Lesson Learned (Patreon)

In the middle of whacking off to my normal internet porno clips, I decide I’m tired of jerking off. Out of pure horniness, I decided it was time for a reckless, perverted, bad decision.  

I wanted girls to see my dick, and while I knew it would offend some, and maybe end some friendships, the payoff would be worth it if I were successful at coercing a woman into sex.
 

I get my boner to its absolute zenith, then snap a couple phone pics. After settling on one that looks good, I look at your contacts and decide to cast a wide net. I checked off present-day acquaintances, girls I hadn’t seen since high school, former co-workers, everyone I’d consider banging.
 

Once I had a few dozen targets selected, I hit send. Within seconds your phone started lighting up.
 

“lol” was all Samantha, a friend of a friend, had to say.

“lmao tiny!” quipped Diana, a girl from a college class you did a group project with.

“good to see I dodged a bullet” replied Julia, a barista you went on a date with once.
“umm wtf is going on?” said a message from Rachel, a girl you’d known since middle school.

Wait, why were they popping up all in the same text window? How could that have happened. To my horror, another message the next moment explained exactly why.  

“Omgggg I think he tried to send it to all of us at once but it made a group text instead!!!” realized Lydia out loud. This prompted a considerable wave of “lmao” and “omg” and laugh-cry emoji texts to pour in.
 

“At least he saved us all the trouble of getting us all together to roast him” Added Sarah from my college dorm, followed by a shrimp emoji.

“This is too funny its like he gathered every girl hes ever met in a theater and yelled through a megaphone he had a tiny dick” said Diana.
 

“Should we kick him from the group and just keep talking shit about his shrimpdick?” suggested Rachel.

“Nah lol leave him in so he can take the consequences of being a moron and a creep at the same time” counter-suggested Samantha. A new stream of messages poured in seeming to agree. My phonne blipped every moment, each message more humiliating than the last. They compared me to their pinky fingers, baby carrots, questioned whether or not it could actually be a functional penis, and so on.  

“This is fun!” Diana finally said. “Lets get together in person for coffee! I’ve wanted to try that new place downtown called the Grounds Spot.”

“Perfect!” Sarah said. “If we shorten it to the g-spot, he’ll never be able to find it!”

This of course prompted another wave of laugh-cry emojis.  

Because of my momentary rash, horny decision, every girl I knew was about to go out for coffee and make fun of my dick together. Lesson learned, I suppose.