Haruhi's Appraisal (Patreon)

In the hallway before class began, you glimpsed Haruhi Suzumiya. You knew two things about her: She was gorgeous, and she had an eternal reputation for being a complete weirdo. There were all sorts of stories about weird shenanigans she had pulled over the years but you never knew what to believe. She started some weird club in freshman year that was about aliens or something, but once she grew out of her chuunibyou phase she started using it as a front for some kinda weird afterschool sex club? Sounded too ridiculous to be true. Regardless, you definitely believed the first part though. Haruhi was a knockout.  

But then, you made a critical blunder. You ogle Haruhi for just a second too long, and she looks in your direction, making brief but uncomfortable eye contact. You try to play it off by immediately looking away, but that probably just made you look more guilty. It was too late: Haruhi was making her way toward you. Who knew what she was going to do?  

“Hey. You were staring at me. What gives?” She asks coldly.

“I, uh...” was all that escaped your lips before she interrupted.

“You’re interested in joining the club, right?” She asked, equally cold.

“Uh, yeah!” You settle on. If what you’d heard was true, it wonuldn’t be that bad. No sooner was the word out of your mouth, Haruhi had heard all that she’d needed to, and wrapped her fist tighly on your tie. She began pulling with more strength than you’d imagine a girl of her size would have, leading you through the hall to a dark, secluded stairwell in the old part of the school.
 

She backed you into a corner. Before you could say anything, Haruhi’s eyes turned downward and she placed a hand firmly on your crotch. She fondled and squeezed, trying to get a full assessment of it’s shape and size.  

“Ugh, your package feels pathetic! How dare you even think you’re worthy to make eye contact with the Brigade Chief when all you have to offer is such diminutive genitalia!?” she barked. But then, her eyes shifted, an almost imperceptible change, from scolding to domineering.  

“Show it to me.” she ordered. “Now.”  

She intimidates so successfully that you have no choice but to comply. You fumble with your belt a little, but you’re apparently not meeting her desired speed, because she reaches out with a sigh and forcefully tugs your waistband down, exposing your semi-erect package instantly.  

Haruhi stared at it. But she didn’t laugh or even smile. Instead, a look of disgust formed on her face.

“Pathetic,” she grumbled. “It’s a miracle they let you wear that uniform, because that’s the boy’s uniform. Clearly you don’t qualify to wear it. Boys have dicks. You have a clit, so you should be wearing a serafuku and a skirt, just like me.”

“However!” She looked back up at me, and lifted my chin to meet her gaze. “I still believe the SOS Brigade has a place for someone like you.”  

You perked up, but it faded as Haruhi continued to explain.

“I’ll lock you in a chastity cage like all the other shrimpdicks, and you’ll become an oral love slave for the female members. And you’ll shower them with gratitude for the privilege of letting a pindick anywhere near our pussies.”