Kindred Spirits by BelayaLapa (Patreon)

“Step lively, child,” she called to me. I huffed and groaned as I trotted after her. I was not fond of walking through the forest.

“I’m not a kit my lady, I’m nearly seventeen” I reminded. The fresh-faced, white, rabbit looked back at me with her beautiful, violet eyes and laughed.

‘You’re all children to me. You more than most.” She giggled. I bit my tongue. I wanted to argue, but I knew she was right. Being a child had defined so much of my life till then. It had been my most dangerous weapon once. No one expected a little sow like me to be a highly trained killer. Those who might have were the type of scum who got excited by the sight of a naked adolescent girl. My body, such as it was, was more than enough to distract my targets. My time as a child assassin defined the first half of my life. My devotion to Lord Atreyu will be what determines the rest of it; I hope.

Still, I am not very happy at being reminded of the meaningless gulf of age between my master and me. Lady Sarissa is always quick to tell everyone that we are all children to her. I’d take offense, but I’m mature enough to know she’s right. Though she looks young and beautiful beyond measure, the ‘Ranger of Harimal’ is actually thought to be over three hundred years old.

They say she fought in the last days of the ‘Baptism of Fire,’ and that she knew Canton, ‘The Hero of Ages.’ I’ll admit that I’m not often impressed by such things, but anyone who has lived as long as Lady Sarissa has my respect.

There are a million ways to die. A million different, subtle, little ways that your life can be snuffed out. I should know, I’ve employed many of them, but to have been a woman of action for all that time is a feat worthy of respect. I cannot imagine how it would feel to be a Leverin rabbit like her. Having such a long lifespan at the cost of tragically rare ability to reproduce. It’s quite the trade-off.

I get. Don’t think that I don’t. In the deepest, darkest corner of my heart, where dreams fear being exposed by the light; I know the longing she must feel. I’ve allowed myself to wonder what it would be like to be a proper lady for my master. To walk at his side, instead of at his back. To love him and be loved by him as a woman should be. To bare his children and build a life, leaving behind all that I am in the eyes of a child who looks like the two of us. Would I suffer the pain of carrying a lion in my tiny womb? Would he be disappointed if the child was a marten like me? Would fate be so cruel as to gift us hybrid? A child so weak and fragile, a pitiful thing destined for a short life of pain and anguish. It’s rare, but it’s a possibility. One I would not hesitate to tempt if it meant I would have that dream.

Lord Atreyu is more than the lord I serve, more than Master of House Duran. He is the man who woke me up from a waking nightmare. Saved me from the dirty streets and filthy alleys of the lower quarter. He took in little girl who knew only darkness and depravity and made her a ward of his great house. He was the first to treat me like a person. The first to see me as more than just a tool or a weapon and I loved him for it. Not as he loved me. Not as a girl loves someone who took her in and practically raised her. No, I love my lord with all my heart as a woman loves a man; though he doesn’t see me that way. He is a lord and a grown man, I’m, as the lady so callously reminded me, still just a child to him.

Distracted by my private thoughts, I could only place one foot ahead of the other. I did not pay attention to the road we walked, I knew where the white rabbit was going. We were on a trek to Leveria, for what she did not say. Though it would be interesting to see the birthplace of the Leverin rabbits, I’d have much rather been with Lord Atreyu. I saw no benefit in seeing the sights of the great forest kingdom when I could be doing my duty, covering my lord’s back and being of use to my master; but this was his doing. He had left me in the company of the Lady and asked me to accompany her on her travels. I dare not question his reasons or motives; though it was implied that there was something he wished me to learn from the timeless coney. What, I had no idea.

I did not know Lady Sarissa very well. I knew of her, but we’d shared few words between us. Aside from the similarities in our names, I felt we had nothing in common. She was a beautiful timeless warrior who was a legend in herself. Nobles and colleagues had always shown her the utmost respect and consideration. She was talented and popular for her personable demeanor and considerable skills as a ranger. The few times I had spared a thought for her had been oft handed musings. I often wonder why one so capable refused greater responsibility at every turn.

