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Episode 12.5: Cars 2 (Patreon)

Published:
2021-07-27 23:01:03
Imported:
2021-10

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Content

In this episode, we discuss Cars 2.
Join us as we slowly go completely insane considering the far-reaching ramifications about the lore of the Cars universe that literally every line of this movie offers. Who built those houses? Was there a Car crusade? What happened to the Car Princess Diana? Why the FUCK are there AMBULANCES!???

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Comments

Evie Moon

The level of psychic damage listening to you recap this movie dealt to me is unreal. Thanks, I hate it.

Mark Schwagner

Wow, just listened to this, I never planned on seeing this movie & now I know I've heard the most entertaining possible version. Thanks

theunderwolf

Is isekai a genre in cars and if so what is truck kun

Jon, it hurts

"there was a car soviet union" god id love a car movie about that theyre all just shitty soviet cars lmao

Mythopoeist

The existence of the Protocols of the Elders of Lemon implies that TzCar Nicholas II had his oCarna secret police write and disseminate it to distract from his shitty performance in the Russo-Japanese Car War. This in turn implies that the Carsheviks formed the Petrolgrad Soviet in 1905, the Car British empire was allied with the Car Japanese empire, and at some point someone wrote a version of The Railway Children that contained a thinly veiled expy of renowned Anarcho-Carmunist theorist Pyotr Carpotkin.

Anonymous

We love to see the madness this episode.

George Rohac

Literally cried laughing at everyone having different moments losing their minds to the horror of this movie. Absolute delight.

Brian Danger Hicks

So, in our universe the pope started using the popemobile because it was becoming unseemly to be carried around on a sedan chair. In the Cars universe this seems like a pretty lateral move.

Lauren Cabral

I was enjoying this episode, but then the transphobia part just makes me sad and paranoid about my gait.

Lauren Cabral

Also is it narcasistic to make my carsona a Bugatti Chiron?

Anonymous

You have only scratched the surface of this world. There are two primary schools of thought that attempt to make sense of the Cars Universe: the Maximum Overdrive theory, and the Carwinian Evolution theory. Maximum Overdrive theory proposes a machine uprising destroyed humanity and that cars were imbued with intelligent life through advanced AI and genetic engineering. It's named after the film Maximum Overdrive. They also choose to emulate the human society they overthrew for unknown reasons. A variant of this theory has the cars being intelligent insects who live in the shells of cars, initially using an extinct humanity's leftover cars before manufacturing their own. Carwinian Evolution holds that cars instead took the place of humans from the beginning, evolving from animals into intelligent beings, possibly with wagons and chariots being either recent ancestors or the actual first intelligent life. Both these theories, however, are challenged deeply by canon, even discluding the semi-canon of Planes. In the first Cars film, a car called Sarge mentions *participating in* the "Battle of the Bulge". Either there is an unrelated war that also has a battle of the bulge, it was a reenactment, or Maximum Overdrive has some holes in it. Carwinian Evolution fairs little better. The fact that all the cars are based on real models of cars that are sometimes referenced is troubling to the evolutionary process. Car creationism or car computer simulation still work but those are unfalsifiable theories and therefore kinda boring. I've been brainstorming a more adequate theory with no luck. This Cars Universe is like a C'thulu, like a Vampyr squid of the deep ocean that evade our understanding, it kills itself when we attempt to study it, or we go insane trying to comprehend it.

Void WL

I was listening to this while on my bike in town and laughing like a weirdo in front of everyone Also the lemons are disabled people. The analysis of them as an antisemitic metaphor for Jews in terms of their role in the narrative is an insightful one, but also they are disabled people, their bodies have abnormalities which cause them to need help to get around

Void WL
>>64607443

Now all we need are queer cars and car Romani (sentient motorised vardo wagons?), like you said the car holocaust must have happened so now we know who it was against

Anonymous

I think it’s gonna take a while for my brain to recover from this…

Anonymous

The list of things I have seen now contains everything

Void WL

Did you see the Jack Saint video about this film edit: oops alice mentioned it at the end

sol

‘What is the car version of nutting’ just destroyed me

Anonymous
>>64598166

Personally lost it during the repeated "what do ambulances do?", ""it's all piss!" and mapping out historical events bits

Anonymous

devon‘s „don‘t hurt me“ had me in fucking stitches. this is just fantastic 🤟🏻

Anonymous

You guys should do an episode on “The Heist” (1971), it’s from a time before editing was invented, it’s got an American blonde, it’s set in Germany, Goldfinger is in it.

Anonymous

So, as a Classicist, I have to ask: was there Car Ancient Greece and Rome? Were they cars or chariots or carts? What was there food? Was oil discovered early? Was there Car Caesar and Car Aristophanes and Car Homer? Car Trojan War? Car Olympian gods? Oh my, my brain hurts thinking about this…

Anonymous

I think I will finally be able to forgive my son for subjecting me to this franchise. Thank you for your service, you heroes.

