulness, and once someone was sufficiently reminded the item in question was peacefully—mostly—returned to its rightful owner. In one instance, the borrowed toy—a straw doll that belong to Adgwyne—had been damaged, and the one responsible—Galef—had been trying to hide the fact be claiming the doll had already been returned and that Adgwyne must had somehow lost it. Shana had needed to step in directly here, and eventually the truth had come out. As it was a straw doll, Shana had taken it to Wizard Taeclas, who had been able to repair the damage.

It had resulted in a cooling of relations between the two girls, which was unfortunate, but outside of the purview of their well-being. Their being was well, Adgwyne was merely angry at Galef for damaging her doll and then lying about it. It could well have escalated to a physical altercation, but fortunately Adgwyne decided to prioritize the safety of her doll and left, leaving Galef guilty and miserable.

“I’m sure this can be mended with an apology,” Shana advised. “Later, once she’s calmed down.”

“Well, what if I don’t want to?” Galef cried, stomping away before Shana could reply.

…

Despite not having Binder Lori’s difficulties when it came to remembering names and faces, sometimes Shana could understand why the woman would wish to delegate all ‘dealing with people’ matters to Lord Rian. Why did people sometimes act in complete opposition to the goals they clearly wanted to achieve?

…

She should probably ask Lord Rian. Perhaps he could explain it to her.

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At dinner, Shana ate at Binder Lori’s table, as she had been unable to speak to her or Lord Rian when they had arrived. The latter gone on his rounds speaking to the various people who had been left in charge of one matter or another, and the former had taken refuge in her room. Judging by how sweat-soaked the Dungeon Binder had been, she had probably gone to enjoy a bath and a change of clothes.

“—ished our salt supplies, as well as River’s Fork’s,” Lord Rian was saying as Shana carefully hollowed out one of Yoshka’s ball-like buns of bread, mixing the excavated food into her cousin’s stew. Once there was a reasonably-sized hollow, she began carefully spooning stew into the, making sure there was an even proportion of meat, sliced tubers, and pieces of vegetables. "They also reported no sign of the Golden Sweetwood Company, but then if they actually saw anyone, whoever they saw would have arrived right after the Coldhold."

Once the bun was filled with stew, Shana carefully handed it to her cousin, who began eating it enthusiastically. Unfortunately, there was more enthusiasm than care, even if Yoshka was no longer as messy as when she'd first seen Lord Rian fill his bread like this and immediately asked Shana to make one for her as well. Shana kept part of her gaze on her cousin in case she made a mess, and she would.

Binder Lori nodded as Shana broke off a piece of her own bread and dipped it into her stew. She had to admit that the stew paired with the bread very well, although she was far more restrained than Yoshka. "How much longer before the boat fittings are finished?"

"The carpenters tell me they'll be able to start assembling the fittings tomorrow. We'll be using the hull of your boat two, since you said you preferred using the walkway on the outrigger for getting on and off boats."

Binder Lori looked confused for a moment as Shana used Yoshka's spoon to scrape off some of the stew that had gotten on her cousin's face so it wouldn't drip down. "My boat two?"

"Yes. You know, that first boat we had Lidzuga make that."

"Lori's Boat Two?"

"Yes, your boat two, that's what I said."

Binder Lori's unamused stare into Lord Rian's innocent expression was interrupted by the sound Wizard Taeclas laughter. Unamusement turning to bemusement as the two regarded the woman, who was bent over with one hand on her stomach and another over her mouth, her shoulders heaving in clear merriment. Next to her, Rybelle looked concerned, glancing between Lord Rian and Binder Lori.

"Congratulations, Rian. Someone thought you were funny," Binder Lori said dryly as Yoshka finished her stew-filled bread, and Shana took a moment to use a piece of bread to wipe Yoshka's stew-stained fingers to keep her from licking them.

"That or the joke was so terrible I've induced some sort of health issue," Lord Rian said as Rybelle visibly relaxed.

"Oh, so you admit your jokes are terrible."

