Return of the Runebound Professor - Chapter 523 (Patreon)

Noah set out from camp together with Moxie, and the two of them proceeded to promptly get themselves lost.

They really should have expected it. Neither of them had spent all that much time traveling around in Treadon on their own. Sure, Vrith had given Noah directions to Igris’ mansion, but a guide probably would have been a considerably smarter choice.

Noah and Moxie came to a stop at a large crossroads about an hour after setting out from camp. Despite the slightly unfortunate situation they found themselves in, Noah couldn’t help but be surprised.

He hadn’t ever stopped to actually think about the fact that Treadon wasn’t just a bunch of buildings on the back of a huge turtle. It was a city. Metal carts clanged against the cobbled road as they bounced down the streets, dragged by demons, monsters, and occasionally, both.

Large piles of leather-wrapped goods swayed on the backs of demons as they strode across the street in large hordes, only stopping to avoid running straight into each other. The smells of a city — both the good and the bad — intermingled in a remarkably displeasing manner as they entered his nostrils. A mixture of sweat, metal, oil, and a smattering of foods that could be placed somewhere between oily and greasy.

“You know, I never actually thought they had cars down here,” Noah said.

“Car?” Moxie repeated, her brow furrowing beneath the face wrappings she’d donned for their impromptu mission. “What’s that?”

“Carts,” Noah corrected. “Car is something else. Let some old vocabulary slip through. You know, it’s kind of interesting. I never actually properly learned the language we’re speaking. Well, that’s not to say I don’t know it. I know it — I just don’t know how.”

That gave him a moment of pause. He couldn’t remember how he’d learned English either. He just… had.Noah’s brow furrowed. That was a deeply confusing thought. He’d obviously been taught it at some point, but was that really functionally any different from the way he’d just stolen the knowledge of Vermil’s language straight from his—

“Noah?” Moxie’s voice held just enough iron in it to catch his attention.

“Yeah?”

“I’m as thrilled with hearing you think as I always am, but perhaps this isn’t the time?” Moxie suggested gently. “I think we may have been slightly waylaid. I’m pretty sure our good friend was situated in an affluent noble area.”

Noah glanced around the market square. Tall, two and three story buildings of rickety, reddish stone rose all around them. They were supported by thick beams of metal that ran through the sky overhead, connecting many of the buildings together, and jutted up from the ground at odd angles.

Treadon definitely hadn’t hired a particularly competent city-planner. It really looked like someone had let a kid loose in a playground full of wet sand armed with a giant box of metal skewers. The area they stood in was many things, but rich and affluent were definitely neither of them.

“There may be a slight chance I missed a turn or ten,” Noah allowed. He scratched the back of his neck and scanned over the surrounding buildings in search of anything that could situate them.

Most of the buildings were nondescript. There were a few scattered locations that resembled restaurants — not that Noah had any plans of ever eating in a demon restaurant. He didn’t trust the idea of that farther than he could throw it. They definitely didn’t have food safety laws.

Beyond those, he spotted a smattering of assorted stores that were devoid of any customers and, for some reason, a massage parlor at the far side of the street. Noah nearly headed straight into it purely out of curiosity as to what a demon massage parlor might hold before he stopped himself mid-step.

Moxie followed his gaze and arched an eyebrow. “Wow. You are really distracted today.”

“You can’t tell me you don’t want to know what goes on in there.”

“I — okay, I totally do, but I think I can take an educated guess,” Moxie said dryly. “And don’t even think about going in there without me if you can’t.”

“Well, you ask for directions, then. I admit it. I’m bloody lost, and I don’t think whipping out my flying sword here is a good way to avoid any excess attention.”

Moxie tilted her head to the side. Then she shrugged. “Okay. Massage parlor it is.”

“You were totally judging me for planning on going in there before.”

“Yeah, but this time it was my idea.” Moxie’s eyes sparkled in amusement as she started across the street. “It’s all about perspective.”

***

About forty minutes later, Noah and Moxie found themselves in an alley across from a marble-paved street. Tall mansions rose before them, their entrances barred by beautiful metal gates.  There was almost no foot traffic in the area, and Noah was stunned to spot several trees dotting the streets.

Noah wordlessly flicked a gold coin over to a middle-aged demon woman sporting a bob haircut. She snagged it from the air and gave them an appreciative bow before scurrying into the alleyways.

