Chapter 29: Seeing the Truth (Patreon)

Hugo hefted a small bag in his hands, wishing it was empty. As discussed, Hugo asked his culling party for silver based on how many shots of his they used. The other formation student paid him right away. When Hugo pressed the others, they were mostly noncommittal about it.

He had expected them to blow him off, but it still made him angry. Every single one of them could easily afford to pay him, but now that they had ranked up, they didn’t feel like following through on the payments. Hugo had gotten understandably upset. He had yelled a few things he regretted.

Finn called him out on how rude he was being. He quickly paid Hugo the rest of the money he was owed. He had the money with him the whole time. Then he mentioned that he was going to request that Hugo get kicked off their team. They didn’t want to trust their lives to someone who was only concerned with money.

He set the bag down. Sixty-eight silver. It had cost him his culling party and the only positive relationship he had with nobles outside of Lenna. It was more money than he had ever had at one time. But it wasn’t much in the grand scheme of things. His tuition here was measured in platinums after all. He should have kept his mouth shut.

Shaking his head, Hugo put the bag into his footlocker and locked it. He really needed to start thinking ahead. So what if the nobles were being cheap bastards for no good reason? He should have prioritized his relationship with them over a few silver. His sense of justice and fairness had cost him connections with nobles that could have set him up with valuable jobs. He resolved to make better long term decisions from here on out.

To distract himself from the shame of making a terrible choice, Hugo decided to do his rank up now. This was a chance to make good long term decisions. He pulled up his screen and thought about his choices.

Hugo Rebane [Formation Domain]

Strength 20

Dexterity 16

Resilience 10

Regeneration 11

Intelligence 10

Wisdom 9

Charisma 11

Perception 10

Rank 8

5612/900 Points

Health 21/21

Mana 40/40

Skills: Fabricate 9, Mana Dart 2

Elements: Aluminum, Magnesium

No point in putting anything into strength, that was already his highest stat and he didn’t need a bigger mana pool right now. He had always been planning on putting two points into dexterity. That still seemed like a good idea.

He had planned on putting a point into wisdom for the faster mana regeneration. The combination of intelligence and wisdom both being at ten should be a solid boost to his mana regen. But that left two stat points unassigned.

The points he had put into perception last time had proven useful. But now that he was at ten, he didn’t think he really needed any more.

It was tempting to just throw the points into charisma. Maybe that is all he would need to be popular at parties again. It was a terrible idea for many reasons, so he just moved on.

Extra points in resilience and regeneration would be useful if he planned on hunting a lot. But his crossbow with its exploding ammo had left him entirely unscathed during their last culling.

Thinking about the crossbow helped him make up his mind. That was the main stat for using his weapon. The higher dexterity helped him aim better, and get more use out of his high strength stat. Even if he chose a different weapon in the future, a higher dexterity would improve his effectiveness with anything he chose. He went ahead and put four points into dexterity.

Hugo Rebane [Formation Domain]

Strength (24)

Dexterity (20)

Resilience 10

Regeneration 11

Intelligence 10

Wisdom (10)

Charisma 11

Perception 10

Rank 13

112/1400 Points

Health 21/21

Mana 40/(48)

Skills: Fabricate 9, Mana Dart 2

Elements: Aluminum, Magnesium

Just three more ranks until he had another element choice. He really needed to figure that out. Rasmus was right, glass was a bad choice. It was too simple and didn’t alloy with his current elements. He needed to pick something that would allow him to create something only mages could do. The best plan was to talk to someone with parents that created trains or runecarts. They would know what he should choose for his third element.

Hugo was starting to understand Oskar’s point of view. The endless parties that he went to were probably a great way to get the connections he wanted right now. Too bad Hugo had made a fool of himself and didn’t have any knowledgeable friends from the parties. But Hugo did have one useful connection. He could ask Oskar to find out the answers for him.

...

In Marta’s mana manipulation class, they had finally moved on from mana darts. Most of the class had gotten the Mana Dart skill a month ago. But there were still some formation students that hadn’t gotten the hang of the skill until recently. Hugo was proud of the fact that he had been one of the first to have the skill pop up on his stat sheet.

