Rouge V (Patreon)

“‘Bout time,” Vexxx muttered as Rouge opened her eyes.

Rouge sat up, glaring. “I’d like to see you get ready that fast. It just seemed longer because of the time dilation.”

Her cousin snorted. “Right. I bet once I get used to it, I can do it in three minutes-”

::Rouge!:: a familiar voice squeaked in Party Chat, as a fuzzy, adorable bat came flying in through the open window. Rouge was the only person who still slept in Aspen’s old house, and that was purely so Silus could find her as soon as possible after she woke up. Well, and maybe a little bit because towers were cool.

Silus landed on Rouge’s shoulder with a soft thump, and Rouge nuzzled the little creature with her cheek before craning her neck to frown down at her. “Did you get bigger again?”

The bat preened her ears proudly. ::So much bigger. William had to widen the entrance to his house.::

Reaching up, Rouge gently scooped Silus into her palm. Indeed, the bat now filled most of her hand, more like a seven and a half ounce can of soda rather than a can of tomato paste.

“I’m hungry,” Rouge said abruptly, swinging her legs from the bed where her Zombie had been resting while she was logged out. “Is the Smiling Ostrich open?” She used to log in nearly every day, and didn’t need anyone to tell her what time it was when she got here. Now, though, all she was sure of was that the sun was streaming in through the window at an angle that indicated it was probably fairly early in the day.

::Yep!:: Silus piped, at the same time Vexxx said, “Is that the restaurant?” and patted his belly through his loose red robe. He looked like he’d mugged Mickey Moose for his wizard outfit, right down to the pointy hat, and she barely managed not to snicker every time she saw him.

Rouge crossed to the window and let out a piercing whistle. There was a pause, and then a booming call echoed through the bustling town far below her bedroom at the top of the castle tower. She grinned, and Silus fluttered off of her shoulder as Rouge climbed up, crouching on the windowsill as her eyes scanned the street.

From behind her, Vexxx muttered, “I hate it when you do this,” and she heard the sound of the trapdoor that now served as the exit from the house perched on the tower. He would have to take the stairs, since he didn’t have a spell that would allow him to fall safely from this height, nor did he have-

A few startled cries rose up as Rouge’s trusty Battle Ostrich, Codswallop, came running through the streets. He mostly leapt over anyone or anything in his path, and you could tell the residents from the visitors just by checking to see who calmly moved to the side of the road and who crouched, cowering, as he bounced over them.

As soon as he was close enough, Rouge leaped from the window, somersaulting twice before forming her body into the perfect position to land neatly on the tiny saddle strapped to Codswallop’s back. The ostrich chirruped happily as he felt her weight settle in place, and turned his long neck so he could nuzzle his beak into her hair. Rouge happily rubbed his ear-holes and stroked his head. “Who’s a good bird?” she cooed.

From behind her, she heard a slightly breathless gagging sound from Vexxx. Silus sounded slightly miffed as she said, ::You never tell me I’m a good bat.::

Ignoring her cousin, Rouge held out an arm invitingly, and as Silus landed on it, she said, “There, ‘oo’s a good bat?” in the most cloying voice she could manage. Silus giggled adorably, while Vexxx redoubled his efforts at pretend-vomiting.

“Come on,” Vexxx muttered, when he finished panting and acting like he was going to spew. “That soup was good, but it wasn’t enough. The food here may not be real, but it’s not bad, and at least I’ll feel full.”

She smirked. Millie’s food wasn’t just ‘not bad’; it was amazing, and he hadn’t ever eaten while in a pod. Headset-users rarely bothered to eat unless they were going for the Well-fed buff, mainly because most food tasted like flavored cardboard to them. She clucked to Wally, and tapped her heels gently against his sides. “To Millie’s, Wally.”

The ostrich took off at his usual speed, which was much faster than any wimpy wizard could keep up with. As much as she wanted to leave Vexxx in the dust, he really hadn’t eaten very often in Refuge, and she wasn’t sure he knew where the Smiling Ostrich was, though it should be easy enough to find on his city map. Besides, she was supposed to be making nice so he’d open up to her.

Reluctantly, she tugged at the leads to the loose bridle on Wally’s head. She didn’t need it, usually, but sometimes when he was excited he suddenly became ‘deaf’ to her commands, and he really, really liked Millie’s cinnamon rolls. “Slow down, Wall,” she murmured. “Let Vexxx catch up.” Glancing over her shoulder, she saw that the mage was still doggedly chasing after her, and when Codswallop slowed down, he let himself look relieved for a second, before his usual mask of disdain slipped over his face.

