Fates Parallel Chapter 385 - Yoshika (Patreon)

Yoshika stared up at the empty sky. There was no sun or moon, no stars to light up the night, and no clouds—just an empty blue expanse. It hadn’t rained a single time since their first arrival, yet the distinctive rumble of thunder was unmistakable. Someone’s breakthrough had already begun.

Eui returned Iseul to Ja Yun’s care. It had been an interesting experience, sharing the elemental’s mind, but Yoshika didn’t want to involve her in whatever came next.

She swept her domain across the village, sensing her rivals nearby. Xiao Chong hadn’t moved—Yoshika would have noticed immediately if she did—but she had grown more agitated. The demon sat alone in one of the huts, meditating. It was an unexpected sight, but Xiao Chong was a former Qin cultivator.

It wasn’t the quiet, serene meditation Yoshika was accustomed to, however. While she didn’t display any outward signs, the intensity of her aura was nothing like that of a normal cultivator. Whatever she was focusing on, it was stoking the flames of her anger and working her up into a frenzy belied by her calm appearance.

Before Ruiling had mentioned it, Yoshika hadn’t even really considered the idea that Xiao Chong might ascend. Her power greatly exceeded that of a typical third stage cultivator at the cusp of their breakthrough, but it was so poorly refined that ascension was unthinkable.

She was refining it now, though, and Yoshika dreaded what sort of domain might develop from such a breakthrough.

Zheng Long, on the other hand, was struggling. The mana around him had grown violently turbulent, and his brows were twisted in concentration as he meditated. Judging from the pressure Yoshika felt from him, and the fact that Han Yu and the others were frantically trying to draw formations around him, his breakthrough to xiantian had already begun.

Ruiling was right. Yoshika had been a step behind the others all along.

“Zheng Long is already breaking through. Yue, Ja Yun, can I rely on you to draw me some support formations while I begin my own?”

The two of them rushed to comply, while Ruiling just gave her a shocked look.

“Just like that? Isn’t it too late?”

Jia shook her head.

“Zheng Long has his work cut out for him. His mind and spirit are ready for ascension, but that new technique he’s studying is a unified cultivation method, and he’ll need to reform his body cultivation.”

“What’s wrong with his body? And wait—how do you even know all that?”

“Sovereign Chou was a unified cultivator—most powerful divine cultivators are. If he left behind a technique, it would be a unified technique. As for Zheng Long, I know his limits because we learned body cultivation from the same place, and if he carried on those techniques on his own, then he’ll have hit a ceiling in the third stage.”

Ruiling frowned.

“From the way you’re talking, you’ve managed to fix that problem. What makes you think he hasn’t?”

Eui snorted and shook her head.

“Because he wouldn’t have even tried. He looks down on foreign techniques. Any problems or limitations, he’d just see them as inherent to the concept. He’s going to have to address them or he won’t survive his breakthrough.”

“That’s a good thing, though. One less rival for you to worry about—since you’re not willing to just get rid of them now.”

Yoshika sighed.

“It’s not just about willingness. I don’t think we can do that without fundamentally breaking a piece of ourselves. Not as long as they’re our allies—even if only nominally. And anyway, I don’t think Zheng Long will fail—he might not have appreciated her, but his body cultivation teacher was very good.”

“That’s a pretty huge weakness you just revealed. Are you sure you should be trusting me with that? Your friend is pretty suspicious of me.”

Jia shrugged.

“Everyone has their secrets—I’m not very good at keeping mine. If I thought yours made you a danger to me or my friends, I wouldn’t be willing to trust you. I like to think I’m a pretty good judge of character, though—and I don’t think I have to worry about you betraying me.”

“What about Xiao Chong? Your misjudgement of her killed one of the humans.”

Eui frowned and shook her head.

“No, she did. I regret what happened, but I don’t take responsibility for Xiao Chong’s decisions.”

“She’s a demon, though. You don’t blame the sun for rising.”

Jia grimaced.

“She’s—there’s still a piece of her left in there somewhere. I can feel it. She wasn’t entirely wrong about the two that came with her—they really were broken beyond repair, almost animalistic. She isn’t like them, though. Part of her is still holding on, I just...I don’t know how to reach it.”

Ja Yun emerged from a nearby hut, waving for attention.

“We’re done the preliminary work here! You can start any time and we’ll finish the rest around you. You’ll have to handle barriers and stuff yourself, of course, but I might have something that helps with that too.”

She produced a talisman from within her armor and handed it to Eui.

“This is Do Hye’s sealing formation. The one he used to contain your third stage tribulation. You won’t be able to cast it like this, but I’m ninety percent sure I’ve solved it.”

Iseul poked a tendril out from Ja Yun’s armor and jabbed her in the cheek. Ja Yun coughed awkwardly.