He was excited about the new subject they would cover today.

“Mana Sight is a skill that only some people will be able to gain. You would think that it would be easy for light mages to gain the skill with their high perception, but strangely it is just as hard for them as it is for most soulmarked. That means that the Mana Sight skill isn’t about stats. It is more about attitude, mana intuition. Some say that it is just luck, but as someone with the skill, I can tell you that it is more than that.

“We are going to spend the next few weeks trying to learn Mana Sight. I expect about a fifth of the students will gain the skill in that time. If you don’t gain it before then, you are unlikely to be able to gain it later. But you can continue these exercises on your own if you would like. It is an extremely useful skill, after all. I know of a student that gained the skill on his own after graduating, and he says all the practice was well worth it.”

She led the class downstairs, into a basement room without windows. There were mats on the floor, and the only other thing in the room was a box on a chair. After she shut the door, Marta placed a cloth across the bottom of the door.

“Have a seat everyone. This exercise has two parts. First, you are going to cycle mana through your eyes. Don’t try to expel your mana. Just move it in a steady stream from your core, through the backs of your eyes, and back to your core. At this point most of you should be able to easily do that. We are going to practice doing that for the next half hour. I want you to keep up the cycle of mana, and get into a meditative state.”

Everyone sat cross legged on the mats and Marta dimmed the lights. Hugo followed her instructions, noting that this path through his body wasn’t as easy as the well worn path for his mana darts. Hopefully, this meditation would make it easier for him over time. After a half hour of this exercise, Marta turned off the lights. It was pitch black in here, Hugo couldn’t even see his hand in front of his face.

“Somewhere in this room is a box,” Marta’s disembodied voice said, “It has a special ward inside it that positively glows when you can see mana. Your task for the next half hour is to try and sense where in the room I have placed the box. Try and keep your eyes open even though there isn’t much to see right now. And Mattias? I can see you even if no one else can. Please leave Alice alone.”

There was the sound of shuffling and scattered giggles before the room was quiet again. There was the occasional rustle of clothing, but it was otherwise silent for the rest of class. There were probably a few students that were nervous since they couldn’t see anything. The darkness felt almost peaceful to Hugo, and he was able to get into a zen like state. The cycle of mana from his core to his eyes and back felt more and more natural. He was surprised when the half hour was up. He hadn’t been able to get the skill, but he felt like he would soon.

...

That evening after dinner, Lenna pulled Hugo aside. The sun hadn’t set yet so they walked out to the shade of the trees west of the cafeteria.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” Lenna said hesitantly.

“Oh yeah? About what?” said Hugo.

“You’re too passive,” Lenna said, not looking at him.

“Too passive? What do you mean?”

“You never take initiative, in anything. Like on our last date, I was sending you the signals, and you didn’t go further.”

“Go further? I wanted to, but I was respecting your rules. You were super clear on where you wanted to be touched. Did you expect me to just ignore your boundaries?”

“No, of course not. I expected you to ask after I sent you some signals,” she huffed, “Ok, fine, bad example. I guess I am saying you have no ambition. You are just flitting around, going with the flow. You still haven’t chosen your third element.”

“I am researching it, but it’s not like I am in a rush. We won’t hit sixteen until next year.”

She ignored his statement and kept going, “And you don’t even have a plan for after you graduate. If you had a plan, a career path, it would be easy for you to pick a third element to fit into that plan. But you don’t have a plan because you are just going with the flow. You are going to pick something random for your third element, I can just tell.”

Hugo wanted to interrupt, but he was too blindsided by the tirade to know how to respond.

“You are going to end up as someone else’s lackey because you lack the ambition to lead. I don’t think I can be with someone that isn’t as strong as I am.”

“What are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?”

“... yes.”

“That’s it? You are breaking up with me right after you tell me something is wrong? Why don’t you at least give me a chance to change? I can fix this.”

