aka Amy - Ch.24 - Self-Conscious (Amy) (Patreon)

"Oops," I grimaced as I stared at the staff that had miraculously appeared in my hand. 

The first thought to cross my mind was at least the thing wasn't too gaudy. Like it didn't end in a crystal ball or a dragon's head or anything ostentatious like that. 

On the other hand it definitely didn't look like something you'd pick up at the local outdoor sports store as a hiking stick.

It was about five and a half feet tall, at least an inch and a half in diameter, and there was a well-worn leather strap wrapped around the middle of the staff like a grip. The last few inches at either end were flattened into a six-sided shape, and ended in dull points. It sort of reminded me of quartz crystals, but carved in dark solid heavy wood. 

From there inwards towards the leather grip, the shaft was carved with an intricate detailed pattern. It was a sort of abstract design that reminded me of vines or roots interwoven and braided together. The whole thing looked old, like an heirloom or something. In some spots the wood appeared to be worn smooth by centuries of use.

Tess was staring at it too, she asked "Is that your character's staff from the game?"

"I guess so?" I replied. "What else would it be?"

She replied, "According to granny's journal, the Goddess was carrying a tall ornately-carved wooden staff when she appeared."

My eyes widened slightly and I asked, "Wait you mean maybe this is the goddess's staff?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Granny didn't describe it in detail. That's why I was asking you if it looked like the one you have in the game."

"I really can't say for sure." I shook my head, "My graphics card isn't good enough to give me this kind of detail? I know it's carved but I've never tried to zoom in and inspect it this closely."

We were both silent for another minute or so, then Tess suggested "Let's just keep going."

The hike was actually a lot easier now that I had my staff to help keep me stable. It was weird, I'd barely done any serious hiking like this before and I'd never actually used a hiking stick in my life, but I seemed to have a knack for how to use it. Like intuition or whatever, or maybe it was just that obvious and intuitive anyone would know what to do with it.

We stopped again after a couple minutes at a scenic spot where the sunlight shone down on the river, and we both dug our phones out to take some pictures. Tess also made sure to get a snap or two of me with my staff for some reason, before we started moving again.

Like she figured, it only took us about ten more minutes of navigating the really hard trail before we heard voices. We came around a bend and sure enough the trail we were following joined a much wider, flatter one. And we could see a handful of people further up along that path. To the right, the larger path followed the river. On the left there was a bridge across the river and the path went off out of sight in that direction.

She pulled the map out and had a look then gestured, "We want to go to the right."

This was more like the walk we did last week, the ground was unpaved but it was more or less flat and it was wide enough for three people to walk side by side. 

"Now I feel silly carrying this big hiking stick," I commented with a frown. "Should I just hang on to it? Or do you think I should try and send it back where it came from?"

She glanced around before responding, "Probably best to keep it. Someone might see if you were to magic it away now."

"Right," I nodded. Now that we were on the easier and well-travelled trail there were a lot more people around, and it was only getting busier the further we walked.

I felt myself growing more and more self-conscious though. I couldn't help notice the stares I was getting. At first I thought it was just because of the staff, but I soon realized it was also my hair and eyes. 

It was funny in a way, how quickly I'd forgotten there was anything unusual about my appearance. With my silver hair and purple eyes, and now that big carved staff in my hands I was literally a video-game character come to life. The only normal thing about me was my clothes.

For now I tried to ignore the stares and just focused on enjoying the walk with Tess.

We still had the river alongside us on the left, but like the trail it too had become a lot more tame. It was wider and slower, and a few minutes later we emerged from the woods into a huge well-maintained park, while the river spread out as well and became a large friendly pond.

There were hundreds of people around now, families enjoying the park, tourists, it was almost anticlimactic after the challenging hike through the woods alongside the ravine. On the other hand it was still kind of scenic, and there was a nice friendly atmosphere about the place, so Tess and I paused to take a few more pictures.

When we got moving again, the trail had become a paved path that meandered around the park before ending at the main entrance of the conservation area. 

I was still attracting a fair number of stares, which started me feeling self-conscious again. And I was really getting tired of carrying that big staff. It was great when we were actually hiking, now it was just an extra encumbrance that I had to hang on to.

In a manoeuvre that happened so smoothly you'd think I spent years perfecting it, I sort of flicked the leather grip in a way that made it suddenly unwrap from the body of the staff. Both ends were looped and stitched so it didn't actually come completely away from the wood, and as soon as it was loose I swung the staff over and around. It settled across my back with the strap running from my left shoulder down to my right hip, criss-crossed with my purse shoulder strap.