Andrew Cumming
>>64616737

There has to have been a car Rome, to have appointed Car Pontius Pilate as governor of Judea to play his role in the Car-ucifixion

Freyr Aloysius

Fucking dying 1min in, this is gonna be a good episode lmao

Anonymous

RIP to the next Q&A

Nolan Thomas Denman

So hold on, if someone shoots at the Pope (car, sentient), does the Popemobile (car, sentient) just have to take the bullet? Are they at least bulletproof?

Dana Himrich

Me at the beginning of the episode: oh this is gonna be an EXPERIENCE Me by the end of the episode: oh my god this movie is evil I was not wrong about it being an experience, though. Probably the funniest collective mental breakdown I've ever had the privilege to witness. I kept waiting for Abi to randomly let out a deafening screech of pure agony.

thejackalope231

Was there a Car-l Marx who wrote Das Carpital with Friedrich Engine? Was there a Car Lenin ranting against Cartsky in "State and RPM"? What is caramel? The questions are endless and horrifying.

Anonymous

This is a real thing that exists and would certainly have been used to crucify Car Culture Christ, I'm sure in a totally chaste way despite this also being sentient. https://external-preview.redd.it/IaxO2YeWp0rNdlknQF8f8z_9eqWdEzbvtFQHJpGb8W0.jpg?auto=webp&s=1f0496b1bec701c52c5fee4c5e4814c39ec78b0c

-Kris-

Cargaret Thatcher.

Jack Nitschke

According to Wikipedia, Mater is made a Knight of the Garter by Car-lizabeth II.

Meonlights

I can accept the oil weirdness because I mean... it is sort of like water? We drink water and excrete it with some other stuff in there and it is part of our blood. But literally everything else about this world makes no sense. Why is there a gender binary? Can cars have babies? Why do they have teeth if all they consume are fluids? Jfc it is so weird.

Rufus Dean

If there was a car second world War, is there a car Israel/Palestine?

Anonymous

You need to follow this up with a bonus episode on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Ian Fleming’s magnum opus

Memento Moron

Originally, Pixar was going to make all the cars with their eyes on their headlights, but they thought it looked too uncanny. That one scene was supposed to be an inside joke. Although, in universe, that doesn't make it any less suspect.

Andrew T. Wilson

Was there car slavery? A car civil rights movement? Martin Luther King Jr.? (his name already has two car references)The Black Jaguars? Does that explain why there are practically no black cars in these movies? (A couple of background race cars and cops, and the only speaking role: a crazy old woman...)

Andrew T. Wilson

So I'm looking at the Cars wiki trying to piece together something out of this madness, and I learn that Dale Earnhardt Jr. voiced a character in the first movie. Bit of stunt casting, perfectly fine normal and good. Then I learned the character's name: DALE EARNHARDT JUNIOR. No cutesy pun, no joke, just his real-ass name. The implications for world building are staggering. A universe exists, different enough from our own, that sapient cars rule the planet, but similar enough that one of them is a race car with the exact same name as a famous driver. Did this Dale's father also die in a tragic racing accident in a race won by Darrell Cartrip? What. Does. It. All. Mean?!

Anonymous

You didn't answer the most important question: Are the Car Albanian bunkers sentient??!

DumbDumDumbDumb

Pontiac Pilate crucified Jesus Chrystler

Anonymous

I could've listened to this one for like 2 more hours at minimum. Definitely makes me want to hear the pod's reaction to more stuff with fucking unhinged worldbuilding

Anonymous

I just want you all to know that this was the unlocked bonus episode that got me to sign up for the patreon. I need more of this in my life, immediately.

Keifru

Burning through the unlocked bonuses, this was the one that tipped the bucket over for me to fling dosh at yall. Yall's dynamic is great, and I always love 'thinking too deep about the implications of [movie]'. Though, on the mention of making a memey 'cars 2 facism' thumbnail, there was a person who took a more Disabled/Eugenics angle of it (Jack Saint, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6qMgiA-VY0&t=443s ).

Anonymous

This episode has truly brought so much joy into my shitty week. So absurd. ^_^

Anonymous

If Mater is rusting, does that mean he has leprosy?

Anonymous

This page, about halfway down, essentially explains the dinosaur thing.

Corporal Burpfart

Car Princess Diana obviously died in exactly the same way - smashed into the side of a tunnel while fleeing photographer cars.

Mel Vitta

This is now one of my favorite genres of film analysis: overthinking the Cars franchise.

Clark Schaefer

Okay, so, Cars 2 universe, Kill James Bond podcast, three magnificent trans cars discussing a bizarrely racist and nonce-y car film series, is episode 12.5 of that podcast about Humans 2 and do they have a similar mental breakdown? Or do they realize what the rest of all of their houses are for?

Anonymous

I regrettably bought cars 2 cause it's pixar and I have kids...how bad can it be? Fucking terrible. Your analysis was brilliant. I'm almost happy to have seen the movie so I could appreciate it more. I was in my workshop laughing like a madman.

Anthony

What I think you are ignoring for car 9/11 is that a car inside a sentient plane can most likely control them using the Ratatouille method.

Anonymous

Bugs are also cars

God's Eepiest Soldier

i have to come back 6 months later to point out: Toussaint Levoiture and Jean-Jacques Gasoline. thank you