“We solved it. I think I can share the understanding with you, but I’m not as good at those mental snapshots as you, so it will be incomplete. Hopefully between that and this talisman, you can finish it yourself.”

Yoshika clutched the talisman to her chest and bowed.

“Thank you for all your help, Ja Yun. I know my request was unreasonable, but you’ve risen above and beyond even my grandest expectations. You’re a credit to all Goryeon mages.”

Ja Yun’s face turned bright red and she waved her hands urgently.

“N-no way! I just helped smooth over some of your misunderstandings! It was Iseul and Princess Seong that did all the real—”

Iseul smacked Ja Yun in the cheek with a tendril, stopping her rambling. She took a deep breath and returned the bow.

“Thank you, Yoshika. I’m glad to be able to return the favor after all you’ve done for me.”

—-

Jia and Eui sat face to face in the lotus position, hands joined and foreheads touching. It was Yoshika’s typical posture for intense meditation, but there was nothing typical about what she was about to do.

She’d been waiting for a long time, sitting on the cusp of her breakthrough and intentionally putting it off. Now that the moment had arrived, she was nervous. While the reason for delaying her breakthrough was supposedly the tomb, the truth was that she just didn’t think she was ready.

Yoshika had reached incredible heights, peered into truths that the heavens didn’t approve of, and found ways to twist the nature of existence in ways that many had told her was impossible. Yet cultivation wasn’t just the accumulation of power.

Many before her had thought so, and many had been brought low by their assumptions. Even among some of the monstrously powerful xiantian cultivators she’d met, she could tell that they had lost sight of their paths and reached a plateau.

She couldn’t let that happen to her.

The xiantian realm scared her. With the exception of mindless beasts that hadn’t yet awakened, even the weakest xiantian cultivator was like a force of nature. It took an unbelievable hubris for a human being to aspire to such heights.

Yet, that was cultivation in a nutshell. The audacious pursual of immortality in defiance of the heavens. That was the path Yoshika walked, and she was prepared to see it through.

But was she ready?

The heavens certainly seemed to think so, having teased her with the potential for tribulation. It was tempting to accept that judgment and simply unlock the memories that held whatever revelation had led to that near-miss, accepting whatever consequences came about.

That would be a mistake. No matter how urgent things were, no matter how close Zheng Long was to his own breakthrough—this was not something that could be rushed. Yoshika had to be certain. Once she ascended, her path would truly be set. To become a xiantian cultivator was a fundamental and irreversible change in nature.

As she was, Yoshika did not know what she would become after ascending. Unacceptable! Yoshika had to know who she was, and who she wanted to be. Until she answered those questions, she was no better than those who mindlessly pursued power for its own sake.

And so, she began with the question—who was Yoshika? The first answer came easily enough. She was Lee Jia and An Eui. Friends, lovers, partners in all things. Eternal companions. A satisfying answer, but an incomplete one.

Lee Jia—an orphan raised among gangs and criminals. She’d been abandoned as a baby, and never knew her parents. Others in her position might have grown up jaded and cynical—angry at the world and eager to lash out against it at every opportunity. Many of her peers did, which was why she’d never gotten along with them. It was only thanks to Lee Jung’s care that she’d turned out differently.

She always strived to see the good in people, to hope for a better future.

An Eui—born to a wealthy family and groomed to be a first-generation mage. A position that might have elevated her entire family above their station if she hadn’t lost everything. For love, she had killed a young noble and brought ruin to her and her family. In exile, she had turned to banditry and left a trail of innocent corpses in her wake.

She had lost all hope for herself, and for others. Even now, she still couldn’t forgive herself.

Yoshika couldn’t forget Li Meili, either. Though she’d only been part of them for a short time, her existence was no less integral to Yoshika’s identity—a physical manifestation of the union between Jia and Eui.

In some ways, Yoshika’s past defined her. She was haunted by her mistakes and their consequences. Lee Jia’s desire for a better future had led her to abandon her sisters, An Eui’s self-loathing had nearly caused her to fall to demonism, Yoshika’s arrogance and impatience had led her to create Li Meili—an avatar with a life of her own, and as Meili she’d nearly ruined the lives of those who’d tried to help her.

But each mistake had been a lesson. Some took longer than others to sink in, but she never stopped learning—never stopped striving to be better. Cultivation was more than becoming stronger, it was becoming better. To imagine a perfect version of oneself, and then realize that vision.

Yoshika didn’t know how to do that. How could she? She was only twenty years old, having cultivated for a mere quarter of that time. Most of her peers had grown up as cultivators—some even born with essence already flowing within their dantians. Even among geniuses like Seong Misun or Zheng Long, to ascend at such a young age was unheard of.

Nevertheless, she had to. For the sake of her friends and family, for her own future, and for the fate of their world.

Was that what it meant to be Yoshika? To push herself to impossible lengths for the sake of others? No.