Neither Tess or I missed a step as we continued walking, but she glanced at me and asked "How the hell did you do that?"

"I have absolutely no idea," I replied. "I bet it looked pretty cool though."

"It did," she confirmed with a smile.

Our route took us all the way out to the main entrance of the conservation area, past a very full parking lot. We paused while Tess consulted her map, then she indicated to the right, "That way."

We were actually in a small village now, and just a few dozen meters after leaving the conservation area I spotted a little ice cream shop that was doing pretty good business on this hot sunny Saturday afternoon. 

"Ice cream!" I exclaimed, then I grabbed Tess's hand and started leading her towards the shop.

She laughed but didn't resist. A few minutes later we continued on our walk while we each enjoyed a small ice cream cone. The place had all kinds of amazing flavours so it was hard to choose, but Tess ended up with 'strawberry shortcake' while I picked 'chocolate fudge ripple'.

We were walking on the side of a country road again, but it was only about a half kilometre before we reached the car. The two of us stood in the shade under the trees as we finished our cones, then it took me a minute or two to figure out how to get a five-and-a-half-foot staff into the car.

After I got the staff stowed in the back Tess and I got inside and I started it up and got the AC going. It was nearly five-thirty and I knew it would take us almost an hour to get back to Tess's place. As I pulled out onto the road I asked, "We're just heading back to your place now, right?"

She nodded, "Unless you want to take care of dinner on the way? I'm still really curious about this surprise you had planned."

I grinned, "You'll find out soon enough."

As we headed for home the two of us talked about the hike, we both really enjoyed it despite being a lot more challenging than the one from last week.

The conversation shifted after a few minutes from the hike and the location to my accidental use of magic. Tess commented, "I know it was a mistake, but you took the appearance of that staff pretty well. I thought you'd be a bit more uptight about it."

I blushed, "I guess after a week of this, maybe I'm starting to get used to it? A little? Not that it doesn't still scare me though. But this wasn't actually changing anything, right?"

"Good point," she agreed. "That wasn't changing something. That was conjuring something out of nothing. I honestly don't know if that's more or less scary?"

I grimaced, but I wasn't sure what to say. I hadn't thought about it enough myself yet to know how I felt on the subject.

"You also seemed to really know what to do with it," Tess observed. "I mean, that thing you did when you slung it across your back, that was kind of amazing."

"I honestly have no idea how I did that," I said as I shook my head. "I'm not even sure what I did? I was just tired of carrying the thing and sort of gave it a twist and spin and suddenly it was on my back."

Tess frowned, "Was that a move from your game?"

I shook my head again, "No. In the game if I don't need my staff I can just put it in Inventory. But even if it was a game move it wouldn't have helped. The game's all mouse and keyboard stuff? Like there's key combinations to trigger different moves, but that doesn't translate into real life muscle memory. I mean, apart from knowing to hit the right key-combo."

"Huh." She had a thoughtful frown on her face, but didn't have anything else to say for now.

We drove in silence for a while, both of us lost in thought. Her comment that she thought I'd be more uptight about the staff stuck in my mind.

It was over a week now, this was day eight since the full moon. I'd basically been living with magic going on around me for a full week, and while I'd been extremely reluctant and afraid of it for the first few days, I'd become a lot less anxious lately. I got to the point where I even used it intentionally on my own a few times, to update various accounts and things online.

Accidentally summoning a staff out of nothing was a surprise, but at least it didn't affect anyone else. I still felt guilty about my mistake at my parents place last week, and I hadn't even told anyone about the part of that wish that prevented my family from saying my deadname. Compared to that, the staff was nothing.

Tess and I were both quiet as we pulled into her town. I caught the confused look on her face as I drove past her apartment, but she didn't ask yet. I drove us down the main street a little further, then turned into the parking lot of a grocery store.

"What are we doing here?" she asked, as I pulled into a spot and parked the car.

I looked at her and smiled, "I'm going to buy some groceries, then we'll go back to your place and have a proper home-cooked dinner."

"Um," Tess looked awkward and uneasy, "I don't actually do a lot of cooking, to be honest?"

"It's ok," I replied. "I'll do the cooking."

She remained uneasy, and she sounded like she was trying not to say anything too offensive as she asked "You can cook?"

"Yeah I can," I replied with a grin. "I'm no fancy chef, but I can handle a few basics. I know I said I mostly ate sandwiches and junk food at home, but that's because it's not as much fun cooking just for myself. And Mike never wanted to eat anything I made."

As I opened my door and got out of the car I said, "Now c'mon, lets go shopping!"