Chapter One hundred ninety-nine (Patreon)

Disjointed thoughts filled Kaz’s mind for the rest of the ride. He ate food when it was pressed into his hands, drank water when Lianhua handed him a cup, but he barely spoke, even to Li, who was clearly worried about him. The dragon kept trying to help him put his memories in some kind of order that made sense, but moments that seemed to have nothing to do with each other kept combining to create wilder and wilder theories that Kaz was forced to discard when yet another seemingly unrelated memory intruded.

He kept circling back to two questions. They seemed to have nothing to do with each other, and yet Kaz knew that somehow they were linked. First, why had the Woodblades had to die? Was it truly just Vega and the Magmablades’ compulsion to tear apart the Deep, destroy whatever Qiangde had been trying to do, and escape? Or did Nucai really have something to do with it? If so, were the new Woodblades really safe now that the Magmablades had decided to protect them instead of attempting to take over? Had Kaz left too soon? But what more could he have done, other than confront Nucai and die?

Kaz stared down at Li, barely seeing his small friend where she perched in front of him on the mule. Somehow, the first question always led to the second. Who had attacked the Broken Knives at the top of the mountain? Why? Obviously, they were after cores, and Rega and Oda must have had far more powerful ones than they let on. Hadn’t they? If Oda was strong enough to be chief of a Great Tribe, or even pretend to be one, surely she had to have been much stronger than any of the chiefs of the small, weak tribes in the heights. Oda, Rega, and Ghazt had all been powerful, but none of them had shown that power. But all three wore the necklaces Nucai ‘gave’ to the strongest members of the Great Tribes. Did that explain who they were so weak? Or did they just act weak?

Which, again, led back to the question of who attacked the tribe. Who knew Oda and Rega’s cores would be worth hunting? Had the core-hunter even gotten Oda’s core? Katri had been acting very strangely, suddenly insisting that they had to fight their way back to the Deep, just as Oda always had. Had she eaten Oda’s core, and his sister’s core had already been under attack by their insane adoptive mother’s core? Were Katri and his tribe really safe with the former Longtooths? Kaz had been so eager to leave that he hadn’t even tried to argue.

A deep sense of self-loathing was threatening to overtake him. Selfishly, he had abandoned his sister, his tribe, and his people to unknown assailants. Was Katri even still alive? Or had the core-hunter already stalked her down a few paltry levels and taken her core?

<You couldn’t do anything,> Li broke in, rubbing her head against his hand as she watched him in concern. <You were too weak when you left the heights, and Nucai is still stronger than you.>

Which was why he’d been feeling a compulsion to grow stronger. Grow, and grow, and grow, strong enough to protect everyone he loved. But who was that, really?

<Me,> Li said confidently, and he smiled down at her, his ears finally lifting away from his head.

“Yes, you,” he murmured. But who else? With Ghazt and Rega dead, and his last illusions about Oda destroyed, Katri was his only remaining family. Except that she wasn’t. Ija was his cousin, as were Kyla and Gram. He even had a great-aunt in Sika, and there were undoubtedly other relatives scattered through all of the tribes. But did he care about them? He certainly liked many of them, but that was as far as it went. Even if he did, did that mean he had a responsibility to take care of them?

Again, Li rubbed her head on his hand, silent for once in the face of Kaz’s internal struggles. He had been weak for so long, and yet every male knew his duty was to protect. Protect his mate, his pups, and his tribe. How could Kaz leave everything behind for something so selfish as a simple urge to escape and see the world outside the mountain?

“Here we are,” Raff said with great satisfaction as he brought his horse to a stop in front of a particularly dense patch of trees and bushes. The sun was beginning to set again, coating the world in orange and red. Green leaves turned brown, and the shadows lay thick on the ground.

“It’s just more trees,” Kyla whimpered.

Kyla had become less and less enamored of the horses as they continued to ride. Kobold legs didn’t lay against the animals’ sides as easily as human limbs, and the pup had switched briefly to rejoin Kaz on the mule for a while after lunch. Between Kaz’s morose silence and Li’s continuing refusal to allow Kyla to pet her, the young kobold soon begged Lianhua to take her back, and now she sat with both legs on one side of the horse, rather than facing front as the humans did.

Raff grinned, hopping down from his own horse, which gave him a reproachful look and shook its head, huffing loudly. Walking over to a thick section of bushes, Raff leaned in, pressing the symbol on his shoulder into them. With a soft rustle, they slid out of the way, revealing the side of the grassy hill rising behind them. The hill split, revealing a cavity inside that reminded Kaz a little too much of the damp, glistening crevice in the Tree into which his father had once placed him.

“C’mon in,” the human told them, tugging at the horse as he stepped inside the dim and earthy entrance. The horse balked, but Raff pulled the leather strips attached to the harness taut, and the animal reluctantly followed. After that, the other horses and Kaz’s mule went through as well, though the others had to get down or risk hitting their heads on the top of the opening.

Inside, the hill almost seemed larger than it had looked on the outside. The gentle slope opened out into a cavern that a good-sized tribe could have made into a den, making Kaz feel momentarily at home, until he realized that the floor was packed dirt, and the walls were made of brick, not stone. No stalactites hung from the ceiling, and the ground was smooth, sloping down to where a small stream emerged from one side and exited into the earth on the other.

Lianhua instantly created a light orb, which hung in the center of the space, and, seeing it, Kyla proudly summoned her own light. Oddly, rather than the usual flickering, flame-like glow of a kobold’s ki light, Kyla’s flashed, then stabilized into something more like Lianhua’s pure, clear orb. Like the steady illumination of the sun. The puppy’s image of light was already shifting to something new after only having been exposed to the humans and the outer world for a few days.

