Positive Reinforcement (Patreon)

I’m straight. I’m straight, alright? I just want to preface this with this disclaimer.

Also, I’m using words like ‘preface’ and ‘disclaimer’ because Evan’s been tutoring me. I guess I should start with that.

Evan is my roommate. He’s really smart, like, supercomputer smart. I don’t think he really needs to learn anything at university, he just needs to prove he knows it all. But it works out for me, because he’s also a great roommate.

He really looks like a stereotypical nerdy type: wiry, no sense of style, chunky glasses. He kind of talks like one, too; He uses big words and references classical literature all the time.

But he never talks down to anyone. If you tell him you don’t understand something he said, he’ll break it down to help you. I thought it was sarcastic at first, but he’s really very sweet about it.

I’m not that smart. I’m just in college cause I play football. Evan doesn’t like football, he thinks it’s hurting my brain. Not in a “TV and porn will rot your brain” kind of way, but in a “getting concussions every few weeks will mess things up in there” kind of way.

I’ve only gotten two or three or five concussions over the years, but I can see his point. I can’t just drop football, though, is the problem. I’m not smart enough to make it through university without that foundation, or, as Evan says, that privilege.

This is why Evan is tutoring me. I guess this has gotten kind of off topic, but this is important context. Evan’s working on becoming a neurologist, studying how people’s brains work. He records the activity in my brain whenever he tutors me, and I get it for free. Win-win.

As he does it, sometimes he’ll sneak in some tests of his own, to see how my brain reacts. ‘Sneak’ is the wrong word; he doesn’t really hide it. I know he’s doing it, and he knows that I know.

One of the earliest I remember was when he was helping me with calculus, which I suck at, when Evan offered me a little chocolate mint candy for each question I got right. I only got one mint that night, but I was proud that I got it.

This is apparently called positive reinforcement. Evan loves positive reinforcement, especially since I apparently respond very well to it.

He does this for a few things, now. I’m doing my laundry more, cause every time I get one done I get a candy from a big jar Evan keeps on his desk.

Usually now he doesn’t even need to be there, I just take one. At first, the temptation to just take as many as I wanted was pretty strong, but it’s not even there now.

He uses things other than candy, too. Good grades get a gift card, usually just ten bucks or so, and a few weeks ago, he gave me a blowjob for passing an important final.

Oh, yeah, Evan’s gay. I don’t think I’ve mentioned that. He didn’t really show it, so it didn’t bother me. I thought it would be awkward, having him check me out, but I kind of like it.

Like most things, he didn’t hide it. He tells me when I look good or when I change my hair or get out of the shower. It feels… good, being complimented like that. It always feels like he means it.

I think maybe that’s why I agreed to the blowjob, and also because I was too busy studying and playing football to go meet chicks anywhere. At the time I hadn’t gotten off in close to a week.

He was fucking great. The man sucks cock like his life depended on it. From the way he acted and sounded, it was like he was having just as much fun as I was. He’d do this thing with his tongue, getting the entire head at once, it was incredible.

He also swallowed like a champ.

He started incorporating more physical stuff into his positive reinforcement after that. Nothing as crazy as a blowjob, but he’d kiss me and let me cuddle with him. It was nice. Even when it was just the physical contact, it was nice.

A week ago, I passed another important final. I had sort of implied that I wanted another blowjob for doing so well. Evan had agreed, after I stopped implying and just asked, but he made a significant change: he wanted a blowjob, too.

Now, at the start, I would’ve said no, obviously, because there was a snowball’s chance in hell that I would put any man’s penis anywhere close to my face.

But Evan wasn’t just any man. It was Evan, my friend, who I knew and trusted and could suck cock better than any girl I’d ever met.

So I agreed. Evan gave me the choice of doing it one at a time, or sixty-nining. After much deliberation, I chose to sixty-nine, because I figured that if anything could make me enjoy sucking cock, it was having my cock sucked at the same time.

We ended up doing it on my bed, me laying down on top of Evan. I had been worried about squishing him, but he said he would like that. I was nervous, and after every little adjustment Evan would ask if I were sure. At the end, he even offered to just suck me off and I wouldn’t have to do anything, but I didn’t take that deal.

I realized, slightly later, with Evan’s cock in my mouth, that I hadn’t taken that offer because I wanted Evan to feel good. I wanted to give him positive reinforcement.

But before that, we had to actually begin. Evan started first, getting me to push my hips forward until he could take my cock into his mouth. The tiniest bit of teeth grazed it as he grabbed hold, sending an intense feeling of surprise down the length of my body.

“Sorry,” he said, except it didn’t really sound like any word, because he had my dick in his mouth.

Then, I leaned down until I was staring at Evan’s crotch. His dick was big, bigger than mine by probably a few inches, and I wasn’t too shabby myself.

“Goddamn,” I said, laughing nervously. “How long have you been packing a fucking subway footlong down there?”

