burnout (Patreon)

So...I think I might need to pause again for a while. 

I hate doing this - I always hate doing it, but I especially hate to coming so soon off a recent scheduled break.  And it hasn't been all that long, just a couple months, since my last unscheduled major break.  Stopping now feels unearned. 

But I'm beginning to think I've come to a point where I have to or there's going to be a much worse problem. 

I've had more trouble getting chapters out lately than ever; I don't think the Avenist tier has had one on time since I resumed TGAB.  Just now, I realized I have spaced out so badly I haven't unloaded any of the planned chapters to Royal Road all day, which is an unprecedented lapse.  I've also just realized I haven't even done the bonus chapter polls or AMA stuff for Patrons since re-launching TGAB, which is even worse.  In talking with my therapist, it came up that doing a complete re-write of all three books of OVDT at a time when I was just beginning to recover from the stress that series causes me seems to have kicked me into a state of complete burnout. 

I do not, overall, feel that bad.  Usually this kind of thing is accompanied by a major depressive episode.  Okay, I had a super bad one of those very recently which is probably related, but I'm pretty sure I'm over that.  It's just creatively that I seem to be flaming out.  Trying to get my work done is like scraping the last dregs of sauce out of the bottom of the bottle with a spoon that doesn't quite fit.

I hate it, but I need to pause for a while.  I am going to give this a week, making an active effort at self-care, and then reassess.  I'll keep in touch on my progress. 

Thanks, everybody.