So long for now.. (Patreon)

(tl:dr at bottom)

So I’m very burned out, not art-wise, just everything else-wise. I've been kind of a mess the past few days, trying to figure out a way to make this all work but there's no clear way. I love drawing, I like to think that if I could draw for the amount of time that I actually want to on a day to day basis, well, I imagine I could be quite good at it. To be near a level of the “The Greats”. But I don't have that time, I have bills that need to be paid and a family to think about. For now, I've put some last images down below. I've come a long way from what I was able to do when I started.

You can get pretty far without an education but I want to see what doors can open for me if I have one. I've been juggling “refresher” courses, art both for the comic and it’s site and just to catch up, and my health in all aspects, along with everything else but the kitchen sink. As much as it hurts me to say it, the time has come where I have to focus on income and education. I can’t keep trying to have my attention divided by so many things. I, like everyone else I imagine, want to succeed, and not just skirt by by the seat of my pants. Things need to change.

As you all may have noticed by now, I have set this page not to charge for November. It's also not going to charge for December, either. In fact, I don't know when it'll be set to charge again. I like to imagine I'll come back again, but I honestly don't know when that will be. I'm pushing so hard for this school because it feels like the right call, but, and this is a big but, I have to give up on a lot to focus on it. It's a lot of money and a lot of time. Both of which freak me out if I'm being honest. I've had a lot of things on my mind and I've been trying to work up the guts to get this out.

I've been mulling things over.. I'll be making one final post on January 1st, 2021, free to the public for whether you choose to stay a patron or not, there’s no pressure. It'll be everything I've shared up until this point. I'll organize it, or have someone organize it, though I think I can spare a day or two to see it done. The only posts left on here until I get back will be that one, a few text posts and an image post here and there. Everything else shall be purged.  The final post will be a time capsule, if you will. For now, I have to focus on school and boring work.

I do want to say that I am sorry. I'm sorry that work has been inconsistent, and that I'm sorry that I'm not good at talking to people one on one. I get that I'm pretty awkward, but still. I just couldn't keep up with everything I wanted to get done, even when I thought I could fix it when it started to stray, I couldn't do it.. I don't know how you'll all take this, so I'm sorry if this rubs you the wrong way but this is the way it has to be for now.

Am I going to be gone gone? Well, I honestly don't even know how active I'll be in the communities, whether it's from just the lack of time or the shame, or a heavy mixture of both. No one likes to admit that they've failed. It’s true though, its a big loss. I've failed. All this, stepping back, it feels final and I don't like it, but I hope, that once I'm in a better place, that maybe you'll all join me, wherever that is. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to start drawing for fun again and it'll be great. In either case, I wish you all the best. Stay safe, stay healthy, and I hope you all can be happy. Hopefully not for forever, this is ShatteredMemoirs, signing off.

tl:dr - I'm very tired and I can't do this anymore, at least for now. Can't juggle EVERYTHING I've been trying to and start school. Going to just work and try to go to school. Patrons aren't going to be charged for the foreseeable future. Might come back, but not sure if I will be able to. A free mega post will show up on January 1st to showcase everything I've done up until now. Gonna delete the bulk of everything else.