W E S T W O R L D (Patreon)

HAVE YOU WATCHED THE VIDEO YET? I'm super into it. And proud. But! I want to give you a bit of an embarrassing backstory. I'm not supposed to talk about it but I can't not tell you. I will deny it if you quote me, though.

Here's the thing: I thought I was going to get a starring role on Westworld.

So. Go back a few months. My computer pings: new email. It's from a production company. The headline says "Prominent Feature on Westworld Season 2" and I was like "Oh. My. God. It's happening. I'M GETTING A ROLE ON WESTWORLD. Is it to much to expect a girl's sleepover party with Evan Rachel Wood? Also, what's my stance on onscreen nudity? Maybe butt cheeks, but only from the side? Or would I get a body double? Would I get to pick my own body double? And should I pick somebody more attractive than me? Or less??"

For a FULL DAY I thought I had gotten a role on Westworld and I felt like hot shit. Isn't that a weird expression btw? Hot shit? No matter the temperature of fecal matter, I don't want to be it.

Next day. Ping. New email. The production company explains that the prominent feature was "on my own YouTube channel". Disappointment. Deflated ego. Shame. Nobody wants a side shot of my butt and I'll never get invited to a sleepover at Evan Rachel Wood's house.

But, after a while I realized, wow. This is actually pretty dope. I'm doing a sponsored project with HBO. Holy shit.

Holy shit? Isn't that a weird expression btw? No matter how much you pray to it, I will not consider a pile of fecal matter holy.

So, I made Sim Two. She is currently legless and living underneath my bed but let's not dwell on that. Let's remember the happier times. Here they are in a random series of photos. 

And remember, all of this is top secret. Or as top secret as something that almost 2000 people know can be. Also, #sendsimonetowestworld. Wink.

The only side cheek I'm giving you

Uncanny