Fates Parallel Chapter 102 - Acceptance (Patreon)

Yoshika regarded the demon before her with a frown.

“There’s not very much Jia in you.”

“Tch, have you seen yourself? There’s not very much Eui in you.”

She hadn’t, but now that the demon mentioned it her voice did sound like Jia’s. She hadn’t even noticed that before, thanks to the dreamlike quality of her soulscape. She narrowed her eyes at the demon.

“Why do you look like Jianmo? The hair, the horn, and the eyes. Even your skin color is the same—I don’t think Eui’s normally that pale.”

The demon scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“It’s you who sees me that way—you tell me. Do you really have time to waste on this shit, though? You do realize we’re dying, right?”

Yoshika frowned, but the demon was right—while it was being represented by the standoff between two armies in her soulscape, she was currently experiencing two deviations at the same time. Both of her bodies were probably suffering severely from the resulting backlash.

“We are, but you can put a stop to it.”

“Sure I can. Just call off your cute little friends and let me eat you. I’ll do better than just survive—I’ll make sure we live a life free of pain and suffering.”

“Free of happiness, love, and compassion as well. You’d turn us into an unfeeling monster.”

The demon grinned at her, showing a row of sharp, bloody teeth.

“What’s wrong with that? Happiness is just the shadow of sadness, love only leads to heartbreak, and compassion is just a tool that your enemies use to manipulate you. They are weaknesses, and I don’t need them. I don’t need you.”

“If you say so, but I need you. If I destroyed you, we would become a hollow shell without any desires. We would just mindlessly do whatever was told of us until we died. If we fight, then no matter which side wins, Yoshika will die.”

The demon laughed in derision.

“Hahaha! Of course she will! That’s what I want! We need to die so that we can be reborn as something better! Unfettered by petty morals or the rules of so-called society! Do you have any idea what kind of potential we have? You saw it in Jianmo—you know he was more powerful than anyone else we’ve met. That could be us—the only thing standing in our way is you!”

Yoshika shook her head.

“I don’t think so. Jianmo was powerful—maybe even more than Qin Zhao or Do Hye, but he wasn’t a monster. He operated on a different set of rules, but he clearly still had them. He was grateful to us for releasing him, and he tried to repay that favor. The creature you would have us turn into would have devoured us without a second of hesitation.”

The demon spat to the side and scowled at her.

“That changes nothing! As long as you keep holding us back we’ll always be worthless. The only way to get stronger is to purge the things that make us weak, and right now, that means you!”

“That kind of thinking is exactly why you need me! You only know how to destroy! How would you build our cultivation like that?”

“I’ll kill those weaker than me and take what they’ve built for myself. The stronger I get, the more I can take until nothing can stop me.”

Yoshika heaved an exasperated sigh.

“That’s ridiculous! You’re nothing but raw desire without any thought behind it. Without fear or shame, without any compassion to balance out your desire, you would charge headlong into a path of self-destruction. Have you ever considered what happens the moment after you win this fight? Elder Qin swore to kill us personally if we succumbed to you, and he literally never lies.”

The demon frowned and averted her eyes.

“I—I could consume that freeloading spirit and escape with Steps of the Stalker. Maybe not all the way, but far enough to get to the mountain—and the greater Heian. Then I’d have all the essence I need to flee for good, and then come back when I am strong enough to handle Qin myself.”

“Even assuming all of that worked, and you weren’t caught by Qin or killed by the panther spirit, you’d still be stuck inside the shield formation.”

“With Six Arms of Asura—”

“Absolutely not. Again, this is why you need me! You’re pure pride, no humility to hold you back. You can’t even consider the idea that you’d just be too weak to survive. You’re talking about bringing down the magnum opus of one of the greatest mages ever with—what, a punch? At our level of strength?”

“I could—”

“How long do you think you’d survive trying to sneak around, preying on other students to build up your strength before one of the instructors caught and killed you?”

