Update (Patreon)

It’s really difficult figuring out how to start this and what to say exactly but I’ll do my best.

I know this is the first time you’ve all heard from me aside from my rare pop-ins on twitter letting people know I’m still alive. I really just needed time. A lot of it apparently. More time than I thought. I’m going to be talking as a person and not as an artist.

The sudden death of both my parents was a lot for me to handle. I’ve never experienced such soul shattering grief before and I fell into a 5 year depression. My depression and grief took total control of my life. I couldn’t enjoy anything anymore. My drive and sense of purpose was lost. I couldn’t be social, post, create. I was suicidal. I felt that nothing in my life that I did mattered since the only person who validated me was gone. Grief and mortality really consumed me.

I needed to get away and do what I could to help my mental state. Without therapy I’ve been doing what I can for myself. For a long time I’ve been trying to be who I was before my parents died. But I realized that I just need to be a new version of myself for this new chapter in my life.

I want to apologize to anyone if I ever made you feel like I was ignoring you and for leaving my responsibilities behind. I want to do and be better. I’m a work in progress.

I’ve never openly talked about this and it makes me really nervous posting this publicly since this delves into my personal life so deeply.

I want to do my best to connect with people, make friends and art again.