"It depends on the context and what material I have to work with. Breathe, Tae, breathe. Let the air in sometimes."

The Deadspeaker nodded shakily as she got her laughter under control. "S-sorry. I wasn't expecting it… sorry…" After succumbing to one last attack of giggles, Wizard Taeclas returned to her food with a wide smile on her face.

"If I may interject, Lord Rian," Shana said as Yoshka started eating her stew with a spoon, "would the Coldhold be available to ferry the children to River's Fork tomorrow, or will we need to delay the transfer to give the ship's crew time to rest?"

He glanced towards Binder Lori, who waved a hand dismissively to indicate he should answer Shana's question, before turning back to answer. "It shouldn't be a problem," he said. "I can operate the ship myself as long as I had someone help me with operating the driver and spotting what's ahead." He looked towards Binder Lori again. "You'll be doing more work on the reservoir tomorrow, right? Do you mind riding on the same ship as the children, or do you want to take one of the other boats so you don't have to wait for the children to get ready before leaving?"

"Why would I need to wait for the children?"

"Your Bindership, you know how long it take for a ship full of adults to get underway, and that's when they know they need to hurry. How long do you think a ship full of children will take to get everyone onboard and done with saying their goodbyes?"

For a moment, Binder Lori was silent as Shana went back to her food, her spoon starting to scrape the bottom of her bowl. Then she nodded firmly. "Prepare a different boat for me. I intend to leave directly after breakfast."

Auntie Riz sighed. "I guess I'll start looking for who can come along after dinner, then."

Lord Rian winced. "Sorry, Riz."

"Eh, still better than being an officer."

"If you were an officer, you could order someone else to do it for you," Binder Lori pointed out.

"…still better than being an officer," Auntie Riz repeated firmly.

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I Could Use Some Advice

As promised, Binder Lori—accompanied by Auntie Riz, Auntie Mekari, Auntie Brabli, Auntie Vapoli, and Auntie Sintelerra—set off for River's Fork after breakfast the next day. The Great Binder had on her usual expression of distaste and resignation that she usually did whenever she knew she had to leave the boundaries of her demesne as the boat moved away from the docks.

The Coldhold wouldn't be able to follow until much later.

Despite the preparations Shana had made the children do the day before, they still had to wrap up bedrolls, fold blankets and awkwardly try to find a way to carry pillows. In the midst of all this, they had visitors saying good bye—which wasn't so bad, even if they delayed proceedings—or visitors inviting the children to play because they obviously weren't leaving yet so they had time, which Shana had to be watchful for, otherwise they might not be leaving that day. Someone tried to bring along the bound tool that moved the air, and Shana had to quickly but firmly insist that it had to stay behind. She had to repeat this four times, and eventually had to carry it around with her so that it wouldn't be unattended.

Getting everyone to the Coldhold took time and the combined efforts of herself, Koyan and Kayas all herding the children to make sure none wandered off between her house and the ship. Along the way, the children of Lorian Demesne said their goodbyes, and for some reason several bade Shana goodbye as well, which was very confusing. Fortunately, there was help to be had when they reached the docks. Lord Rian was there, ready to operate the ship has he had promised the night before.

“All right everyone,” he announced cheerfully, a big smile on his face. “Let’s bring all your stuff below decks! You all want to get back home to see your par—”

…

…

…

…

…

“—asha? Shasha?”

Shana blinked, and found herself coming back to her senses as the disruptive emotions receded. Yoshka was mashing her cheek so intently it was almost painful and Shana found that she’d stopped moving in the middle of the stone dock. It was painfully hot under her feet, even through her reed tsinelas. “Ah, thank you, Yoshka.”

Her cousin was staring up at her with a concerned expression, and some of the children were looking at her curiously. Lord Rian… he was giving her the same look he always did whenever he saw this happen to her. Resigned and tired and helpless and guilty.

“You’re crying, Shasha,” Yoshka said.

She was—? Ah. Shana felt the tears. Yoshka’s hand was smearing them. “I’m fine, Yoshka. I just thought of something sad for a moment.”

