The most common question I get... (Patreon)

...is along the lines of "why don't you have more subscribers?"

It's a seemingly simple question, but actually ends up being fairly complex, at least from my perspective. It's no doubt bittersweet, but in some ways a little comforting.

Of course, it's  almost always meant as a compliment, and I find it flattering. Creating online content feels kind of like I'm working in a void. I do my thing on my own, then release it to the world. The process of creating videos isn't public, just the final result, so there's often some worry about what the reception will be like. So it's reassuring when I see a positive reaction to my work as a whole and not just an individual video -- it means that I'm at least on the right track.

The bitter part is that it's a cold reminder of how much the whole thing is out of my control. I've seen channels that have been around for less time grow at a much faster rate than mine. Sometimes it makes sense -- they're truly exceptional, or they upload daily, etc. -- but often it doesn't. It just comes down to the fickle nature of the Internet, or the nebulous nature of YouTube's search algorithm, or another of a million factors.

This may seem like I'm complaining about my subscriber count. I most certainly am not. I'm thankful for every single viewer, because I could be doing much worse than I am now. In fact, the steady growth I've been seeing is reassuring, and I wouldn't want to see some massive spike in popularity.

The thing is, some days this is a bit overwhelming. I'm still figuring things out as I go, and sometimes growth pushes you into an uneasy or vunlerable position until you can get your bearings. I got butterflies when I saw my NES Classic podcast episode take off on launch day. That wasn't even the episode I wanted to make (that's a story I'll tell another time), yet suddenly it had more views than anything else I had ever uploaded. And then it happened again with the Vita podcast, which brought with it an unfortunate number of nasty comments and trolling.

So for me, not having "more" subscribers, at least not yet, can be a good thing. I seriously believe I have some of the best viewers on YouTube. I'd much rather have a "small" channel full of people who actually care, than a "big" one with people who don't.

As always, thank you for being awesome.