Noah rolled his shoulders and let out a satisfied sigh. “That was great.”

“Who would have thought they know the city so well,” Moxie agreed, turning to watch their masseuse disappear back down the street before returning her attention to Noah. “I’m glad you tipped her. She deserved it. I’ve never felt more limber in my life. Demons really know how to work the pain out of your muscles. And your ligaments. And your bones. Lee would have loved that place.”

“I’m just glad you warned me about what might happen after,” Noah said with a shudder. “I swear they were trying to beat the pain out of me. I may not have survived if I’d accepted the extended massage offer.”

“Maybe we can bring Igris for a visit once we’re all wrapped up with him.”

Noah’s smile darkened beneath his face wrappings. He craned his neck back to look up at the three-story mansion rising before them. It matched Vrith’s description perfectly. “Somehow, I suspect that he might not be in the mood for it.”

“Unfortunate,” Moxie said. She rolled her neck, then stretched her hands out before her. “Let’s get this over with already. I was in the mood to break something before we set off, but now I’m just kind of sleepy. Can we rest when we get back to the camp?”

“I’ll arrange for something,” Noah promised. “Now, let’s get to the gritty bit. How exactly do we want to go about this? Normally, I’d just bust in there and start killing things. I left my stuff with Lee, by the way, so don’t worry if I get myself killed. Occupational hazard.”

“Let’s save that option for last, shall we? The way you worded that sentence makes me think you have another idea.”

“Oh, no. I was just kind of leaving it open ended in case you did and wanted to suggest something. If not, I’m breaking in and wandering around until I find our big friend.”

Moxie rubbed the bridge of her nose and shook her head. “I’d fault that if it wasn’t so damn effective. You haven’t forgotten how strong he is, have you? Things could go quite poorly if you underestimate his powers. This guy could be as strong as Azel.”

“Oh, I’m more than aware.” The jovial tone slipped away from Noah’s words as he grew serious. “But I’m not as weak as I was back when Azel was lurking around us. A lot has changed. The biggest concern I have is that I need this guy alive and we’re breaking into his house. I could get bothered by a bunch of idiots while I’m trying to work.”

Moxie nodded slowly. “What do you think the chances are that there’s anyone else in that building that’s either a Rank 5 or innocent?”

“Rank 5, maybe. It would be dumb to assume there aren’t other powerful opponents. That’s just asking to get screwed over. But innocent? I suspect none. To be completely honest with you, unless I have a very explicit reason to believe someone is innocent or avoiding a fight, I won’t be taking the risk. Not when your life is involved.”

Moxie’s cheeks reddened. “Getting romantic before a mission is not helping me concentrate.”

“I wasn’t trying to be romantic.”

“I know. That’s why it was.” Moxie shook her head and let out a huff of air before reaching into her clothes and pulling out a small seed. She rolled it between her fingers, then raised her eyes to the mansion. “I’ll deal with the rest of the house. I’ve been working on something. Just don’t let your domain fall, or I might get you with it as well.”

  “Oh? What?”

“I’d tell you if I knew, but I haven’t exactly figured out the extent of what it does yet,” Moxie said, coughing into her fist. “It’ll do something, though. At the very least it’ll buy you some time. How long will you need to deal with Igris?”

“At least 30 minutes. Probably 40 if you can manage it? I’ll have to find the prick and beat the life out of him before I can force him to drink a Mind Meld.”

 “Then I’ll buy you 40 minutes. I can do it from down here if everything goes to plan. And I don’t think it’ll be hard for you to find Igris. This guy is linked to the ruler of Treadon, which means he’s just another government Wastelicker. Just start from the top of the building and look for the fanciest room.”

“Picking up some new lingo, huh?”

Moxie’s eyes narrowed. “Get moving, Spider.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Noah chuckled, then sent her a serious look. “But Moxie? If things go wrong — get out.”

“I will,” Moxie promised. “Just make sure you let me know if they do.”

“Oh, I will,” Noah said.

“How?”

His smile returned and he set his flying sword on the ground, stepping onto it. The weapon hummed to life and he lifted into the air.

“By breaking something really big.”

Noah’s eyes focused on a window at the top of the building. Noah had no doubt that the demon had some form of protection, but he strongly suspected that nobody had ever tried breaking in by flying straight through the uppermost window.

I think it’s about time we change that.