“Why don’t you put more points into Endurance?” she called back. “You’re such a glass cannon.”

Vexxx put on a last burst of speed, probably driven by the anger she heard in his voice when he glanced around and hissed, “Tell everyone my weakness, why don’t you?”

She laughed, and Silus giggled. Even Wally seemed to cast a particularly doubtful glance at the wizard. “Anyone can see you’re a wimp,” Rouge said. “I mean, you’re barely jogging, and you’re panting like Max after that big mama squirrel makes him chase her around the yard a few times.”

She felt her amusement sour as she realized that that was one more thing she’d have to leave behind when they moved. The mother squirrel had been around since Max was a puppy, and she flew through the branches of the trees in their yard like an acrobat, forcing the dog to run in circles, barking madly. The two were friends, though, and when the squirrel had fallen to the ground after one of her dad’s attempts at tree pruning, Max had whined until she followed him and found the poor little thing. She and her dad had taken the squirrel to a wildlife rehab clinic until she was better, and then returned her to their back yard. They always knew which squirrel was her because of the bent spot in her fluffy tail where it had been broken in the fall.

Vexxx’s finger snap pulled Rouge out of her gloomy ruminations, and she blinked at the bright spark of electricity that hovered in front of her face. It popped, and a miniature arc of lightning crackled as it tried to shock her.

You have resisted Lightning-Lv1 thanks to Gina’s Blessing.

She grinned as Vexxx scowled. “I hate that you do that,” he muttered.

Rouge was the Saintess of Gina, which came with quite a lot of perks. She was the only saintess (or saint) that anyone knew of in the entire game. For a little while, it had made her uncomfortably famous, but that died down when people realized that she rarely did anything more interesting than deliver tea to old ladies and kill basement rats. Rouge didn’t really need to do Reputation quests in Refuge, since her Rep was maxed out here, but it had been the best way to get players hoping for video of her doing something cool to leave her alone.

Well, that and keeping her privacy settings maxed, so anyone trying to take her picture got images of a randomly-generated avatar instead. No one had yet figured out how to stream or take snaps of anyone in-game without using Veritas Online’s built-in camera, which respected people’s personal settings. Of course, now that Bridget was releasing some of the tech on which the game had been built, it was possible that would change, but so far, so good.

“I have over two thousand mana,” Vexxx boasted as he came up beside her.

She stared down at him, biting her lip. As half Dark Elf, her mana was four times her Intelligence, rather than the base three. She also had a boon from Gina, giving her an extra ten percent to all her stats, including Int. And she was more than thirty levels higher than her cousin. All of that, and her mana was still slightly under one thousand. In order for a level eighty-three player to have two thousand mana… She did some quick math, which told her Vexxx had invested at least six hundred and sixty-six of his eight hundred and forty stat points into Intelligence. That left a maximum of one hundred and seventy-four points to be distributed between all of his other stats, which was roughly the equivalent of a level sixteen newbie. No wonder he got out of breath if he even so much as thought about physical exertion.

“What do you even do with all that?” she asked, finally.

He tilted his nose into the air. “I have the best [Tempest] in the game.”

Great. Her cousin’s claim to fame was an overpowered Area of Effect spell that didn’t differentiate between friend and foe. She reminded herself (not for the first time) that not only was he too annoying to party with, he was also potentially dangerous, even to his allies.

Wally came to a halt as they reached the doors of the Smiling Ostrich, and Rouge hopped down, patting her bird on the shoulder. “I’ll bring you some cinnamon rolls, Wally. Hang on.” His big eyes blinked, long lashes sweeping down as he bobbed his head. She remembered when he would have tried to follow her inside the building, but these days he seemed to have mellowed a bit, or maybe he just trusted her more.

As she and Vexxx walked into the inn, a brunette teenager greeted them cheerfully. She was wearing a frilly apron, and looked both plumper and much happier than she had when Rouge first met her as a skinny, frightened orphan. Rouge waved. “Hey, Ulie! We need a good breakfast and some cinnamon rolls.” Silus twitched, her ears tickling Rouge’s jaw, and Rouge quickly added, “And some fruit.”

Ulie smiled and placed the mug she was holding on the table in front of a customer. As she approached, the door leading to the kitchen opened, releasing a torrent of delicious smells and Ulie’s adoptive mother, Millie.

Millie, too, smiled, her round, red cheeks bright with sweat from the heat of the kitchen. She and Ulie came to stand by the booth that was reserved for Rouge, Aspen, Tess, and any other Heroes of Refuge.

