Succubi - Ch.17 - Accepted (Patreon)
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"He didn't get mad, he didn't exactly kick me out or anything like that," I sighed. "He got really embarrassed and quiet for a while, then the date was just sort of over."
Melissa had an arm around my shoulders as she asked, "Are you surprised? You know you shouldn't have pushed like that right?"
I sighed once more and leaned against her shoulder, "I know. I went too far, pushed too hard. I thought, we got through the demon reveal ok, maybe he could handle that too. I thought maybe I could help him hatch."
It was Saturday night and I was back home with my girlfriends. I sat on the sofa in between Susan and Melissa, and we ordered Chinese food but it hadn't arrived yet.
After messing things up with Ethan I had to take a bus home which involved some time out in the cold so my horns were sore and unhappy. It did occur to me I still knew that other spell, I could actually make them just go away completely so they wouldn't get cold like that. But I'd just be trading one kind of discomfort for another. And I'd rather have cold horns than no horns.
Susan was listening but she kept quiet for now. As a cis girl she really didn't have any insight or understanding of what all this stuff was like.
"You might have put some cracks in his shell," Melissa suggested. "Once he gets over the shock, it might be easier for him to hatch. But you know you can't really force that right? You might make him go deeper into denial instead."
I nodded slowly, "I know. I wasn't thinking and I messed up. Again."
Susan finally spoke up as she asked, "Has Lily said anything about him?"
"No," I replied quietly. "She won't tell me if he's trans or not. I'm sure she knows, but I guess it's a privacy thing. She won't discuss it until he tells me himself."
Melissa nodded, she agreed with Lily's decision and her reasoning.
The three of us were quiet for a bit, then Susan asked "So I guess what I'm wondering next is, assuming he's trans does that mean you're going to want Lily to help him? Does that mean he's going to be joining us?"
I shook my head "I really don't know Sue. I want to help him, he's nice and I want to be friends with him. If he's trans... I have no idea. I guess I'd wait and see how things went? I know you'd both have to meet him and get to know him and stuff."
"I get that," Melissa said. "I mean, I get both sides of that. Like if he's a trans girl, I'd love to see him get a miracle. Or at least get the option, have it offered? I also understand we can't do this for every trans girl we meet. At some point we have to draw the line."
Sue agreed, "I never thought I'd be in a relationship with two other people. I guess three could work, maybe even four. But beyond that I can't imagine it. I'd start to worry about feeling lost, or crowded."
I sighed again and reminded them both, "It's not up to us. Lily might listen to our input and ask our opinions, but we don't get a say in whether or not she signs contracts with anyone else. On the other hand, her taking on more people doesn't automatically mean we have to have them join our family. It just means I have to sleep with them once or twice a month. Assuming they have the same terms as you two."
We were all quiet for a few moments, then Melissa said "Ok we're getting way ahead of ourselves. We don't even know if Ethan's trans, it's much too early to talk about whether or not he'd be joining the DLP. There's a bunch of other things that would have to happen before that, and we have no way of knowing how any of them will turn out."
"Right," Susan smiled. "So let's maybe stop worrying about this for now? Let's just relax and enjoy a quiet Saturday night together."
"Ok," I smiled weakly.
When the food arrived Melissa took care of it, then me and Susan ate while we all watched one of Sue's favourite sci-fi shows and listened to her commentary. Melissa still wasn't hungry after being out the night before. Our Saturday evening finally ended with the three of us in bed, as my girlfriends did their best to distract me from any depressing or troubling thoughts. And they were really good at that.
Things were relatively quiet at college the following week. Except after messing things up with Ethan my confidence and mood were both down, which made it harder to ignore the negative stuff I picked up from my profs and classmates.
I did my best to push through it. At lunch on Tuesday me and Melissa saw Ethan with his friends. He seemed to be trying to ignore me, he didn't look at us and didn't acknowledge us. He looked stressed and unhappy though, which worried me.
Same with Wednesday, when I spotted him he looked really unhappy and anxious. I waved but either he didn't see me, or he saw but pretended not to.
That left me feeling even worse, like I screwed up so bad he wouldn't even acknowledge me any more.
By Friday I felt pretty miserable, but I was trying to let it go. I tried to convince myself ruining one friendship wasn't the end of the world, and I'd only really been friends with him for a week so it wasn't like I destroyed a life-long relationship or whatever.
When me and Melissa sat down in the cafeteria for lunch I spotted Ethan's friends, but there was no sign of him. That got me even more worried, like maybe he was sick, maybe he was dropping out, maybe by trying to help him I messed things up so bad his life was falling apart.
I was starting to imagine all the worst possible scenarios, when he showed up standing next to our table. He asked quietly, "May I join you for lunch?"
For a moment I was too startled to respond. I was happy he was talking to me, but he still looked really anxious.
"Sure," my girlfriend told him with a smile. "Have a seat. My name's Melissa by the way. And if you want some privacy to talk with Mara just say so, I'll grab another table. I don't mind."
