ADWF - bonus - Edified (Patreon)

*** Content warning: brief mention of slavery ***

=::= Kaitlyn PoV =::=

I placed my phone on my bedside table then lay back in bed with a quiet sigh. My stomach felt cold and heavy as I stared at the ceiling and wondered yet again what I should do.

Intellectually, I knew what the correct choice was. I should simply refuse, even though that would mean breaking a promise. My heart was telling me the opposite though. Give in, go along with it, give her what she wanted. 

I'd already tried to talk her out of it, to convince her it was wrong. She wasn't listening though. Not when we talked in person this afternoon, and not through texts just now.

I felt like I needed some guidance. I needed to talk to Maddie, to get her input. Or just to get it off my chest. But that would mean betraying a trust.

Those were the only options I could see. Do what she wanted despite knowing it was wrong, refuse and break a promise, or seek guidance and betray her trust.

I lay there staring at the ceiling for another ten minutes or so as I agonized over what to do, how to resolve the situation. Eventually I came to a conclusion. I needed guidance, and would accept the consequences for betraying her trust. 

It was half past ten, Maddie might still be awake. I slipped out of bed and straightened my nightgown, then moved to my door and peeked out around the corner.

Maddie's bedroom door was closed, but I could see light shining through underneath.

I moved quietly, my bare feet padded softly on the old hardwood floors. When I got to her door I listened a few moments, but I couldn't hear any movement. Still, the light was on so I figured she must be awake. I gently knocked, then waited.

After a moment I heard movement, then footsteps. The door opened and she looked down at me. I'm sure she saw the stress in my expression.

"Katie what's wrong?" The concern was evident in her voice, one look at me and she was worried. She motioned me in, "Come on in so we can talk."

She closed the door behind me after I came in, then picked up the romance novel she'd been reading and set it on her bedside table. Finally she motioned for me to sit next to her on the bed. I wound up sitting crosslegged, my hands together in my lap. I was fidgety though, I was so uptight it was difficult to sit still. She sat next to me, but turned slightly to face me. 

After a deep breath I started, "Maddie I'm in a difficult situation and I don't know what to do. It feels like there's no good option, whatever I do will disappoint someone. I know in my mind what I should do. But my heart disagrees."

She was still looking worried as she listened, and she watched as my fingers played with the hem of my nightie while I talked.

After a few quiet moments she asked, "I assume this has something to do with Claire?"

"Yes," I nodded. Of course anything to do with my heart would involve Claire. Some small part of me felt embarrassed that I'd become so emotional the past few years, and that I'd become so enamoured with my friend.

Maddie was quiet for another couple seconds, then asked "Can you tell me what it is that's bothering you?"

I took another deep breath, then sighed. "She's been asking me to use magic, to do something I don't think I should do. I've tried to deflect and avoid the situation without flat-out refusing, but she figured out that I was being avoidant. Now she's asked me to teach her the spell so she can do it herself. And with the techniques we've developed for raising and storing power, she might just have the power to cast it."

That brought a frown to my step-sister's expression. "Katie if you don't want to do something, if you're not comfortable doing it, there's nothing wrong with telling her that. Magic or otherwise if you're uncomfortable you shouldn't be pressured into it. I know you and Claire are very close, and I know it can be difficult to say no to a friend. But she should understand and respect it if you explain to her that you're uncomfortable."

"Yeah," I nodded slowly. "And I did sort of try that, but like I said, now she's asking me to teach it to her, so she can do it herself. Since it makes me uncomfortable and I don't want to do it for her? But that's problematic too, because I'd be enabling her. It's almost the same as if I did it myself, except one step removed."

I added with a sigh, "And I don't know what's worse? If I do what she asked in the first place, then it's done and over with. I'd feel bad but it would be over. If I teach her how to do it, then she does it and it's the same result in the end? Except then she knows how to do it, and she could do it again and again. So that seems worse?"

Maddie was still frowning slightly as she asked, "I take it the thing she's asked you to do, that she's asking you to teach her, is something bad? Is it harmful?"

"Yes," I replied quietly. "I think so. It can certainly be used to do bad things."

"Can you tell me what it is she wants, what she's asking for?"

"She asked me to use mind-altering magic on her parents," I half-whispered. "To make them ok with her being gay. So she wouldn't have to hide our relationship anymore."

Before my sister could reply I added, "And I know we talked about that back when I didn't have the power to do it. I know you asked Lady Tegan if she would do it. But now that I have the power again... I don't want to do it. I know Lady Tegan will be disappointed in me if I did it. And I think I'd be disappointed in myself."

I continued, "In a few months it won't even matter, we'll be a couple hundred kilometers away at university. Her parents won't be a factor anymore. I don't understand why she wants this now, when September is just around the corner."

After another little sigh I finished, "If I teach her the spell though, she could use it on anyone. Her parents. People at school. People at university. And maybe it's not a terrible thing making her parents stop hating gay people, but it's a spell that's too easy to abuse."

Maddie was quiet for a little while after I finally stopped. She looked thoughtful though. Finally she asked, "Katie is it that important to you what Tegan thinks of you? You're that worried about disappointing her?"