She stopped to empty her mind and center herself. It felt like she was going in circles. She imagined herself in front of the frozen lake within her soulscape, the icy mirror that reflected a vision of her soul.

Yoshika had faced a similar problem during her first tribulation. She’d needed to define herself then, and she hadn’t forgotten that lesson. She gazed at her reflection, pondering its meaning. Jia’s ears, Eui’s tail, a face that was neither and both, mismatched eyes and hair—a ‘chimera’ the Qin cultivators had called her.

They weren’t wrong. Yoshika’s self-image was still shallow and poorly formed. Good enough to reach the peak of mortal potential, but insufficient if she was to rise beyond that potential.

Yet there was truth to that haphazard arrangement. She was confused, but that confusion was part of who she was. Do Hye had once warned her that their path would lead to a point where there was no longer a difference between Jia and Eui—there would be only Yoshika.

The idea had once terrified them. They had comforted themselves with the thought that it was a distant problem—something to address in the future. But that time had come, and then without her noticing...it had gone.

She couldn’t hide from it any longer—not in the face of her impending ascension. Yoshika was a single being with only one soul and one mind. Even her bodies weren’t really different. They were just...apart. Yoshika was more like Melati than she admitted.

It wasn’t like she thought it would be. Jia and Eui were still part of her. If she wanted to, she could think as Jia, or as Eui—or even as Li Meili. But there wasn’t a ‘merged’ or ‘separate’ Yoshika—there hadn’t been for a long time.

That admission didn’t make things any easier. If anything it only made her even more confused. She loved Eui, and she loved Jia. She couldn’t imagine loving anyone else—yet she also loved Pan Jiaying. Those weren’t the conflicting feelings of Jia, Eui, and Li Meili—they were all hers. And the deeper Yoshika delved, the more she realized that it didn’t stop there.

In her heart, she felt the echoes of Rika and Eunae’s love for each other, and for Yun. She felt Heian’s jealousy of Iseul, and Iseul’s frustration with Heian. Their love for their mothers, and their sisters, and each other. More and more, all piling up on each other until it was like the chaotic storm of emotion that she’d felt the first time Jia and Eui’s souls had touched.

She couldn’t be all of them! Jia, Eui, and Meili all shared a single soul, but the others still had their own. Yet part of them still persisted within her, and part of her within them.

Yoshika could feel them, if she reached out. Pieces of herself scattered throughout the world, more than mere bonds and connections.

She was almost relieved that she’d never shared such an intimate connection with Yue. As much as she loved her best friend, she wasn’t sure she was prepared to process a sudden attraction to men.

The thought wasn’t even finished before she realized that she was wrong. Yue’s loneliness, the distantly lingering grief over her brother’s death, and a complicated web of conflicting affections flooded Yoshika’s soul as acutely as if they were her own.

It wasn’t just her, either. Hyeong Daesung, Hayakawa Kaede, Sun Jaehwa, Pan Jiaying, Xin Wei, Guan Yi, her sisters, her parents, her friends and mentors from across the world. It was like a dam had broken as Yoshika was flooded with thoughts and feelings that she’d never known—that they’d never shared with her.

She couldn’t handle it all. Not as she was. Her domain had grown beyond her, and she was struggling to keep up.

It wasn’t fair! She wasn’t ready yet! Yoshika knew that she needed to become something greater, but she still needed time to figure out what that was!

The torrent didn’t let up. It became difficult to concentrate as the pressure on her soul continued to build. At the distant edges of her fraying mind, she tried to reach out for something. She had figured out what she needed to become already—perhaps not the exact form, but the shape of it at least.

She just needed to remember.

Yoshika felt a hand on hers and opened her eyes. She was still within her soulscape, on the frozen lake where she’d first confronted the white cat, the fragment of her spiritual ancestor—or one of them. It sat before her now, its eyes full of pride and contempt.

On its head, a little rat carried a comically small box, tied shut with a neat little purple bow. The cat leaned down, and the rat offered the box forward.

Heian reached out to accept it, and Yoshika realized that it was her hand that she felt. Her adopted spirit daughter turned her hand over and placed the box within, looking up to meet her eyes.

Heian’s piercing blue gaze spoke without words, but her meaning was lost in the swirling torrent of conflicting emotion. She reached forward and wrapped her arms around Yoshika’s neck, nuzzling their cheeks together.

“It’s time. I know you can do it Mommy. I love you.”

In an instant, Yoshika realized what was in the box. It was the memories she’d tucked away to prevent her ascension—a piece of her soul, recklessly severed and forgotten about. The very thing she’d used to threaten Shen Yu in an act of self-destructive rebellion.

Heian had stopped her then, and despite Yoshika’s uncertainty, Heian’s trust renewed her faith.

“Thank you, Heian. I love you too.”

Yoshika crushed the box in her hands, and her entire world shifted.