Yoshka stared up at her, and suddenly the small hand wasn’t touching her face anymore. Shana swayed back slightly as Yoshka suddenly hugged her. She awkwardly patted her cousin on the back.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lord Rian let out a small sigh and shake his head. “Let’s get moving, everyone. If we hurry, we’ll get to River’s Fork before lunch.”

With Lord Rian’s assistance, they were able to get all the children’s belongings into the Coldhold’s lower deck. The belongings… well, they were all dumped into a big pile, but they‘d have time to sort through it on the journey, since most of the children would be below decks away from the sun, and they’d have little else to do. By now everyone knew better than to run around, after all.

…

Despite this, she was fairly certain the children would try running around

Unlike when the Coldhold left for a long time, there wasn’t as much time spent saying goodbyes on the docks. Even if the summer finally seemed to be cooling, it was still hot, and the stone under their feet was felt like fire. After one last goodbye, the children of Lorian took off their shirts, girded their skirts, and dived into the water, and Shana had to stop the children in her care from doing the same, lest they lose even more time. She had to relent and allow them to pour water on themselves using one of the Coldhold’sladles to cool off, but after that it was onto the ship so they could set off, handing the bound tool to Koyan so that she and Kayas could take it back to her house just before Shana stepped on the boat as the last aboard. The children in the water swam back and waved goodbye at them, and the children under her care—they were still under her care until she could get them to River’s Fork—waved back as Lord Rian guided the Coldhold backwards out into the river.

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“You were out for longer than usual back there,” Lord Rian said as Shana sat near him. Her hair dripped water down her back, keeping her relatively cool against the heat. “Are you… well, are you as right as you usually are?”

Down below, the children were sorting through the messy pile they had made, trying to sort it out again. Between that and the Coldhold’s own bound tool that generated a breeze, they were mostly staying put. Shana had stepped out to give them room, since she didn’t have anything to sort through, and she had made sure to set Yoshka’s things neatly to one side.

“No,” Shana said immediately. “I’m not.”

Lord Rian nodded, glancing to either shore to ascertain where they were. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Shana nearly demurred, but paused. “I could use some advice of a matter that is occupying my attention, if you are willing.”

“Well, of course. I’m a lord. Giving advice to Dungeon Binders is part of the job.” He paused. “I can’t guarantee it won’t be bad advice, though.”

Shana nodded. “That is acceptable.” She took a moment to consider the phrasing of her question. It wouldn’t do not to hear the answer, after all. “How do you deal with someone no longer being… present?”

He was silent for several moments. “I try not to think about them,” he said quietly. “Get on with my life. Accept that either attempt is doomed to failure. Do it anyway because they wouldn’t have wanted me to just collapse, feeling sorry for myself. Occasionally collapse, feeling sorry for myself.” He shrugged. “Basically everything you’re already doing.”

It was Shana’s turn to be quiet. “I have never seen you collapse.”

“Ah, but that’s because I pick my moments,” Lord Rian said in a cheerfully tone. He was clearly building up to a joke. “After all, I can’t do it all the time. I’m a lord, I have responsibilities. People to help, things to inspect, Dungeon Binders to advise… the trick is to set aside a regular part of the day to collapse into a ball of sadness, woe, tears, and self-pity. The end of the day is best, since you’re going to go to sleep soon, which will let you recover. Just spend a little time each day letting yourself wallow in your grief.” By the end, his voice had turned melancholy. “And now you know why you’ve never seen it.”

“That is painful,” Shana said sharply, shuddering and repulsed at the very thought. “Why would you do such a thing?”

A small smile appeared on Lord Rian’s lips, a lopsided, twisted thing. “Because, Shana… the thing about pain is that if you feel it for long enough… it starts hurting less. When you stub your toe, it feels like you want to cut it off to make the feeling go away—never mind how that will actually hurt even worse—but if you give it a little while, it becomes just a throb.”

That…

“And how long before it stops?” she asked quietly.

“Well, I’m coming on seven years now, so… ask me in another seven years.” He paused. “Sorry. Lori never asks about this sort of thing, so I’m a bit out of practice in giving advice.”

