Delivery Sneak Peek: Luce, The Very Bored Vampire (Patreon)

Lucien/Lucia is the final RO in Delivery For The Damned and is gender variable.

In many ways, Luce is your traditional vampire. They drink blood, wear black, and live in a Gothic castle with their pet gargoyle. That being said, your first impression of them may change once you realize that their wardrobe is primarily styled after 1980’s punk fashion and that their castle was constructed to Luce’s specifications in 1999. (Luce got caught up in the Y2K craze, and decided to go big and bold before world imploded . . . which it didn’t do until 2004. Point is, now they own a castle in downtown Clonakilty.)

Luce can’t tell you their own age. Really, who bothers keeping track after the first two centuries? Life becomes so endlessly tedious when one is immortal. Luce hasn’t been fully entertained since the 1980’s, a decade which they recall with undeserved nostalgia. Luce tries to stay excited about life, but vampirism makes it difficult to mix things up. Due to their accelerated healing, hair dye doesn’t stick and tattoos last only a week. (The reason so many vampires have flowing locks in literature is because most were too lazy for the required weekly haircuts.) The impermanence of body art, however, doesn’t stop Luce from frequenting the hair salon and tattoo parlor every Saturday for a completely new look.

What will happen when they run out of hair dye colors? Who knows.

Despite their constant ennui, Luce has no desire to stop living. After all, what if death is even more boring than life? Thus, they work as a professional assassin, a pragmatic career given that normal grocery stores don’t cater to their dietary needs. The only other job that pays people to eat is that of a food critic, and everyone knows how difficult that gig is to land.