[TIER 10] IATL: Chapter 7 (part 1) (Patreon)

Gabriel closes his eyes and tries to breathe. He knows that if he tells Chase the truth, he'll end up losing him. Of course, he told him anyway. He can't not tell him. A friendship based on lies and deception is no friendship at all. And Chase deserves more than that. Unable to hold back the tears, he lets them fall, footsteps loud in the hallway.

He'd been foolish, thinking he's worthy of Chase's time and attention- had used his generosity and big heart for his own selfish reason. Chase is kind, loyal and brave. Hadn't thought twice before offering his friendship like it was nothing. He had made him smile and laughed, something Gabriel hadn't done in awhile. For a while there, he felt normal again. And he was so hungry for it, he had let himself brought into the lie. Just so he could bask in Chase's warmth and presence a little longer.

But of course, it wouldn't last. His bubble burst and in the worst way possible. As if the guilt he's carrying for accepting his generosity wasn't enough, his selfish action had almost cost Chase. He was shocked when Chase had offered to take his place and it was then that he knew he had to tell Chase the truth. He cannot be selfish any longer- will not use Chase's open-heartedness against him. Chase deserved more than that. He had offered Gabriel kindness when he deserved none. He owed Chase the truth.

The worst part about the whole thing was how he had held a tiny glimmer of hope that Chase might still want to befriend him. That Chase might not look at Gabriel any different after knowing the truth. That- maybe he could still have Chase as a friend. It was pitiful how hard he was holding on to that notion. How can he expect someone else not to be disgusted by him when he himself hated what he had become? Hated what he had let happen to him. Hated what the home had turned into because of him. He had done so much wrong. His life here is exactly what he deserves. It's time he faces reality and stops dreaming.

Wiping away his tears, he steels himself. He forces his feet to carry him to Lucas's office, his mind made up. He knocks and waits until he hears Lucas's assent through the heavy oak door before letting himself in.

The group home isn't fancy, but it's adequate to house seven people comfortably. The office is small with a robust looking work table and armchair. Lining the walls on both sides are filing cabinets and right behind Lucas is a large window overlooking the streets. The sun is shining into the room, casting the man in front of him in shadows. Lucas glances up and once he sees who's at the door, straightens up and leans back in the armchair.

Without wasting any time, he asks what he came here for. "I want to work a corner. Is there one you can send me to?" When Lucas doesn't respond, he hastily adds. "I will be back before it's time for me to go to Chastity's." Lucas continues to stare at him, quiet and unmoving. Feeling nervous, but also determined, he stands his ground, staring unblinkingly back at the man.

It's a long moment as Lucas considers him, blue eyes intent before he says anything. "Your usual corner won't be busy at this time of day. Take the truck stop, the one a few miles from here. Be back by seven. I don't want you to be late for Chastity. You know how she is when she's pissed."

"I won't be late. Thank you," he says and turns around. Just as he's about to close the door behind him, Lucas calls out. "Gabriel?" He pauses, waits. A moment of silence, then "Nothing."

Gabriel nods and closes the door. Walking back to his room, he changes into a tight fitting jeans that hang low on his hips and a pale blue T-shirt that brings out his eyes. Observing himself in the mirror hanging on his closet door, he takes in his appearance.

Though he isn't skinny nor small, he's the walking embodiment of jailbait. It's all in his eyes. His dark hair and pale olive skin bring out his electric blue eyes. They give him an air of innocence. Wide and naive. His high cheekbone, the sharpness of his nose and his defined jaw give him an almost angelic look. He wets his chapped pink lips and scrubs a hand over his light scruff, debating if he should shave.

Deciding against it, he grabs a string of condoms from his bedside drawer. Always use a condom when working the streets, that's Lucas's rule. The only time he doesn't is for Zael. And since last night, Ramsay and Alastair. He trusts Lucas's judgment. Maybe it's stupid but he believes Lucas looks out for him.

Unwilling to risk running into Chase in the house, he hurries towards the front door. Once outside, he slows down his pace, but not too much. There's an itch inside him that makes him restless. The sooner he gets to the truck stop the better. Then, he'll be able to let his thoughts go blissfully blank, instead of being plagued by persistent green eyes and warm smiles.

It's another thirty minutes before he reaches the medium-size building on the outskirts of town. He scans the parking lot, taking in the few trucks parked outside. The deli adjacent to the tank station seems to be bustling with activities so he figures that he might be able to get a client or two soon. He walks towards the back of the building where the restroom is located. It's easier to pick up potential clients in the relative quiet away from prying eyes.

There are advantages to having Lucas as their pimp. For one, no one messes with them. At first, there are still the occasional oblivious johns who thought it's okay to fuck and not pay. But they learned soon enough. Those johns were found beaten and incapacitated the next day, bodies thrown like trash in the garbage bin courtesy of Alastair and his cronies. Words spread fast and people got the memo. It's hard to say since he'd been on the streets now for only a few weeks. But during this time, he has yet to be assaulted.

