The All-New Adventures of Sarsuk's Head 6 (Patreon)

@Voligne wanted a scene about Sarsuk being truly happy. That's a tall order for such a miserable cur as Sarsuk, so here's what I've come up with. I am trying to work closer to him being happy, but it's going to take more groundwork!

Also, this scene refers to three other stories. One is obviously Whatever Happened to Commissioner Sarsuk? but the observant reader will enjoy the other two as well!

———

Commissioner Sarsuk stared at the tiny geroo a long while, trying to rearrange the pieces of his thoughts until they would fit together properly, but no matter how he tried, they stubbornly refused. “So, Kanti’s dead?”

“He would have to be, wouldn’t he?” asked Siki. “The recycler disintegrated your claw, so wouldn’t it have done the same to him?”

“Well, yeah…” the krakun whispered, deep in his thoughts. “But it just seemed so real! I remember the note. I remember his face and his voice. Honestly, I hadn’t paid much attention to him when I was chasing him around the recycler bay—just that he was a rule breaker I needed to punish. But he had my full attention at the execution. It was … real.”

Siki nodded. “But it doesn’t sound very real, does it?”

Sarsuk stared at her from the corner of his eye, waiting, watching as she sipped her javea before he finally had to agree. “No, I suppose it doesn’t. So, you think I just—”

“Who do you love, Mr. Sarsuk?” she asked.

He blinked. “Oh, uh… I’m not… I’m single,” he finally managed.

“Okay, fine,” she said. “So, you’re not in a relationship. But, who do you love?”

He opened his mouth a moment before closing it. Did he love anyone? Nyakkat hardly counted. He shrugged, then realized she couldn’t see his shoulders. “I … uh … don’t?”

“Come now, Mr. Sarsuk, everyone loves someone. Give me a list.”

He shrugged again then shook his head. Not having shoulders took some adjustment. He’d never realized just how often he’d shrugged.

“Your family?” she prompted him.

“Not so much,” he admitted, resisting the urge to shrug. “My father was… I don’t think he enjoyed parenthood as much as he’d hoped. He made good on his obligations to support me financially for as long as the contract required. But when it expired, he went on his way and didn’t show any interest in being in my life.”

The krakun sighed. “Even when he was around, he was more of a looming presence, responsible for delivering punishments when I acted up so that my mother wouldn’t have to.”

“Contract?” asked the mammal, setting down her empty mug.

“Raising krakun offspring is a big commitment,” he explained. “It takes a lot of time, a lot of money… A lot of things can change in a thousand years, but smart parents will lock in a plan. If one parent got stuck with the whole burden, it could set their career back by millennias.”

“Oh,” she said. Then quickly changing the subject, “And your mother?”

“I thought I did,” he offered. “At first, your mom is your world, but that fades in time, doesn’t it?”

Now, it was Siki’s turn to shrug. “I’m close to my mom, but this conversation isn’t about me.”

“Yeah, I guess. Well, my mother always seemed disappointed in me,” he explained. “I can’t recall the last time she seemed proud. It must have been ages ago. I guess you just get tired of feeling like a burden. Love fades, and it’s replaced with a feeling of … obligation, like I was supposed to feel something that I didn’t. Eventually, it just seemed easier for everyone to stop calling.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Sarsuk,” she said. “That’s really shitty.”

“Would you mind—” he started to say, then closed his mouth and stared down at the floor.

“Mind what, Mr. Sarsuk?”

“Would you mind … if it wouldn’t be too much bother,” the krakun whispered, “calling me just ‘Sarsuk’ instead of ‘Mr. Sarsuk’ all the time? I’m just feeling a little…” The words faded.

“Vulnerable?”

“Maybe? Usually, I’m good at filling my life with distractions: work, television, slaves to yell at.” He took a moment to smile at her and even winked. “But last night was tough. It was hard being alone with my thoughts. It was a lot like waiting in prison, but I didn’t even have fear as a distraction.”

“So, you’d like to take comfort from a little closeness between us?” She cocked her head, waiting for him to reply.

“If it’s too much to ask, just forget it, okay!” he snapped, but she merely raised her paws.

“It’s not too much to ask,” she assured him. “I just want to understand your thinking.”

“Maybe?” he said again. “I do feel kinda needy.”

