My Best Friend is an Eldritch Horror - Chapter 260 (Patreon)

“You’re serious about this?” Sylph asked, squinting at Yui. “This isn’t a joke?”

“I wish it was.” Yui let out a heavy sigh and ran her hands her through her hair. “Do you really think I want to be going around, asking people to help me pick out a boyfriend? Would you want me to do that for you?”

“Absolutely not,” Sylph said without an instant of hesitation.

“You didn’t have to be quite so fast to answer that,” Yui said, scrunching her nose up in annoyance. “But then you can imagine how I feel. Unfortunately, I really don’t have much of an option. Typically, I would have tried to ask Damien since he’s been amiable to my requests before, but he’s nowhere to be found.”

“He’s busy. And I’ll be honest, Princess Yui. I don’t think I’m the best person to look for someone for you. My own understanding of relationships is… pretty flawed. I probably don’t know what the best traits to look for in someone are.”

“It seems like it worked out for you fine with Damien.”

“We got roomed together by Blackmist. Then some stuff happened. I don’t know how much credit I can take for much of anything. Circumstances just kind of took care of everything for us.”

“Some stuff?” Yui asked, arching an eyebrow. “That sounds juicy. Now that we’re having this talk anyway, care to share?”

“Sure. I shattered my core and he stabbed me in the heart to carve a bunch of runes on my chest and save my life.”

Yui grimaced. “Ah. Of course he did. I was hoping for something a little more romantic, but I suppose neither of you have much of a romantic bone in your body.”

Sylph cleared her throat and glanced away. “Yep. None.”

She missed the smirk that flashed across the princess’ face before the other girl got her features back to their typical poker face.

“Lack of experience or not, I really don’t have someone to turn to right now,” Yui grumbled. “I don’t mean to insult you when I say you aren’t my first choice, but I’m seriously out of options. With the threat to the frontlines and the Corruption looming, my mother is pressing for me to find a match more than ever before. I really don’t have much time to be picky. I just don’t want to hate them for the rest of my life.”

“What was wrong with Nolan, then? You seemed pretty eager to get out of that particular relationship.”

“I was trying to be nice,” Yui said, burying her face in her hands. “Don’t get me wrong – I’m not attracted to Nolan. He was a prick for most of the years I knew him. He started changing after he went to Blackmist, but all I can see is the snotty little noble that was betrothed to me for years. When I realized he wasn’t interested in me either, I was more than happy to swap him for someone of my choosing – I just didn’t realize everything would go bad so quickly. If I had, I would have kept Nolan. At least I can tolerate him.”

The princess tugged on her hair and stretched out, splaying her hands out over the edge of the bench and looking into the sky with a groan.

Sylph chewed her lower lip. The person she’d grown up training to kill was sitting on the bench next to her, complaining about a lack of good romantic interests. If anyone had ever tried to tell her this was where her life would have lead, she’d have laughed in their face.

“Please?” Yui tried, her face twisting as she said the word. “And I’m really not used to asking for things this politely.”

“I can tell,” Sylph said with a snort. “I suppose I can try.”

Yui’s eyes lit up, but Sylph raised a finger.

“But that doesn’t mean anything beyond me trying. I won’t guarantee anything. My training takes priority over this, and I honestly don’t think my advice is going to be that great, so you don’t get to complain if you don’t like who I suggest. Feel free to ignore it, but no claiming I didn’t try.”

“Deal,” Yui said. “Anything is better than nothing.”

“You haven’t seen who I’ll dig up yet,” Sylph replied with a wry grin. “Enjoy the rest of your day, Princess. I should get moving before someone catches us talking and gets too suspicious.”

“That’s a good idea. Wait, when will we meet again? It isn’t too easy for me to get away from my people during the day. Shouldn’t we set up a time to regroup and share discoveries or something?”

Sylph snorted. “You’re making this sound like a covert mission, Princess.”

“It is!”

“I’ll find you. Just don’t get your hopes too high. I’d hate to let you down,” Sylph said, rising from the bench. She set off, leaving the Princess staring behind her.

That had possibly been one of the strangest interactions she’d ever had, and Sylph wasn’t sure she was particularly keen on it. That said, the idea of trying to find someone else a boyfriend did sound a little fun.

Damien probably would have gotten a huge kick out of it. Sylph grinned to herself. There was no way he’d be able to beat this story. She couldn’t wait to tell him about it.

***

The endless expanse of gray snapped back to full color. Damien let go of his staff, his limbs trembling with exertion, and he flopped back into his bed with a groan. He’d been training with Kat and the advanced class for around a month now.

He’d been pretty confident in his abilities, but Kat had quickly shown him just how much more room he had to grow. Instead of teaching him new magic, she doubled down on working on everyone’s casting speed and pushing them to the absolute limits.

Damien lost count of the number of times that Kat forced them to fight until they were all out of Ether, then draw on what little dregs that could squeeze out to continue pressing on in preparation. It took him considerably longer to run out than his fellow classmates, but Kat just used that as an excuse to spar him longer.

He was fairly certain that Sylph was actually a better fighter than Kat, but the Professor was far stronger than his girlfriend – not to mention she was considerably faster as well. She didn’t pull her punches much either.

Still, Damien couldn’t complain. He could feel his body growing stronger and spells were coming to his fingertips faster than they ever had before. When he wasn’t working with the class, he spent most of his time focused on trying to improve his connection to the Void.