Lady Sarissa was a bit of a mystery to me. She was without a doubt the most accomplished ranger in the Order. She was one who had achieved the rank of ‘Strider,’ the mightiest of their class. Strider was nearly impossible to attain by those with natural life spans. There was simply too much to their art to master in a hundred years. Striders were freightfully experienced in their craft and the subtle manipulations of nature they employed showed an understanding of the relationship between nature and the flow of man that many mages didn’t fully grasp.

Though other ranagers in the order were impressive, none seemed to be on the Lady’s level. Sir Faelor Ardyll was the Commander of the Knight Rangers and Leverin, same as Lady Sarissa. Despite being her superior officer, the difference in their powers was tremendous. Even the talented First Ranger, Sir Cassius Assyrius, who was the closest a non-Leverin could be to a Strider, was not Lady Sarissa’s grace. In any sane world her experience alone would make her Primus of the entire Order. It vexed me that the lady never complained about it. She never seemed to be unhappy about it, nor have I known her to pursue any advancement. She seems to enjoy doing her duties and often pretends to be just another Raven Knight, same as any other; but I know better.

Like the current Primus, there's a power within her. Something terrifying and dreadful hiding beneath the surface. I wonder if it is just a quality of people like them to smile and pretend. To act as if they are not frightening beings. Perhaps that is why she and Sir Adolyn get along so well. Maybe that is why they got along so well with my master. Lord Atreyu always acts with kindness and cheer, hiding how powerful he is to those weaker than he; but even his strength is dwarfed by monsters like them.

Suddenly I stumbled. The path had changed and I became vaguely aware that Lady Sarissa had halted her advance. I was so caught up in my preoccupation that I almost walked into her. It took me a moment to adjust myself and fall in behind her. I was a bit embarrassed to be seen as so clumsy, but I hoped it helped my guise. We did have that in common; neither of us wished others to know fully what we were capable of.

“Are you alright, little one?” she asked. I nodded and took a look around.

“Where are we, my lady?” I asked back, showing proper respect. Lady Sarissa smiled in response, and her pink nose wrinkled up cutely. I must admit, I was jealous of her. She had a way about her that made her look like a princess, or what I imagine princesses should look like. Unfortunately for me, I would be more jealous before long.

“It took a while, but these trees have regrown.” she began, running her hands down the trunk of a skinny tree.

“This is where the first ‘Battle of Harimal’ took place a very long time ago,” she said wistfully. My gaze gingerly traced about the area. Though I could see no signs of a great battle, the scars of dragon fire or the broken remains of long-dead warriors; I could feel something in the air. Great magic had been used there, both to destroy and to create. Those who survived the war must have come back to restore this place. The manipulation of mana was evident all around me. The flow of mana was particular strong their, drawing ‘pyreflies’ all around. The little creatures were attracted to places and people of power; and they seemed to dance wildly as we approached. It was a breathtaking visage, I’ll admit, but one that did not interest me. I wanted to ask why I was brought there, but Sarissa shocked me with a sudden revelation;

“I was born right over there. It was right before the first ‘Battle of Harimal’.” she started.

I was surprised by the revelation, but did not question it. Instead, I waited for her to continue. I figured there was more she wanted to say and I didn’t wish to seem rudely uninterested.

“I was born amidst the extermination of my people. I didn’t have the opportunity for a normal upbringing.” she continued.

“My earliest memory is my mother being overrun by kobolds. She’d been a powerful ranger, but there were far too many of them. Hundreds, literally hundreds. They were enhanced in some way. Magical, medicinally... I don’t know. She’d killed so many. There were piles of them everywhere, but they kept coming. Eventually, they exhausted her spirit well and then her stamina. After hours of combat, she could barely stand, they overwhelmed her and ripped her apart.”

She didn’t look sad at the recollection. Simply contemplative. She walked away and leaned down, her hand touching the ground.

“My father was buried here, next to her remains. He died fighting off dragon blades,” she whispered.

“He was a fine buck, or so I’m told.”

Lady Sarissa’s words were heavy, and I could feel their weight. That didn’t stop me from openly wondering why she was sharing them with me. This time, against my better judgment I asked. I couldn’t help but question what any of it had to do with me. She smiled a bitter smile and faced me, trying to be patient where I was not. The pyreflies danced around her, and I could feel the depths of her quintessence. The mana around us was reacting to her and the wealth of emotions she was trying to contain.