I shrugged slightly and looked down at the bed. "I know she still thinks of me as a monster sometimes. And I know my granddaughters still think of me as a monster all the time. I don't want to be like that anymore. And using a spell like that to fix a problem that's going to go away on its own soon... It would just prove to all three of them that they're right, that I'm still a monster."

She sighed, "Have you asked Claire why she thinks it's important to do this now? Why she's not willing to wait till September when it won't be a problem?"

I nodded, "She says she doesn't want to have to hide our relationship all summer long. She says she hates that she has to keep that part of herself hidden, that she has to pretend its not real. And she said her mom's always trying to hook her up with boys, like her mom's friends' sons I guess? But it's only a couple more months."

Maddie pointed out, "Two or three months is a very short time to you Katie. You won't hear me say this often, but as much as you look and act like a seventeen-year-old girl, you've been around nearly six hundred years. And now that you're fae again, you may have six hundred more ahead of you. So a few months is nothing."

She continued, "To be honest it's not that long to me either. I'm nowhere near as old as you, and I've probably only got another fifty years ahead of me but one summer isn't a long time for me. For Claire though? She's only just turned eighteen. Two months can seem a lot longer."

I frowned as I thought that through. I hadn't really considered that humans would have a vastly different perception of time. In retrospect it made perfect sense. They had so much less of it, so every day would be that much more valuable to them.

After another little pause she added, "And this is just a guess, but I'll bet you're her first real relationship. This would be the first summer of her whole life she's had a girlfriend. I'm sure that's a factor. Claire wants to be able to enjoy herself with you, without looking over her shoulder or worrying that her parents might find out."

That thought was still playing out in my mind when Maddie asked, "I don't know what it's like for fae, but wasn't your first experience with love something special?"

My cheeks heated up in embarrassment as I admitted, "This is my first experience with love, Maddie. And yes, it does feel special. That's why I'm so scared of messing it up."

My big sister was quiet for a few moments, and when I glanced up at her I saw she looked a little confused, like she was trying to work through some puzzle in her mind.

After a little hesitation she asked, "Weren't you married? You have a daughter, grandchildren..."

I stared down at the bedding again. I felt nauseous and now my face was red with shame. I half-whispered my confession, "Kelsey's mother was a human slave that I chose to keep for my own entertainment. I accidentally got her pregnant, and on a whim decided to keep and raise the child."

I gulped and added, "I don't think Lady Keira or Lady Kelly know, but they might suspect. Kelsey knows."

Maddie was quiet again and I couldn't bring myself to look up at her. I was sure she'd be horrified, disgusted, and I was scared to see her looking at me like that.

Rather than respond to my confession, she changed the subject back to the matter at hand and asked "What's the worst that will happen, if Claire's parents find out she's gay?"

"They could kick her out of the house," I answered quietly. "And refuse to pay her tuition and expenses. She'll be homeless and won't be able to go to university."

I took a deep breath and added, "Maddie I have to tell you something else. I have money. Secret accounts, from before. I know you've worried a few times about money problems? But I'd never let that happen. I've been trying to figure out the best way to handle it, but I can easily pay my own tuition. Claire's too. I could even buy us a house in Halifax so we don't have to go into residence."

I sighed and continued, "I put off accessing it at first because I was afraid Lady Tegan would find out and take it away from me. And now I'm holding off because of the police scrutiny? They'd definitely question if I suddenly received a large overseas cash transfer. Except now that I'm fae again we don't really have to worry about the police."

Maddie was quiet again for a few seconds before she finally responded. 

"Katie I'm not going to ask about the money. I don't want to know how much you have or where you got it from. Here's what I'm going to suggest though, ok?"

"Talk to Claire again, tell her you're not comfortable using those spells, and you're not comfortable teaching her to use them either. Maybe its best she confronts her parents and gets it all out in the open. Tell Claire she's welcome to come and live here, we have the space. I can shuffle the bookings around slightly so she can have her own room all summer long. Leave the police situation for Tegan to deal with. It's her problem, not ours. I'll front the money to take care of Claire's tuition expenses for now, you and her go into residence like we already talked about. When the police problem is over, you can access your hidden money and pay me back, and you and Claire can get your own place or do whatever else you like."

"Does that sound reasonable?" she asked.

I gulped then slowly looked up at her. I nodded, "That sounds very reasonable. Thank you Maddie. I'll talk to Claire again tomorrow, and see what she says."

I hesitated, I was scared to ask but I had to know. "After I move out to university... Does that mean you don't want me to come back? Because of the stuff I just told you?"

Maddie sighed and pulled me into a hug. She practically pulled me onto her lap as she held me.

"Katie you're always welcome here," she whispered as she hugged me. "We're family now. The reason I don't want to know about your past isn't because I'm afraid it'll change my opinion of you. It's because I know you're not like that anymore. You're Kaitlyn, you're my little sister, and you'll always have a place here."

I hugged her back as my emotions swelled and my eyes started to fill up with tears. 

"Thanks Maddie."