Chapter 38 - Flash Gordon Theme (Patreon)

50 Miles from Minosian Capital. Planet Minos.

I heard nothing but the slow rhythmic thrumming of a guitar coming from my hoverbike’s studio grade speakers, feeling the bass beats practically vibrating my chest, and it was hyping me the fuck up! So, yeah, I couldn’t resist what I did next, though thankfully there was no one around to see it, or so I thought.

“Flash, ah-ah! Savior of the universe!!” I sang at the top of my lungs along with Freddy Mercury of Queen as I flew down from orbit into the strangely deep aqua blue sky of Minos approximately 50 miles from my new palace headquarters, a huge smile on my face. “Flash, ah-ah, he’ll save every one of us!”

When was the last time I had had silly fun like this?

I had chosen this distant starting point to both protect myself from any unexpected surprises, but also to get a bird’s eye view of my planet. Beaming in and out of places took away a lot of the best parts of travelling, as you missed so much of the beautiful sights along the way, so I thought, why not use my Hovercruiser 924 that had sat in storage for years?

Since restoring and rebuilding it back on Earth, I had had no opportunities to use it since. There were times during the Occupation I was tempted to use it, but using a 23rd century piece of human technology from Earth would have been a mistake on a hundred different levels and attract all the wrong kinds of high-level attention from the Cardassians.

Executing another high-speed turn at hundreds of miles per hour, I continued singing, really getting into the moment.

“Flash, ah-ah. He's a miracle!” I sang loudly, doing a spin that had me flying upside down for several seconds, my modifications keeping me firmly locked in my seat. “Flash, ah-ah. King of the impossible!”

Speaking of impossible, my head snapped to the side with whiplash as I caught a flash of something out the corner of my eye, something which hadn’t shown up on my bike’s advanced sensors until a moment ago and by all things rational shouldn’t even exist. Flying right next to me, who my sensors were telling me was 100% real, was Flash Gordon himself, played by a young Sam Jones, flying on his ridiculous 1980s inspired flying rocket cycle, which looked kind of like an old Wave Runner. He threw a giant 1980s movie star smile at me in greeting, shooting his ‘bike’s’ weapons into the air, before he pointed beyond me to my right.

I turned my head and was again greeted by the impossible, specifically the bushy brown beard and exaggerated smile of Prince Vultan, played by a young Brian Blessed, his feathered wings flapping insufficiently to truly keep him aloft and flying. His long black mace held in one hand. He flew closer, raising his head in the universally understood gesture of requesting a high five, which I happily gave him before he flew up and off into the distance, disappearing from my sensors.

Turning back to my left I gave Flash Gordon a high five too, his smile getting even larger before he rocketed off into the clouds.

I shook my head in fond exasperation at how ridiculous my life was and sent a mental ‘thank you’ and ‘well done’ to Q, who was the only one with a penchant for chaos and the requisite power to pull something like this off. I heard laughing on the wind.