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Me and Melissa sat down on the sofa together, with the pizza on the coffee table between us. She had a can of cola, I had a bottle of water to drink. I helped myself to a slice and asked, "What do you want to watch? Is there anything on TV tonight?"


Melissa grabbed a slice of pizza as well, but shook her head "No TV yet. I want to talk first."


I couldn't respond right away, I already had a mouthful of food. After I swallowed I asked, "What do you want to talk about? Is something wrong?"


My tall blonde girlfriend gave me a look and replied "I want to know what's up with you Mara. The last couple days you've been acting quiet. Not exactly depressed but you haven't been your usual self. If something's bothering you, I want to know what it is. Maybe I can help with it?"


Rather than answer right away I took another bite of my pizza, and made a point of chewing slowly so I had more time to think.


It was Monday evening and Susan was out working, so it was just me and Melissa here tonight. I hadn't realized I was acting differently, but I knew why. Saturday night Lily confirmed what I'd already guessed, that she named me after her demon daughter. Then went on to tell me that my soul was so similar to her daughter that Lily saw the resemblance from the instant she saw me last summer after I died.


Melissa waited a few moments, then asked "Mara? Will you tell me what's bothering you?"


I had a sip of water and replied quietly, "Remember back on new years, when I asked you and Susan about Naples and the year seventy-nine? The thing with the volcano, because a demon died there?"


She nodded, "Yeah. Is there another demon threatening you and Lily?"


"No," I shook my head. "It's nothing like that. It's about that demon from way back then. She was..."


I hesitated, but Lily already told me I could discuss this with my girlfriends if I wanted to.


"She was Lily's daughter. Sort of. Lily says it's not exactly like that, demons don't have kids the way humans do, but the idea's the same? She had a daughter, and someone killed her almost two thousand years ago."


"Oh," Melissa sighed. "That's really sad."


I nodded, "Yeah. Lily said she was young too. Like Lily's about eight thousand, and Verothilas was more than eight thousand? Lily said her daughter was only about one thousand six hundred years old. Lily said she lived in the Aegean, but she was probably travelling to Naples to visit Lily when someone killed her."


Melissa frowned thoughtfully as she munched quietly on her pizza for a little while.


Finally she said, "That's really sad, and I feel really bad for Lily. Is that what's got you so melancholy lately? You just found out about this a few days ago?"


"No," I shook my head. "I found out about her daughter back on new years. It's something else I sort of figured out since then, and Lily confirmed for me on Saturday. Then she told me some more stuff that's... I guess I don't really know how to think or feel about it?"


My beautiful blonde girlfriend was quiet as she ate a bit more. Then after another gulp of cola she asked, "So what is it Mara? What's got you so subdued?"


I shrugged slightly, "Lily named me after her daughter. Her daughter's name was Mara, I'm named after a demon."


Melissa frowned at me, "Wait Lily named you? I don't think you've ever told me that before?"


"Yeah," I blushed. "There's no way I'd come up with a name as cool as Mara. I'd have picked something stupid if it was up to me. But when she said it, I really liked it. Like I thought it sounded cool and it just felt really, I don't know? It felt really me."


She was still frowning at me as she stared for a few moments, then nodded slowly. "It does feel really you. I honestly can't imagine calling you anything else."


"And that's kind of nice I guess?" she added after a moment. "I mean, you and Lily are really close, it's sort of touching she named you after her kid. Is that why you've been so quiet the last few days?"


I sighed, "It's more. A lot more."


After a moment to brace myself, I told her the rest.


"She didn't just give me her daughter's name. When her daughter was in a human disguise, she looked like me. I mean, I look like her. When Lily gave me this body, she made me look like her daughter. Then she gave me her daughter's 'human' name."


Melissa frowned again, "Ok, now it's starting to get a little creepy."


"It's not creepy. Not like that anyways," I shook my head. "She told me last summer, she gave me this body because she said it fit my soul? Like you know how she can see souls and all that stuff right? She said this was my ideal shape and everything? And it's true, like right from the start it felt more 'me' than my guy body ever did."


"So which is it though?" Melissa asked. "Did she make you look like her daughter, or did she give you your ideal body? Like it can't be both."


"It is both," I stated. "Me and Lily talked a bunch on Saturday night, and she explained the whole thing. She said from the moment she first saw me, when I was standing there dead on the road, my soul reminded her of her daughter. Even when my ghost or whatever still looked like dead-me, I reminded her of her Mara. She knew I was meant to be a girl, and she knew what shape would be best for me because it was the shape her daughter used when she looked human."


I added, "And she said since then, everything about me reminds her of her Mara. My personality, the way I'm kind but reckless and get into trouble and stuff?"


After a gulp of water I sighed, "Lily didn't say this last part, but I think maybe I actually was her daughter in a past life? Like actual reincarnation, not magic powered isekai story type reincarnation."