Gabriel had also noticed that the local gangbangers acted wary and terrified when Lucas was present. Curious, he asked the others about it; the prostitutes working the corner with him. They had looked at him weird like he was stupid. Then, as if sharing a big secret, they leaned in close and whispered about how the leaders of the gangs who used to own them were found dead. The very next day, Lucas was there to take over the businesses. It wasn't difficult to connect the dots. The thought that Lucas would kill, or could kill sent a shiver down his spine. He hadn't asked anymore after that.

He looks up from where he'd been staring at his sneakers when he hears someone exits the restroom. A burly man in dirty jeans and plaid drenched in sweat ambles out, pulling up his zipper. When the man catches sight of him, he rakes his muddy brown eyes over his body, whistling appreciatively. Gabriel straightens at the attention.

"You selling?" the man asks, spitting on the ground.

"Depends on what you want," he answers, pitching his voice lower, more seductive as he peers up at the man through his lashes.

"Hot damn, kid. With a voice like that, you sound like you've already had a few dicks down your throat. How much for a blowjob? Let's see if we can make you sound even more fucked."

"That would be 50, ..." he trails off, unsure what to call the man.

"Call me John. Let's do it in my truck. More privacy that way." The man nods in the direction of the parking lot.

Right, John. Appropriate name for what they are about to do. He nods and follows John, who's quick to grab his ass and squeeze, before wrapping his arm around Gabriel's waist, fingers hooking onto his belt loop. As they walk towards his truck, John slips his other hand into the front of his pants, groping for his penis. He jerks when John finds it and tries to ignore his ministration.

When they finally get into the truck, John has already gotten himself all worked up and is quick to pull down his pants and underwear. He lets them hang around his knees, exposing himself lewdly. "Suck me, whore," he instructs.

Taking a deep breath, air stank with overdue sweat and body odor, he closes his eyes. This is what he wants. This is what he's here for. This is what he's good at. Most of all, this is what he deserves. Opening his eyes again, he wets his lips, slides onto his knees between John's leg and grabs the cherry flavored condom out of his back pocket.

---

The afternoon sun is shining down on him, tingling the back of his neck. Chase gives the backyard one last scan before closing the door. Gabriel is nowhere to be seen. He had searched the whole house, asked the others and still no sign of the teenager. Thinking he might have gone outside again, he went and checked but no. The house isn't that big, they're bound to cross paths somehow, especially since Chase's actively seeking him out. He hopes that Gabriel isn't avoiding him.

Stepping inside, he deliberates. He hadn't checked Lucas's office yet. He doubts that Gabriel's there, though. What is he going to do? Help Lucas plan more appointments and handle the bookings? Yeah, right. Given what Gabriel had told him earlier, he's more likely to offer himself. His heart stutters and he stops in his aimless wander. No way is he going to do that, is he? Gabriel's crazy talk about penance comes to mind and he marches right up to Lucas's office and knocks. He waits. No answer. He knocks again. Nothing. Gripping the doorknob, he turns it and peeks inside. It's empty.

Fuck. Maybe they went out together? Lucas did apologize and when Gabriel left, he was in a pretty vulnerable state. His mind races. Images of Lucas and Gabriel in various scenarios flash through his head. The two of them huddled together in a booth at the back of a coffee shop, sipping hot coffee. Or they could be strolling about in the park, hands in hands. Maybe he took Gabriel out for a proper lunch, not just a spontaneous lunch with sandwiches Gabriel made himself. His stomach churns at the thought. God, he sucks.

He shuts the door, feeling dejected. He wanders towards the living room, lost in thought. Why does he care? Gabriel is obviously in love with Lucas. It isn't unusual if they're out on a date or something. He did say that Lucas treated him well, before. Maybe with his guilt from this morning, he's being extra nice to Gabriel? His guts churn uncomfortably at the thought. He doesn't know why it bugs him so much. He hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep last night, remembering the three words Gabriel muttered in the silence of the van.

Love you, Lucas.

His heart aches. He doesn't know why it had hurt so much. It's just a crush! Crushes are not serious. He had enough of them in the past for him to get over this. Forget about Gabriel! But no matter how much he wants to, Chase can't. Something about Gabriel draws him in. Maybe it's the way he seems so sad all the time. So lost. Resigned. Like he had long given up hope of ever being happy. And Chase can't let that happen. Not when he'd seen Gabriel's secret smiles, seen the way his blue eyes twinkles when he's amused, watched his full-bodied laugh and the way his nose scrunched up when he does and realizes he'll never tire of seeing Gabriel happy.

He plops down onto the well-worn tan couch, the dip in the seat cushioning him. Staring in space, he wonders when did Gabriel become such a significant fixture in his life. When his happiness became so dependent on that of Gabriel's. He sighs and lets his eyes trail over to the giggling sounds emanating from the corner of the room. Sam is glowering as he places his token into jail while Amelia happily rolls the dice. He glances at the cloak hanging on the opposite wall and lets out another sigh. Settling in to watch the two kids battling it out on Monopoly, he hopes that Gabriel is okay, wherever he is with whatever he's doing.