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Illumi Zoldyck - A Twisted Love (Hunter x Hunter)

Apart from Chrollo Lucilfer, Illumi Zoldyck is arguably the Hunter x Hunter character whose substance is most prominently emphasized in the subtle details and the mystery. Enigmatic as ever, the outward way in which his characterization manifests tells a very accurate story, but one that is only a part of a whole, because there is so much more to him than that.

The ideal way to sum Illumi up is by simply stating that he is the ideal and nearly perfect Zoldyck assassin.. which, given context, is one of the saddest things you could say about a Hunter x Hunter character. But while we’ll get into that in a little bit, his emotional impact is almost exclusively presented through how he affects Killua and how that relates to his role in the family.

Illumi can be cold, detached and aloof quite often, but this is in direct contrast to the type of guy he is under a layer or two. Put simply, he is an extremely passionate person. He absolutely cares for his family, apart from Alluka, and is extremely invested in the success of their assassin business. He’s ruthless, pragmatic, he doesn’t panic and carries out his jobs with minimal fuss - he’s a great assassin and he has a true dedication to his craft and his blood. He very much has a worker ant mentality in the sense that he is even willing to offer his own life if it overall benefits the Zoldycks. And despite how skewed his perspective is at times, he is a brilliant protector of that which he cares about. 

“If my death means that no other family member will die, then that’s acceptable.” (Ep 143 15-16 mins)

Yet this care that he has extends unhealthily towards his little brother, which could possibly be a hereditary or habitual thing he picked up from his mother. Everything gets radicalized when Killua is involved and Illumi’s calm nature goes completely out the window. He harbours a total and complete love for his brother, and this love manifests itself in obsessive and twisted ways that do to Killua what Illumi likely experienced himself as a child. Along with Silva, Illumi spent a lot of time during Killua’s early childhood trying to instill a darkness in him and convince him that he can only find happiness.. or at least fulfillment.. through bloodshed.

“You have no need for friends.”

Illumi’s main nen power involves manipulative needles, which he can use to alter appearance and control others, among other things. These needles obviously have practical use in combat, but another significant function for them is using them to quote unquote protect Killua. Illumi plants a needle in Killua as a psychological defense mechanism that will force him to run whenever he is facing a stronger opponent, and he disguises himself in order to keep an eye on his brother during the Hunter exam. His ideal end goal for this would be Killua coming home, realizing his assassin nature, and concluding that he does not need any friends or anyone other than his family.

I don’t at all think that Illumi has intentions to harm his brother.. at least prior to the election arc. He’s just incredibly blind because he himself has been conditioned to believe the words that he uses to try to manipulate him. He just thinks that Killua is misguided. He is lying through his pseudo-hypnosis, but he doesn’t even know it and believes his own words. He legitimately does want the best for Killua; but the problem is that his ideas for whats best for Killua are warped and totally out of line with how Killua actually thinks. As such, he goes about everything the wrong way in trying to help him, and if you combine this with his total love and his complete investment in his future, it leads to downright antagonism to Killua’s heartfelt desires. This nature of twisted love and misinterpreted motivations is very similar to the character of Shaiapouf, and just like the Royal Guard, Illumi has a blind spot for reasons largely out of his control. He cannot comprehend a life outside of what he knows and he refuses to believe that such a life could be valuable.

Due to the ideologies instilled in the Zoldyck family, Illumi cannot understand and dismisses Killua’s desire to become close with Gon, believing, in his one-sided viewpoint, that it is detrimental to Killua’s development. What he doesn’t realize is that it is absolutely beneficial to Killua’s development, but this development is just opposite to what the Zoldycks want for him. Killua’s desire for freedom doesn’t compute, because choice is a foreign concept in the Zoldyck household. Illumi’s reaction to Hisoka’s perverse suggestion about Killua says more than words ever could of his care for his brother, but he pushes him away more than his mother and forms an even stronger antithesis to killua’s ideal self than his father. The reason for this is that Illumi is an example of the quintessential successful zoldyck, as I said earlier, being a model assassin and carrying out the most lavish of jobs dutifully. And the way Illumi has turned out and the things he values prove more than ever to Killua that he doesn’t want to live like this. He cares not for a false obligation to a family that caged him and made his life hell. He doesn’t want to keep murdering people.

In times of personal struggle for Killua, where he tried to overcome the habits of his upbringing, he would repeatedly say things like “I don’t want to be like Illumi.” And while these are huge moments in Killua’s character arc, they also add a tiny bit of a tragic element to Illumi. The irony of his character is that all he wants is to love and protect Killua and help serve the family, but he’s so obsessive, narrow-minded and extreme that his methods actually have the opposite effect. He just doesn’t trust that Killua knows what is best for himself when in all reality that trust and freedom is exactly what Killua needs. 