Seven years… her insides felt like they were writhing in her chest and clenching around her heart…

“I believe I should be more specific regarding the advice I am seeking,” Shana found herself saying.

“That’s usually best. Makes it less likely for me to give bad advice,” Lord Rian said brightly.

"Thank you, Lord Rian." Lord Rian's head slumped down. "Why do people sometimes act in complete opposition to the goals they clearly wanted to achieve?"

“Are you changing the uncomfortably painful subject?”

“Yes.”

"Then speaking purely in hypotheticals and not naming names, the short answer is because sometimes people are idiots and aren’t thinking clearly," Rian said. "The long answer depends on what a person wants to happen and what they're doing or not doing to achieve it. Or not achieve it, as the case may be. The simplest answer, however, is usually because there’s a matter of pride involved. People tend to do very contradictory, occasionally self-destructive things to protect their pride, even if they don’t consciously see it as a goal."

“I… see. What can be done about it?”

“Not a lot, unfortunately. If someone isn’t thinking clearly, there’s very little you can do to make them. You can point out the flaws in their logic, but unless they’re willing to rethink what they’re doing, they’re unlikely to. That connects to the pride issue. It’s usually pride that makes people unwilling to change or rethink their decisions…”

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They arrived during lunch.

Normally, or so Lord Rian said, this would mean that there would be no one in sight as they approached the docks, as everyone would be eating. And indeed, through her connection to the demesne’s core Shana could feel the concentrations of life that she knew to be people were all congregated at the dining pavilion. However, she could also perceive someone who had been at the edge of the dome, and who had begun moving towards the pavilion when the Coldhold had come into sight. By the time they were approaching the dock, a crowd of people had appeared to welcome them. Shana knew them all, of course.

They were the parents of the children she was bringing back.

It was all she could do to keep the children from simply jumping into the water or running onto the dock as soon as the Coldhold’s outrigger ramp drew close to the dock. She was careful to stay far from the railings at the edges of the ship, lest she have an episode of ‘… … …’ and accidentally be pushed into the water. The envy of seeing the children running to their parents had been a painful constriction in previous instances but not enough to overwhelm her.

After the recent change, however, it probably wasn’t a good idea to take chances. While she knew that the children would never intentionally harm her, in their excitement might be a bit thoughtless, and it would take much force to accidentally push her into the water. Registering outside impetus would be delayed, but her body’s functions would still continue, so there was a very real possibility that if she fell into the water in that state she wouldn’t know to hold her breath. The pain from water in her nose and lungs might send her back to her senses, but getting out of the water afterwards…

No, best not to risk it.

And so, while all the children went to greet their parents, speaking excitedly about… well, she couldn’t really hear since she was too far away, Shana went down to retrieve Yoshka’s pack containing clothes, her pillow, and her blanket. . Lord Rian was gone, not doubt on his way to meet with the Great Binder or speak with Unc—Lord Yllian to filled with Coldholdwith fruit to bring back to Lorian Demesne. Master Cottsy had moved to sit in front of the bound tool’s breeze, and nodded respectfully towards Shana when she came down. She answered with her own nod in acknowledgement before she collected her cousin’s effects.

It took a few moments to find Yoshka again. She was off to the side, being lifted up by dyadya, who was smiling in a way Shana hadn’t seen since…

…

…

…

Her left arm rose and slapped her cheek hard, and she picked up her flow of thought where it had fallen. Dyadya and mushka hadn’t smiled like that in Shana’s presence for a long time as Yoshka reached towards cousin Verik.

She took a deep breath and turned to put Yoshka’s things on one of the benches of the cabin in the middle of the ship. She still needed to organize having the children retrieve their things from the hold. Only then would her responsibility be discharged.

Only then would the children no longer be under her care.

