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Quick Feedback Question (Patreon)

Published:
2022-09-28 17:01:35
Imported:
2023-01

Content

Hey all, 

I've got a question for those of you who are reading Advent of Eternity. I just got a really bad review on RR, and I'm trying to figure out if what they said was actually true or not so I can assess if I'm writing poorly. 

Does the novel read well? The review said the characters were all flat, their motivations were uninteresting, and there's no motive or reasoning for anything. They also said I always just said what people were feeling instead of showing it and that everything feels very arbitrary or railroaded. 

In their words, "overall, this fiction is pretty bad. It doesn't meet up to my standards of good, evocative writing, and there is a critical lack of characterization, all the characters feel bland, unemotive, and stiff. The author, after the prologue (only good chapter in the novel) just throws us into the story and totally fails at providing context to slowly enlighten the reader (meaning, none at all or delivered in a confusing, indecipherable way). The characters are not relatable, and at this point, I'm dropping the story because I don't feel like I can root for the characters, nor do I feel like reading more bland writing."

Does any of that wring true, and is Advent significantly worse than my other work? I need to fix it if it is, but I just can't really tell since I'm the one writing it, so I'm hoping for some outside perspectives.

Cheers guys,

Actus

Comments

Bunny Waffles

While I can sorta see where the negative review might be coming from, I can't really agree with it. As others have said the pace seems a little weird at times, but for most of it it seems good. Like while the scene with the slaver town is interesting, especially I like how they liberate some of the slaves before booking it, it does seem to come a little outta nowhere, though that may just have been me. Again, while it could use some touch ups in places and maybe a little more fleshing out or spending time as they move from location to location, I have enjoyed it quite a bit. I did kinda let the chapters stack though so I could binge a whole bunch in one day, which I just finished up earlier this afternoon. Also, another comment mentioned disliking Anchor, but I quite like it myself, since it adds a good safety net for the crew in a world that you have established has people dying rather suddenly and violently thanks to ridiculously lethal jackasses, and it is interesting mechanic that can be used in clever ways, like how you first showed it off by having Strix straight up die as part of a gambit to cause a distraction and attempt to remove key targets from the field. Plus, it means that all the members of the crew have SOME sort of extra survivability trait since Cyll straight up can't die, and Knell has the Foresight eyes, if there wasn't something to keep Strix alive then they wouldn't be able punch above their weight class, something that they very much need to do, without the almost certainty of one of their crew members suffering a major injury or dying.

Actus
>>92546109

Thank you so much for the extensive feedback, I really appreciate it. :)

Cyclic Addict Recovering

re: "all the characters feel bland, unemotive, and stiff" My understanding of the characters in this story is they are primarily characterized by their main goal, their special power, and their usual attitudes. I think this is a decent approach to characterization. That said, I can see the gap between this story's characters, and those of say, Wandering Inn, in how there is little tension in the characterization. What is the inherent question each character embodies? Cyll wants to kill gods. Anchor is bored and is now out of prison, maybe horny for Strix out of boredom. Strix wants more power - like everybody else. Cyll's quest is interesting. But everything else feels more situational. I think as you continue writing more snippets of Strix's background, Anchor's background, will come through. Then you'll rework your ordering and pacing, to figure out how to best do those character reveals. Right now how Advent reads to me, is you're writing the story of Cyll's quest, and filling in the blanks as you go along. Compare how the pacing and dialogue of this story are, to say the style of A Practical Guide to Evil. PGtE's chapters are each poignantly focused on conveying some action, some point, or some reveal of what is obviously a larger world. Throughout the work. If you wanted to read up more on this area, from the little I recall of English class I think there's something along the lines of how Greek myths are structured that could inspire you. Like, how do you incorporate more "rising action" in the plot? Maybe what you could do is aim for this story reading like the Iliad - not in prose style, but in however the Iliad is regarded as a classic. re: "The characters are not relatable" Sounds like this is the crux of this reviewer's bone to pick with your story. It's not your problem if that reader was looking for a story to metaphorically jerk off to for their self-actualization fantasies. I don't think their review was written in kind spirit, but you can turn the other cheek and want to grow as a writer anyway. re: "is Advent significantly worse than my other work?" I don't know. This is the first of your works I've read. --- I feel the need to caveat all that I wrote above with who is giving you this feedback: I work as a software engineer by trade, and binge read at night works around the LitRPG genre... to fulfill a need to sense progress in my personal life, indulging avoidant tendencies. Binge reading LitRPG stories sometimes feels spiritually fulfilling when the characters are inspiring, and I feel like I can bring back some of their attitude into my personal life. Point being, I am no editor, I don't write fiction, take what I say with a grain of salt. This work for me... I could see it fulfilling what Eminem's raps do for me: cathartic for expressing frustration that I instinctively avoid. typo feedback: "Does any of that wring true," -> "ring true"

Cyclic Addict Recovering
>>92597683

Of tangential interest: I am currently listening to an audio book "Smart Brevity" by the owners of the Axios news group. 1 of 3 hours into the audio book, I think you'd find value in reading it, and thinking of how what they've said can be imbued in your works.