The demon snarled at Yoshika, clenching its fists angrily. For a moment it looked like it was going to strike, but instead she just turned away.

“Then we die. I’m tired of being denied. We don’t have much longer anyway.”

“I don’t have any intention of denying you.”

The demon paused, turning back to stare at Yoshika with a confused expression.

“Then what was all this about? Why all the struggle if you were planning to give up all along?”

“I didn’t say I was giving up. I want to reach those same heights—I want to realize our potential just as much as you do. I want to see us catch up to Jianmo and even surpass him! It might be a painful journey—we’ll suffer hardships along the way, but we’ll do it together, and become stronger for it!”

The demon narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

“Wait...how can you have that kind of ambition if I’m the representation of all our desires?”

Yoshika doubled over in laughter so hard that her eyes began to tear up. The demon took a step back, her face flushed with anger.

“What’s so funny!?”

Yoshika straightened, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Let me reverse that question on you—why are you embarrassed? Why did you even come out to talk to me in the first place instead of fighting to the death? Why aren’t you the mindless beast that you would have us become?”

The demon paused, then frowned.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Everything here is me—and you. The cat pretending to ignore this conversation, the rat on your shoulder, the corpses, the lightning phantoms, the snow on the ground, the stars in the sky, you, me. It’s all—us. You’re not a demon, that’s just the way we’ve visualized you. I’m not the ‘real’ Yoshika, either. This entire place is a representation of us, and I’m just a small part of it.”

Jia’s voice rang out from next to Yoshika, sounding exasperated.

“Finally! At last, the child shows a tiny speck of understanding.”

The white cat strode forward until it stood directly in front of the demon, who looked down at it nervously. Before she could say anything the rat on her shoulder leapt down and landed on the white cat’s head.

“Our mortal mind is young and fragile. We should show more patience.”

The rat spoke in Eui’s voice—clear this time, though it was matched by the entire swarm creating an eerie chorus. The cat turned its head up, forcing the rat to cling onto it.

“Hmph! Our bodies are fragile as well—haste seems more prudent at present.”

The demon looked between them and Yoshika with confusion written on her face.

“What the fuck is going on? I thought the rat was—”

“Yours? It is. Mine, too. We’re the same, Yoshika. Or did you forget that we are two people—even when joined together? You and I are the minds trying to rationalize the things that our spirits already understood from the beginning. You’re me, and I’m you. We’re both Yoshika.”

The demon—no, the other Yoshika shook her head.

“But that’s—that isn’t possible!”

“Why not? The soulscape is abstract but it’s us! Mind, body, and soul—it’s all here. This was never about a battle for superiority, Yoshika. There’s no winning or losing, and it’s not about you or me. It’s about both of us, together! Do you remember what I said to you? I love every part of you—good and bad.”

“That wasn’t you, that was—”

The other Yoshika paused, her brows furrowed. Yoshika shook her head and smiled.

“You’re not Eui, and I’m not Jia. We’re Yoshika. I never responded when you told me that—I was too embarrassed—but I love you too, Yoshika. Every part of you—good and bad.”

The other Yoshika wiped at her watering eyes, taking a step back as her voice trembled.

“You can’t—that’s not fair! You just had a whole conversation between us by yourself!”

Yoshika shrugged and stepped forward, extending her hand towards the other her.

“And you know I meant every word of it. I’m willing to accept you, Yoshika. I’m willing to struggle together with you on our way to the top, if you can accept me as well.”

The other Yoshika wavered, her eyes swimming as she considered Yoshika’s offer. She felt the conflicting emotions of hope and fear, and knew that it was a feeling that both of them shared. They were the same—they both wanted what was best for Yoshika, but they had conflicting ideas of what that meant.

The other Yoshika began to reach out, then hesitated.

“You—you really mean it. You would actually accept me, even after all this?”

Yoshika knew she didn’t need to answer—she’d already said everything she needed to. She just kept her hand outstretched. The other Yoshika looked her in the eyes, nodded once, and took her hand.

