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Arwin did as he’d promised. He told Olive about the gemstone and the Adventurer Guild’s betrayal, not just of him, but of the entirety of the Kingdom of Lian. He told her of how he’d woken up beside Milten with his new class, and about how he’d met Reya. He told her about the way he’d come to learn that Lillia wasn’t the monster he’d thought her to be and he told her about Zeke. By the time he’d finished speaking, nearly thirty minutes had passed.

Olive hadn’t said a word the entire time. She stared at him, silently working to process everything he said. Even if she hadn’t been close to the Adventurer’s Guild, they were meant to be the saviors and protectors of the kingdom, not its slavers. Even after Arwin fell silent, his story finished, Olive said nothing for nearly a minute.

Finally, she gathered her words.

“The new Hero and Demon Queen. They’re… what, puppets? Just like you were?” Olive asked.

“I don’t know,” Arwin replied. “It’s possible. The fact of the matter is that I’m not strong enough to find out. None of us are. No matter how much I want to save everyone, I’ve realized that I need to focus on saving the people I can.”

The look Olive sent him made it clear she knew he’d learned that sentiment through experience. She gathered herself again, then shook her head.

“It’s hard to see you as the Hero… but at the same time, it kind of fits. I can’t say why, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.” Olive caught herself, then frowned. “No. Makes sense isn’t the right word. None of this shit makes sense… but I think I understand. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot for a planet that isn’t even yours.”

“It’s mine now,” Arwin said with a small laugh. “I remember so little of Earth that I don’t think it’s anything more than what once was. I’ve lived almost all of my life in Lian.”

“What will you do, then?” Olive asked. She gestured vaguely around them. “Is this whole guild the beginnings of your way to destroy the Adventurer’s Guild?”

“I don’t know,” Arwin admitted honestly. “I would love to carve the corruption out of them. But right now… even thinking about that would be a great way to get all of us killed. My first priority is us. I have a responsibility to every single person in this guild. Their safety is more important than my desires for revenge.”

“Noble,” Olive said.

“Experienced,” Arwin corrected grimly. “I won’t lose more friends. That said, I understand if you don’t want anything to do with this. It’s a lot more than you signed up for. Granted, I do expect your silence. I trust we’ve earned that.”

Olive studied his face before a faint flicker of a smile pulled across her lips and she pushed herself out of her chair. “I’m not leaving. Don’t think I could, even if I wanted to. And I definitely won’t be telling anyone what you just shared. I do think I need a little time to process this, though. It’s a lot.”

“That’s understandable,” Arwin said. “I’ve told you everything, but you can ask me anything you want.”

“Me too,” Lillia said. “I know I’m a demon, but the guild’s lies made us and humans seem far more different than we actually are. I lost just as many friends as Arwin did.”

“It’s difficult to accept, but I believe you,” Olive said. Her lips turned down. “And I wish I didn’t. I’ve always thought of myself as fighting for a good reason. Killing to protect. Am I just a murderer?”

“Not every monster is intelligent. You would have known if you killed something that was more than a mere monster,” Lillia said.

“That’s good to hear.” Olive blew out a breath and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks. I’m just going to go for a quick walk. I’ll be back soon once I’ve had a moment to really think through more of this, and I’ll probably have more questions.”

“We’ll be here,” Lillia said. She sent a sidelong glance at Arwin, then amended herself. “Well, I will. I’ll be in the kitchen. Arwin, I suspect, will probably be forging.”

“Probably,” Arwin said.

A small smile passed over Olive’s lips and she exhaled through her nose. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you were able to get a class that actually fit you instead of the one you were forced to take. I have to say it’s a little ironic that you’ve gone back to doing the exact thing you wanted to escape so badly from.”

“I haven’t,” Arwin said with a shake of his head. “Before, I fought for a cause. Now I fight for people.”

Olive nodded slowly. Then she pulled the tavern door open and stepped outside, closing it behind her.

“That went pretty well,” Rodrick said, breaking the silence before it could begin to take root once more. “You’re getting good at this.”

Arwin let out a snort. “I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.”

