Mysa Problem 3 (Patreon)

Yeah, a bunch of you probably noticed Spough's name. ;-)

———

Imo waited, day after day, his robot parked at the same spot—just outside the wire mesh door of the breaker box. He left the robot control up in one tab while he idly played in another. At first, he worked. He studied the ship’s schematic and everything he could pull from the databases about mysa language and culture, but it only held his attention for so long.

By the fourth day, he was on the verge of giving up when he heard translated words echoed from one of the tabs. “Imo? Are you there?”

“Oh, crap! Crap! Hang on!” the geroo shouted as he shuffled through his open tabs, looking for the one that controlled the Ambassador. “Oh, there you are! Did you have any success?” he asked once he was able to control the robot again.

Spough walked slowly to the door, dragging her tail. She grabbed the mesh with one paw and sadly shook her head. “Not so much,” she admitted.

“What?” Imo gasped in surprise. “I thought your leaders would be excited to negotiate with us!”

“I dunno why you would think that,” said the rodent. “I couldn’t even get permission to speak with anyone important. And everyone I could get a moment with … well, they all hated the idea of giving you guys anything.”

Imo flopped back in his seat, feeling defeated. “Really?” he gasped. “But we’re offering you … everything!”

“Everything?” she chuffed. “You’ve offered us nothing.”

“What are you talking about?” he squeaked. “We’re giving you food and security and—”

“We have all that,” Spough explained. “This robot of yours is harmless. You guys are too big to come in here and find us. There’s plenty of kerrati to eat—”

“Wait, wait, wait!” begged the communications officer. “I understand that it might seem that way, but none of this is liable to last. This robot is harmless because we don’t want to hurt you, but we won’t defy the krakun. If they insist, we will make dangerous robots. There may be plenty of kerrati for now, but if your population booms, their numbers will crash.”

“And that’s the big thing!” Spough growled, pushing her face up against the mesh. “You guys are bullies!”

“What?” Imo’s jaw hung open in shock.

“All I’ve been getting from you are threats! If we don’t do what you want, then yadda yadda yadda poisonous gas!”

Imo covered his muzzle with a paw and sunk in upon himself. Some communication officer he was turning out to be! He felt terrible.

“Okay, I understand,” he whispered into the microphone, beating his fist lightly against his forehead. “I hadn’t really thought about things from your point of view. I’ve just been so worried for both your people and my own that I’ve been focused on the negative. That was a really lousy way to start off a friendship.”

The mysa perked her ears but said nothing.

“I’m sorry. Please let me start over again. I can do better at this.”

She leaned her elbows against the gate and her chin against the wire. “I dunno,” the little creature sighed. “You got me all worked up, and I stuck my neck out for you. I lost a lot of credibility.”

“I understand.” He drew a deep breath and released it slowly. “Listen, it’s very nice to meet you, Spough. I’d like to personally welcome you aboard the Verdant Shore I.”

Her ears lifted slightly.

“And I’d also like to thank all of your people for helping us.”

She cocked her head. “Helping you?”

“Yes!” he said, his ears grinning. “The kerrati have been a huge problem on this ship. We’ve tried to control their numbers, but we’ve only had limited success. We really appreciate that you’ve helped get rid of so many, and personally, I’m glad you guys find them tasty.”

There was a pause while Spough tilted her head left and right, mulling his words. “Yeah, all right. No problem.”

“So,” he said with a smile, “you guys helped us out. How can I return the favor?”

The mysa jerked back away from the cage. “What?”

“That’s the polite thing to do, right?” asked Imo. “You helped us, so it’s only right that we help you.”

She wrung her paws nervously. “Well, we weren’t… I mean… It wasn’t really our—”

“How can we repay you?” Imo asked. “What can we do for you?”

“Uh…” At long last, she shrugged. “I … don’t know?”

Imo leaned on his elbow, carefully picking his words. “Well, perhaps you could ask your friends? Tell them that the geroo really appreciate what you guys have been doing for us, but we’re not sure how best to repay you. Perhaps they can suggest things? I could meet you back here again tomorrow around this same time, and you can tell me what they said.”