His efforts there had proven successful as well, although to a lesser degree. At Henry’s advice, Damien avoided casting any new Void spells. In fact, he didn’t cast any Void spells at all – instead, he focused on trying to push back against the immense apathy that threatened to overcome him whenever he connected to it.

It had gotten to the point where he could hold it back for nearly a minute, which he was rather pleased with. It wasn’t the longest time, but a minute was quite a while in a fight.

He brushed his hair out of his face, pausing for a moment to check its length. Henry let out a snort of laughter at his expression.

“I need a haircut. It’s past my eyes.”

“I was wondering when you’d notice,” Henry said. “But I did consider that you might have just decided it was time for a new look.”

“Well, if I had, it certainly would have been a mistake,” Damien muttered, tucking the hair behind his ears. “I don’t know how I didn’t notice this. I wish I had one of Sylph’s daggers.”

“I’ve got a dagger,” Xil called from the room over. She lobbed an icy blade out of her room in a slow arc. Damien snatched it out of the air.

“Thank you.”

He headed into the bathroom and used the small mirror he’d bought at Xil’s insistence to take care of his hair problem. A few minutes and one Devour spell later, his hair was cut and everything had been cleaned.

Unfortunately, while the cleanup had gone well, the haircut was… less than stellar. It was choppy and slightly uneven at the front. Not enough to be an eyesore, but it still made Damien’s eye twitch. Henry let out a snort of laughter.

“Well done, Cassanova.”

“Who?”

“Someone from one of my books. Never mind,” Henry said with a sigh. “You’re illiterate. I forgot.”

“I’m not illiterate. I just don’t spend my time reading smut.”

“Art.”

“We aren’t getting into this argument again.” Damien studied his hair in the mirror, pursing his lips before throwing his hands up and stalking out. Xil glanced at him, then quickly returned her attention to the book in her lap.

She wasn’t quick enough to hide the tiny flicker of a grin that tugged across her face, though. Damien just sighed.

At least she seems to be getting happier.

“Getting stronger tends to do that for people,” Henry said, rising up from within his shadow in a spiral of smoke. It formed into his spherical, tentacled form and gave Damien a smug grin. “And you’ve all been doing a fair bit of that. Who would have thought that Venus was actually a good teacher?”

“Don’t let her hear you say that,” Xil said, shuddering. “She’ll have my head. According to her, she just lets me sit in on her practice sessions. That isn’t technically teaching, and she won’t listen to anything otherwise.”

“But she’s a good teacher?” Damien asked.

“Oh, a great one,” Xil replied with a wide grin. “I’ve learned so much this past month. She’s even shared some of her resources with me. I suppose you really don’t need them once you evolve your Core. She just had a lot of it sitting around that she’s letting me take.”

“Well, if it’s working, I’m glad. Have you thought at all about what you want to do once I leave Mountain Hall? You won’t be able to stay here. I suppose you could try to talk to Venus about moving to her place, but I doubt you want to stay here.”

Xil pursed her lips and sighed. “I won’t be staying at Mountain Hall, that’s for sure. I’m not welcome here. Even if I was, I hate this school. It’s terrible.”

“You can say that again,” Damien muttered. “But there are a few redeeming people in it.”

“I won’t argue with that. I’m thinking about trying to apply for a transfer,” Xil said. “I keep participating in the advanced class training, and Professor Kat said she’d consider recommending me to another college if I can improve more.”

“Good luck with that,” Damien said. “You’ve been doing pretty well, so I think you’ll get there.”

“You think? I lose against every single one of you whenever we spar.”

“We aren’t good points to compare against,” Damien replied. Even if he didn’t count his Void magic, he was a step ahead of the rest of the advanced class. Quinlan was the closest behind him, with Venus trailing behind her. The other students were above average, but Damien felt like they were considerably weaker than Cheese and Aven. Still, compared to a Year One, the advanced class was an impossible target.

“I guess so,” Xil said. “It’s hard not to compare myself against you when you’re the ones I train against, though.”

“You’ll get a chance to see how far you’ve come soon enough. Then you’ll probably wish you didn’t,” Damien said. “I’m heading out to do some more physical training.”

“Good luck,” Xil said, waving farewell as he headed out of their room.

Damien set off in a light jog, accelerating into a full run after he felt like he was warmed up enough. Henry floated alongside him, bobbing merrily.

So, it’s been a month since you told me you’d get a full manifestation that wasn’t a little sphere of hatred. When’s that happening?

“Soon,” Henry replied, flicking Damien in the back of the head with a tentacle. “Don’t be impatient. None of the other companions have to go through what I do to make a full manifestation. I could always come out in my true form, you know.”

On second thought, I think I’m more than happy to wait. Good things happen to those who have patience.

“That’s what I thought,” Henry laughed. “At least you’re learning now. Better late than never, I suppose. And I guess it’s your impatience that I have to thank for getting to be here. It would have been quite lame if that never happened.”

Agreed. I can’t imagine having anyone else as a companion. I suppose I’ve got a lot to thank Moon for. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I want to focus on training. We’re almost at the forest, and I want to impress Sylph when we get to meet next. Maybe I’ll even be able to keep up with her in hand to hand combat.

“Keep dreaming.”