Weekly Update - 111 (Patreon)

One one one.

Ugh, so... we're travelling a lot this month and next.  It's supposed to be a vacation.  I know it's probably good to get out of the house, see other places and visit family, but that doesn't make it any easier.  Travelling is stressful, made yet moreso by Covid.  Airports suck, finding a petsitter can be really annoying sometimes, and the cats always seem to manage to make the house an utter disaster by the time we get home because they just can't stand for us to be away.  A vacation never seems like it would accomplish the goal of "just relax."  Vacations are rarely relaxing or fun.

It also means it's disrupting my post schedule a lot over the next 4 weeks or so.  I'll be posting this week, but probably not next week.  I'll be struggling to get something out the week after that, but I'm unlikely to be able to post anything the week following.

That's the current forecast, subject to change because I can't predict the future nor can I know how burnt out I am going to be after vacationing.

Comic This Week:  Yes.  I think so.  Gotta work my ass off to get it done and posted by late Tuesday before we leave but I'm gonna.

Drawing: Page 140

Playing: I wasted all weekend binging Rimworld but it seems pretty unlikely I'll be able to play much of anything else this week thanks to travel.

Ramble:

I want to rant a bit about Elden Ring, largely because I think it serves as a good example for a thought I had awhile back about critiques and how they can sometimes be fueled by emotion and, most notably, frustration when the critic feels as though their opinion isn't being heard.  This isn't a review, or really even a rant, lol, it's more just some self-analysis as I figure out why I'm like this.

I am not a fan of any of FromSoftware's Souls or "soulslike" titles.  It's not that I have any outwardly negative opinions about them or even any very harsh critique of them, they just aren't my cup of coffee.  I recognize and appreciate their popularity in the gaming space, and I think game developers of all kinds can learn from their success, however, any time I've tried to play one of them, I get about an hour or so into it before I realize I am not having any fun.  It simply isn't a style of gameplay I enjoy, nor is it a way that I want to spend my limited time on this world. Even so, I recognize that this is an unpopular opinion to have and I can be happy that other people enjoy these sorts of games.... EXCEPT...

Lately I've found that all the unrelenting praise about Elden Ring from all corners of gaming journalism has been getting to me, and that it's more than just a little tiresome.

I see articles, long articles, saying how Elden Ring is "the perfect game" and a "flawless masterpiece" and how it's just "impeccable" in its storytelling and design.  I have to disagree with these kinds of statements on principal, namely because when speaking in absolutes, it only requires a single example of the contrary to prove the statement false.  Furthermore, a game I don't enjoy at all is about the furthest thing from my definition of a "perfect" game.  Now, granted, a lot of this hyperbole journalism shit is sensationalizing and clickbaity, (because what journalism isn't these days,) but I have to acknowledge the impact that it has on me, seeing all of this overwhelming praise from the other side as a lover of games who happens to dislike a much-beloved game.

It's so rare that there exists a good game that I simply do not like, so I almost never get to feel this way.  I often find myself on the other side, being a fan of a good or decent game that is much loathed and berated (Ex. No Man's Sky, Cyberpunk 2077).  What I'm finding, though, is that all this rampant positivity that is repeatedly crossing my news feed is actually worsening my opinion of Elden Ring.  Where I started with indifference, it's slowly been turning to bitter toxicity.  When I was watching someone streaming the game, I've noticed that I've been getting gleeful satisfaction in seeing someone fall through the terrain, or when an enemy bugs out and either dies instantly or stops attacking, or when any of the game's NPCs begin spouting formulaic nonsense dialogue.  I've even begun rolling my eyes at fanart of the game because it's so monochromatic and bland and seeking out more videos from people highlighting the games flaws and bugs.  It's a bitterness for the game that has been breeding inside of me, subconsciously, that I didn't even recognize, didn't become aware of until recently.

This is highly unusual for me, because I'm normally very much the type to live and let live.  I don't normally get bitter about things, not really.  It's very rare that I allow things to fester inside of me.  Rather I like to step back and breathe and think about any given thing from multiple perspectives.  I prefer to remove myself from my emotional investment and consider things with a clear head, if I can.  I know that Elden Ring isn't my style of game, and I am fine with so many people enjoying it, as everyone should be free to do so, so why is it that all this praise for the game makes me feel resentful, maybe even hateful of it?  The only reason I can come up with is because my experience with the games FromSoftware makes, and by extension my opinion of them, feels like it doesn't matter.  The very idea that Elden Ring isn't the perfect game is an idea that feels like it's being ignored, and also how dare I think that way.  As an average, typical human, I very much would like to matter.  Mattering is important to me.  The idea that my opinion doesn't matter makes me want to stand up on a soap box and shout "um actually, not everyone likes Elden Ring!"  Then sit back down quietly before everyone turns around and murders me with their swords.

The point I think I'm getting at is this: I feel like a lot of critique, legitimate critique, can be born out of a vague feeling of just not being heard.  People want their opinions to matter.  It's important to us.  But it's also scary to go against popular opinion.  The majority will usually shout louder than the minority in most things, and critics may feel that they need to go to increasingly more extreme levels of volume just to make sure their voice isn't being drowned out by the rest.  Sometimes this goes too far, and someone who lets their emotions rule them can become a toxic megaphone of seething and unproductive critique.  The simple opinion of "I don't like this thing" can mutate into a cocoon of "this thing sucks because" before metamorphizing into "THIS THING FUCKING SUCKS AND ALSO FUCK YOU!" as a critic succumbs to their frustration and anger, ruminating and reinforcing their opinion like a concrete fortress wrapped in barbed wire before finally lashing out from it.  A process which can also be accelerated if their initial efforts at voicing their opinion are also met with aggressiveness from those holding an opposed view.  Putting someone on the defensive is a sure-fire way to get them to continue to disagree with you, even if you back them into an irrational corner.

The thing is, expressing opinions does not need to always be so divisive.  It's entirely acceptable for someone to not like something that many people like.  It's entirely acceptable to be different from the majority.  Much in the same way that it's entirely acceptable for someone to like something that most people do not.  Only problems arise from when we stop listening to one another or when we shout down the people who feel as though their voice isn't being heard.

The other takeaway that I want to leave on is a better awareness of myself.  Do I truly hate Elden Ring?  No, not in the slightest.  And when I consciously think about it I have no reason to be bitter or hateful towards it.  While I may feel a little resentful that my opinion of the game goes largely unrepresented as far as I can tell, my emotions do not control and should not control my analysis.  I have never played the game, I've only seen enough of Elden Ring to know that it would not appeal to me, similarly to the other games made by FromSoftware.  I cannot objectively say that Elden Ring is a bad game when it is so highly praised by so many people.  I know only that it does not appeal to me, and that it is not the "perfect game" that every other game should try to be, according to journalists that want you to click on their articles so they can earn that sweet, sweet ad revenue.

Anyway, I feel like these rambles, and perhaps my brain, are losing whatever cohesion they might have once had.  Maybe I really DO need a vacation.