As the two aspects of Yoshika joined hands, Yoshika’s vision went white. The world slowly faded back into view, and she found that her soulscape had completely changed. The snowy fields had been replaced with lush, grassy hills—as if winter had skipped spring and gone straight into summer. The tiny outpost had transformed into a sprawling town that resembled the academy campus, populated by the figures from the two armies that had been standing off just moments ago.

Those figures had also changed. Instead of walking corpses and phantoms made from purple lightning, the figures appeared as perfectly normal looking, healthy people. They still had the appearance of all her friends, family, and allies, as well as all the people she had wronged throughout her lives. Put together, it had the appearance of a bustling town, but Yoshika could sense that the people were wandering aimlessly—simply going through the motions. Some—like Eunae, Rika, and Dae—were extremely clear and well defined, while others were faded or blurry.

There was no sign of the other Yoshika, but when she tried to think about it, she wasn’t sure which one she had been—both of them, she supposed. She had no idea what the changes to her soulscape represented, but she felt that whatever crisis she was in had passed.

The white cat padded over, still carrying the rat on its head. The rat cocked its head at her, and without thinking, she extended her hand, allowing it to scurry up her sleeve and sit on her shoulder. When it spoke, she heard the voice of every rat hiding in the grass, under rocks, and in the shadows of the buildings.

“You have accepted us at last.”

Yoshika frowned at the rat and sighed.

“You’re not about to start demanding that I consume souls again, are you?”

She felt a wave of irritation from the rat.

“Those impulses were yours. We are weak—fragmented. It is you that fills the gaps—you know this.”

Yoshika nodded. She hadn’t really understood it before today, but she was starting to put things together. Her spirit halves were fragments of what had once been some great spirit or another—one of her race's venerable ancestors, the same ones she occasionally swore on. Presumably all half-spirits had such fragments, passed on to their children as part of their soul.

Normally, those fragments were dormant, and did nothing aside from the physiological effects. She could only guess, but it seemed like her spiritual awakening had—well, awakened her spirit. Yoshika turned to look at the white cat, vaguely recalling a dream that she’d had shortly after awakening her qi..

“Were there...other fragments before? I had a dream where they were fighting over...something. I didn’t understand it back then—it was the same one I learned Steps of the Stalker from.”

The cat spirit’s golden orbs stared through her for a moment before it nodded slowly.

“Other fragments fought for these vessels—fought to complete themselves. They were too weak to realize that their task had already failed, so we took their strength for ourselves.”

“Task? What task?”

The cat just stared at her without answering.

“Tch, fine. You seem to have plenty of your own personality, why is it just Eui’s spirit half that gets all its feelings from me?”

The cat licked its paws and began grooming itself—or at least, it appeared to. Yoshika still couldn’t see any definition on it—just a pure white silhouette with golden eyes.

“You assume much, child. Though we have recovered more of our greater self than the rat, we are still an infinitesimal fraction of what we were. We are you, and what you perceive is a reflection of that. The shadow has more of its greater self than we do, and even it is a reflection of you.”

Yoshika frowned in confusion. This was too much for her right now.

“So now what?”

This time it was the rats that answered her.

“The battle is over. We should look outward once more. Our mortal mind is still better equipped to understand the outer self than the inner one.”

That was the most helpful thing her spirit halves had ever told her. With a thought, Yoshika’s domain extended outward once again, and her soulscape was replaced with the real world around her.

The first thing she noticed was herself—or rather, her bodies. Streaks of blood had run down from her eyes, noses, ears, and mouths—faded, as though it had been wiped away. She could feel the damage from her essence deviations now, lances of pain shooting through her entire body where the essence had traced its destructive path—she must have cut it pretty closely.