“You and I have much in common little one... more than you know.” she started. I seriously doubted that, but I wasn't ready to question her twice in quick succession. Instead, I perked my ears and dusted my cloak, leaning up against one of the trees. She’d get on with it I was sure. I was actually quite curious as to what she meant. Not many people know of my past and upbringing. No one knows much about me at all. My lord is very careful with what he shares with others regarding me. It is a protection of sorts. For which of us I cannot say. So when Sarissa remarked about my hidden past, I was surprised, to say the least.

“I killed my first kinling at the age of four. By seven I had several hundred under my belt. How many lives had you taken by that age?” she asked bluntly. My number was well over a hundred. I was morbidly proud of that fact, but Sarissa seemed to have me beat. I cocked an eyebrow, unable to contain my disbelief. I thought;

‘Several hundred seems like an exaggeration.’ Then again, look who I was talking to. Nothing average about the Lady.

As a Leverin Sarissa had been born with deep spirit well and tons of quintessence; nothing out of the ordinary for her people, but that wasn’t all. She was an exemplary of her race, unusually gifted even amongst her kin. One of the Harimali, she could trace her lineage back to the Eternian Zervai. The blood of the ascendent coursed through her veins. Now I’m no student of history, but I know at least that much. No scholar forgets to teach of the major factions of the ‘Baptism of Fire’.

The Harimali were particularly powerful because of their connection to Zervai. Elioudan they are called. Those who have eternian blood. Sarissa bloodline had been particularly strong, and she apparently was some kind of wunderkind. In trying times, her fellows used her gift as a weapon. She lamented that she’d been trained since she could walk to be an efficient killer, a reaper of lives.

That was not normally the way of the Rangers. They were taught to track, hunt and range beyond the borders of Leveria. They were the first line of defense against anything that could threaten the great forest kingdoms. Though eventually she would join the ranks of her brethren, her childhood saw her set upon a different path. She had been used as a knife in the dark, just as I had been. I could infer from what she said after that, that she had done much of the same things I had done. Anything it takes to get the kill, that’s the unspoken motto of an assassin. I could see why she felt us similar, but I wasn’t ready to admit it.

“I then met a man who changed my life,” she stated then. She looked me right in my eyes and smiled.

“A handsome young lord whom I adored. One who lifted me from perdition and into the light. Made me feel like a person for the first time.” she added. I looked away, blushing. I wasn’t easily embarrassed, but I was then.

“His was a genet named Carth Larhal, last of his name...” She looked wistful as she spoke of him.

A dalish kinling, he had been a scout for the armies of Lioncourt. As alliances formed between the remaining furkin kingdoms, Carth came to be a liaison of sorts between the Rangers and Queen Alanzia’s forces. He had opened her eyes to the possibility of what she could be outside of her duties. She had grown to love him and in order to keep him safe, she defied tradition and trained him as a ranger; the first ranger who was not of Leveria. Though her kin initially did not approve, her time with Carth had given her self-confidence and a sense of independence. When they thought to punish her, she decided to flee with Carth and fight for the ‘Queen of Hearts’ directly.

“Wait a minute...” I interrupted. Her ears perked up, and she looked away with a knowing smile. She knew what was coming.

“You’re the mother of the ‘Rangers of Lioncourt’?”I asked. She smiled proudly and held her hand out, letting pyreflies land on it and walk around.

“Not just that. I am the mother of House Larhal as well... progenitor of what they are now.” she chuckled. My eyes widened, and she nodded.

“I did,” she answered my unasked question. She had borne Carth a son, a genet, like himself. She had not been able to give birth again in Carth’s lifetime. I was particularly interested now, but still confused.

“All of this is interesting,” I murmured, unsure I wanted to reiterate my earlier point.

“But what does any of this have to do with me, my lady,” I asked again.

She sighed and muttered something about the impatience of youth. Turning her back to me she walked away before stopping.

“I have not truly been in love since Carth, though I admit to having had a thing for our previous Primus, and our current is quite charming. Love however, I’m afraid that it is beyond me now.” she told me in confidence. She looked around. Searching for words. I thought she was nervous, but then I realized she was worried about me and my feelings. I didn’t have to wait long to find out why.

“I have kept myself hardy and in high spirits in many ways and in the beds of many exceptional men.” she continued. She turned and looked at me, steel in her purple eyes.