 “It is,” Anna said. “You can’t tell everyone, but the Menagerie is going to keep growing as time goes by. Some of the people that join us are probably going to end up getting close enough that we need to bring them into the loop as well. Practice never goes awry.”

“True enough,” Arwin allowed. He stretched his arms over his head and yawned, then shook himself off. Time was passing by, and he got the strong feeling that there were about to be a whole lot of people showing up at their street tomorrow after their clear of the dungeon. “I’m going to go make sure Lillia isn’t a liar. Need to get some suits of armor done — and maybe some gauntlets as well.”

“Don’t let us keep you,” Rodrick said. “I’m going to go wander around town and see what information I can pick up about how things are going after our little display. It’ll be good to hear if the Ardent guild actually managed to turn anyone against us or if their blacklist is pretty much just limited to them.”

“Sounds good to me,” Arwin said before turning to Lillia. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to hold off on getting the giant lizard monster from the Mesh for a bit longer. I need to focus on getting the stuff for tomorrow made, and dismantling a giant monster will take a while.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got more than enough Wyrm meat in the ice box,” Lillia said, jerking a thumb over her shoulder. “I’ll prepare that for tomorrow. It’s a good thing that I’ve only got three available rooms. If a bunch of people come, too many new ones staying overnight could end up doing a lot of damage to my satisfaction rating.”

“We’ll just kick out anyone that acts like a prick,” Arwin said. “Don’t worry.”

Something passed over Lillia’s face and her lips parted as if to say something, but she shook her head before it could emerge. “Sounds good. Don’t stay out too late.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Lillia raised a hand in farewell before heading into the kitchen to get her work started. Arwin scooped up the metal bars and headed out toward his smithy. Rodrick followed him, turning down the street to head toward the center of town.

There was a lot of work to get done before the next day arrived.

***

“I will rip your flesh apart like stripping the skin from a stalk of corn, then—”

“No,” Reya said, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “That’s definitely not going to do it.”

  “I was not finished.” Madiv frowned at her. “How can you know my strategy was ineffective if I could not complete it?”

“Let’s just call it an inkling, but just for the sake of it, sure. Finish.”

“After ripping you apart, I will give each of your body parts a burial worth more than the combined wealth of your remaining kin.”

“Okay, that’s a great insult, but how in the Nine Underlands did you expect it to help you sell anything?” Reya demanded. “I told you to give me a good pitch!”

They sat on the top of a building overlooking a shaded alleyway, where they’d been for the past ten minutes.

Arwin has to be playing a prank on me. There’s absolutely no way this idiot is a merchant. I’d say it’s a miracle he hasn’t pissed off someone important and gotten himself killed, but he seems to be in the process of doing that.

“That was a pitch,” Madiv said. A flicker of anger passed through his haughty features, mixed with more than a little frustration. “I do not understand what is wrong with it.”

“You’re serious?”

“I am always serious.”

“Then you’re an idiot,” Reya said. “Why would anyone buy from you after that?”

“Their fear of my power and appreciation for my magnanimousity.” Madiv squinted at Reya. “Are humans truly this stupid? It is clear.”

“It might have been clear to monsters or whatever, but there’s absolutely no way anyone will ever take you up with that approach. First off, you need to be respectful. Second, scrap the threat bullshit. Nobody will think you’re actually going to kill them if they don’t buy from you.”

“If I do that, then why would anyone purchase from me? They have no motivation.”

“Well two ways. Either you’ve got something they want or you convince them politely. It’s called being persuasive.”

“Was that not what I did? Was my tone too aggressive?”

“It wasn’t your tone. It was your words. Look. We’re going to act this out.” Reya pulled out a plain dagger and held it so Madiv could see it. “Pretend you’re a normal man that’s in the market for a dagger.”

Madiv nodded. “I want your dagger. Give it to me.”

Reya flashed him a welcoming smile. “I’d love to try and help you get something, sir. What kind of dagger are you looking for?”

“Yours.”

“I — okay. Pretend you’re looking for a dagger in general,” Reya said irritably, dropping her smile.

Madiv nodded his understanding. “I am searching for a dagger that may not be yours.”

Close enough.