Seeing it, Lianhua smiled, then reached up to touch the light, which was both smaller and closer to the ground than her own. Quickly, she pulled back her fingers. “It’s a little hot,” she told the young kobold. “That’s all right, but make sure you’re being very intentional about it. Creating heat as well as light takes more ki, and if it gets too warm, you could start a fire or burn someone.”

Kyla’s ears lowered, and her tail stilled behind her as she concentrated. The color of her light shifted a little further from red toward white, and Kaz could see the flow of ki linking her to it thin slightly. It still looked like it could be more efficient, but it was better, and Kyla could probably maintain it indefinitely without pressing her core to produce more ki.

Li was watching the two females, head tilted to the side. Absently, she blew a small ring of vapor, and created a tiny spark in the very center of it, causing the round cloud to glow as the light reflected from the miniscule droplets of water. With a little sniff, she glided down from the mule’s back, flapping her wings just once, as she dove through the ring, scattering fog and light that trailed behind her as she landed on the edge of the little stream. With no further ado, she leaped in, splashing the ground nearby.

Everyone except for Kaz and Chi Yincang laughed, but for the first time that day, Kaz felt his gloom lift. He had made mistakes, he was sure, and those mistakes would have consequences, but in this moment, he was here, with his friends and his dragon, and he was glad for that.

Lianhua turned on them all, hands on her hips. “We need baths,” she told them. “Get drinks and refill your water before we start, because the water will be disgusting for a while after.” She pointed at Kaz. “You’re last, because no one else will be able to get clean after you.”

Kyla’s eyes were bright as she watched Li dive and splash in the merry little stream. Mei had followed the dragon more cautiously, and was now drinking thirstily, her front paws in the water a little ways upstream. “Me first?” Kyla asked, and Lianhua frowned slightly.

“Perhaps we can go at the same time,” the human female said diplomatically. She clearly wanted to be first, but she was willing to share. The stream wasn’t that large or deep, and wouldn’t even reach Lianhua’s knees, but they could sit in the water and get clean enough.

Raff chuckled. “Turn down th’ lights, then, an’ we’ll go make some supper.” Raff had killed a few rabbits that day, simply by flicking pebbles at them as they ran in front of the group. He’d hung them from the leather pad on which he sat, and to Kaz’s surprise, the beast hadn’t shied at the scent of blood. Clearly, the animals were used to it.

Now, Lianhua and Kyla retreated to one end of the cave as Raff began to dress his kills. The males stood or crouched with their backs toward the stream, so Kaz mimicked them, though his ears swiveled as he heard Kyla’s giggles. Li offered to show him what was happening, but Kaz resisted the urge to find out what was making the pup laugh, and instead focused on preparing food.

Thanks to Raff, Kaz knew at least some plants that were safe to eat. The sweet, fresh green curls of ferns, and clusters of round blue berries, but not the red or white. He had gathered mushrooms, as well, surprised to find toufa lurking in the crevices of a rotting log. They were smaller than he was used to, but a tentative nibble told him they tasted just as good, and didn’t cause his stomach to hurt. Each time they stopped, a few found their way into his storage pouch, the action of gathering feeling comfortingly familiar.

Raff prepared the rabbits, and Kaz filled them with green plants and fungus, along with a few berries to add sweetness. Chi Yincang watched the entrance, which was once again closed. Laughter and splashing echoed from the stream, and Kaz felt himself slowly relax, letting go of the things he couldn’t change.

By the time the females were done washing, Raff was turning the rabbits on a spit over his fire stone. Kaz took over while Raff washed up, then shocked them all by returning with almost all of his face-fur removed, and the hair on top of his head cut short and ragged.

Raff ran a hand over the mess, the familiar grin looking strange in the new expanse of bare skin. “I was hopin’ someone could trim this up,” he said. “I found some blue-bark near our camp last night, so I can color my hair.”

Running a hand over his smooth jaw, he grimaced. “I’ve had that beard for nearly ten years. Short, dark hair, no fuzz, an’ I bet even the tavern maids at the Long Lyre wouldn’t recognize me.”

Kaz and Kyla exchanged a glance. Raff still smelled like Raff, albeit somewhat cleaner, but such a simple change certainly wouldn’t fool them. Which actually spawned another question into Kaz’s overwrought mind. How had simply dying his fur allowed Ghazt to hide in the Deep for years? Kobolds knew each other as much by scent as sight. Surely someone must have caught his scent and recognized it. Or had he only been ‘hiding’ from Vega and Oda, and others knew exactly where he was?

Kaz looked toward the scent of burning meat, seeing that at some point he had stopped turning the rabbits. One side was looking distinctly blackened, and Raff stepped forward, firmly taking the spit from him.

“Go wash up,” the tall man said with unusual gentleness.

Lianhua nodded, her eyes sparkling. “I left something by the stream. It’s for you.”

Kaz glanced around, only then realizing that Li hadn’t returned with the others. Was she still playing?

<Come see,> Li said, her voice full of suppressed excitement. She must have been working very hard not to let any of that seep through their connection.

Kaz cast a wistful glance at the rabbits, which smelled delicious, in spite of the burned section. He would have liked to eat before he washed. The cave was warmer than the depths of the mountain, but it would still take quite a while for wet fur to dry, and he didn’t want to be uncomfortable while he ate.

Now that he was paying attention to Li, however, the ki between them fairly vibrated with emotion, so Kaz gave a soft sigh and walked out of the light of Lianhua’s orb and toward the sound of running water.