Additionally, Illumi also has another side to his character, one that seems segregated from this twisted love but actually may not be - a powerhungry, ambitious side that greatly lusts to possess Alluka’s power.

“Tsubone reflects that Illumi’s ambition for Alluka’s power may even overpower his sense of duty as an assassin.“ 

And due to Killua’s special privelege regarding Alluka and Nanika’s power, Illumi wants to control his brother even more to harness it. Illumi is largely paradoxical - he wishes for no infighting within the family, but is a cause of a lot of it. He wants Killua to return home, but everything he does pushes him further away. He loves Killua and displays this love by doing the things his brother hates. 

But aside from that, this element of his yearning for power leads into a very interesting question. Why specifically is Killua chosen to be the heir of the family business and not Illumi? He’s the oldest, he’s extremely talented and arguably most importantly, he would be willing to do it unlike his younger brother. There is a pattern that the white haired Zoldyck of each generation tends to be the heir, but that is all of the information we have and it seems like a strange guide to follow for the Zoldycks, especially given that Killua’s personality is not suited for it. There is undoubtedly more to it than that, and the Zoldycks must sense a huge gap in potential between the two, but overall this is an ambiguous plot point full of mystery. And the fact that Illumi was ultimately not considered for the position could be hinting a little at why he does the things he does. Maybe, intermingled with his attachment to Killua, is a little bit of jealousy due to hurt pride and unfulfilled desires. Maybe he views his brother as extremely lucky and maybe he believes he should be honoured to be given the chance to do what he could not. Could there be a little bit of hot rage in there, some genuine anger conflated with his love, due to him not wanting Killua to screw up or destroy something he cares about? Does he consider him ungrateful? Does he desire that power and status? Regardless, what IS true is that Illumi wants him to be the best assassin possible, and he goes about this in a very personal way, so I would be extremely surprised if there wasn’t some element of vicariousness here.

“”

It is not entirely clear why Illumi has grown to become this radically twisted and obsessive. Togashi has left the explicit details of his upbringing that would lend insight into this minimal and vague. But given his tendency to emphasize nurture and environment, and given the clearly dysfunctional nature of the Zoldyck family dynamics, I’m sure that Illumi wouldn’t have become this way if he grew up as a normal boy. Would he have been so power hungry if he had not been bereft of choice for his entire life? And more importantly.. would he have been this obsessive if he were treated with care and empathy as a kid?

It’s very much established that he loves his family due to the aforementioned reasons, but in return.. what have they provided him with in terms of nurturing and affection? A grandfather disinterested in the concept of love, a father that manipulates his children and treats them as foot soldiers fated to carry out his will, a mother who, while definitely capable of affection, is far too excessive and crazed to be considered the healthy source of comfort that all mothers should be for their children. All in all - a family who are incapable of and disinterested in providing their children with what children require psychologically and emotionally. It is no wonder at all that Illumi is so twisted. What’s more curious is that his other siblings aren’t more messed up than they are.

The Zoldycks are not a true family, but a business: a self-perpetuating cycle of apathy, a production line of children who are disturbed or left wanting in some way or another. Killua’s journey has offered us a glimpse into the way that a Zoldyck child is brought up, but part of what makes Killua special was his nature; his conviction and desire to forge a better life for himself. What if Illumi was just never imbued with that type of resilience? What if he would have run away if he could have in order to find proper human connection and identity, but he just never had the courage? And now, being a fully-grown adult with a set psychology, he is way too far gone to even entertain any of these ideas. This is all his life has ever been, it’s all that he knows.

Maybe he focuses Killua so much because he is thoroughly starved of human affection and control due to the sad nature of his life and, consciously or otherwise, finds no other way to fill this hole in his soul other than overcompensating with a twisted, pathological brotherly love? This is just my personal way of musing on the subject, but it would make sense and it is consistent with Togashi’s ever-present focus on perspective, environmentalism, and a lack of moralizing. This obviously is not, in any sense, a justification and excuse for Illumi’s actions, but it provides depth, richness, and an element of tragedy to the character and the series as a whole. Illumi’s story could go any number of ways from where it is now, but what is clear is that, due to reasons completely out of his control, he will probably never find the normalcy and empathy in the world that he may have desired. Maybe he is just twisted because it is in his nature and maybe he would have grown up the same way regardless - it is an unlikely possibility, after all - but the point is that we have no way of knowing, because he was never in control of his destiny and because he was starved of the freedom to find out for himself from the day he was born. Many thanks for watching.

“Killua will suffer for the rest of his life. I will live in his heart forever.”