Ethan settled into the chair next to mine and replied quietly, "Thanks Melissa. Nice to meet you."
He seemed torn about asking her to go, like he probably did want privacy but didn't want to seem rude.
She saw that of course. She smiled and picked up her tray, "It's ok Ethan. And Mara, I'll see you at drama class."
I watched as Melissa walked away, and a half minute later she sat down at a table where another girl was sitting by herself. I had no doubt she'd just picked her date for tonight.
My attention returned to Ethan and I asked, "How are you? I've been worried. And I'm sorry for messing things up on Saturday."
He shook his head and sighed, "It's ok Mara. I'm sorry I freaked out. And I'm sorry I've been avoiding you the last few days. There's just been a lot on my mind, you know?"
"I can imagine," I replied with a weak smile. "Are you ok though? Are you uh, figuring things out?"
He had a gulp of his root beer then nodded "Yeah. After you left I was basically up all night Saturday. I couldn't sleep, I had too much on my mind. What you said... None of it was really new. It's stuff I thought about before but wasn't ready to admit. I guess I was in denial maybe?"
There was a pause and his cheeks started to turn pink. When he started talking again he was so quiet I had to strain to hear him above the din of the cafeteria.
"Sunday morning when my sister got home, she saw I looked kind of messed up. She thought you and I had a fight and you dumped me or something? She was worried, and we started talking. And uh, I guess I came out to her. And to myself..."
My heart-rate sped up and I tried not to look too surprised or excited, but I slipped my arm around his waist and held him as I asked "Was it ok? What did she say?"
He gulped, "She was uh, surprised? But she took it ok. Then she got excited, she wanted to help. So uh, yeah she's being really supportive."
"I'm glad to hear that," I smiled. "How has it been since then?"
There was another sigh and another gulp, then he replied in that soft quiet voice "So I've been looking into things, making preparations and stuff. And uh, last night Tracey helped me talk with my parents. And that went ok too."
My heart-rate jumped again but it sounded like things were positive. And that explained why he looked so upset and anxious all week. I could imagine how scary that was, planning to come out to the parents.
He continued, "They were kind of like Tracey, shocked and freaked-out at first, but then they accepted things, they said they're both going to be there for me, whatever it takes."
I smiled and pulled him closer into a hug, "That's great! I'm so happy for you!"
Then I whispered, "Do you want me to start using different pronouns? Is there another name you'd like me to use?"
He hesitated, and he was blushing. After a few seconds he nodded "Yeah. There's a name I really like, I've had it in mind for years. My new name is going to be Amber."
"That's a beautiful name Amber," I replied. "Would you like me to start using it? And can I use feminine pronouns for you?"
She was still blushing but smiling now too as she nodded, "Yes please. I'm uh, it's all still really new and kind of scary? But my sister's been using my new name and stuff for a few days and it really feels good. My parents started today too."
"Thank you Amber," I gave her a gentle squeeze then leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I'm so excited and happy for you!"
Her cheeks got even brighter when I kissed her, and her eyes were wide for a few seconds.
Once she'd calmed down again she asked "So um, I've been doing a lot of research and stuff, and I was wondering? Since you've been through it all yourself recently, maybe you could give me some advice? Help me figure out what to do, and how to do it? Like I know there's legal stuff for changing my name, and getting my records updated. And I'll have to notify the college and update things with them. And I've been looking at how to get started with medical stuff..."
I took a deep breath and nodded, "Ok yeah. Wow. Um, we definitely need to talk, but not here. Um...maybe tomorrow? It would be easier if you could come to my place and meet my girlfriends, and we can discuss all this stuff there, in private?"
"In private...with your girlfriends?" she asked uneasily. "You want to tell them about me?"
I grimaced, "Sorry Amber I didn't mean it like that! I just meant, we can talk in private at my place, and also you can meet them."
"Oh... Ok," she responded softly.
We both finally started eating, though neither of us seemed to have much of an appetite. I was too excited and happy for her and relieved that we were still friends, and I was sure she was too anxious and maybe too excited to eat much.
At one point I noticed her looking over at her friends, and I asked "Do they know yet? Your friends, I mean."
Amber blushed and shook her head "No. They're not... Matt's my friend. Rahul and Jim are his friends. They just tolerate me because Matt stands up for me."
That made sense. I thought for a few moments then asked, "Do you want to tell Matt? Just him, not the other two. I can be here with you if you want the moral support. Or if you're worried he might take it badly."
Her eyes widened and she looked more anxious as she thought it over.
In the end she shook her head, "No. Not yet anyways. I guess he'll have to know sooner or later. I mean, at some point I'll have to get my records changed and just start going by my new name with everyone..."
"Yeah," I nodded. "It's a lot, but you've already got past the biggest steps. Coming out to yourself is huge. And your family. You're doing great Amber! Seriously."
She blushed and smiled again as she replied softly, "Thanks Mara."