Melissa stared at me in silence for a minute or so, then finally shook her head. "That's not possible. Is it? And even if it were, how's it... I mean that's so... I don't know? Like it would mean after almost two thousand years your soul came back to Earth and got born as a human, then eighteen years later you just happened to get your hands on the amulet your demon-mom was imprisoned in a thousand years after you died. And you got it just in time for your own death, so you could wake your demon-mom up so she could save you?"


She shook her head again, "It's so improbable, so many coincidences, it must be like a zillion-to-one odds or something."


I asked, "What if it was fate? Like what if it was meant to happen? Like 'random chance' but powered by fate. Like the universe or whatever saw demon-Mara's soul was reborn and brought Lily's amulet to me. Then fate had me flattened by the SUV so my death could wake Lily up, so we'd be reunited?"


Melissa sighed and put her plate down on the coffee table. Neither of us had really been focused on the food, we'd both only got about halfway through our first slices. 


She gave me a serious, troubled look and asked "Mara, what if it's all just Lily influencing you? It doesn't even have to be intentional or malicious. But what if she decided you reminded her of her daughter so that's the body she gave you, and the name. And since then, maybe she's just been subtly influencing you to be more like the child she lost? She's in your head, she's got like, direct access to your brain."


"I don't think she has," I replied. "And I trust Lily a hundred and ten percent."


Melissa shook her head, "I don't mean she'd be doing this on purpose, and she might not even know she's doing it. It could be something happening by accident even. Like, if she just has a subconscious desire for you to replace her missing child..."


I sighed and thought about it for a minute or two. Finally I shook my head, "Back at the end of October or beginning of November, I asked you if I'd changed. Like since I became Mara? And you said no. You said I'd always been like this, but being Mara let me be more like myself, let the real me shine through or whatever. So she's not changing me. I was always Mara, but some of that was suppressed or held back because of what I looked like outside, how I thought I had to act and stuff when I thought I was a guy."


That left a thoughtful look on my girlfriend's face. She drained the last of her soda then just stared at me as she continued thinking about all this stuff.


Eventually I finished eating my slice, then had some more water.


"What does Lily say about all this?" Melissa finally asked. "I mean, does she actually believe you're her daughter reincarnated as a human?"


I shook my head, "No. She said she doesn't know if demons even have souls. And she said if they do, she never heard of a demon being reincarnated as a human. She even said she doesn't know if humans reincarnate, or if souls go to an afterlife. All that stuff's just 'religious make-believe' to her."


After a sigh I added, "All she knows for sure is my soul 'reminded her' of her daughter. And she said after spending eight months together, she's even more certain of that. My soul and personality both remind her of her kid."


Melissa was quiet again for another minute or so, then stated "Ok. First off, you can never ever tell your mom about this. Between you dying and getting reincarnated, then the Verothilas thing, then the horns and tail, Emma's had a whole shit-storm of stuff going on with you and Lily. If she finds out Lily thinks you're her demon daughter, your mom might completely lose it or something. And she'll probably start to think Lily's trying to turn you into a demon, like one step at a time."


I sighed again, "Mom probably already thinks that. She kind of asked Lily about it at xmas, like what Lily's plans were for me?"


"And that's another thing," I added. "I really like being part demon. Even before the Verothilas thing, just having the horns and tail as a 'costume'? I really enjoyed them. Then it became permanent and I didn't care. It actually made me kind of happy? And now... Yeah I kind of do want more. Especially after flying with Lily on new years, I want to do that again. I want to fly. It was so fucking cool Melissa, you have no idea. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about it."


She went quiet again, and she got a slightly worried look on her face as she stared at me.


When she finally spoke up again she sounded as worried as she looked. "Mara I know that look in your eyes, and I know that tone in your voice. Please don't do anything stupid. Please think about the consequences and potential problems that could come up if you managed to make yourself into a demon?"


Before I could protest she continued, "First off what would you tell your mom? What would it do to Lily? Remember how much it freaked you out to get that intuition thing from people? What if you started getting more, what if you started reading people's minds? Two weeks ago you were complaining about the three of us coordinating our meals, if you were a demon what would you eat? You know what Lily eats, and it's not chicken nuggets or pizza. And we all know how much trouble you went through figuring out how to hide the tail and horns, if you did get wings how would you manage that? What would you do for clothes? You haven't been able to wear jeans since you got the tail, what kind of tops could you wear with wings? Even if the wings were invisible they'd be almost impossible to hide."


I sighed once more, "I don't know Melissa. Those are all really good points. And I'm not saying I want to be a full demon. I still like pizza and nugs, I don't want to never eat them again. I definitely don't want to read minds, the intuition thing was hard enough to get used to and it still trips me up sometimes. So I don't know. I'll try to keep all that stuff in mind though, I promise. I'll try not to act so mopey or whatever too. Sorry I got you worried."


She leaned over and gave me a hug, "It's ok Mara. Me and Susan worry about you though, same as you worry about us. Amber too, but she doesn't get to see you as much as we do."


"Thanks Melissa," I smiled as I hugged her back. 

Comments

Demon Llama

Couldn't Mara alter a pair of jeans to accommodate her tail and just hide it with magic the way she does for her horns?