“Lord Atreyu is simply another in that vein,” she assured.

I took a step back. My mind tried desperately to find a way to misinterpret what she had told me, but I’m no fool. She said it plain as day and the revelation hit me like a gut punch. She and Lord Atreyu... my Atreyu.

My eyes narrowed and I could feel myself getting worked up. I was normally excellent at containing my emotions, but at that moment I was about to explode. Lady Sarrisa and Lord Atreyu? It was hard to get my mind to wrap around that idea. How? When? I’d have certainly known if she had laid with him. I do keep a careful eye on my Lord and those bitches pining after him, but this was wholly unexpected.

I don’t know what came over me, a sudden bout of fury or stupidity; but my hand twitched as I stopped myself from grabbing my blade. It took every ounce of self control not to lash out at the Lady, but I held my composure. Good thing too, I felt a change in Sarissa in that brief moment. She didn’t move or anything, but I know what death feels like. I felt it from her then.

The pyreflies had left from around her in a hurry, and the air about her had changed. It was slight, and if you weren’t adept you would never have known it, but she had either been ready for a poor reaction or just was responding to whatever disruption my emotions we causing. She sensed my intent and matched it with her own. I wanted desperately to scale back the tension, but I could only blurt out;

“Why?” As I struggled to make sense of it all. She didn’t face me, she just walked forward, and the pyreflies returned. I was happy to sense that her killing intent had faded.

I had never felt so threatened before. Not by Sarissa’s strength or skill, but by her being. She was beautiful in every sense of the word. Everything about her was exceptional. There were perhaps maybe three women in the entire order who could claim to be her equal as woman, and I was near none of them. I felt despair, pure and utter despair. She could do anything I could do for Lord Atreyu, but better. She could protect him, provide for him and be a proper lady for him. Even possibly bear him a child.

“WHY!?” I demanded, doing my best to keep my emotions intact. I was failing.

“You deserved to know,” she stated simply. I said nothing. I merely trembled behind her, unable to believe what new horror reality had wrought for me. She paused for a long moment, leaving me to marinate in my anguish. Then she turned her head back to me and smiled reassuringly.

“You also deserve to know it’s nothing serious and that I do not intend to take him from you.”

Lady Sarissa had then told me how Atreyu had found himself in her bed after a night of drinking and merriment. Atreyu had been modest, but Sarissa had been insistent. I had been away. Fulfilling a mission at my master behest. She had slept with him several times since that night, often visiting him in the night. She claimed to have noticed me watching over him and made a game of getting passed me.

“I think you’re good for him, lady or no,” she said suddenly.

“I think he needs someone like you in his life. He’s too...”

“Trusting,” I interjected, unironically. She nodded. Lord Atreyu was one of the good ones, but his beliefs and decency often landed him in trouble. Lady Sarissa then reminded me of my age, but not in a harsh way. She remarked that everyone was children to her and that it didn’t stop her from pursuing relationships. She had not loved since Carth, but believed if she kept trying she would find someone. She reminded me that though young, I was near the age of womanhood and that I should not despair my difference in age with my master. To go for it with everything I had and claim what I thought was mine. She then mused that she’d keep him warm for me until I made my move.

“Got to be like a ranger in these situations... don’t hesitate when you can take your shot!’ she joked. I couldn’t help but laugh.

I bowed my head and whispered,

“Thank you, my lady.” My words were not sarcastic, I was genuinely thankful. I feared the day some ‘Lady’ like herself would come and take him from me. Push me off to the side as the lowly street urchin I was. Sarissa was one of the most impressive Ladies I’d ever seen, if she thought I could have my dream, then it gave me confidence.

“Clarissa and Sarissa, we should start a club.” she mused, changing the topic. I smiled and continued after her, all too willing to let her.

“There is Marissa the ocelot, that cleric; oh and Alyssa the blade knight...” I replied, happy to indulge her fancy. We spoke then as friends; something gained between us. A comradery perhaps, one that was not there at the beginning of our journey. By the time we returned to Lioncourt, I felt a closeness to her that I hadn’t felt for anyone else and I was thankful for it. When I’m older, when that time comes... I’ll take her advice. I’ll take my shot. I may not have the skill or grace of a ranger, but I know I won’t miss.