Home Artists Posts Import Register

Downloads

Content

And we got there!  Just before the end of the month.

Yep, still took a little longer than I'd like, but it's over freaking 11,000 words.  I really should learn to rein my succubi in.

*glances over at succubi*

N-n-no.  That's fine.  You can have your fun.

It's another self-contained succubus short story.  I know some people would rather I worked on series-type works like Succubus Summoning, but I'm still trying to write myself back into form.  For the moment this is writing the self-contained succubus shorts I first started out with.

I did try to be a little experimental with this one.  I put a lot more character background into the two main characters than I would normally in order to play up their rivalry.  There were some other things as well, but I'll leave that to a 'succubus dissection' post in a week or two.  It was interesting writing this, as it slid around a bit from my original plans.  Would love to hear people's thoughts on it.

Anyway, enjoy!

-manyeyedhydra

Comments

Anonymous

Still finishing it up, but I love it! I don't know why, but I always prefer stories where the protagonist is a "Good Guy" - it just feels more relatable. I liked how your failing to mention her attire early on was even a part of the story, in and of it's self! Also, pretty much anything where the Femme Fatale happens to lovely Goth seductress is just the cherry on top of a Succubus cake! (i.e. a stripper cake that contains a gaggle of horny Succubi instead ;P) Edit because I pressed enter to early: Aside from a few grammatical errors that any body would have made when excitedly getting a story out, the only problems that existed were other things that a read-over or couldn't fix. All in all, great story!! I would say that I can't wait to see what to see what you come out with next, but you don't need the pressure XD

manyeyedhydra

Did feel a little guilty reading the first part and knowing where the story was going to end up (although, in this one there is a fair degree of ambiguity on the ending - succubi are delightfully duplicitous creatures, after all... ;) ) Also, I didn't have my usual leave-on-the-side-for-a-week approach to editing, so grammatical errors probably slipped through because I read what I thought I wrote, rather than what I actually wrote. In this case don't feel shy in pointing out what I fucked up. Some fuck ups are deliberate because I'm fine with breaking grammar rules to keep some kind of authenticity of speech with a main character. Some fuck ups are just fuck ups. :D

Anonymous

Great! Thanks.

Anonymous

That was a great story, just like every other story you write tbh. Which makes me think... You always say "you need to get back into shape", but literally all of your stories are good. What do you mean when you say "you need to get back into shape"? Because personally speaking... If we get one story a month, on this level of quality, then there is nothing to complain about. Besides that, there are two things I wanted to ask. One regarding the story, one regarding your stories in general. First of all, when she killed him in the end, was that because he fell to corruption? Because she did mention that she likes the aspect of corrupting the innocent and that is what happened in my opinion. He was thinking about becoming a warlock, due to the pleasure and not anything else. And he also didnt care about his rival getting killed in the end. So did she kill him because of that, or did she plan to kill him all along? Secondly, you always put big emphasize on either the soul being consumed, or the life energy beong consumed. Are those two different things? Because the soul being consumed is equal to ending someones existence, while the other is more like killing him, but the soul moves on to heaven or hell.

manyeyedhydra

Quality I'm reasonably okay with at the moment. Main problem I'm having is taking too long or just not finishing stories. Even the last two got stuck around the halfway mark. On the questions about the succubus in this story, I'm planning to do the usual 'inside guide' posts that will hopefully answer those questions. The second question also might make an interesting 'writing guide' post as well. I tend to like 'biological plausibility' (venom that converts the body into semen) over abstract 'energy drain', but then break that when I want to hint at 'souls'. I think that'll make an interesting subject for a longer post.