And then—petulant child—she would be all alo—

…

…

…

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You Won’t Be Alone

…

…

Shana’s left arm rose and slapped her cheek hard, and she picked up her flow of thought where it had fallen, then went back to eating her lunch. With her final responsibilities discharged, she had nothing more to do until it was time to return to Lorian Demesne. Around her, lunch was being drawn out as the children ate their meals, which was the same sort of stew and bread that was served in Lorian Demesne, even if the recipe was a bit different. The stew had fruits—pink ladies—instead of tubers, and the meat used in it seemed to salted and smoked rather than relatively unaltered frozen meat. That made the stew both fruity and salty, while the bread had small bits of fruit in it, giving it a slight flavor.

It was more flavorful than what she had eaten back when she had been in charge of River's Fork, although to be fair she had needed to cook her own food, and she had been lacking in time to cook anything more complicated.

Next to her, Binder Lori and Lord Rian were speaking. "—could fill the reservoir the hard way, one bucket at a time," the latter said. "After all, there's no rush. We can take our time filling the reservoir. It's not meant to be a drinkable supply of water, after all. That's what the water barrels are for, even if they need to be rotated out every week."

"Hopefully not simply one bucket at a time," Binder Lori said, but nodded. "Very well. If necessary, I could simply add more water to it in the event of a dragon."

"I think even with a dragon, there'd still plenty of time to drag two or three barrels worth of water up to the reservoir. Of course, you realize what this means, right?"

Binder Lori eyed him suspiciously. "What are you talking about, Rian? The reservoir is almost finished. That means the work is almost done. There's no realization to make."

"Ah. All right. Then I won't say anything."

"Good."

"Congratulations on being done, then! Now the carpenters just have to finish with the doors, and the dragon shelter will be all—"

"What should I realize?"

"Don't make me answer, it will just make you unhappy."

"Rian…!"

A sigh. "Fine. Now that there's a source of bath water, are you going to make baths for men and women?"

"…" This was followed by a drawn out groan as Binder Lori's head slowly slumped down.

"I told you it would make you unhappy."

Binder Lori simply continued groaning.

"You don't have to build it. I'm sure people can make their own arrangements for bathing."

"They'll get dirty water into the reservoir or flood the floor if I don't do something," Binder Lori said, looking both distracted and resigned.

"Should you really be speaking so publicly about your low opinion of the adults of this demesne?"

"They were the reason they were starving. I have no evidence to prove they could act any more competently when it came to not tainting their own water."

Lord Rian shrugged, then looked around at the few people who could hear. "You could just… not build baths and let them reap the consequences of their actions?"

"I have to be here the next time there's a dragon. I'm not putting up with just trying to bathe wherever."

"You could just make a bath for yourself. What's one more door?"

"I am NOT making a second water reservoir to catch all that bathwater."

For some reason, Lord Rian stared up at the ceiling. Eventually, he said, "Has anyone ever told you that you keep making things much harder for yourself than you need to?"

"You and my mothers," Binder Lori practically growled. "Things have to be done properly, why does no one understand that?-!"

Lord Rian just nodded. "All right… well, do you need me to do anything for you? To make things easier for you?"

Binder Lori just waved her had in a dismissive gesture. "Just see to loading the fruits onto the boat."

Her food not eaten, Shana decided to interject. "Is there anything I may assist with, Lord Rian?"

Binder Lori's head snapped to look at her, as if the woman had forgotten Shana's presence… which might actually have happened.

He glanced towards Binder Lori. "Do you want her to do anything specifically, your Bindership?"

The Great Binder's face returned to her usual glare-like expression in repose as she considered Shana. "If you have nothing more to see to here, then you should head back to assist…" She looked around the table for some reason, as if she expected something there, before grumbling and reaching down to her belt pouch, which she rifled through and until she drew out a piece of rock. "…Taeclas with imbuing the crops in the dungeon farm."

"There… aren't anymore crops in need of imbuement in the Dungeon Farm at the moment, Great Binder," Shana said.

"She wouldn't have a lot of time anyway, it's already past noon," Lord Rian pointed out.

Binder Lori looked beyond the dining pavilion, looking at the angles of the rays of sunlight shining down through the dome, then grunted. She looked towards Shana. "Make yourself useful and be ready to return with us when we leave."