“Well, I can assure you that you won’t get a better price anywhere else. At the Infernal Armory, we guarantee that you’ll be satisfied,” Reya said. She stepped closer to Madiv and spun the dagger around, a soft smile on her features as she held the weapon out to him. “Please, give it a try. See how it feels in your hand.”

Madiv frowned and took the dagger from her. Her eyes flicked to the coin pouch at his side and it took everything she had to suppress old instincts.

This is normally where I’d rob you blind. I might not be qualified for this job. I’m not a merchant. I’m a thief. Fortunately, I guess the two are kind of the same thing.

“This is a dagger,” Madiv allowed. He held it back to Reya, but she caught his hand and wrapped his fingers around it.

“Two gold.” Reya beamed. “Maybe you’d like to try it out on something first?”

Madiv blinked and nodded. “I — very well. That would be permissible.”

Reya released his hand and plucked the dagger from it, her fake smile falling away as she arched an eyebrow. “See? I’m not saying I’m a master at this, but no threats. Just… get them to talk to you.”

Not sure if that’s even possible with how stiff this dude is. He’s like a walking plank of wood with the personality of a stuffy nobleman.

“Fascinating,” Madiv said, his brow creasing in concentration. “You are seducing your target.”

Reya sighed. “No. I mean, I guess it’s not all that different. You want them to like you. The more someone likes you, the more likely they’ll be willing to buy something. But that’s probably a step farther than we should be going right now. Figure out how to talk to someone like a normal human. Then we can get more advanced.”

“I understand. I understand why you are in the Dem—” Madiv cut himself off and sent Reya a sharp look. She sighed.

“I know who Lillia is.”

Madiv blew out a relieved breath. “Good. I see now why you are in her retinue. You are a skilled temptress. I will endeavor to reach your heights.”

Did literally nothing I say actually pass into this stiff idiot’s head? At least he’s being respectful now.

“I — great. I’m sure you will,” Reya said.

“May I try again?”

“Go ahead,” Reya said. She tossed Madiv her dagger and he caught it from the air. “Sell me the dagger. Pretend we’re inside the Infernal Armory and you’re a merchant for it. That’s Arwin’s smithy, by the way.”

Madiv nodded. He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. His features stilled and his back straightened. For several seconds, the vampire didn’t budge.

Then he blurred. Reya flinched back as she lost track of Madiv for an instant. He arrived before her and dropped into a deep bow, fairing one hand out behind him.

“Forgive my intrusion, miss,” Madiv said, his voice sultry as he lifted his head just enough to look up at her. “May I offer you my services? A hand such as yours should be graced only by a weapon that pays homage to your great beauty as it spills the blood of those who stand beneath you.”

He rose, taking Reya’s hand before she could even fully process anything, and slipped the hilt of the dagger into it. Reya stumbled as she felt several brisk pushes in rapid succession. They somehow managed to adjust her position so that she found herself in a fighting stance with dagger held before her.

 Madiv stood before Reya once more as if he’d never moved. The corner of his mouth curled up in approval and he nodded thoughtfully. “You look marvelous, my lady. A perfect weapon for your stature if I have ever seen one. It will only look better when stained red.”

Godspit. That… well, I don’t swing that way and he’s still a bit too sleazy, but someone would definitely go for that if we polished it up. Even the threats almost felt in character. Like a creepy, hot, murderous butler.

“You know what?” Reya asked, tilting her head to the side. “You might not be a lost cause after all. Let’s give this another shot.”

Comments

Bunny Waffles

Oh. Right. He is a VAMPIRE. Of course all he needed was someone to get him to reframe the whole "convincing customers to buy stuff" routine from threatening them to seducing them.

BelligerentGnu

Oh good lord this is a riot. There's going to be a line of courting adventurers longer than the block, pining away for the vampire. :P

Xevra

This is some Ouran high school host club level sleaze if I have ever seen it, and I am here for it!

Phwoar

Madiv is giving "I sparkle in the sunlight" vibes at the end there. Thanks for the chapter boss

Axelios

Dang this is so good. The Olive chat was fine, but the Madiv chat was super fun. More please!