“I thought I recognized yer voice, Rouge!” Millie said brightly. She looked over at Ulie. “Would y’ let Jack know Rouge’s order’s first? I wouldna want our Lady’s Saintess t’wait.” Her eyes twinkled as Rouge flinched, looking around to see if anyone had overheard. Everyone knew about Rouge by now, but there was no reason to remind them.

Vexxx’s brows rose as he looked between the Amazonian chef and his cousin, and she felt her cheeks heat. This was the first time he’d come here, at least with her, so he didn’t know Millie and her family had been part of Rouge’s initial quest that had led to the founding and protection of the city. She took a mild satisfaction in the fact that her irritating cousin didn’t seem to be able to do the single-brow lift that she had recently perfected.

Rouge cleared her throat as she slid into the booth, pushing the ‘Reserved’ sign to the back of the table. Vexxx slid in across from her, and Silus climbed down her arm and onto the wooden surface. Vexxx looked a little dubious about having a bat on their eating surface, but Rouge glared at him when he opened his mouth, and he shut it again with a click.

Millie hovered for a few minutes, as Ulie scurried back into the kitchen, ignoring a few other patrons who tried to catch her attention. Millie and Rouge exchanged pleasantries, with Rouge asking how Millie’s two sons, Jiminy and Lionel, were doing, while Millie asked about Aspen’s newborn daughter, Wren. Wren was adorable, of course, and Jiminy, who was the very definition of a ‘scamp’, was fodder for enough amusing stories to keep them talking until Ulie showed up carrying two trays piled high with food.

As Ulie slid plate after plate onto their table, Millie nodded in satisfaction, finally patting the girl on the back with a powerful hand as she reluctantly stepped back toward the kitchen. “Well,” the chef said, “let Ulie know if’n you need anythin’ else. It was nice t’ see you, Rouge. An’ you, young Vexxx.” With a final smile, she headed back to her domain, and Ulie hurried off to answer the increasingly strident calls of the other customers, leaving Rouge, Vexxx, and Silus alone at last.

Absently, Vexxx reached out and picked up a glistening biscuit, which crumbled slightly beneath his fingers, releasing a rich, buttery smell. He sniffed once, then leaned closer. “That’s amazing. Food doesn’t smell like this when I use the head-” the last syllable was muffled as he took a bite, and she watched in amusement as his eyes rolled back in his head and he moaned. The rest of the biscuit was quickly followed by overflowing forkfuls of eggs, crispy bacon, glistening sausage, and mounds of fluffy pancakes smothered in syrup.

While her gluttonous cousin was attempting to choke himself on what could well be the best food he’d ever eaten, Rouge ate more slowly, appreciating the perfect texture of the pancakes, the maple sweetness mingled with the salt and grease of the bacon and sausage, and, of course, the pillowy, yeasty, cinnamon-and-sugar-flavored perfection of the cinnamon rolls. Silus also inhaled her fruit, which had been cut into cubes exactly the right size for a tiny bat to stuff into her mouth.

When the bat and the boy were packed to the gills with Millie’s delectable dishes, they both leaned back, groaning. Silus’ belly was visibly rounder, and Rouge suspected that if Vexxx’s robes hadn’t been so baggy, she would have been able to tell that he, too, was more spherical than before.

Vexxx released a resounding belch, then stared at Rouge. “Is it like that all the time? Like, with the pod?”

Rouge laughed, though she also instinctively leaned away from the cloud of burp-breath that would have been drifting toward her in real life. “Not as much any more. Veritas Corp actually toned down the taste of the food after someone,” her, though she would probably be hunted down by the other players if she ever admitted it, “mentioned that it was actually better than real-life food. They don’t want people to choose playing the game over living their actual lives, so they intentionally keep some minor irritations in the game. But,” she cut him off as he started to speak, “the Smiling Ostrich is the one exception. Millie’s food is still just as good as it was before Veritas nerfed it, and Bridget said it always will be, as long as people don’t find out about it and start flooding the place. The game is designed to shuffle player-load around between servers, keeping any one location from being unrealistically packed with people, but if too many people show up in one place, the algorithms that determine which player is on which server start to get overwhelmed, which-” She broke off at the blank look on Vexxx’s face.

“So,” Vexxx summed up, “if I want the food to keep being good, I need to keep my mouth shut?”

She nodded, and Vexxx mimed zipping his lips. “Done, dog,” he said, grinning as he snagged a cinnamon roll from the towering stack Ulie had brought for Codswallop.

Rouge opened her mouth to tell him to put it back, then changed her mind and just leaned forward, saying, “Let’s talk about the quest.”