Shana nodded. "Yes, Great Binder."

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Shana spoke to Lord Yllian to learn about the demesne's current state and to learn where she could be of most assistance. There'd been some mild injuries with the mine workers that morning. Wizard Lidzuga had killed the dust life around the wound and sealed the skin closed again, preventing infection, but there were still some bruises that he hadn't been able to heal completely at the moment. Wizard Lidzuga was also doing some maintenance on the houses, but that wasn't something she could really assist with beyond imbuing, and they already had an arrangement where she imbued any new deactivated meanings that he left behind at the end of the day.

She went to the mine to offer healing, using her glowing stone to help her navigate the tunnel, until she reached where the miners were. The mine had extended by another five paces, beams placed every so often to support the low ceiling. While Shana could navigate the tunnel comfortably, most adults would have needed to stoop slightly. She made a note to bring the matter up with Binder Lori. The walls on either side seemed bare of ore, so there would be no loss for the Great Binder to reshape it into something easier to traverse. Shana healed the injured miner—Master Cymbelry—as well as the other minor bumps and bruises the miners had accrued while they worked but had not resulted in wounds, such as bruises and some aching muscles. There was little she could do about the coughs some of them had, as that was a result of the dust. Wizard Taeclas and Wizard Lidzuga would be able to do more, or even the doctors and medics.

On her way out of the mine, Shana encountered Binder Lori, who was walking behind a large mass of stone that rolled and flowed like clay ahead of her, her staff in hand and its metal butt cap touching the mass as she guided it with Whispering. The Great Binder's face was sweating, her expression set in a glare that was probably actually intended to be a glare, and despite the fact she was in the mine she was still wearing her hat. Auntie Riz and Auntie Sintelerra followed behind her, the two nodding to Shana as she fell into step with them.

The Great Binder dragged the stone over to a pile of mismatched, swirled looking stone, adding the stone to the mass. When she finished, she didn't so much nod in satisfaction as sigh in relief, turned to go back into the mine, and went stiff when she saw Shana.

"Great Binder," Shana said, standing with her hands folded in front of her, on the other side of Auntie Riz and Auntie Sintelerra.

"Binder Shanalorre," Binder Lori said tiredly. "What is it?"

"Have you examined the sections of the mine that are being actively delved for copper?"

As Shana explained her observations, Binder Lori's face became more and more displeased. Once Shana would have been concerned, as it was not unknown for a militia officer to take their anger out on their subordinates. However, that was not a concern with Binder Lori. The only ones she threatened violence on were those who broke her rules and Lord Rian, who admittedly occasionally provoked her. As such, Shana had no fear as she reported what was clearly more work for Binder Lori to do.

"Your observations are noted, Binder Shanalorre," the Great Binder said in what was almost a sigh. "I'll… get to it eventually." She waved a hand dismissively. "Get back to work."

Shana spent the rest of the afternoon trying to obey orders and making herself useful. She helped Wizard Lidzuga perform maintenance on the dome, which involved her claiming and imbuing large quantities of the life of the trees that composed it and allowing the more experienced Deadspeaker to take her claim. This allowed him to have access far larger sections of the dome in a much shorter time than if he had tried to claim the life himself. This allowed him to examine large sections of the dome and tame the necessary meanings needed to maintain the dome's structure. Dead portions were carefully ejected so they wouldn't succumb to fungi and decay, and new branches were induced to grow and repair breaks in the dome.

If nothing else, the dome was in place now, and they needed to make sure it didn't break down and possibly hurt someone when it fell to the ground.

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When late afternoon neared, Shana perceived Lord Rian entering the mine and moving towards Binder Lori. When they and the aunties who'd been escorting the Great Binder exited the mine and started walking towards the docks, she knew it was time to go. Excusing herself to Wizard Lidzuga, Shana began making her way to the docks.

"Shasha, Shasha!"

Her footsteps paused, and she turned to find her cousin rushing towards her, a big smile on Yoshka's face. "Are you done now?"