“I don’t want to be with someone that is only assertive because I told them to be. That doesn’t really count. And I don’t think you really want to be with someone that wants to change you either. It is best if we just break up.”

It hit Hugo like a sack of bricks. He had been planning on how to make the next date more romantic, not breaking up entirely.

“You are a good guy, Hugo. Someone would be happy to have you as a boyfriend. But for me, good is just the bare minimum. I need someone passionate and strong. I am going to take the world by storm after I graduate, and I need someone to stand by my side, not follow meekly,” she paused, “That came out harsher than I meant. I am sorry. I will always consider you a friend, but I understand if you don’t want to spend time with me anymore.”

She walked away, and Hugo didn’t say anything to stop her.

He totally missed the following cryptozoology class. He just slumped up against a tree in the courtyard and stared off into space. He decided he wasn’t going to ever go back to that class. He could just read the book in his dorm at night. He could read it right now, but he didn’t feel like moving just yet.

...

“She didn’t even leave any room for me to disagree with her, you know?” Hugo had been talking with Oskar about the break up for most of the evening. “I know she was wrong about me, but how can I beg her to reconsider, when the man she wants is someone that would never beg? She just wants someone that can read her mind and just always pick the right choice. She should date a light archmage, someone that can really read her mind. It’s the only way she would be happy.”

“Let’s talk about something else, man,” Oskar said, “You aren’t going to get over her in a day.”

“Yeah, fine,” Hugo said. He sighed and tried to get his emotions under control. It just hurt so much. Oskar was right though, focusing on something else would do him some good.

Hugo eventually said, “There is something I wanted to ask you about. I want to talk to someone who makes mana carts, but you are literally my only friend at school. Do you think you can introduce me to someone? I am trying to choose my third element.”

Oskar chuckled morosely, “Bad time to ask, buddy. Last couple of parties have not gone well for me. I am not exactly popular right now.”

“Oh, I am sorry. What happened?”

“I don’t... I don’t know if I want to talk about that right now either.”

“No worries, I’m not gonna press you on it.”

“It’s fine. I think I have a plan to turn things around. I will know next week.

...

During Marta’s mana class, Hugo was getting distracted. It was pitch black again in their room, and he was circulating mana through his eyes. But no matter how hard he tried, he still couldn’t see a thing.

Because he was bored, Hugo started making his mana swirl in more interesting ways. He had it corkscrew around, do figure eights through his eyes, take the long way from his core to his brain and down through his eyes.

Then, he thought he saw something. A smudge on his vision that wouldn’t go away.

Skill Gained!

Through special actions you have unlocked the skill Mana Sight.

The pitch black room was suddenly filled. It wasn’t like he could see people, he could only see their mana. It was like the room was full of dimly glowing floating balls. On the opposite side of the room was a bright glowing object. That must be the box that Marta had carried in. Before he gained the skill, it was just a smudge.

A smile slowly spread across his face. The floating balls were people’s soul cores, he could really see mana. This was wonderful. He was one of the few people that would get this skill. They said that it was a sign of a talented mage. And he got it. His future was looking up.

...

It was tough, seeing Lenna after that. They had three classes together, he couldn’t avoid seeing her. She was adept at avoiding him though, they didn’t say two words to each other for the next month straight. She didn’t even know he had picked up the Mana Sight skill.

It hurt, seeing her. He wanted nothing more than to go up to her and tell her all about his new skill, his new plans. Despite the break up, he still found himself longing for her. But he knew she had made up her mind. He knew her well enough that she would see his trying to win her back as pathetic.

Doubly so since she had obviously moved on. She was dating Mattias now. The two were like peas in a pod, both driven to be the most important one in any room. She seemed happier now, with her new boyfriend and her new friends.

His father had told him once that there was an easy way to tell if you truly loved someone. If you wanted the best for them, even if it meant that they were happier in the arms of another, then it meant you truly loved them. By that measure, Hugo never really loved Lenna, because seeing her like that made his stomach roil. He hated seeing her happy, when all he could feel was pain and sadness.