Internally, there was minor damage to most of her organs, which she immediately began healing with Tranquility. There didn’t seem to be any changes to Eui’s core, but it no longer had the strange, ominous feeling that it had given off before. In fact, the largest physical changes had occurred in Jia’s body, where a tiny purple sphere had formed next to her own heart. Her eyes hadn’t changed as dramatically as Eui’s, but close inspection would reveal a shifting pattern of purple lightning behind her vertically slit pupils.

“Oh, Elder Qin’s not going to like that...”

“You’re awake!”

Yoshika jumped, startled by Eunae’s sudden cry. She’d been so focused on her own condition that she’d forgotten to check her surroundings. Apparently she wasn’t the only one, as Takeda Rika fell from the opposite couch, apparently having been asleep.

“Mmn!? I’m up! I mean—they’re up?”

Yoshika had no idea how the tall girl had managed to fall asleep on the two-seat couch. She looked around to get her bearings and saw Eunae approaching with a concerned expression. Rika was still rubbing her head where she had hit it after falling off of the couch, but also regarding Yoshika with a worried look. There was a cloth and a bucket of water next to the couch which had been dyed a concerning shade of red.

Strangely, Yue was nowhere to be seen, even through her domain, Yoshika couldn’t sense any sign of her anywhere in the house.

“Uh, Eunae? What are you doing here? What happened? How long have we been—?”

She was cut off mid-sentence by Eunae tackling Jia with a hug, tears streaming down her face.

“We were so worried! You didn’t show up for practice, and then when we came to check on you Yue said you were doing closed door—and that made me think—”

“Eunae, slow down! How long have we been meditating?”

Eunae was too busy sniffling and sobbing to answer, so it was Rika who answered as she stood and stretched.

“Uh, I wasn’t specifically counting but about two weeks?”

“Two weeks!?”

Yoshika was so shocked that she forgot herself and shouted in chorus. Rika nodded nonchalantly.

“Mhm, blood flowing like a river the entire time. We thought you were gonna die just from the blood loss—it was Yue who saved the day on that one. Apparently Yan Hao and Han Yu know how to make blood restoration pills—no idea how she’s been convincing them to help, but she’s out getting another batch now.”

As if on cue, Yan Yue ran in through the front door, carelessly kicking off her sandals and sprinting into the living room, huffing for breath.

“I’ve got them! How are—oh, you’re awake!”

Yoshika waved uncertainly as Yue took a deep breath to compose herself. She strode forward, dropped the small package she had been clutching onto the tea table, then put her hands on her hips and leaned down into Yoshika’s personal space, frowning.

“Idiots! You can’t just go into closed door training like that so haphazardly! Especially if you know it’s something that’s likely to cause backlash! You could have died! You would have if not for me—and the others. You need to make preparations—arrange for trusted assistants to administer treatment against backlash or wake you from your meditation!”

Yoshika blushed and tried to lean back away from Yue, but Eui’s back was to the couch and Jia was still tangled in Eunae’s embrace.

“We didn’t think—”

“Of course you didn’t! You just charge headfirst into everything without a second thought for the consequences. It’s no wonder you’ve advanced so quickly and developed strange new techniques and methods. Let this be a lesson to you! That way lies ruin! If you continue as you have been, you will die from your own stupidity long before your enemies get to you!”

Yoshika didn’t know what to say. It was upsetting to be lectured so harshly—especially by Yue—but she was right, and Yoshika didn’t really have any defense. She didn’t know what would happen, but she did know that there would be backlash. She hung her heads miserably as she mumbled her apology.

“S-sorry. You’re right.”

Yue stood up straight again and backed off with a sigh, picking up the package and tossing it at Yoshika.

“Good. Now take those—one for each body. You’re going to need them in order to be at your best.”

Yoshika unwrapped the package to find a small case holding six small red pills, she took one with each of her bodies and immediately felt her bodies heat up as they flushed from the sudden increase in circulation.

“Um, at our best for what?”

Yue frowned at them and shook her head.

“Did you think your master wouldn’t realize what his disciples were doing? You’re going to have a lot of explaining to do.”