It was a stupid, nonsensical thing to say, but it got a snort out of Evan, and both the vibrations and the knowledge I had made him laugh felt amazing.

I had the benefit of having use of one of my hands, which made it easier for me to line his cock up with my mouth. I started with just a lick across the tip as I held the base with one hand.

Evan shuddered and mirrored my movement, dragging his own tongue across the head of my cock with agonizing slowness.

It didn’t taste bad, as I had feared it would. It basically just tasted like skin, which is to say not like much at all. Assured that I would at least be able to tolerate going further, I pushed my head down a bit, taking the tip into my mouth.

Then I retreated, spooked. “Sorry,” I said hurriedly. “I’m just nervous.”

“Take your time,” is what I’m pretty sure Evan said, though again, it was hard to tell. Another quick lick suggested that this was an accurate guess.

I moved back down, taking the first inch and a half into my mouth. I was as careful as possible to avoid letting my teeth touch his dick, and I think I did okay.

Experimentally I bobbed my head slightly, dragging my lips across the length of Evan’s cock, which got a positive response in the form of his hands

It took a few minutes for me to start comfortably sucking Evan’s cock, but I eventually did find a good rhythm. The whole time Evan had basically just warmed my cock, giving it little licks and kisses as I did stuff he liked. Even then he was using positive reinforcement.

When I was confident I could take some of it without instantly gagging, I put my head down, taking the first few inches of his cock. It brushed up against the roof of my mouth, wet with saliva and pre, and I rested its underside against my tongue.

Simultaneously, I bucked my hips forward, pushing my own cock deeper into Evan’s mouth. His arms were held in such a way to keep me from pushing too hard all at once, and so I didn’t totally crush his head there. I think he might have liked if I did, though.

I bucked a few more times, getting a feel for how deep I could go. I could feel my balls resting against the bridge of his nose when I bottomed out, and I could feel Evan take deep sniffs, enthralled by my masculine scent.

I just sat there, again, just for a moment, marveling at what I was doing, what I was feeling. What Evan was feeling. I wanted him to feel good. I wanted to make him feel good.

I started with a sort of seesawing motion, lifting my upper body up while I thrusted down with my hips, then vice versa. As I got more comfortable this became more of a wave motion.

Evan’s cock was so big that after a bit of practice I could get it past my mouth and a bit into my throat, which I liked. It felt… good, being able to fit so much of it, even if I still couldn’t take the whole thing.

A steady trickle of salty precum flowed from it, either down onto my tongue or directly down my throat and into my stomach. It didn’t taste great but it wasn’t really gross either, as I had feared it would be. It felt like proof that what I was doing was working, which meant I liked tasting it, even if I didn’t like the taste.

Having Evan’s cock in my mouth made it easy to forget that he had my cock in his. He was amazing, of course, an expert. The way he sucked and licked and kissed my dick felt better than anything I’d ever done with a girl.

But it felt… secondary. I loved the way I could feel my balls slapping against his face, but that wasn’t why I was here.

With my free hand I pumped the lower shaft of Evan’s cock, which was wet with my spit and his pre. I pumped rapidly, excitedly, making obscene noises as I moaned around his length.

I decided I wanted to swallow his cum, which meant I needed to get him to cum.

I forced my hips down as far as I could go and held them there, effectively pinning Evan in place. At the same time, I took his cock as far as I could into my mouth, most of the way to the base.

If I felt my throat, I probably could have felt the cock that was stretching it wide throb. Certainly I felt it inside. I fucked Evan’s face shallowly and rapidly, bobbing my head around his cock at the same pace.

Then, Evan came, right into my throat. He cums a lot, by the way. I could feel it flow down my throat and also back down into my mouth. I held in place as tightly as I could as I felt my own orgasm hit, my load simultaneously filling Evan’s mouth. I jerkily thrusted a few more times as my orgasm subsided, and as the flood of cum in my mouth returned to a trickle.

I pulled my hips up but kept my face down, trying to clean Evan’s cock and swallow as much of his cum as I could. When I was satisfied, I pulled away from Evan, then flopped over onto my back parallel to him.

My breathing was ragged and tired, and my face was a sticky, damp mess of my spit, Evan’s cum, and our combined sweat, but I was wearing the dumbest, happiest smile. I had done it! It had been good! I wanted to run and jump around in excitement, except I didn’t want to move at all.

“Was that good for you?” I asked. My voice was totally wrecked.

“It was perfect,” Evan had said.

The only movement either of us made in the next hour was Evan turning around to hug my side.

Evan is my boyfriend now. I’m a straight man and I have a boyfriend and I love him. It’s not weird if you don’t make it weird.

I was originally going to mail this to my family, but I don’t think they’d appreciate the blowjob scene. I don’t know what I’m going to do with this letter now.

I guess I’ll just hold onto it. Maybe, someday I’ll look back at this and feel the way I felt writing it: hopeful, confused, and very, very horny.

I guess I’ll just send my parents a postcard, or something.