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I have to apologize again (Patreon)

Published:
2021-08-12 23:08:06
Imported:
2022-02

Content

So, as you all just saw, this month's voted bonus chapter is 12 days late.  Coming as it did during my much-needed break, which I just barely managed to limp to in a state of burnout without having missed an update in OVDT's first book (except the one from when I got the second covid shot), I probably should have suspended the bonus chapters during break to make it a proper break. 

As I've considered how to get the bonus voting schedule back on track, I have reluctantly decided to retroactively do that.

While I'd thought I could surely bang out one chapter during an almost month long vacation from writing, I had clearly underestimated my state of mental strain and how much I needed the rest, hence it taking me nearly two weeks to do this.  With that in mind, and also considering the lessons I've learned from years of this song and dance, I've concluded that what's best is to write off August with my apologies and start fresh next month.  Experience has taught me that trying to play catchup will only accelerate the mental stress and lead to a vicious spiral of more missed deadlines and skipped updates.  Instead of that, I'm going to accept the fact that I've missed this one and resume the normal schedule next month.

I hate to do that, but I'd hate even less what'll happen if I try to push myself past a mental barrier.  That never works and always backfires.

I apologize for this and hope you all aren't too disappointed.  As always, I appreciate everyone's readership and support very much, and I will continue doing my best to create good stories for you.

Comments

Ragav Kumar

Take care of yourself, man. We'll be here when you're ready.

Isaac Boyles

Not at all disappointed, value yourself - we do 🙂

Anonymous

Your stories are some of my favorite, even at their highest fantasy moments you find ways to make aspects of the characters resonate. You do plenty and I'm sorry this one had a mental block this time, taking care of yourself is always first. I've been a reader for years and I know I'll be here through breaks, story changes or surprise hellgates. Get some proper rest and try not to feel guilty or frustrated at this, you put out so much great content and I'm happy to help support you even on breaks.

Arillius

Take your time.

Anonymous

Mate, your health is more important than meeting the deadline. Take the time to take care of yourself and don't worry, we'll still be here when you come back.

Anonymous

This is definitely the right call. Take September and October off too if you need it.

Shane Andrews

My man, I love your writing. I'm super excited every time I see a new chapter. That being said, I would much rather you be happy healthy and enjoying your writing then try and keep to literally any kind of schedule- I would much rather read a chapter 3 months late and have you enjoying the writing then have you push yourself too hard, burn out, and lose the ability to have fun with it. Plus if you're enjoying your writing, you're much more likely to keep doing it in the long run- I've lost too many stories to writers who tried to write their audience instead of writing themselves, and eventually just stopped having fun. Take your time! Relax! I'm putting money into your Patreon because I love what you do and I want you to be able to keep doing it, not because I have expectations of 'X amount of content per month'

James Peebles

I also lived around the edge of extreme burnout for years. What worked for me was/is at the core internalizing that I am the most important person in my life, barring temporary events others may be going through. This means treating oneself, in every way, at least as well as one would treat a best friend or significant other. Don't treat, or have different expectations for oneself, than one has for others, positively or negatively. After all, you are just a person like everyone else. It may seem selfish to be the most important person in your life, BUT only on short-term timeframes. When you think about your entire lifetime, taking care of yourself in that way should result in the greatest total excess energy generated to give out to others. Don't hate accepting delaying the schedule, own that moment of acceptance and take pride in it, let that wash away the negative feelings about the schedule being delayed. You don't 'have' to apologize again, you are, and that is good, not bad. Learn to extract good feelings, no matter how minuscule, out of moments like those instead of bad ones, and you will habitually push away from burnout and mental breakdown, instead of habitually pushing yourself towards it.

Maltheos

First rule: You OWE us nothing. Second rule: We appreciate what you make for us. Third rule:. Maintainance is needed to keep any system/ machine at optimal function. So do what you need for self maintainance first and foremost. If you are concerned with time away causing issues, build in that time- for example formally say . " I am taking the first week of every month off as sanity time". Or proclaim that you are taking every third month off. If you are concerned with our expectations, preemptively manage them. You seem to often need to take the time off BEFORE you hit the metaphoric wall, and setting the right schedule is likely part of that. You have a tendency to keep going until you collapse. Taking regular breaks likely will Iimprove stamina and preemptively prevent you distressing yourself due to your personal expectations.