# # #

Imo returned to the breaker box the following day but left disappointed. The little brown mysa never turned up. She was a no-show again the day after, and Imo had nearly not returned to the box himself on the day after that, but speaking with Spough had been the best progress he’d made with the mysa, and he didn’t want to start over from zero.

And there she was, waiting for him.

“Spough!” Imo cried out when he saw her. “I’m so glad you came back. I was afraid I wouldn’t see you again.”

“Yeah, I’m here,” she said, her tone … somewhat crabby, perhaps? The communications officer found it challenging to determine after the translator software converted her words to geroo.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Is everyone still angry because my fears sounded like threats? I’m so sorry about that. Did they not tell you what they want?”

“No, they told me,” said Spough. She leaned an elbow against the mesh. “They were actually quite enthusiastic to tell me.”

“They … were?” Imo said in surprise.

“It took me so long because everyone wanted their chance to talk about what they wanted. I started making a list.”

Imo rubbed his palms together excitedly. A list would be perfect! Once he and his superiors understood what it was that the mysa wanted, it would be so much easier to work with them. “A list? That’s great.”

“Yeah, so,” Spough sighed, “that’s what I did. I think I talked to just about everyone. Well, all the females, I mean. Guys are simple. Everyone knows what the guys want.”

That made the geroo smile. He didn’t have to spend much effort wondering just what that something could be.

“So,” he said, “did you bring it?”

“Hmm?” she grunted, seemingly surprised by his question. “Bring what?”

“The list, of course!” he laughed. “Did you bring the list of what everyone would like?”

Spough laid down on her side. She propped herself up with an elbow and curled her tail around her legs. “Nah,” she said, “no point really.”

“What? No!” Imo nearly shouted. “There’s absolutely a point. My people need to understand more about your people. The list would be a great way—”

“I mean that there’s no point bringing you a list,” she said. “I got it. After talking to so many friends and relatives, it was pretty obvious what they want.”

“Yeah?” Imo chewed his lip nervously. “What would that be?”

“Everything.”

Imo felt his heart drop into his stomach. He whispered, “What?”

“They want everything,” Spough said again. “They peek out at you geroo and they see what your lives are like. You have comfort, and you have variety. You have education, you can read and invent stuff. You have medicine and health. You have lights and music and dancing. And though we don’t understand it, you have close relationships between males and females without the burden of trying to feed a hundred pups.”

Imo covered his mouth with his paws. He stared wide-eyed at the screen but said nothing.

“Well,” she said, “there wasn’t much point in writing it down because I get it. We want what you guys have.”

“You … do?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” the little brown rodent said. She rested her cheek against her fist. “Pretty stupid, huh? We kill a few pests, and then in return, we want the whole galaxy—”

“Okay.”

Spough's ears stood upright. She panted slightly before managing to make a sound. She whispered, “What?”

Even though she couldn’t see, he waved his paws in front of his face. “Okay, obviously, I’m not in a position of power, and I can’t personally give all of that to you. But … that sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I’ll have to talk to people, and something this huge is certainly going to take time, but yeah, I bet we could arrange all of that.”

Spough scampered forward on her belly until she peered up at the robot through one of the holes in the fence. She stared at him a long while. “You’re … fucking with me, aren’t you?”

Imo scratched his head, confused. “I’m sorry,” he said, “there’s a translator program that converts your language to mine, and it’s been really great so far, but it had no idea how to translate that question. Can you rephrase it?”

She glared at the robot. “I was asking if you were toying with me. You’re not really serious, are you?”

“Oh! Okay!” he said with relief. “Yes, I’m absolutely serious. I’m going to go now and start talking to my people like you’ve been doing. It’ll take some time, but I’ll meet you back here, same time tomorrow so we can talk about my progress, okay?”

———

Reviewer's link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1f9Ekk71AaImsoQq3HT8F14oWW0SyZ_NV7JwCIC7qWnc/edit?usp=sharing

Thoughts?