The Distance Between Us by Vlikmit Kovsh (Patreon)

He was there, smiling. Happy to see me. A look in his eyes that I’d longed for most of my life.

“Hello Ari, It’s been a while...” he started. It always starts like that. With small talk and casual conversation, but I know what he really wants. I’d had that look of longing in my eyes for many years. It’s painful to pretend like I don’t see it.

He asks about the Company, how the 15th has been fairing out in the Disputed Lands. I keep things cordial, telling him about our victories and how we hadn't lost a Legionnaire in an engagement in over half a year. He is genuinely impressed.

He asks about his friends, London, Koryn, and Soven. Veteran legionnaires all, each with enough experience and skill to lead their own companies, but because of me, or rather their loyalty to him, they stayed in the 15th.

I tell him London is fine, though she clashes constantly with my second. Who could blame her. The Aslanian was nearly insufferable and London, a hot tempered bear, did not wish to suffer her entitlement. The jerboa was as he had always been; quiet and helpful. A mage of considerable skill. Koryn was invaluable counsel to me as the Commander of the 15th, and unlike the others, kept his personal opinions about my complicated situation with Adolyn to himself. The last of his friends, Soven, was a different story.

“Could you speak with her?” I asked. Adolyn looked sheepishly.

“I’ve asked her to stop advocating, but she is her own woman.” He shrugged.

“Perhaps you think she can sway me, where you cannot?” I know Adolyn doesn’t operate that way, but after enduring Soven’s constant prodding, I didn’t feel too bad teasing him. As always, Adolyn is easy to read once you know how. The mask he wears is complete, but it doesn’t extend to his aura and body language. If you know what you're looking for, you can read him. I’d wounded him a bit with my comment, and it hurt. But I couldn’t give in, not if I was to keep this under control.

“Soven is as she always is. Happy and helpful, but definitely clear about her loyalties.” I sighed. The Scout’s Captain was Adolyn’s ‘Sworn Sword’ and didn’t hide the fact that she did not like being away from her master’s side. She liked it even less that I was more or less trying to move on with my life and refused to explain why I had rejected Adolyn’s proposal. Everyone knows I am in love with him, and I do not deny it; but we cannot be together. Not now. But he has not stopped trying and I needed to stay vigilant. I just can’t let my own feelings cloud my judgement.

“It’s good to see you, anyway.” He said softly. Turning away, I leaned on the bannister overlooking the valley.

“I’m sorry, you know.” I sighed.

“I know...” he shrugged.

“You know I care about you, but I can’t marry you...” I pressed. He smiled sadly and shook his head.

“Can’t or won’t?” he asked. I sighed and closed my eyes.

“Does it matter?” He knew it didn’t. All that mattered was the result was the same.

“Then I’ll just enjoy your company... for as long as it lasts.” he finally said after a long silence. As if we could enjoy each other's company. I looked at him then, knowing the sadness he felt. Feeling it the same. How I longed to say yes. To run into his arms and just be his. It was my dream once. It was everything I ever wanted. But what are the wants and needs of a few mortal kin. There is more to the world than our love and longing. Though it hurts, I must concede to what fate demands.

Adolyn said nothing after that. He just stared at me as I looked on to the sky; wondering why the Goddess would hand us such pitiless fates. Instinctively I held a hand to my stomach, before thinking better of it. Those blue-grey eyes of his were ever observant, and I didn’t want to hint at anything that would complicate things further. Instead I just rested my weight on the bannister and groaned.

“We really need to stop meeting like this.” I complained. Adolyn said nothing and I just stared out into the distance. Fate was such a fickle bitch sometimes, but I wouldn’t let her get the best of me. Finally I mumbled.

“It’s always good to see you too, Addy.”