Shana nodded. "Yes, I am done working for the day."

"So we can go to the baths now?" Yoshka asked eagerly.

Shana hesitated. "I can't go to the baths with you, Yoshka," she said. "The Coldhold will be leaving soon, and I need to be on it."

"You're leaving?"

"Yes, Yoshka. I need to return to Lorian Demesne."

"But… but you said we didn't have to go back there anymore! You said that we could live with tota and tyatya again!"

Ah. Shana realized that she had erred at some point. "Yoshka, I said you could live with mushka and dyadya again," she said, doing her best to be gentle. It was becoming difficult, as the distress was arising within her at seeing Yoshka starting to become upset. "However, I have to go back. That's where I live now—"

"No! No, I don't want you to go!"

Shana had to step back to balance herself as Yoshka hugged her torso tightly, just barely managing to raise her arms to keep them from getting trapped. "Yoshka, please let me go…" she said gently, even as thoughts filled her. She could just stay here. Here, she could be with Yoshka. She wouldn't be alone here.

The petulant child wanted to stay.

“I don’t want you to go! Don’t go!” Her cousin did as well

However, Shana was a Dungeon Binder. And Dungeon Binders fulfilled their responsibilities, despite what they wanted to do. Despite how hard it was. Regardless of whether it made them cry.

…

But Dungeon Binders also indulged children. Even petulant ones.

Shana blinked, and everything hurt all over again. Tota was dead. Tyatya was dead. Yoshka was crying in her arms, begging her not to go, asking her to stay…

The tears she’d been keeping inside flowed down her face as she knelt down and hugged her cousin. She couldn’t lose her! She couldn’t lose Yoshka!

The two sobbed, simply holding each other.

She could stay, Shana realized even as she cried. Her clothes, bedroll, and other things were still in Lorian, but she could borrow clothes and share Yoshka’s bedroll, small as it was. She could just stay here, and not go back to Lorian Demesne. Here, she’d be with Yoshka, and Verik, and mushka, and even dyadya…

But Mushka had grown distant from her… and dyadya resented her because she had decided to take her responsibilities as the Dungeon Binder seriously, and not simply be a figurehead for him to rule the demesne through…

And… if she wasn’t taking care of her responsibilities… if she simply did nothing… there would be nothing to distract her. Nothing to keep her from thinking about…

A sob tore itself from Shana’s throat as she buried her face against Yoshka’s shoulder. It hurt. It all hurt. Why did everything have to hurt? Why did tota and tyatya have to die and leave her alone?-! Why? She didn’t… She couldn’t… She…

A scream tore itself from her mouth. She didn’t want to feel like this! It hurt… it hurt so much! She wanted it to stop, she wanted it to stop, she—

…

Her sobbing slowed, even as her shoulder’s continued to heave from involuntary movements, and Yoshka continued to clutch her tightly. Her breathing slowed and evened out, and the intermittent spasms slowly vanished, even as Yoshka’s own tears began to calm. Even a child only had so many tears. Eventually, Yoshka’s own tears stilled, although she continued to hold Shana tightly.

The two stood there quietly, Yoshka’s shoulders still shaking.

“Yoshka,” Shana said, her face smooth, her voice even save for a few involuntary shakes, “I need to go.”

“Don’t want. S-stay,” her cousin said stubbornly.

“Yoshka…”

“Don’t w-want you to go. Don’t want to b-be alone. D-don’t go.”

Shana closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Yoshka, you’re not alone. All the other children are here. Nera, Ardlia, Febe, Adgwyne… they’re all here with you. You won’t be alone.”

“Not the same,” Yoshka said stubbornly. “Not you. You’ll b-be gone…”

“I’ll come back. I’ll come visit. I’ll only be gone for a little while, not forever. Even if I’m gone now… I’ll always come back. I can come back. And while I’m gone, you won’t be alone. Verik will be there.”

Yoshka didn’t let go. “I don’t want you to go,” she insisted stubbornly.

Gently, Shana picked up Yoshka and began walking.