“Okay, do this,” Siki said, “just tell me some people you have affection for—it could be a lot or a little, it could be recent or long ago—and I’ll make an effort to call you Sarsuk.”

“Anyone?”

“Sure, anyone.”

“Well, there is this one actress who’s really hot…”

The geroo’s ears lifted in a smile. “Anyone you’ve met?”

“Well, I thought I had feelings for Nyakkat, obviously,” he said. “She was just using me, so obviously it didn’t mean anything, but I still felt it. I thought I loved her. Is that what you wanted?”

“It’s a good start, sure,” said Siki. “Who else have you loved, Sarsuk?”

He smiled at hearing her use his name. “Well, if you must know, there was a gal in school. Like Nyakkat, she was way out of my league, but for a little while, it felt like we had something.”

“What was her name?”

“Nokevti.”

“That’s a pretty name,” said Siki. “What was she like?”

“That probably wasn’t her real name,” he admitted. “There was a popular actress at the time by that name, so she was probably just using it as an alias. I never did understand what she wanted from me. She certainly didn’t need my help with her homework, and she tried harder to get into my bed than I was even trying to get her in there. I try not to think about it too hard, but I cherish the memories—and my imagination of what could have been—of my little Noke.”

He sighed and closed his eyes, thinking back on the day. “No matter what happens to me, she’s always going to have a little piece of one of my hearts.”

Siki smiled. “She must have been quite a gal.”

He smiled and averted his eyes. “I hope so,” he said. “I’ve always imagined that she became famous or important, like the CEO of a major corporation or something. I know that’s unlikely, so I’m kinda glad that I don’t know. She was amazing to me. It wouldn’t have been fair if I knew that she’d grown up to be … well, a nobody like me.”

“Oh, don’t be so down,” Siki said. “You’re probably the first guy to survive being beheaded. I’m not sure it’s much of an honor, but at least it’s something no one else can claim.”

Sarsuk grinned.

“So, who else?” When he shook his head, she added, “Doesn’t have to be romantic, just anyone you’ve had feelings for.”

“Well, there are a couple others, Siki, but telling you will just confirm that I’m a total loser.”

“I’m not trying to judge your life, Sarsuk.”

He frowned. “So, what are you doing?”

“I’m trying to decide how honest you’re being,” she said. “You’re in a unique position that no one’s ever been in before. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. So, will you be truly honest with me, or will you try to manipulate me to get what you want?”

When he didn’t reply, the geroo asked, “So, who were the others?”

“I don’t know their names,” he warned her.

“That’s okay. Tell me what you do know.”

“Well, the first was when I was really young,” Sarsuk said, “some regular playmate. He might have been a neighbor or maybe the son of one of my mom’s friends, but they’d come over every day and put us in a play  pit together. I think those are some of my happiest memories. There was no competition, no ulterior motives, no deception. We played together. We snuggled. We shared our snacks. It’s crazy to think that I’ve never felt that connected to someone ever since that moment.”

Now, Siki was silent.

“Sad, huh?”

“I’m not here to judge,” the geroo said, her voice soft, without any trace of cruelty.

“You don’t have to,” he said with a wink.

“And the other?”

“Just a stupid crush,” Sarsuk said, “someone I thought was cute, but I never asked out.”

“Why not?”

“Age difference, mostly,” the former commissioner admitted. “So much younger than me, I’d never dare. Just eye candy for me to daydream about.”

“Yeah?” she said with a smile.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I stopped by the shop each day on my way to work, irritable, not wanting to be out of bed. Irritable too because I knew if I said how I felt, I’d just get laughed at. Then, I’d order the same thing each day—a triple shot, whipped, Mocha Sulfusion—hoping that he’d start thinking of me as one of his regulars.”

“Didn’t work?”

Sarsuk shook his head. “He always got my name wrong—proof positive that I was paying more attention to him than he was to me.”

The krakun sucked in a deep breath and released it slow. “I guess he quit his job, eventually. The guy who replaced him wasn’t near as cute, so I stopped grabbing my javea from Solar Bark and just got it from the machine at the station.”

———

Reviewer's link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1I90uHoz6sQJpEOswhOsS54flczscmE5ApTLSFe0Gf8A/edit?usp=sharing

Thoughts?